A/N: Entry for Fictober 2018, day 3.
Prompt: "How can I trust you?"
Kit Snicket knew she was a wanted woman, and that many powerful people would pay to have her killed. That was a risk that came with her occupation, and one that never held her back from doing what she believed was right. But contrary to popular belief, she didn't enjoy the danger itself, she simply accepted it. Actually, sometimes she felt like she was getting too old for it all. It happened often recently. She found herself wishing to spend some peaceful time with her partner and forget about the treacherous world outside their safe library, even if just for a little. Unfortunately, it wasn't that simple. She didn't have a choice in this matter.
She was reminded of it as she stepped out of the elevator into the main lobby of the Hotel Dénouement. The Hotel itself was one of the safest places she knew in the world, but it was not completely safe, as no place can be. She spent a lot of time there, not only because of its safety but also because it was the permanent residence of her partner, and she knew of many of its secrets. All of it was a secret, really: their partnership, the existence of her partner itself, the true purpose of the Hotel, and the schedule of her visits, chosen following a code that used a poem she and her partner loved a lot, and that always started late at night and ended far too early in the morning. Yet, somehow someone must have found out, because this morning the lobby was full of Kit's enemies, and they seemed to have a purpose in being there.
It was hard to believe that it could be a coincidence that all those policemen, corrupted policemen that had close ties with certain firestarters, were there at such an hour.
Kit hid behind a huge vase, and tried to think of what could be used as a last minute disguise so she could make her way out without being noticed by them. There was always the option of staying inside until they were gone, but it was not safe for her partner for her to go after him out of the scheduled times, and she knew of worse people who were frequent guests in the Hotel and that could be anywhere around. She weighed her options, trying to look for the one with fewer risks.
"Do you need a hand?" A voice suddenly asked. She looked up to see a tall man standing in front of her, wearing a manager uniform.
Kit was very good at telling the Dénouement brothers apart, and she soon knew the one in front of her was not someone who would help her.
"They will find you if you stay here," Ernest added. "And you know they don't intend to take you to prison."
Kit rolled her eyes.
"Yes, I am aware."
Ernest reached out his hand to her.
"I know a place where you can hide."
Kit frowned. She knew his tricks very well, but this was a new one. Or maybe he genuinely wanted to help, but that was very unlikely.
"How can I trust you?"
"You are carrying my nephew or niece in your womb." He replied bluntly.
Kit's eyes widened. No one was supposed to know that, except for her and Dewey. The last thing she needed was for her enemies to find out about the baby.
"So, do you want to get caught, Snicket?"
Reluctant, she took his hand, and let him led her to wherever place he had in mind. Ernest took her to a staff-only room, and there he opened a secret trapdoor. Of course, the emergency tunnel. Those were barely used anymore, so they should be safe. Still, Kit hesitated in going down there. The idea of being all alone in there was very unpleasant. But it was better than being caught by one of the policemen or meeting a firestarter.
She was surprised when Ernest followed her, before closing the trapdoor over them. It was dark, but the tunnel was narrow and she was very aware of how near they stood to each other.
"Why are you helping me?" She asked.
"I said it already. You are carrying my nephew or niece."
"You've never liked me."
"I still don't like you." He said. He produced a weak light from an old flashlight and pointed it in Kit's direction. Her eyes hurt for a moment from the sudden change. "I don't think I will ever like you."
"Then why?"
"Are you not listening? The baby. Dewey's baby."
"You don't like Dewey either."
Ernest sighed loudly.
"See, that's why I don't like people like you. I do not believe that I have to automatically hate my brothers because of what they do in their spare time."
"You constantly put both of them and everything they work for in danger with your tricks and betrayal." Kit said, raising her voice.
"When have I ever put my brothers in danger?" Ernest asked back, sounding so sure and harsh that Kit couldn't not think twice about her words. "You can't separate the things, can you? For you, everyone who doesn't follow the organization blindly is absolute evil, right?"
"Many people do not follow the organization blindly. But you… you help criminals! You are not a rebel, you are a firestarter just like them!"
"You seem to be under the impression that I care about how you label me, Snicket." He answered, playing with the flashlight.
"You are the one who is suddenly trying to pose as a g-" Kit caught herself before finishing it, knowing that he would easily use her words against her. It was too late.
"A good guy?" He raised an eyebrow. "Surely, I can never do anything without any ulterior reasons. What a Snicket way to think."
"You never gave me any reason to believe there is any good in you. If it wasn't for the baby, you would have delivered me to them yourself."
"Yes, I would." He threw the flashlight in the air and caught it back in his hands. "You know why?"
Kit was about to say "because you hate me", but she realized how silly it sounded. There were many other possible reasons she could think of, but instead of trying to list them, she just moved her head to indicate she wanted to hear it from him.
"Because you are a volunteer. All you people do is ruin lives and mislead others. I want to see your organization burn." He said the last sentence slowly, each word sending a new shiver to Kit. She knew Ernest was doing it on purpose, choosing words that would hurt her.
"And what your associates do is…?" She asked, voice dripping in sarcasm. She didn't feel like she had to list all the ways in which the firestarters ruined lives and misled others.
"Don't throw that at me, Snicket." He said, harshly. "We are all the same shit, everyone marked with this damn eye. The only difference is that you and your noble volunteers want to keep this going."
"The difference is that we want to do better!" She exclaimed, indignant that he wanted to compare their sides. Sure, she knew VFD had done horrible things, that she had done horrible things herself, but they had a cause. Firestarters only acted out of selfishness, to satisfy their own greed or desire for revenge. "Do you think we don't see our mistakes? Our parents' mistakes? But we are trying to fix them! We are trying to make things better."
"Things will never be better while VFD exists."
Kit felt stunned for a moment. She wanted to argue against it, to say that VFD made things better, but even for her, that seemed too much.
"That must be nice. Blaming everything in the organization. Pretending you have no responsibility in it." She said instead. Didn't he say it himself, that they were all the same shit?
"I have never started a fire. Or murdered a person."
That was, as far as Kit had heard, true. Strangely enough. In the low light, she could see a glint of satisfaction in Ernest's eyes, because they both knew Kit could not say the same about herself.
"But you have assisted in such crimes and countless others. And what for?" Kit pointed. He certainly had participated in much more sinister schemes than her, even if his participation in each of them was small. And she could say proudly that everything she did, even the less noble acts, even the mistakes, she did because she believed it to be for the greater good. Did people like Ernest even believe in anything?
"For my brothers." He answered without hesitating.
"You think you are helping them by going against them? What sort of logic is that?" She asked, genuinely confused.
Ernest looked to the side and sighed.
"You and your brothers always had it very easy, Snicket." He said, slowly raising his eyes to meet hers. It was probably one of the weirdest sentences Kit ever heard directed at her (losing only to when a clerk said she was a "lucky lady" after she won a small prize in a contest), but he said it in a very serious tone. "You travel from one place to another all the time. If things get ugly, you fake a death, get a new disguise, start over. We don't do this. We always stay in the same place. Everyone knows who we are." He shook his head. "Why do you think this Hotel is so safe? What other volunteer location do you know of that can last so long without going up in flames these days?"
Kit frowned at him, hating the implication in his words. Hating how much sense it made.
"We are easy targets. It would be much easier if Frank and Dewey didn't still believe in all the crap VFD tells them. Maybe we could move, get away from all this mess. But they are too stubborn. So I take whatever deal I need to keep them safe. If it hits this damn organization, then all the better. Don't look at me like this, Snicket. Wouldn't you do the same for your brothers?"
"No, I wouldn't." Kit said, shaking her head. She felt her chest ache as she said it. "There are many things I would do to protect them, but I would not do it at the cost of someone else's life."
"Then I feel bad for your baby." Ernest shrugged. "The train is coming, and someone will die whether you pull the lever or not. Will you let it be someone you love just so you won't feel your hands dirty?" He looked at his watch. "They should be gone by now. It's safe for you to leave."
Kit considered his words as they made their way back to the hotel lobby. She thought of the people she cared about and of all the dangers they faced daily. She thought of her baby, of what world they would live in, and of what sort of example she wanted to give them.
"Ernest." She called before he left her in the lobby. The policemen had indeed left. How did he know it, was a mystery she didn't want to find out yet. "You are just forgetting one thing."
"What would it be?" He asked.
"Your associates are not a train. They can be stopped. And they will. They will pay for their crimes one day."
"What about you and your associates? Will you pay for your crimes as well?"
"We are already paying."