A/N: Happy Birthday Mello!
I will be trying to do other stuff over the Christmas Holidays, and not just lying around. Honest.
For anyone who doesn't know, in England, or in Bristol at least, there is a widely held belief that the Welsh engage in sexual intercourse with sheep. Why else would they have so many of them? This knowledge is important context.
Are stereotypes not wonderful things?
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, or sheep. I do not intend any offense to the people of Wales. I like Wales, it's more miserable than England, and Dr. Who and Torchwood are filmed there. You also have some wonderful castles.
Nobody ever wondered why Mello spent so much time trying to annoy Near. Most of them figured that the blonde was simply trying to get back at the boy for consistently beating him. It wasn't an unreasonable assumption. Mello loathed Near, and made no secret of it, and as no other explanation was forthcoming, that was the general consensus.
Mello knew otherwise. He let people think what they would, he was pretty sure they'd think the real reason was petty and immature. It kind of was.
To say that Mello showed his emotions wouldn't really cover it. Mello was a veritable outpouring of feeling, and certainly couldn't control his anger, let alone the rest. That was why he kept on at Near. The little white boy was too calm, too quiet, and too collected. He never got angry, he never so much as responded to Mello's taunts and jeers.
Most people would have given up with good grace by now, but not Mello. Mello never gave up on anything, as a matter of occasionally misguided principle. And so it was, that on a cold, rainy, and generally English summer's day, Mello descended the stairs to the common room, to harass Near, who lay in his usual spot on the floor in front of the electric fire. The fire was electric, because Mello had, in a fit of rage, thrown two chairs and a six year old into the fire place. The fire had not been lit at the time.
'Hello, snowball.' Mello kicked the smaller boy in the side.
'Go away.' Near sounded as impassive as ever.
'No.'
'Don't you have studying to do?' Near put down his Optimus Prime figurine, and turned his blank gaze on the blonde.
Mello sneered. 'Confident, aren't you?'
Near said nothing. He just continued staring.
After a few moments of silence, Mello grew bored.
'Why're you so white?' he kicked Near again.
'Come now, Mello. You ought to know this. We covered it in biology class not two weeks ago.' Near looked as though he was putting a great deal of effort in to not rolling his eyes.
'You look like a snowball. Or a cloud.' Mello paused for a moment in contemplation.
'You do realise that this is pointless.' Near spoke as if it was a statement of fact, not a question.
'You look like a sheep.' Mello smirked.
Near turned his head very deliberately away from Mello. There was the sound of teeth grinding together.
'Baa baa white sheep have you any wool…' Mello began to sing, crooning the words as if to a small child.
'Shut up.' Near's voice was as calm as ever.
'Ooh, touched a nerve, did I?' Mello laughed, and began the song again.
'Shut up.' Near's voice had lost its monotony.
Mello carried on singing, a smile spreading like treacle across his face.
'Will you just shut up!' Near jumped to his feet, shouting at Mello, his accent drastically altering. 'Just because my father was Welsh… I'm not part sheep… just shut up.'
The other children on the common room turned to look at Near, expressions of utter confusion on their faces. A few were clearly trying not to laugh.
Mello smiled like a cat that had not only gotten the cream, but had managed to blame it on the neighbourhood stray.
'Whatever you say, sheepie.'
Mello sauntered off, back to his and Matt's room.
'Hey, Matt.' Mello practically skipped through the door.
'What?' Matt didn't turn to look, his attention fixed on the screen in front of him.
'Near's dad was Welsh.'
Matt paused the game, and turned very slowly to look at Mello.
'How…' the redhead was unable to finish the sentence.
'He has an accent, when he gets mad. Probably why he never spoke when he first got here.' the blonde shrugged.
'So… he's definitely Welsh?' Matt's eyes were lit up behind his goggles.
'Definitely.' Mello confirmed, with a nod.
Matt grinned.
'That explains so much.'