Leia and Han hid away in the secret compartment of the Milennium Falcon where no one could hear them. It was dark and damp; just they way they like it.
"Oh Han what ever shall we do?"
"We shall travel the galaxy and see the sights and stuff like that. Anything for you, Princess."
"Oh Han!"
She kissed him. His breath tasted like garlic and vinegar.
"Blagh! Han use some fucking mouthwash!"
"Hey now toots. I don't have time for things like cleaning my mouth."
She kneed Han in the balls really hard and it felt like he had been kneed by a droid or a cyborg. Han screamed like a little girl. Chewbacca heard what was going on and opened the hatch.
"RAAAGH!"
"Go away you ape this is private!" Leia said in a bitchy voice.
Han reached down and pulled her up by her pants so it was a wedgie.
"OWWWW" she said in pain. The pants ripped and she fell on the floor and it really really hurt. Chewbacca grabbed her and threw her out the window and into science and outer space. He closed the window and that was the end of it.
Han climbed back up and said "Wow thanks Chewbacca that bitch was really getting on my nerves." "RAAAGH" Chewbacca said back.
Then they got a hologram from Leia.
"Hello there boys. I got picked up by a Star Destroyer. I am now a part of the Empire. Say goodbye bitches! HAHAHA"