Disclaimer: I do not own Mario or the Mario characters. But I do own Lemon Wedge. Ha.
Around noon, in the Mario bros. household, which is a nicely sized cottage on the outskirts of the Mushroom Kingdom, the Mario bros. were doing their usual afternoon activities. Luigi was in his chair, reading A million little polka-dots by Default T., and Mario was making his lunch. After he finished making his Mushroom Steak, he sat down on the couch.
"Hey, Luigi." said Mario.
"Yeah?" the green-clad brother asked.
"I was just thinking, it's been a while since we went on vacation…" Mario said.
"Well, what about Isle Delfino?" suggested Luigi.
"No. I hated that trip. They mistook me for a clear blue version of myself. That was really stupid. And besides, you didn't get to go." Mario said.
"Yeah, I guess you're right." Luigi said.
"So, anyway, I was thinking that since Bowser is on a vacation at Mt. Angryface, why shouldn't we go on a vacation?" Mario said.
"To Mt. Angryface?" Luigi inquired.
"No, to Mushroom city." Mario said.
"What? That place is really far off, Mario. Besides, we don't have the money for a plane ticket and a hotel and everything else." Luigi pointed out.
"I don't, but Peach does." Mario said.
"Wait, what are you talking about?" Luigi said. "You're saying that we should bring Peach?"
"No." Mario said.
"Good. Why don't we just go somewhere el-" Luigi was cut off as Mario interrupted him.
"No, as in, i'm inviting more than one person." Mario stated.
"What? How do we get Peach to pay for 4 people?" Luigi asked.
"Who said 4?" Mario questioned.
"Ohhh no Mario…you're not inviting 3 people, are you?" Luigi complained.
"No, I'm inviting 5 people." Mario answered.
"WHAT?!" Luigi exclaimed.
"You heard me. 5 people. If Peach takes Toadsworth, that'd be 6 people." Mario said.
"You can't be serious." Luigi said.
"Indeed I can. And I might even invite that guy…" Mario paused to think of his name.
"No…not…Lemon Wedge?" Luigi asked, desperately hoping he'd say no.
"Yeah. That's the guy. I'll invite him, too." Mario said.
"No. Mario, no. Please, for the love of God, NO." Luigi pleaded.
"What's wrong with him? Sure, he may be a little obsessive, but he's a nice guy." Mario said, getting up to go to the phone.
"'Sure, he may be a little obsessive'," Luigi said in a mocking fashion. "A little? A LITTLE? MARIO, THE GUY CUT OFF OUR HAIR ONE NIGHT AND STOLE OUR CLOTHES! He's a weirdo, that's what he is." Luigi stated.
"Meh. I'm inviting him anyway." Mario said, dialing a number.
Meanwhile, at Peach's castle…
One of the phones starts to ring in Peach's room.
"Who is it now? I keep telling those townspeople, I can't build them a giant hamburger pool! What is their problem? What is a 'hamburger pool', anyway?" Peach complained. She picks up the phone, and says, "Yeah, who is it?"
"Jeez, did you get kidnapped out of the wrong side of bed?" Mario joked over the phone.
"Very funny. What do you want, Mario?" Peach said.
"Well, I was kinda wondering if you wanted to go on a vacation with us…" Mario said.
"Let me guess, to pay for it?" Peach grumbled.
"No, we just wanted you to come with us. You're fun to be arou-" Mario was cut off.
"Can it," Peach said. "I know you just want me to pay for everything. Fine. But you should seriously think about accepting cash rewards when you save people."
"Okay, fine, you got me. And I would take rewards, but Luigi gets on my case about it being 'ignoble', so I can't. He doesn't make dinner if I do. And he's a great cook." Mario said.
"Yeah, yeah. How many people are going?" Peach asked.
"Well, counting you, me, and Luigi, 10." Mario said.
"What? 10? Are you inviting a lesser character, too?" Peach asked.
"Well, no. He's a…fan of ours, so I want to take him along." Mario replied.
"Not Lemon?" Peach complained.
"Yes, Lemon," Mario sighed. "But he's a good guy."
"Did you forget the fact he shaved your mustache and put it in a trophycase labeled 'Mario's 'stache'?" Peach stated.
"Yeah, I forgot. But it grew back in about 3 days, so what do I care?" Mario flatly replied.
"Okay, whatever. So when are we going?" Peach asked, smoothly changing the topic.
"By 3:00 pm, because the flight leaves at 4:30…if you can get the tickets." Mario said, searching for a reply.
"Fine. Which airline?" Peach asked, obviously bored.
"Mushroom Air. We're going to Mushroom City. Seriously, what's with putting 'Mushroom' in everything? It's weird. Anyway, gotta call the others. Thanks again, Peachy." Mario said, hanging up.
Peach sighed. She started to get her suitcase, when Toadsworth bustled in.
"Princess, if I may, I do believe i'll be coming with you on this trip of yours, wot wot?" Toadsworth said.
"Toadsworth, were you listening to my phonecalls again?" Peach asked, obviously having had this happen before.
"Well, I won't let you talk to some stranger, old bean! That would be preposterous!" Toadsworth exclaimed.
"Fine, then. Pack your stuff." Peach said, giving in.
"Righto! I'll just bring my things in here when I'm done packing, then, eh?" Toadsworth said, marching off down the hallway.
Again, Peach sighed. She got her bag out and put it on her bed. Grabbing her on-the-go jewelry box, travel closet, makeup, and Pretty Princess travel kit (toothpaste, shampoo, mouthwash, soap, so on and so forth), she put it all in the bag, zipped it up, and placed it at the end of her bed. Just then, Toadsworth came rushing in with his Smart Suitcase, designed by E. Gadd.
"Well, then, Princess, shall we get a move on?" Toadsworth asked.
"Not until 3:00, Toadsworth." Peach said.
"Ohhh…" Toadsworth replied, crestfallen.
"Don't worry. I'll make you some tea in the meantime." Peach said, trying to cheer him up.
"What now? You'll be doing no such thing, Princess. I'm your caretaker, I'll make you some tea." Toadsworth said, back to his old obsessive self.
"Toadsworth, you'll sit on the sofa, and you'll wait for your tea. You deserve to relax. Now come on." Peach said, taking the lead.
"Okay…" Toadsworth said, grabbing the suitcases and running to the living room.
Meanwhile, at Wario's castle…
"Wario is number one. Wario is number one. Wario is number one." Wario's phone rang in his own recorded ringtone. He looked up from his Motorcycle Magazine and glanced at the caller ID. "Not Mario! What's he callin' for? To rub his new Wii in my face? Just because he's 'Nintendo man', doesn't mean he gets the last reserved Wii!" Wario complained.
Wario picked up the phone. "Yeah? Whaddya want, Mario?" Wario yelled into the phone.
"Jesus, Wario, don't yell." Mario complained over the phone.
"It's my house, my phone. I'll yell if I want to." Wario stated.
"Hey, Mario, you call Fatso yet? He might have eaten the phone!" Luigi said in the background, laughing.
"No, no, he's on the phone." Mario said to Luigi.
"Oh. Crap. Ummm…hi, Wario, heh, heh" Luigi said.
"Shut up, Luigi. Why'd you call, Cherrypants?" Wario asked.
"Well, Bignose, I called to tell you we're going on a vacation, and we wanted to invite you. But now I'm thinking against it…" Mario said.
"It's not a vacation if I have to pay for it." Wario said.
"You're not. Peach is." Mario stated.
"That ditz? Well, okay, only if she's paying for everything…" Wario said.
"She's waaaaaaay smarter than you, fatso. And yes, everything. You have to be at Mushroom Air by 3:00 p.m. if you wanna go, okay?" Mario said.
"I'M NOT FAT! I'm big-boned." Wario shot back.
"Yeah, and Earth exists. So, you comin' or not? And is Waluigi coming, too?" Mario asked.
"Yeah, yeah. I'll get him. Bye, stupidface." Wario said, and promptly hung up before Mario could reply.
"Stupidface? What? That's a dumb insult." Mario said, starting to dial another number.
"Hey, longnose! You wanna come on vacation?" Wario yelled into Waluigi's ear.
"Ow…" Waluigi said, his ear ringing. "Yeah, i'll go, lardbutt. Lemme go pack."
"I'm gonna go pack, too." Wario said, going up the stairs with Waluigi. He bangs open his door and Waluigi walks through. (Waluigi's room is connected to Wario's.) Wario gets out his suitcase, and Waluigi brings his stuff in.
"Okay, lessee...clothes, wallet, garlic, my DS, garlic, some games, garlic, and my other wallet." Wario said, listing off things as he put them in his bag.
"Clothes, wallet, airplane stuff, DS, games, and my Eggplant Snacks™." Waluigi said, also checking off his items.
"Well, let's go, skinnylegs." Wario said.
"Hold on, fatso, we have to wait 'til 3:00, remember? It's only 1:20 right now." Waluigi shot back.
"Right…LET'S GO PLAY SOME PAPER WARIO!" Wario exclaims, grabbing his suitcase and running out the door.
"BUT YOU ALWAYS HOG THE CONTROLLER!" Waluigi exclaimed, grabbing his stuff and running to get ahead of Wario.
Meanwhile, at Sarasaland castle…
Daisy is playing Halo 3 over Xbox live, totally pwning those noobs, when her phone rings. "Hold on, guys. My phone is ringing. Cover me while I'm gone." She said into her headset. She pulls off her headset and answers her cellphone. "Hi, I'm Daisy!" she says.
"Hey, D-d-d-daisy…" Luigi's stutters over the phone. Mario is laughing in the background.
"Hi, Luigi, what's up?" Daisy said, happy that Luigi grew the courage to call her.
"Umm…well, we were g-g-going on a v-v-vacation, and I wanted to kn-n-n-now if you wanted to g-g-g-go…" Luigi stuttered.
"Sure. Where are we going…cutie?" Daisy added, waiting to hear his reaction. She hears a gasp and a thud, and then Mario saying, "Crap…"
"What happened?" Daisy asked.
"Hold on, Luigi fainted. I swear, he gets so nervous around you." Mario said, and she hears slapping sounds. "Argh. Mario? Mario! Mario, stop! I'm awake! Oww! Ow ow ow!!" Luigi yells in the background.
"H…hello? Are you there?" Luigi asks.
Daisy giggled. "Yeah, i'm here." she says.
"Ummm...sorry about fainting...I saw a...uh...ghost. With scary fangs and claws and poison and stuff." Luigi explains desperately.
"Heh. Sure. Well, where are we going?" Daisy asked.
"Guh-going? What?" Luigi said, forgetting what he called about. "OH, RIGHT! Yeah, wanna go to Mushroom City with me, Mario, Peach, Wario, Waluigi, Yoshi, Toad, and...Lemon Wedge?" Luigi said, pronouncing Lemon Wedge like he was barfing it up.
"Sure. Wait, Lemon? Isn't he that guy who stole all your underwe-" Daisy said as she was cut off.
"Yeah, yeah. That guy. Okay, well, go to Mushroom Air at 3:00. I'll...see you th-th-there..." Luigi said, stuttering again.
"Okay." She said, giggling.
After Luigi hung up, she got her bag and got some stuff. "Clothes, wallet, G.I. Joe plane kit (same as Peach's, although not girly), DS, and games. That's everything." She said, and brought her stuff to the front door. "Now then, time to go play Halo 3 again." She said, running up the stairs, swearing to god that she'd kill all of her teammates if they couldn't cover her.
Meanwhile, at Yoshi's house...
Yoshi's phone starts ringing. He gets up from the couch and answers the phone. "Yoshi?"
"Cut the crap, Yoshi. I know you can talk." Mario said.
"Thank god. I'm surprised no one realized I can say more that 'Yoshi'." Yoshi said, conveniently helping the readers follow the story.
"Yeah, anyways, we're going on vacation. Wanna come?" Mario asked.
"Sure. When and where?" Yoshi asked.
"3:00, at Mushroom Air. Hurry your ass up at packing, it's 2:15." Mario said, then hung up.
Yoshi put the phone back and got a Mush-Mart bag, put shoes, toothpaste, a toothbrush, his DS and some games in it, then tied it. "There. Done." Yoshi said, and went back to watching TV.
Meanwhile, at Toad's house...
Toad's phone rings. He doesn't answer it.
Meanwhile, at Mush-Mart...
Toad's cellphone rings. He answers it. "Hello?" Toad asks.
"Where are you, man? I just called your house." Mario said.
"I'm at Mush-Mart. Why?" Toad asked, looking at the bargain paper plates.
"Because we're going on a vacation, and we want you to come. Wanna come?" Mario asked.
"I guess. Where do I go? Your house?" Toad asked distractedly, looking at the barbeque koopa legs.
"No, Mushroom Air. At 3:00. You better get home and pack, or you'll miss it. It takes, like, half an hour to get to the airport from your house. The plane leaves at 4:30. So hurry up!" Mario said, and hung up.
"Okay." Toad said, then realized Mario had hung up. He went to the suitcase area, bought the first one he found, ran to the tiny stuff aisle (things like you take on planes, you know, tiny stuff.), grabbed a bunch of stuff, ran to the counter, paid for his stuff, the put it all in his trunk. He drove home, put the stuff away, jammed some clothes, his DS and some games in his suitcase, then ran back to his car.
Meanwhile, at a building on top of the mountain overlooking the Mushroom Kingdom...
A phone with the Super Mario Bros. theme song rings. Someone answers it. "Hello? Lemon speaking. may I redirect your call to Pizza Hut?" Lemon asked. He's a guy with brown hair, blue eyes, white skin, a little bit of a belly, and his face stuck in a permanent inquisitive look, because one eyebrow is higher than the other on his face. He wears a yellow hat, yellow shirt, and gold pants. His shoes are made out of newspaper.
"Hello, Lemon. It's-a-me!" Mario said.
It took Lemon a few seconds to comprehend who was talking. But once he did he went into overdrive. "Mario? MARIO? The Mario? Famous Mario Mario, Brother Luigi Mario, going steady with Peach? First introduced to the gaming community on the NES in Super Mario bros. Mario? That Mario?" Lemon asked.
"Yeah, that Mario." Mario replied.
"OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODMARIOISCALLINGMETHISISSOAWESOMEIMGOINGTOTELLEVERYONETHEYLLBESOJEALOUSEVERYONEWILLLOVEMECANIHAVEYOURAUTOGRAPHISTILLHAVEYOURMUSTACHEITOOKPICTURESOFPEACHWHILESHEWASSLEEPINGFROMATREEYOURESOAWESOMEOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGO-" Lemon said as he was cut off.
"Yes, yes. Wait, you took pictures of who when she was sleeping?" Mario asked, weirded out now.
"Paris Hilltown. So, what are you calling for?" Lemon asked, dodging Mario's question.
"Well, I wanted to see if you want to go on a vacation with me, my bro, and all the other important characters, so if you're interes-" Mario said as he, too, was cut off.
"Sure, i'd love to go. Saaay...Mushroom Air at 3:00pm? Okay, i'll be there. See you soon!" Lemon said, then hung up.
"Whoa...how did he know where we were going and when?" Mario said to himself, then shook it off.
"Okay, going on a trip." Lemon said as he packed clothes, his wallet, toiletries, his DS, games, his cellphone, and his camera. "Whoa, 2:45. Time to get this stuff in my car and go." he said as he went to the garage.
Meanwhile, at the Mario bros. house...
"Luigi, let's pack now." Mario said as he put the phone back on the hook.
"Okay, I got our stuff out and folded the clothes." Luigi said as Mario walked into their bedroom.
"Okay, let's see...clothes, wallets, toiletries, DS, games, cell phones, actually, I need mine, and my Mario plushie and your Sudoku puzzle book. Okay, I think that's everything." Mario said and grabbed his bag, heading for the garage.
"I don't know why you sleep with that, it's ragged, dirty, and smelly." Luigi complained as he grabbed his suitcase and followed Mario.
Mario got out his keys, Started up their red 2009 Ford with green wheels, and threw their stuff in the backseats. Luigi got in, and they drove onto the main street, turned right, and headed for the airport.