A/N: This story is not meant to be funny it is meant to be strange. So I'm sure you will find it to be strange. If for some reason you find it to be funny I suggest you visit a hospital promptly. Without further ado

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Draco Malfoy knew that if he could blame it on Scorpius it would take some of the blame away from his conscience. That was a good one; blame his son for the former's extramarital affair.

It was Scorpius who had brought back the memories of old, Scorpius, who in his seventh year brought his girlfriend home for the Holidays. This girlfriend being none other than Lily Potter, she was two years younger than him and a Gryffindor. He was hardly surprised when Harry Potter showed up at his house the next morning with a glare demanding to see his daughter. Draco had thanked his lucky stars that Astoria had put them in two separate hallways. It saved him a lot of stress. In the end they broke up and Scorpius went for a Ravenclawin his own year.

That did not save the oldest Malfoy however, no his son had broken up with Lily and so the universe had decided to curse him, and that meant the past.

Not coincidence, no matter what Astoria said. It hadn't been coincidence, Instead it was the cruel hand of fate.

First Ginny, he'd run into her at Flourish & Blotts. Two adults Christmas shopping for book their children would never read. They both noticed each other, but did not go o far as to acknowledge the other. They were still at ends over how Scorpius had de-flowered precious Lily before savagely breaking her heart. (At least that was how the Potters told it, Scorpius had a different spin to the story, and Draco chose to believe the latter, for his sanity). That, and how Draco had supported the Dark Lord, tried to kill Dumbledore, and almost sent a Cruciatus curse at Potter. Such little things really.

That night he dreamt of his Aunt Bellatrix. They were in the Malfoy Manor and she was laughing, no not laughing, cackling, jets of green were flying from her wand and her raven hair was flying.

He woke up in a cold sweat with his chest heaving as he began to curse his wife for being in Italy. At that point his fear turned to rage as he began to wonder why exactly she was there. Wasn't Zabini in Italy? He ignored that Italy was a country and it was very possible they would never see each other.

Never mind, it was Astoria's fault the affair had started. If she had been faithful he would have been too. If she had been around more often their son would not have considered sleeping with Rose Weasley because he was mad at his girlfriend. And then he never would have gotten into that confrontation with Ron Weasley.

That had happened under the most unfortunate circumstances. Rose, who was convinced she was pregnant, and Scorpius who Apparated to France and stayed with his grandparents until Astoria finally arrived and dragged him back. She wasn't actually pregnant, but by then the damage was already inflicted and Ron paid the manor a visit. He had come for the son and ended with the father, the surly father. Conversations turned to a heated arguments and then drawn wands. It ended with Scorpius making a grand entrance red-faced and embarrassed with his mother standing behind him glaring as he zipped his pants and a teenage girl disappeared around the corner. That was the first time Draco considered sterilizing his son.

The night that Ron left, more upset than he had come, he had a second dream. It was about fire, a fire that never stopped burning and a body roasting inside of it. He knew it was Crabbe. This time he woke up screaming to see his son standing in the doorway with a frown.

"Samantha broke up with me." Samantha being his Ravenclaw girlfriend, Scorpius said it as though he was surprised.

Draco and his son spent the night complaining about women. He told Scorpius all about Pansy and the younger Malfoy assured his father that he had never deflowered Lily. He wasn't sure if he believed him but pretended to, why ruin a heart- to- heart with a lecture?

Astoria came home during their talk looking extremely agitated and finally confirmed his suspicions, yes she was seeing Blaise Zabini and surprise she was going to have his child…she was not joking.

It was Zabini's fault; the man had stolen his wife. How was he supposed to compete with tall, dark, handsome, and rich? It was Zabini who drove him into a mid-life crisis. It was that wizard's fault he ended up sitting hi his office at work doing absolutely nothing. Somehow Harry Potter ended up in there. As soon as he opened his mouth Malfoy stopped him.

"Scorpius didn't do it!" It usually worked for whatever conversation. Not this time though, Harry Potter had come to talk about Astoria and why she had resigned. However, upon hearing Malfoy's excuse his face turned red, apparently Scorpius was a subject that remained touchy in the Potter household. In the end after the spouts of yelling were over he learned they were dating again – Lily and Scorpius. It was then that Malfoy decided to kill his son; of course he went back on that promise later, a pity.

He had his final dream that night, it was of Voldemort himself. The dark wizard was standing before him looking angry his wand drawn.

"Crucio," His yell vibrated until Draco was shaken away by Astoria who even with her infidelity cared enough to stop his suffering.

Hermione Weasley was his last visitor. When he saw her in Diagon Alley he turned his head the other way, the last thing he needed was for her to bring up Rose. His wish was not granted apparently Draco was not a lucky star.

"Hey, Malfoy." She waved him over and he had no choice to comply.

"What Granger?" She would always be Granger to him, no matter who she married.

"I heard about Scorpius…"

"What about him?" he hoped the worry didn't show on his face.

"He's in training to be an auror under Harry…he didn't tell you? Well congratulate him for me." At that moment he really was speechless. Rose Weasley's mother had congratulated Scorpius Malfoy.

"Are you sick, Granger?"

"No, I just don't hold onto the past."

"My son…you complimented my son…he…he…"

"Oh that," she laughed, "that wasn't Scorpius Rose was wrong."

"So my son's a virgin?"

"No." She laughed harder.

"So your daughter's a slut?" Her smile fell.

It was Granger's fault. Granger and her stupid insistence that he sit down while she told him everything. A few fire-whiskey's after he absorbed it all. His son had been worried about his sexuality and Rose had been a reassurance, but Rose was dating Carl Thomas. Their one night stand only further complicated things.

"So my son's gay?" He said it three fire-whiskeys later.

"Err…no…he loves Lily."

"POTTER!" Another glass of fire-whiskey and a nervous Granger.

"Yeah…"

No, Malfoy was right originally, it was Scorpius's fault. Scorpius with his stupid sexual-orientation problems. Scorpius who had left it so Granger would have to tell him.

Granger with that smile that looked so much better when he was drunk. Granger who had aged well and Granger who had not attacked him at first glance.

All right so maybe the affair was his own damned fault and Granger had not dropped a love potion into his fire-whiskey. Maybe by the time she had dragged him back to the manor he was ready for anything as a release.

He was not sure exactly how it happened, just waking up the next morning with a blistering headache and his clothes in disarray around the room. And then there was Scorpius who was smiling slyly without saying why. Draco never did confront his son about the conversation he had with Granger. However he did stare pointedly when Lily came over later that day. His son gave him a look back I'll keep your secret if you keep mine.

That became their unsaid compromise, and when the two walked down Diagon Alley towards Gringotts later that day and ran into the Weasleys, Draco did not even stop Scorpius from saying hi to Rose even if it meant Ron's face matched his hair and Hermione wasn't exactly meeting his eyes.

Later that day she cornered him at the Ministry.

"I need to talk to you about last night."

"What about it?" he had said it as uninterested as he could muster.

"We…well…you know."

"Afraid to say it out loud Granger?" He mocked before gathering his stuff to leave.

"Listen to me Draco!" He stopped to face her.

"Yes."

"This is not an issue to be taken lightly."

"You're right Granger: I used you, you used me. It's over and done with forget about it."

"That's it then!" He looked around quickly, yup she had yelled and people were staring.

"We'll talk about this later." He hissed dangerously low.

"Fine!" She kept her own low as well. Meet me…"

"At the manor." He finished and Dissaparated back to the house."

Zabini, seeing Blaise Zabini in his house did nothing but cause him wrath. Scorpius looked up from a book he was clearly not reading. Apparently this confrontation would be more interesting than whatever book it was.

"What are you doing here?" Draco's voice was low, seething.

"Came for a visit," The mocking tone with which he said it was not lost on Malfoy.

"Get Out!" He was sure that his ears were turning pink. It was one of those things that just didn't go away with time.

"Afraid of a little competition?" It was the way Zabini phrased competition and how Scorpius was watching to see if his father would fight for his mother.

Sometimes a fist fight is the only way to solve a problem. That was what Draco learned, no wands just skin, sweat, and blood while Scorpius looked on gleefully. It was Astoria who broke up the fight, she walked in and her face instantly changed from ecstasy to anger before she flicked her wand sending them both against opposite walls and motioning Scorpius to his room.

By the time Hermione came that night Scorpius was gone muttering something incoherent. Astoria had gone with Blaise and Draco was considering whether or not to file for divorce.

"You shouldn't, you love her." It was Granger, and she had apparently let herself in.

"Granger." He greeted her with an eye roll,

"I need to…" She began but he silenced her.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do wee need to talk about it, Granger, it's over?"

"OVER!" She shrieked. Hermione didn't shriek. Pansy did. And Granger would never let him call her Granger now that she was Weasley. And Granger…Granger..Granger…

"Pansy…" he stuttered and Granger laughed, no she shrieked.

"Draco, aren't I better than her, better than Astoria, better than Granger. Yeah, Granger's in France, but Ron doesn't know that. And Scorpius well he's not confused he just doesn't know how to keep his pants on and Blasie and Tori, they met while she was in Italy, some of my best work I think. She loves him because he makes her feel special.

Yep, it was Pansy's fault. It was always that blasted pug's fault.

A/N: Review?