Disclaimer: Characters and the like do not belong to me.
A/N: Just a short thing I threw together, but I liked how easy it came out, and if some of you are interested in more than I will gladly write more for this.
Sifting Through You.
You hate that she is standing in front of you, acting like nothing had ever happened. Clinging to his arm like a lost hope, and that facts hurts you more than anything else because hope was all that you had left up until the moment she walked in with him. Dashing all that you thought you knew about her, but that's silly isn't it, to presume you knew her. As it were, you are sure that even he does not know her.
Jade doesn't smile and her face doesn't show the same soft lines that just the night before I spent hours studying. My eyes had run a well beaten path by the time the morning light reached through my curtains and reminded us that there was a world out there, reality was waiting. Impaitently. Its hard not to look at her, and even harder to do so. Instead I keep my eyes trained on cat. Her brother seemed to be up to the same old crazy things, but I am not listening well enough to get all of what she is saying. Instead I let my face take on the same look as everyone else.
Andre is the first to notice that I am lost in my own head because he is reaching a soft hand to my arm, his eyes full of concern.
"Everything okay?"
"Never better." I answer knowing that he won't believe me but he'll instead leave it to later when our friends are not around, when Jade's eyes are not fixed on me.
I catch her looking and unlike me she doesn't force her gaze away from mine, doesn't pretend that there isn't something more interesting she should be looking at. I feel my face relax and a smile tug at my lips and this causes her to look away. I wish I hadn't showed anything, I wish I could be like her and hold everything in- because now, she won't even look at me at all.
The day passes much the same way, no direct eye contact if we can help it, and I say we because she looks away whenever I catch her eyes, and the vacant expression jumps in. Trying to erase the memories I've made of the softness her eyes can hold.
When I walk through my door the world seems safe, yet cruel. I refuse to go to my room for most of the evening knowing that everything from last night will war with what happened today. There are two sides of Jade existing in my mind, and there's only one strong enough to win this war of my mind.
"Tori, the phone's for you." I hear mom call from the kitchen and my eyes narrow in confusion. Who would be calling the house phone when I have mys cell phone.
"Hello?" I answer in question.
"I'm sitting in your front yard, come out." Her tone was simple but there was an urgency to it.
"Jade?" I already know that its her.
"No, it's car." She mocks though it doesn't have it's usual bite to it.
"Be right there."
I reach for my sweater and throw it on, pushing all the reason's I shouldn't be go out there from my mind. It doesn't matter
Sliding from the couch I shove my phone into my pocket then tell mom that I will be right back and slip outside, hugging myself against the cold as I make my way to her car. I can see her tapping one hand against the wheel as it rests over it loosely, I can't see the other. Opening the door I get in."
"What do you want, Jade?"
She looks over and the vacancies of earlier seem to have vanished, this is my Jade again. Well not mine really, but the one I remember from last night. The Jade that I would have begged to see today had we been in a different world, one where she wasn't dating one of my best friends, one where she hadn't ridiculed me from the moment we met.
"I missed you" she says simply
"You saw me at school... where you tried very hard not to notice that I was even there." I won't let her away with it.
"You know that's different."
You could have warned me! I want to say it, I want to say that she could be with him if I could have the little of her from last night. I don't.
"What happened shouldn't of. I could hardly look at Beck today."
Her hand finds its way to mine and I don't pull away.
"He's not here now."
"He will be again tomorrow." How am I being so strong and weak in the same moment. What is she doing to me?
"I don't think we .." My words are cut off by the definite lack of space where there had been some. My lips move against hers spiting what my brain is telling them. She's not mine, but I am kissing her like she is.
She pulls away and I'm a little breathless, needy even. "I'm not his right now, Vega."
How does she know what to say? It's like someone else is wanting her, someone else is pushing my lips to hers again. I don't want this, It's not right. Beck has her. I kiss her anyway. I love the feeling of her hands finding places against my side and my neck. She fits.
This is the best kind of hell.
"Lets get out of here." One of us mumble into the mixed breath between us. One of us agrees and suddenly her lips pull away from mine and we are pulling out of my drive way.
There's obviously time that passes between my house and hers, but I don't notice. In a state of wanting to be there so much faster, and not even noticing that any time has passed. Is she driving me crazy?
My back hits her mattress and she's on top of me again, pressing all of her into me and I can hardly handle it. I moan her name and she sucks on my neck, tongue sneaking out to lick the throbbing skin. There will be a mark.
Two hours pass and we belong to each other for that short time. I'm laying with my cheek pressed into her chest, watching the rise and fall of the jutting curve of her breasts, reality came knocking again then.
"This can't happen again." I mumble.
"I want it to."
"Two days ago I knew the girl that hated me, now I see someone else. Jade I can't keel doing this to Beck, or to myself."
"It's been two nights, Vega, don't get weepy on me."
I listen, and push everything I want to say to the back of my mind, because really I don't want to lose this. It's not often you find a hell that you crave.