Reason for Breathing, a digimon fanfic

Reason for Breathing Reason for Breathing
by Iris-Rei

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"...My school had a carnival the other day. Everyone showed up, including the new Digidestined. Tai won three plushies at the soccer goal game. He gave one to Sora, one to Matt, and one to Kari. Davis stole Matt and Sora's and offered them to Kari, but she saw through his plan and made him give them back.

I wish you would write back. I know you're busy and all, and I know I've written the addresses on them perfectly, because you sent me an e-mail about the last one. But still, an e-mail isn't quite like a piece of paper you can hold and touch.

Your friend,
Joe."

Jyou Kido gingerly folded up his letter and licked the stamp. He sealed the envelope and left it on his desk to mail out tomorrow morning. He looked at the clock, which told him it was an hour before midnight, not a good time to sleep when there was a biology exam the next day.

He blearily changed into his pajamas and lay on his bed. Even though he was extremely tired and knew he had to sleep, he just couldn't. Instead, he stared at the ceiling.

Joe thought of Mimi. She was the first thing to spring into his mind. He remembered how, years before, he had first seen her as a princess. Her graceful step, her beautiful voice, how she sang at the Gekomon's palace...

He went to sleep dreaming of her.

~*~*~

Whispers..all around him...

Music...filling him up...

A million melodies filled through his head until he was crouched, covering his ears, screaming, "No! No more! The dissonance is filling it all! No!"

And then, there was a sound like a shattering glass. And one song, soothing and gentle, floated around him, through the clutter of sound, simple and pure.

Joe lifted his head, and saw himself, crying at the airport, his fingerprints smudging the window where his love was flying away...

If I cried like a baby would you change your mind?
If I told you you're crazy would you come running back to me?
The harder I try to break away, the more I get lost in yesterday
The man that you know is just a shell, living without your life is hell

Joe turned his head...he had heard this song so long ago, and he saw himself with Mimi, headphones on and listening to some CD--and was it just him, or was Mimi there, behind that vision?

I turn on the radio just to take the hurt away
Another night and I'm missing you
Girl, it's killing me, well

Oh, Mimi...Joe hugged the dream of her, trying not to let go, not ever...he sank his face in her hair, never letting go...

I don't wanna die tonight, but I think I might be going down
'Cause the only one I ever cared about is nowhere to be found
I don't wanna close my eyes 'cause I might not see the light of day
I'm almost out of air
You're my reason for breathing
You're my reason for breathing

"Joe..." Mimi touched his hand, tears spilling down.

I don't wanna go clubbing, I got no one to dance with me
I don't wanna go shopping, I got no one to spend my money on

...vision...lost, wandering at the shopping center, fingering goods he knew Mimi loved, things he would've eagerly given to her...

Spending my time with one glass of wine
Playing solitaire just to ease my mind
Poured one for you, but I drank that too
Anything to kill the pain of losing you

...Memories...

"Mr. Kido, are you listening? Mr. Kido, pay attention if you want to pass this class with a C+ average!"

Face burning, shoving away the letter, the portion sticking out saying "Dear Mimi..."

I turn on the radio just to take the hurt away
Another night and I'm missing you
Girl, it's killing me
I don't wanna die tonight, but I think I might be going down
'Cause the only one I ever cared about is nowhere to be found
I don't wanna close my eyes 'cause I might not see the light of day
I'm almost out of air
You're my reason for breathing
You're my reason for breathing

What if...? Turning and tossing, wondering--what if Mimi left him? She would be perfectly happy in America...

But she would never forget him--would she?

What if she did? What if she had another guy already, and she just--ignoring him? Could he live with himself if he found out?

So I'm reaching out on this distant line
Hoping deep inside your heart's gonna find a reason
To keep me breathing
But I'm lost in this pain and I don't have much time
I'm so tired of walking this same old line
So I'm taking my pride, gonna throw it aside
Please let me breathe girl, I'm sorry

Then...the words he was hoping for.

The Mimi of his dream reached up and touched his face, tears brimming. She smiled and said, "I'd never forget you, Joe Kido."

Joe kept telling himself that this was only a dream, the real Mimi probably wouldn't say that, but he was elated nonetheless.

"You have no idea how long I've been waiting to hear those words," he whispered, and kissed her ears, her nose, everything--he had to, before it all left him.

Then, she starts to pull away, saying, "I need to go..."

Baby girl, don't leave me standing here
I'm barely breathing, girl, I'm running out of air
Baby girl, don't leave me standing here
I'm barely breathing, girl, I'm running out of air

Joe could do nothing as he watched the girl of his dreams leave but cry. "Come back!" he called over and over, but she waved, a plastered smile on her face.

"Don't worry, Joe--! I'll never forget you, never ever..."

"I'll never forget you..."

He woke up again, finding the time only an hour after midnight.

Joe stared at the ceiling, the emptiness washing over him more pronounced then ever. But he felt a little better as he remembered Mimi's last words...

"I won't ever forget you too. I can't," he whispered to the pillow as he turned over, imagining the soft cotton covers was her silky hair...

~*~*~

"Hey Mimi!" Micheal walked over to her desk and a slight frown crossed over his face as he saw her hide a piece of paper she was writing on. Mimi never hid things from him, her boyfriend, not even the notes she and her friends exchanged.

She removed her headphones and said, carefully covering the paper, "Yeah, Micheal? What is it?"

"I was just wondering if you wanted to come with me to get some ice cream after school. You've been studying here forever." He eyed the many crumbled writings scattered across the desk. "Do you really like study hall that much?"

Mimi smiled a bit, a fake smile, and said, "Nah, I have--I mean, my dad. Yeah, he, he has a meeting after school today. A family meeting. Yeah, a family meeting. He wants to discuss my allowance." She grinned. "Parents. They never give you raises."

Micheal raised his eyebrow and started walking away. "Okay...I'll just go with Heather, then." She'll never let Heather go with me alone, he thought to himself, Heather's her archnemesis!

Mimi had already resumed writing again. She answered absentmindedly, "Yeah, sure, whatever."

Much to her relief, Micheal walked out of the class, wondering what had happened to 'his girl.' She replaced the headphones, listening to her new Babyface CD, and started writing again.

Dear Joe...