Kevin is usually the insecure one between the two of them, but I figured it'd be interesting to show that Gwen has insecurities of her own as well. Nobody's perfect, after all.
Having said that, hope you enjoy! Suggestions for future stories are wanted and welcome.
Her day started like most others; classes in the morning, then lunch with Kevin at the Friedkin University cafeteria.
Unlike most days, however, the happy couple was confronted by a classmate of Gwen's who strongly disliked her because of the fact that she managed to go to college early and that she excelled in all her classes. She often took jabs at her whenever the opportunity arose, but Gwen, wanting to be the bigger person, simply dismissed her as jealous and ignored her rude remarks.
That is, until she had the audacity to track her down on campus to flirt with Kevin. He was quick to put the girl in her place, but it had been more than a few hours since the event and the girl's words echoed in Gwen's mind.
"Why is a cutie like you wasting his time with a bland and boring goody two-shoes like-"
Kevin stopped her mid-sentence and left the scene with Gwen, but the damage was done. The more she thought about it, the more she was reminded of her cousin Sunny's attempts to get under her skin.
"No point in saying anything romantic to Gwen, anyway. She's a boring goody-goody who never does anything fun, right?"
"What do you see in her, Muscles? I mean, she's so goody-goody! Wouldn't you have more fun with a wild girl?"
What bothered Gwen about both Sunny and the other girl's remarks had less to do with the fact that she was being insulted, and more to do with the fact that she was afraid they were right.
No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't shake the feeling that she was doing something wrong with her life and it was eating her up inside. Moments of vulnerability and insecurity were a rarity for her, but she hated having them nonetheless.
She found herself pressing her head against the passenger seat window of Kevin's car, paying unusually close attention to the twinkling stars in the night sky in an effort to distract herself. She normally loved going on late-night car rides with Kevin. It was one of the many things that brought them closer and helped their troubles melt away. Today, her insecurities were clearly intent on ruining things.
"Somethin' on your mind?", asked Kevin, taking note of her silence. Their car rides were, more often than not, filled with silence anyway, but that was because they would be staring into each other's eyes, holding hands or leaning against each other, sometimes all three. Much to his chagrin, right now, they were doing none of those things. In fact, Gwen was intentionally keeping her distance from him. That was not a good sign.
The redhead answered his question with one of her own. "Would you love me more if I were... different?"
Hesitating for a moment, Kevin was wise to choose his next words carefully. "Different how?"
Gwen sat upright, turning away from the window to face him. "Less boring.", she clarified plainly. At this point, Kevin took his eyes off the road to address her out of concern, realizing where this conversation was going. "Oh, no. Please don't tell me you're upset over what that girl said. She was just tryin' to get you riled up."
Gwen crossed her arms close to her chest defensively, her eyes darting to the ground. "Too late. It worked." She paused for a few seconds to give him time to answer her earlier question. "Well?"
He focused on the road in front of him once more, giving her a one-word reply. "No."
"No?" She brought her eyes up from the ground, her brows raised in surprise. Kevin nodded, repeating himself. "No."
"That'd mean I find you boring in the first place, which I don't.", he continued.
Gwen groaned in annoyance. "You know what I meant. You're telling me you wouldn't like me better if, hypothetically, I... I don't know, showed more skin, swore more often and went out partying?"
"Of course not. I know you'd never do stuff like that. I want you to be comfortable with yourself.", he answered truthfully.
"Let's say my feelings are irrelevant in this hypothetical scenario.", she said.
"Still no. One, your feelings will always be relevant to me. Always." Struggling to keep track of both Gwen and the road ahead of him, he spoke in a louder, more exasperated voice. "Two, do you really think I'm that shallow? You know me better than that, Gwen. I know I may seem like it sometimes, but I'm not that type of guy."
Gwen shrank in her seat, now understanding that she might have made a lapse in judgement. "Yeah, you're right. I should've known better than to think of you like that. Just... forget I ever said anything." Pursing her lips, she turned to face the window again, lost in thought.
Kevin sighed, his gaze lingering on her. On most days, he was typically the one in need of consolation, not her. He wasn't very good at being on the other end of these conversations, but he wanted to try anyway. She wasn't about to go down the same rabbit hole of despair he often went down. Not if he could help it.
"I'm... sorry. I shouldn't have shut you down like that.", he mouthed. Neglecting the road, he put a comforting hand on her shoulder, squeezing it affectionately. "C'mon, talk to me. What's botherin' you? You thinkin' about what that girl said? You gotta know that-"
Gwen straightened her posture and faced him with a steely-eyed look. "I'll be okay, I promise." She momentarily dismissed her troubles and forcefully put on a smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.
Kevin withdrew his hand from her shoulder and put it on the steering wheel, shaking his head. He went off-road, pulled over and killed the engine of his car. They seemed to be out of town by now, and there was nothing but desert for miles. "Why are we stopping in the middle of nowhere?"
"You're a bad liar.", he smirked, flipping the light switch above the rearview mirror and illuminating the small space.
Gwen rolled her eyes. "Kevin, I meant what I said. I'll be okay tomorrow."
His mouth curved downwards. "So did I. You don't need to change for me to love you any more than I already do." His expression softened. "Why does that girl's opinion matter to you?"
She bit her lower lip, debating on whether or not to answer his question, and rubbed her arm, her confidence wavering. She fully expected their conversation to reach this point, but she still wondered if she could convince him to drop the subject.
He unbuckled his seatbelt and shuffled closer towards her (as much as the gear stick separating their seats allowed him to, anyway), reaching out to caress the porcelain-smooth skin of her cheeks with his hands. She gasped audibly at his touch, bringing her wandering mind back to the situation at pressnt. She didn't realize she'd spent a good few seconds with her head in the clouds, coming up with excuses to avoid having to talk about her irrational feelings.
Kevin moved a stray strand of hair out of the way of her face, staring into her downcast eyes; less vibrant, less daring than usual. That in itself set off alarms in his head. This wasn't like her at all. "Baby...", he croaked. "What's wrong?"
She let out a soft sigh. He just had to pull out the 'baby' card. He knew the effect the word had on her. Now, she felt compelled to tell him everything. Her lips parted as she was about to speak, then shut again as she thought of a response. "Promise you won't laugh?", she asked apprehensively.
"Hey..." With his hands still firmly on her cheeks, he planted a long, loving kiss on her forehead, calming her nerves. After several seconds of silence, he pulled away and let his hands return to his sides, bearing a warm smile. "'Course not." He made a conscious effort to seem tough in front of everyone else, but in front of Gwen, he was almost a different person; calmer and gentler. That definitely made it less difficult for her to open up.
She inhaled deeply, shutting her eyes. This was stupid. She was being stupid. She knew she was being stupid. Kevin already told her that he loved her for who she was, faults and all. He didn't care about her being so-called boring. So, why did she still feel uneasy?
She finally exhaled and opened her eyes, holding his gaze. "It's not just that girl. I don't think about it often, but the reason- one of the reasons I get jealous whenever other girls flirt with you is because I feel like I'm not as interesting as they are."
"What?!", he exclaimed. Gwen didn't even flinch. He didn't want to say it to her face, but frankly, he thought she was being ridiculous. Alien heritage and superpowers aside, there were plenty of things he found extremely interesting about her!
"It's true." Her tone implied that she was accepting a fate she was doomed to. "I... I'm a textbook nerd, babe. I spend a lot of time studying while other girls my age are out there having fun. I went to college early for crying out loud!" She grumbled, a crease forming on her forehead.
"But you like studying, and you wanted to go to college early! That was your dream!", he reminded her.
"I know that. Sometimes, I don't know, I just..." she trailed off, weighing her word choices. "Feel bad about it?", he guessed. She responded by nodding silently.
"Don't. You said you hated high school. You've been much happier at Friedkin, haven't ya?", he said matter-of-factly.
It was no secret that she didn't have many fond memories of high school. Yes, she was at the top of her class, but she constantly felt out of place. People often used her for personal gain, and when Ben's secret was revealed, they tried to play nice so she could get autographs or pictures from the world-famous hero for them. Had it not been for her best friend Emily, she would have dreaded going to school every day.
Going to college allowed her to spread her wings and be her own person and she loved it. People treated her as something more than just the smartest girl around or Ben 10's cousin. Of course, as with everything else, there were also downsides. Her schedule was extremely packed, which left little time for her to get proper meals and proper sleep most of the time.
"I love Friedkin and I love learning new things, don't get me wrong, but I'm so busy these days that we hardly get to properly spend quality time or have fun together anymore." She heaved a heavy sigh for what felt like the 100th time that night. "I just... I wonder what my life would be like if I were normal; if I weren't so smart or such a goody-goody, or if I didn't have powers. Maybe I wouldn't always have a million things to do." She raised her voice, her tone of self-pity shifting into that of frustration. "Maybe I wouldn't continuously push myself to meet everyone's stupidly high expectations! Maybe people would see me as a real person instead of an energy being or a smart girl!"
She balled her hands into fists, suppressing a grunt. This did not go unnoticed by Kevin, who uncurled them, fitting his fingers into the spaces between hers. He brought one of her hands up to his lips and kissed it, coaxing her into taking a deep breath to keep herself in-check. "Baby, you not bein' normal is what makes you who you are. Your smarts, your goody-goodyness, your powers, your perfectionism, even your flaws, they're all part of why I fell in love with you! Why would I ever want someone normal when I have you?"
A wide smile stretched across his face (any wider and it probably would've hurt) as he spoke in a low, compassionate tone. Only one person could ever make him smile and talk that way. "Oh, and don't feel bad about bein' busy, okay? We've been doin' pretty good even with your crazy schedule! We still get to hang out with each other every day and go on dates every week! And hey, we've gotten so close to each other since we left Bellwood. You helped me get through a lotta stuff and you trusted me enough to tell me all your secrets. Gwen, you've given me way more than I deserve and I can't tell you how grateful I am."
Gwen shifted ever so slightly in her seat in discomfort. "But... we can still get closer, can't we?" Kevin raised an eyebrow at her half-question, half-suggestion, not getting her point. Picking up the change in his facial expression, she swallowed a lump in her throat as she forced out the most difficult sentence she had to say all night, her voice brittle. "You think we're going too slow." She breathed shakily, suddenly feeling cold.
Kevin sat there for a long moment, processing her reply. "Oh, you mean..." His eyes widened in realization. "Oh."
Gwen nodded somberly, clenching her jaw. She pulled her hands away from his, discreetly rubbing her arm as she anxiously awaited his reply.
All things considered, their relationship was relatively slow-paced from the get-go. It took them a few weeks to come to terms with their feelings for each other, then they took a month or two to actually begin dating, after which they felt comfortable enough to show romantic gestures to each other - in private, of course. Ben felt uncomfortable whenever they showed too much PDA around him (though Ben himself wasn't sure if it was because he found it disgusting or if he wished he had what they had) and Gwen's parents (or more specifically, her mother) didn't approve of their relationship, so hanging out or being romantic in front of them was just begging for trouble.
Between those restrictions and the constant alien attacks, they barely found any time to be alone, which, for better or worse, led to Gwen initiating their first kiss aboard Vilgax's ship after Kevin (who, to her secret delight, was half-naked) was rid of the mutation that had been plaguing him at the time. After that, they made an effort to at least try to find time to be alone, which they did.
Much to their disappointment, they never got very far. They hugged and kissed a lot, sure, but that was about it. There was always a chance that someone could walk in on them, or it was a school night, or, what was more likely, some lunatic was attacking the city again and they would have to rush to Ben's side to help him out.
All that changed once they left Bellwood. Nobody could interrupt them. Not Ben, not their parents, not their roommates (of which they had none), nor would there be alien attacks. They could finally be alone to do whatever they wanted.
On a lazy day just short of a month after they moved away, one thing led to another and they found themselves in a particularly passionate wrestling of tongues; the first of what would later become many. Things were building up to something that day, and they were both oblivious to the fact that they were heading to a point they from which they could never return.
It wasn't until Kevin almost lifted Gwen's shirt past her stomach that she snapped herself out of the haze of euphoria clouding her mind and pulled her shirt firmly over her previously-exposed skin. She stayed in position for a few seconds as she then realized that they had never talked about boundaries. Her heart hammered in her chest as she uttered two words that drained the color from Kevin's face.
"We can't."
What ensued was a rather awkward talk about why she wanted to wait until they were married before taking their relationship to the next level, in a physical sense, followed shortly after by the two of them setting proper boundaries to prevent similar situations from happening again. Although the event had been etched into their minds, neither of them dared to speak of it since it happened.
That is, until now.
Gwen blinked back tears as Kevin struggled to come up with an answer. Unable to cope with the tension, she turned her body towards the door and unbuckled her seatbelt. "I need to...", she choked, trembling. "I need t-to step out for some air."
Before she could open the door, Kevin's hand clamped over her shoulder. "Wait." Gwen wiped her tears away, turning around to face him once more.
"I need to say somethin'." He removed his hand from her shoulder. "Look, I'd be lyin' if I said I never once thought about all the stuff that happened that day."
She opened her mouth to speak, but Kevin spoke over her. "And before you say 'I knew it', it ain't what you think." She pressed her lips together, giving him permission to continue. "Yeah, I was disappointed at first, but not in you. I thought it had to do with me. I thought you didn't like me enough. Maybe you were havin' doubts about us."
Gwen's voice was wobbly. "N-No, Kevin, I would never-" He stopped her by swiftly planting a kiss on her cheek, slightly damp with the tears running down them. "Don't worry. The more I really thought about it, the more I realized that it's actually the opposite. The fact that you wanna wait to marry me before uh... whatever-ing with me proves that you're sure that you want to spend your life with me, and I already know I wanna spend mine with you. We're young, we got time. We don't need to rush into anything, y'know?"
"A-Are you sure you're okay with it?", she asked hesitantly. He shook 'yes' with confidence, smiling. "Better."
"Better?"
"Yeah. I, heh..." He rubbed the back of his head. "I like the way things are now, and I wanna wait too.", he finished. His words didn't have the effect he hoped they would, as more tears started to well up in Gwen's eyes. His smile quickly faded, panic taking over him. "What did I s-"
"Nothing, Kevin." She laughed tremulously. "I almost thought you- we-" She shook her head. "I'm okay, babe. These are happy tears." Kevin breathed a sigh of relief. "Well, in that case..."
Holding her hips, he lifted her off her seat and placed her on his lap in such a way that she was now straddling him. Brushing his thumb over her cheek, he wiped some of her tears away. She looked at him with a tender grin, and the fire he dearly missed had returned to her eyes. He didn't want to waste anymore time.
Cupping her cheeks, he pressed his lips energetically against hers. Her smile widened upon contact, her hands tangled in his black locks. There was something about having their lips merged that made it near impossible for either of them to get enough.
Her eyes still closed, Gwen reluctantly pulled away for air, keeping her forehead against Kevin's and pressing her body square against his. For a few seconds, the only sound that filled the car was that of their steady breathing.
"You feelin' better?", he asked, opening his eyes. She did the same, kissing him on the nose. "Mostly." A flush crept up her face. "Sorry I was being such a, well, doofus. I don't know why I freaked out. I was being really stupid."
He rested his hands around her waist. "Hey, hey, you're always tellin' me I should express my feelings more often. You should do the same. Don't feel bad 'bout bein' you, okay? You don't need to change to fit other people's standards. You be you. If people care about you, they'll accept you for it. I know I do."
"Thank you, Kevin." Her smile grew. "Not just for the advice, but for listening to me say all that stuff earlier. I know I'm not perfect. You're an angel for putting up with my irrationalities. I say this a lot, but I mean it every single time. I love you."
"Don't mention it. I love you too and I wanna help you, which is why I have more advice, but..." His eyes darted to the side. "I'm not sure if you'd actually listen."
She gave him a peck on the lips, then looped her arms around his neck. "Babe, I trust you. If you think something might help me, I'm willing to give it a chance. After all, you'd do the same for me."
As soon as his eyes returned to meet hers, he didn't beat around the bush. "Take the next semester off." Gwen chuckled. "For a second there, I thought you were..." She trailed off as she noticed that Kevin's expression didn't change. "You're being serious?"
"Remember what you told Ben before we left? You wanted to see some of-"
"Some of what I'd been saving." She finished his sentence.
"We've been away for a while now, and you're bitin' off more than you can chew. You've been really busy, and I know you don't really get the time to eat, sleep, or kick back and relax. Takin' the next semester off is the perfect way to do all of that."
"Bu- Hm- I-" Her shoulders slumped. "You... You have a point, but I don't know. It's tempting, but it feels like a risky move. My mom might not-"
Kevin twirled a strand of her hair between his fingers. "Baby, you gotta start thinkin' about yourself instead of other people. A break could do you a lotta good, plus you deserve it! If you wanna continue on normally, I ain't stoppin' you, but if you feel like you could use a break, don't let anyone get in the way of that."
"I need a break, more than anything.", she admitted.
"See?", Kevin simpered, wishing he had thought of this a long time ago.
Gwen caved, half-reluctant and half-glad. "Okay, fine, I'll... I'll think about it, but you'll have to do me a favor if I go through with it."
"Anythin' for you, Gwen.", he replied warmly.
"Take a break from work. I don't want to have any fun if you're not by my side to enjoy it with me."
"Done."
She clapped. "Okay, that's good. This is... good. I think I need to go home and really think about this." She climbed over the gear stick and returned to her seat, buckling her seatbelt. "We should head back, anyway. It's late."
Kevin strapped himself in and started the engine. "No."
Were they doing that song and dance again? "No?"
"We're gettin' ice-cream. You're goin' to sleep happy tonight." Gwen blushed, stifling a laugh. "You spoil me."
"Yeah, it's kinda my job."