A/N - Hey there everyone! This is my first attempt at a published story for MLP:FiM. I've done a bit of writing before, but haven't uploaded anything yet, or at least not in a long time. I don't know whether to call this crack or simply a little random. We have a fairly OOC Twilight, nursing an unhealthy obsession with Princess Celestia, while Spike, the "hero" of our little story, does everything in his power to keep Twilight from all but molesting her, much to her anger. Not completely sure where this is going yet, but I've got an idea of what to do. Anyway, onto the preface!

- My Ravishing Beauty Celestia -

Does anybody ever tell you how gorgeous you are? Oh, of course they do, how could they not? I'm sure everywhere you go you have ponies telling you this. That firm, white body and coat of fur! Those svelte legs that stretch for miles! That regal, swan-like neck! Those pink, almost ruby, eyes! That billowy, luscious mane and tail! Those rounded, delicious flanks... Whoa, lost my concentration there for a sec...I swear Princess Celestia, if I weren't your student, and you weren't my mentor, I would have swept you off of your hooves and made sweet, passionate love to every last inch of you a long time ago!

I cannot express just how deeply I desire you! I really can't, somepony would catch onto it and I'd be put in another one of those ghastly holding cells, just like the last time... Anyway, enough about the past. I'm sure you've probably had your fill of me rambling on about the past. Let's talk about the present, or even more importantly, our future... It's too bad that I have to keep these little notes a secret from everypony. Spike found one of them, and we all know how that turned out... I do care about Spike, even love him like a brother, but it is simply not right how he continues to keep me away from you, as I know how much you long for me to return to Canterlot once again, so that you might embrace me with your majestic wings, look deep into my eyes and tell me, "never again will I let you go..." before leading me over to your soft, comfortable bed where we make up for all of that lost time and our pent up urges...Ahhhhh...Oh, darn, I spaced out again didn't I? I've gotta stop doing that. Spike's down there still, cleaning up the library. Wouldn't want to get too distracted and have him spoil the only time I get to confess my true feelings for my one and only alicorn.

I can feel your love even from this remote area of Equestria. I know how much you miss me, and don't you worry your pretty head, because Twilight Sparkle is here to satisfy... In the other letter I sent to you, the one that I used as a decoy because Spike has that awful habit of proofreading everything I send to you now, I have invited you to the library in Ponyville to discuss some of my latest findings in the field of Chemistry...that is...the chemistry that you and I share (wink wink). Of course, Spike is none the wiser, and he thinks it is a legitimate reason. Poor Spike, just doesn't know when to not interfere with the power of our love, am I right?

I'll be waiting for you, my princess... When you get here, I will give you a presentation you'll never forget...(XOXOXO)

Your Longing and Eternally Admiring Student,
Twilight Sparkle

Twilight sighed as she looked her letter over for spelling mistakes and typographical errors, all the while fantasizing about how her eventual reunion with Celestia would pan out. It was something she did with all of her letters, whether she sent them or not. Of course, this one would be tucked in a small corner of the bedroom, away from prying eyes, along with all of the other "secret" letters she had been writing to the princess. No one could find out about it, especially not Spike.

She thought of the few times Spike had discovered one or more of the letters stashed away, especially in the last days they had been in Canterlot. Twilight imagined that there was a possible connection between him finding out about her secret and her getting sent all the way to Ponyville to live, away from her one true love, where she wouldn't be able to get to her.

Twilight felt a tinge of frustration. Spike was typically a good dragon assistant, but Spike hid many of his own secrets from her that he thought she wouldn't find out about. One of those secrets, Twilight learned all too late, was how extremely well developed the dragon mind became within a few short years of life. Their brains were like industrial strength sponges, taking in and retaining the most minute traces of information imaginable. Even though Spike was a baby dragon, and usually acted like a young male would, she could now see that it was a deception on his part. If her calculations were correct, at this stage of his development, he should have the mental capacity of a similarly aged pony to Twilight, maybe even higher than that. It was a little scary, especially when Spike would put on his facade, acting like a ridiculous lunatic at Pinkie Pie's parties, purporting ignorance at many subjects she would study, and even purposefully misspelling words to look even more incompetent. Also even scarier, Spike's "harmless" little boy crush on Rarity wasn't that innocent after all. His hormones and understanding of anatomy, reproduction, and both romantic and sexual love made these otherwise benign feelings into something more akin to lust and infatuation. Twilight almost felt sorry for him, as Rarity was not well versed in dragon development, and treated Spike like he was just another little kid, as if he were Sweetie Belle or her friends. Must've been pretty bad for the little guy.

Who knows, when he's over a thousand years old, he'll be like a god or something...

Unfortunately, this has resulted in many times where Spike would interfere in her finally giving Celestia what she knows she wants, and what she wants...obviously...is Twilight, ready, willing, and reporting for duty, as it were. Twilight rationalized that Celestia had made her her star pupil, not only for her talent in magic, but in her suitability as a possible romantic partner. The logically minded Twilight was not so much on this issue, because she can't really explain why this is, oh, but she knows alright. Twilight simply must have been hoof-crafted by the sun goddess herself, and was put on this planet to fulfill Celestia's every wish and fantasy, oh and Twilight would do so, with earnest.

"What am I doing," Twilight shook her head, the thoughts having clouded it for some time now, "if Spike sees me space out like this, he's going to get suspicious again! Can't be having that now, can we?"

Twilight decided that a cold shower was in order, as her lustful daydreams of servicing her princess in the most lewd ways possible continued to bombard her.

"Well, I won't be able to go down into the library if I'm sweating and panting uncontrollably. That will have to wait until the dragon's asleep..."

A/N - Pretty short, but I didn't really want to go all out with it yet. Hope it has been enjoyed so far!