Hello! Welcome to my new story! This one's going to be a bit different from my rest. Every other chapter will be told from the other's point of view. For example, this first chapter is Riku's, so the next chapter will be Sora's. So basically, odd chapters are Riku and evens are Sora. Also, two chapters will be released at time, and thus each chapter will compliment the other. Anywho, I'm really excited to be finally writing this story. It came to me quite some time ago. Hope you all enjoy xD

X.x.x...If Only...x.x.X

Chapter 1

Riku. College graduation. A time to look to the future. A time for change. I hope you succeed. Do well.

I threw the card in a nearby trashcan and sighed. It was from an uncle in California. One of those relatives who only sent cards with money on special occasions. I guess college graduation was high on the list of special events.

I looked around me and my roommates dorm. Boxes littered the floor and futon sat against the back wall. I should really be trying to get my stuff packed, but I really just wanted a nap. I threw myself on my bed, letting my long, sliver hair fall in clumps around me. I had a lot coming up in the next few days. I turned to my side, my end table now in view. I opened the first drawer and pulled out a small black box as I laid on my back once more. Idly, I opened and closed the box, thinking about how I was going to do this.

Then my thoughts moved somewhere else. Graduation. The ceremony itself was the day after tomorrow, but I was essentially done with my college career. The only thing that stood between me and my job out west was packing and walking across a stage. I sighed and closed my eyes, not ready to face that simple fact.

Just as my mind was finally at ease, the door opened. I clenched my eyes together as hard as humanly possible. I was not ready to face this.

"Riku! Are you awake?" a huge mess of brunet pounced on my bed.

"Not that it matters to you, Sora, but I was trying to nap," I said through a slit in my mouth.

"You should be packing," Sora said in a matter-of-fact tone. He removed himself from on top of me and sat on the edge of my bed. "The movers are coming at nine tomorrow morning."

"I know. I know," I sighed as sat up, leaning my back against the wall. "I just have a lot on my mind right now, that's all." I looked down. The little box was but inches from my hand. I quickly went to retrieve it.

"Oh!" Sora had noticed my sudden movement. "Is that the ring?!" He voice was full of excitement.

"Yes, it is," I tried to smiled. "And now I bet you want to see it, right?"

"Of course I do," Sora nodded and reached over to grab the box from my hand. He opened it and revealed a simple silver band with a rather large trio of diamonds. "Aw, Riku. She's going to love it."

"Let's hope so," I took the box back from Sora and promptly closed it. "I'm meeting Kairi tonight at seven for dinner."

"Are you going to ask her tonight? Do you think she'll say yes?" I looked at Sora. He looked genuinely happy about this. It made me happy to know he was supportive.

"Yeah, I'm asking tonight and I don't know. We've been dating for a year. She might see it as rushed," I shrugged and placed the small box back in the end table drawer.

"Even if it is rushed, you could always have a long engagement," Sora reasoned, still smiling at me. "I think she's luck to have you."

"Thanks, Sora," I reached to ruffle my long-time roommates hair. We met freshman year, being randomly assigned to live with each other. Turns out, we got along well and roomed together all four years of college. And now I was leaving. I sighed. Here comes the hard part. "Hey, remember that job I applied for?"

"The one in California with that one gaming company?" Sora said, still looking at me. He was one for eye contact.

"Yeah, that one," I sighed and leaned my head against the wall. "Turns out they love my work. I leave the night of graduation for training." Why not just ramble and get it all out there? I closed my eyes waiting for Sora's reaction.

"Really?" at first Sora's voice was low. I turned my head slightly, hoping he wouldn't notice my movement. Sure enough, Sora sat, looking dejectedly at the floor. Then I saw him shake his head. I quickly closed my eyes. "I'm happy for you," he said in his commonly cheerful voice, wrapping his arms around me. "I'm going to miss you, though."

"I'll miss you, too," I said, a sudden pang in my heart made me keep my eyes closed. Sora had got a job with a magazine in New York City. We would be on opposite sides of the country in less than two days. "But, hey, we'll visit each other and still be good friends no matter what," I reasoned. It didn't too unreasonable.

"Yep," Sora leaned back, still half on my lap. "It's going to take way more than a country and a fiance to keep us from being friends."

"Got that right," I said back with a smile.

I looked into Sora's eyes, trying to make sure I would never lose them. Sora had become my best friend. The only guy I could really connect with. In many ways, he was my complete opposite – happy, comforting, always smiling. But at the same time, it hurt me to know I wouldn't come home to find him playing some video game at three in the morning.

"I've got an idea. How about we spend all day tomorrow with each other?" the idea had suddenly popped into my head. "I'll pack now and then we can just have a guy's day. I mean, if Kairi says yes, she'll be moving with me, so she will understand if me and you spend our last day of college together."

"Sounds like a plan," his eyes lit up. I was sure they were sparkling.

I got off my bed and started packing. My clothes would take the longest, so I started at my closet. I watched Sora out of the corner of my eye. He looked content enough. I hoped he wouldn't relapse once I was gone. He'd made so much progress. When he first came to college, Sora was quiet and kind of a loner. He didn't trust any one, but somehow we connected. I sighed and continued my cleaning.

After a few hours, almost everything was packed up, just had the DVD and video game collection to clean up. I'd wait till after my day with Sora tomorrow to put those things into boxes. I threw myself on to our futon. Sora follow suite and sat next to me. He placed his head on my shoulder, something I was used to. I placed and arm around his.

"Maybe I'll just get a job in California," Sora said, closing his eyes.

I remained quiet for a second. That wouldn't be so bad? Right? I could have my girlfriend and best friend in the same state. I briefly shook my head. "No, Sora, you have your dream job lined up in New York."

"But I'll miss you!" his arms swung around me.

"I'll miss you, too, but we'll be okay," I said as I buried my face in his chestnut hair. We sat like that for a good ten minutes. I could feel the front of my shirt become wet as Sora's body heaved in my arms. I held my breath. I couldn't let myself cry in front of him. I finally glanced at the clock. "Sora," I said as I pried the boy from my shirt, "I have to go get changed and pick up Kairi. Will you be okay?"

"Mhm," Sora sat up, taking a breath in, and leaned back on the futon. "Roxas is coming by soon."

"Good," I ruffled Sora's hair as I stood. "Don't try to get yourself too down." I walked into our bathroom and started getting ready.

A good thirty minutes later I appeared from behind the door to a full dorm room. Sora sat on his bed while Axel, Roxas, Namine and Tidus all sat around room.

"Nice pants," Sora giggled.

I looked down. I was wearing dress pants and a button down shirt, "Shush you." I grabbed a pillow off my bed at chucked it at Sora. "I thought you said Roxas was coming over, not everyone we knew." I reached into the end table, grabbed the box and shoved it into my pocket.

"Is that the ring!?" Namine's voice squeaked. "Let me see!" she dove off Sora's bed and pleaded with her eyes.

I sighed, opened the box for a second, listened to her gasp and praise my choice in jewelry, then put the box back in my pocket. "Now if you would all please excuse me, I have to go pick up my future fiancé." I smiled in Sora's general direction and exited the room.

Kairi's dorm wasn't too far. I knocked on her door. She answered, wearing a rather cute sundress. She smiled and closed the door behind her. I smiled as I leaned in to kiss her cheek. "You look wonderful tonight," I said, taking her hand in the process.

"As do you," she blushed and exited the room. I took her hand and led her out to my car. "Where are we going?" she asked as I opened the car's door for her.

"Just to dinner," I shrugged and made my way over to the driver's seat. I could feel the small box awkwardly smash against my leg.

"Good. I'm starving," she said. Her hands worked to change my favorite CD to a rap station. The action made me shudder a tad. "Oh, come on, Riku. I can't listen to your screamo stuff all the time. I'll go crazy."

I laughed a little, gripping the steering wheel as some rapper went on about boots with fur and jeans with apples or something. We arrived at the restaurant fast enough. I paid the valet and escorted Kairi to the dinning room.

Dinner was quiet and uneventful. Kairi talked about how she had applied to so many school trying to get a job as a first grade teacher and I briefly discussed my job in California. She seemed eager to travel across the US for my sake. That made me smile. The server brought out our dessert and I figured it was a better time than ever. I took Kairi's hand and smiled into her eyes. I noticed how her red hair looked against the pink in her dress.

"Something wrong?" Kairi asked in a small voice.

"No, nothing's wrong," I moved from my chair to a knee on the ground. "I love you, Kairi."

I looked up. She was holding her breath. I could tell. "I love you, too," her eyes wide.

"I want to spend every day with you from now until forever. Marry me, Kairi," I pulled the box from my pocket and opened it in front of her.

She blinked and then nodded energetically. "Yes! Yes! Of course, yes!" her arms flung around my neck as her lips crashed with my own. I pulled her away to place the small band on her left ring finger. She put her hand out in front of her and stretched her fingers. "Oh, Riku. It's perfect."

I took her hand and kissed it. "Yes, you are," I returned to my seat at the table.

We both enjoyed our dessert and I took Kairi back to my dorm. She invited me to stay the night, but I explained how I didn't have much time left with Sora and really should get back to the boy. She nodded and seemed to understand, although I thought I saw the corner of her mouth twitch at Sora's name, but I decided I was just seeing things. I kissed her goodnight and started the short trek to my dorm.

Everyone was gone when I entered the dorm. The lights were turned off save for the light of the TV. I smiled when I saw Sora curled up on our futon. I moved his head so it was on my lap and tapped his shoulder. "It's late, Sora. You should probably get to bed."

Sora yawned as he stretched his arms. "Did she say yes?" His eyes were still closed.

"Yep. Looks like I'm getting married," I smiled down to Sora.

"Congrats," Sora sat up, rubbing his eyes. He smiled wearily at me.

"Come on, Sora. We should get some rest," I placed an arm around Sora and pulled him from the futon, placing him on his bed. He stumbled and fell onto the bed. "Has someone been drinking?" I laughed a little. Drunk Sora was always one of my favorites.

"Only had a few drinks," Sora's words slurred as he struggled to keep his eyes open.

"I'm going to have to keep a better eye on you," I grimaced when I realized in a few days those words would be impossible. "Get some sleep, Sora."

"So, see you in the morning then?" Sora said, already curling into the ball in which he slept in.

"'Course," I smiled at Sora's young appearance. "'Night, Sora."

"Goodnight, Riku," he said as his eyes closed.

I wondered if Sora would ever look his age, or would he always look like a 16 year old? I was sure Sora was fast asleep. One of my roommates brown spikes fell down over his eyes, tickling his nose. I saw Sora's face twitch. I brushed the troublesome hair back behind Sora's ear, resting my hand on Sora's cheek. As I was about to pull my hand back, Sora placed his hand on mine.

I looked at Sora's face. He was definitely still asleep, but still, Sora's hand lingered on my own. A sudden swelling came to my heart. I nearly choked on this new feeling. I pulled my hand away slowly, not trying to wake Sora. I instantly missed the warmth.

After thoroughly shaking my head, I stalked off to my own bed. I let my head hit my pillow rather hard. Maybe the action would clear my thoughts. Probably not. I sighed and turned to face the wall.

I had just asked Kairi to marry me and old feelings decided to resurface? I groaned. Sure, I had a crush on my roommate most of sophomore year. Every one knew I was bi. And I knew Sora was gay. But Sora politely told me he didn't want to date me. It would ruin our friendship. I spent junior year trying to suppress my feelings toward the brunet and then I met Kairi, a transfer student.

But why now? I shook my head. I had basically given myself to Kairi and then Sora touched me, in his sleep no less, and my head started to spin. I clenched my eyes closed, demanding the sleep they weren't providing.

I let out a series of muffled noised as I turned to my back. I would make myself sleep, somehow. I didn't need doubt over my actions right now. I kept my eyes closed and tried not to think until sleep finally came over me.