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Inexorable, irresistible,
thy humble servant bows
upon the earth, in morning dew,
my heart upon the ground.
Grant me strength to seek thee
in these troubled times now.
Morning and evening
have I uttered this my vow:
all my days will I serve thee,
the length of days thou will allow.

Exalted, marvellous one,
faithful has thy servant been.
From my youth, my worship
has been steadfast, keen.
How can I keep silent
when thy name is blasphemed?
Why dost thou not strike
their lying lips obscene?
Among the faithless and false,
I swear devotion pure and clean!

O, thou most mighty,
thy lowly servant asks:
wilt thou not show thy face –
not thy temple's golden mask,
but thy true and terrible visage –
so in your greatness I may bask?
What knowledge, what virtue,
what sacrifice do I lack?
Whatever the price, for this wonder,
I will gladly conquer any task!

Thou great and terrible one,
what fear strikes my heart!
For they have called thee here –
who in thee have no part –
in their arrogance called on thee,
heedless of all thou art!
Too late they see their work,
this course they had set to chart.
Surely, thou hast come to judge
and now will not depart.

O, thou that I serve with fear,
even through my great dread,
I cannot help but wonder
if I am now called to tread
this fearsome path before me
to fulfill the oath I've said.
I know thou art here indeed,
how ever others are misled.
I desire only to see thy face,
even if thou wouldst strike me dead.

King of gods, god of kings,
thy servant now draws nigh
to thy presence beyond this door!
What will I see? What will I find?
Will I meet thee just within,
or find thee enthroned on high?
My heart trembles, my knees shake!
Though I were a thousand times to die,
to see thy face for but a moment
would ease my soul's only cry.

By the gods! Where am I?
I expected a cavern dark,
but here stand I in sunlight,
flanked by trees and larks!
Blind stumbling, I had thought,
till the end of my journey's arc;
but the end I've reached, it seems,
for this contrast is too stark.
Yet, I see thee not; I still must seek,
through thy land I must embark!

Lo! This glory come to meet me!
This Lion with golden mane,
great in size and light of foot,
with bright eyes of flame,
terrible above all other terrors,
and beauty to put all else to shame.
I knew at once Who He was
and fell at His feet as though lame:
surely He knew I served another
and not His great name.

Lord, Glorious One, alas!
I am no child of Thine!
I have served another master
of a very different kind.
I have supped at his table
and drunk of his wine.
I knew Thee not – yea, hated Thee –,
o, He that brightly shines;
Thou art worthy of all honour
and yet had none of mine.

Great Lion and Lord of all,
how dost Thou not see
that to find my own god
was my daily earnest plea?
How canst Thou welcome me,
who has never bent my knee?
Then spoke the Glorious One,
"Unless thy desire had been for Me,
thou wouldst not have sought
so long and so truly."

Marvel of wondrous marvels!
"Beloved" I was to Him!
I, who was but as a dog
and slave to my own sin,
He made freer than free.
Flowing over my cup's brim
is my joy in having found
my heart's desire in Him.
Now I find ever more as I go
further up and further in.

Nabeel Qureshi (1983-2017), author of "Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus" and now finding more as he ventures further up and further in for all eternity.

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