My Sin

I was adjusting my tie; I kept glancing over at the mirror for at least the fiftieth time, and would look over at my Logan, Carlos, and my best man, James.

God I was turning into James.

"Dude, chill out man your turning into me." James joked lightheartedly.

They laughed at James' comment. I let out a nervous laugh.

I looked at my best friends. This was the day. The most important day of my life, so far nothing could go wrong.

I mean I'm marrying the girl of my dreams.

I'll tell you it was a hard choice picking out who was going to be the best man.

It was answered when I had to choose the color of my tux, thankfully James was there.

Who knew there was so many colors for tuxes.

"Do you think she's going to show?" I asked nervously, which was very out of character for me.

They knew I was talking about by mom; by the way they shifted in their seats.

Logan cleared his throat "Yeah, actually she's here to um talk to you man. Do you want me to go get her?" he asked hesitantly.

I nodded: Logan and Carlos left the room leaving me alone with James. I turned to face him still nervous.

"James, what do you think she'll say?" I asked in a small voice; fidgeting with the collar of my shirt.

"Hmmm, I don't know maybe reasons why you shouldn't marry Jo." he joked, but underneath the humor I could tell he was as just as clueless, as me.

I sighed "Why does she hate Jo, she's so lovable." I asked in defeat.

It was true my mom hated Jo for reason or another.

I just can't believe my mom could even hoarder hate for anyone, but she did and it had to be with the woman I've ever loved.

James shrugged "I don't know dude maybe it's that 'you're not good enough for my little boy' thing." He used air quotes causing me to laugh.

I shook my head. James does know how to get me to laugh.

There was a knock at the door, James and I flinched, as the door opened.

Luckily it was Carlos at the door, I relaxed a little waiting for him to say something.

He pointed to the door and mouthed "She's coming." Then left, James sighed and gently smacked my arm "Good luck bro."

Now I was alone, preparing myself for what my mom would release in our discussion.

I stood my ground when I saw her come in. she was wearing a knee length red dress. I gave her a small smile.

She grimly smiled, crossing her arms slowly across her chest and putting weight on her left leg."Well, I'm here to tell you Kendall I want you to get married to her." She said with disgust.

I flipped out walked straight up to her and asked…no…demanded an answer.

"Why?" I questioned; desperation rang clear in my voice.

She stayed stern and shifted her weight to her other leg.

"I just don't want you too." She answered, as if it were that simple.

I scoffed "No, tell me mom why don't you want me to be happy with Jo." I demanded my voice went up an octave.

She took a step back and looking down at the ground. "I have my reasons Kendall. I am your mother." She said sternly.

"Why?" I shouted I didn't care she was ruining my big day.

Anger was the only emotions in her eyes "Because She's your sister and aunt!" she said quietly.

I was taken aback. "Wha-what?" I was stunned she must be wrong.

"My father is Jo's as well. Now Jo is the reminder of that damn night Kendall. You have to understand why." She sobbed uncontrollably forgetting to keep her composure.

I couldn't comprehend what she was telling me. I lowered myself onto the ground not looking at anything in particular.

I got into a fetal position hugging myself.

"I had to give her up, I couldn't stand see her. She wasn't made out of love like you or Katie. I was…" her voice trailed off not wanting to finish her thought.

She didn't need to I knew what she meant.

I shut my eyes. Rape. It echoed in my mind.

I plugged my ears trying to get it to stop echoing. It did when I shut my eyes tight.

"That's what makes it hard for me to see her." I stated mostly to myself

"Your father didn't want anyone to know that secret of ours." She said ashamed.

Dad knew?

I swallowed hard; I gripped at the carpet trying to find something that was stable.

"Sh-she looks s-so much l-like h-him." Her voice was raw and still with disgust.

I looked at her. The makeup she had on was now running, her eyes a shade of red. I looked at the floor.

She was telling the truth.

I got up, wiped the tears away, and walked to the door; ignoring my mom's desperate cries.

I looked down at my watch "6:00 pm" I heard the car pull up and saw Camille walk out and, then Jo.

She looked beautiful like a snow angel with her rosey cheeks in the cold winter Minnesota weather.

She looked up at the church and breathed a shakey breath.

Logan was waiting there smiling. I saw him whisper Jo something that made her giggle. I cringed at the noise.

I dreaded this moment and I walked up them.

I didn't want to hurt her, but I had to I just can't bring myself to lie to her

Jo was surprised to see me, but still welcomed me with a warm smile.

She was about to reach over to give me a hug when I rejected her.

I saw her smile drop and grow nervous.

There was hurt in her eyes. I swallowed hard and looked at the ground not wanting to look at her anymore.

"Dude, what's wrong?" Logan said grabbing my arm. I shrugged him off.

"The wedding's off." I stated and walked away from them not wanting to explain what was going on.

I heard them cry out my name, but I didn't look back.

I needed to go somewhere I could drown my sorrows.

I just wiped the last tears I was going to shed for my sister and continued walking.

Where?

I don't know, but away from this madness.

I realized now that not only did my mom comment sin, so did I.

Am I going to hell?

A/N: Ok well I got this idea when I saw this soap opera in Spanish with my mom and that's kind of what it was about. I know weird and twisted, but hey that's was gets attention right? Well I just didn't feel like updating the other story I'm working on, but not to worry I'll finish the story before the year ends…maybe c: well I guess review this I'm a bit nervous about this one I'm not sure if its good. Don't be mad at me for having this idea, I read a fanfic on here that's called "Big Time What?" and well it got me thinking so I wrote this. Sorry to all of you Kendall and Jo lovers out there, but its just so weird that they look alike. Haha imagination got the best of me now. Everyone that reads this you HAVE to go check out FirstLadyJonas' stories they are epic! You'll be sorry if you don't heed my warning.