A/N: Well, you clicked on it. Might as well get the pure crack out of the way now that you gave me a hit, huh? :D
The Unexpected Bend
The casting (and costuming) of Beauty and the Beast: Soul Eater Edition is as follows:
Belle: Maka Albarn
Beast: Soul Eater Evans
Gaston: Black Star
Miss Potts: Nakatsukasa Tsubaki
Chip: Patti Thompson
Lumiere: Death the Kid
Cogsworth: Liz Thompson
We join our heroes in the middle of a very high-stress scene. The rain is pouring outside, so to speak. The casting is low-budget, and, therefore, the rain is a record player in the background of a dimly-lit castle wall. Gaston has recently gathered a group of villagers from Belle's hometown to invade Beast's castle and reclaim his beautiful heroine to marry her, as he claimed he would. The heroes take a respite from the action to review the script:
Soul: Dude. Me and Black Star are not fighting over Maka.
Black Star: (adjusts his black wig) Yeah! Maka's totally Soul's meister. We tried that one once, remember, Soul?
Maka: (continues reading her book, despite the fake rain)
Soul: At least we know who's part she's playing.
Black Star: And what's up with this? Why does Maka get to be the star of this!?
[there is a pause, from the background, laughter can be heard]
Tsubaki: (calling from behind the backdrop) Black Star! The main part is a female's!
Patti: (comes onto the scene, dressed as Chip) Kyahahahah~ Black Star's a girly-girl~
Black Star: I am not a gir-
Kid: Patti! (groans) Now you've ruined all of it! (comes onto stage) SEE. LOOK. WHERE. YOU. ARE. STANDING.
Liz: Patti, move to your left a bit so Maka is the same distance from Soul as you are.
Maka: (still reading)
Soul: (groans)
Black Star: I still don't understand this casting! Who did this?! Why do I want to marry Maka!?
Liz: (sighing) It's because she's the heroine in a love story, right, Tsubaki?
Tsubaki: (finally comes out from behind the fake wall) Yes, exactly. That's how the fairy tale is written, Black Star.
Black Star: (moves away from the rest of the cast and huffs a bit)
Kid: NO. NONONONONONONO. (collapses on the ground moaning)
Liz & Patti: Kid?
Liz: (glances at Black Star, then at her fallen meister) He blew out the left candle.
Patti: Kyahaha~
Maka: (sighs, shuts her book)
Soul: Joining us?
Kid: -TRASHY BEING. I CAN'T EVEN BE AN ACTOR RIGHT-
Maka: (raises an eyebrow)
Soul: (shrugs)
Black Star: Seriously?! Can't we make it so a guy can play the main part of this?!
Maka: Be my guest, Black Star. Belle's part is open if you want it.
Black Star: (manly stance) KYAHAHA. I KNEW A STAR LIKE ME COULD LAND THE MAIN PART!
Tsubaki: (sighs, sweatdrops)
Soul: Congratulations, Black Star! (slow motion run towards Black Star, sparkles fly)
Patti: (drops the pink background into place)
Black Star: YAHOOOOOOOOO! (slow motion run towards Soul, more sparkles)
Liz: (sighing, plugs in the blinking lights)
Maka: (stares, having second thoughts on her partner's sexuality)
Tsubaki: (stares… just stares)
Maka: (takes a glance at Kid who is a puddle of wax on the ground) Tsubaki? Let's go study.
A/N: I blame lack of sleep. And crack ideas. And hilarious friends who inspire crack ideas. And my boredom. For people who don't get the title, here are the lyrics:
"Tale as old as time
True as it can be
Barely even friends
Then somebody bends
Unexpectedly
Just a little change
Small to say the least
Both a little scared
Neither one prepared
Beauty and the Beast"
-Beauty and the Beast
And this was definitely written in half an hour. XD I hope you all at least laughed a little.