"Whose ringing it this time?" Hannah sarcastically remarks as we walk into the church, a church that seems to only be welcome to us when we are putting a body in the ground. We walk up to the front of the church to look for a seat as Spencer walks towards us. She looks like she is in a daze, her whole family does.
"Hey," we all say. We exchange pleasantries, trying to make her smile a little, but when she looks at her sister any chance of getting her to feel better are lost.
"What are the cops doing here?" Emily asks, we all turn to watch Rosewood's finest walk in the doors and spread out. No matter what oath they took, none of them make the four of us feel safe, and none of them trust our word.
"Um, my parents wanted them here in case any uninvited guests showed up." Spencer answers, though unwillingly. Hannah makes another sarcastic remark, that doesn't help the tension building around us, so Spencer goes and sits with her family, Emily follows her over, and Hannah and I look around for a seat for her, Emily, and I.
I turn around as Hannah takes a seat in the front row, about to say something to my parents when I see Ezra walk in the door. We had agreed earlier today at Hollis that we would begin taking steps towards telling people about our relationship, something I have been needing to do for a long time but he has put off. Now with his Ex- Fiancé in town, I need reassurance that he is in this for the long run. I need to know that he is willing to go through anything people put in front of us when we come out, because if he wants me to wait until I'm graduated, I don't think I can.
He sees me watching him, and smiles that adoring smile that I love. He begins walking up towards me, making my heart race at the thought of us being able to sit next to each other in public, of being able to be comforted by my boyfriend on a day like today.
"Ezra," My mom steps in front of him, my dad standing next to her. My smile immediately drops and his turns fake, straining to cover his surprise. "I didn't know you were coming to this."
"Uh, I didn't plan on it," he leans forward and shakes my father's hand. "but after speaking with Aria," He glances at me and I smile, being reassuring and preparing to come up and talk along with him, our plan being to act as friends first and then tell people we became a couple after he left my school. He turns away from me. "and um," My smile drops, and I have to support myself on the church bench as I hear his lies fall from his mouth. "show my support for all the students for coming. Not only for Spencer, but for all the students effected by the tragedies of this past year." My parents nod along to what he is saying, buying every one of his lies to cover up our relationship, to cover up me.
"Well, I'm sure the kids really appreciate it, come sit with us." My dad makes room for my boyfriend, who glances at me, before looking down in shame as I turn around. That was as much effort as he was willing to give, one stutter before the storm of lies.
The ceremony was simple, there isn't much a preacher can say about a murderer, and before long we were at the graveyard, and Alison's killer was being put six feet under. Melissa and Mrs. Hastings couldn't throw the dirt on his casket, Melissa was still in shock and hadn't spoken, and Mrs. Hastings was too busy hating Ian for everything he had done and supporting her oldest daughter, leaving her younger daughter and us to throw dirt on the casket of our best friend's murderer. How nice.
Spencer is the first to throw, then Hannah, Emily, and I. No one says anything and we immediately start wiping of the remains of the dirt, trying to rid ourself of Ian and gain closure. While I'm clapping the dirt off my hands, I look over the heads of people in this small crowd and spot a familiar blonde head sitting alone and not wearing black.
Jason Dilaurentis, my brother's catcher and my best friend's brother, was sitting a few feet away from the ceremony, out of notice but still listening to the music and creak of metal as his old best friend and sister's killer gets buried. As the ceremony ends and everyone disperses, I can't keep my eyes away from him, wondering what he is doing over there, and what he is thinking. Emily walks up to me as I'm watching him and asks me about Ezra, before, my heart would race when they asked me about him, excited to talk about my boyfriend with someone who understood. Now I don't even understand.
"Just waiting for my parents," I answer, looking at her for a moment before going back to Jason.
"Whose he waiting for?"
"I don't know, maybe he came here for the same reason we did," I speak my thoughts, still trying to rationalize his presence.
"To spit on Ian's grave?" She jokes, making me wonder if she will when everyone leaves
I chuckle, "To get closure,"
"Well, I still think he's creepy, even if he wasn't hiding Ian in his house. The guy is a freak and he always has been." Emily voices the whole town's thoughts on Jason, but I still can't help but want to go over there and make sure he is okay. "I'm gonna go," she says when I don't agree. "Tell your parents I say goodbye."
When she leaves, I look around, and start walking towards Jason. "Aria, can I talk to you?" Ezra calls, reaching out for my arm.
"Yeah, can I round up the rest of the student body so you can address us as a group?" I ask bitterly, holding in a glare as I wait for the excuses to start.
"Look I really did come here to see you, to take the next step, but it just wasn't the right time." He explains, I narrow my eyes at him.
"Well do you know when the right time will be? Next year? When I graduate? When I'm in college? Do you think waiting until then will make it easier to tell people we have been lying to them all this time? Do you think it will make waiting any easier on me? We keep talking about slowly moving forward and dipping our toes in the pool-"
"Aria telling your parents is not toe dipping, it's a cannon ball." He talks to me like I'm a child not understanding his reasoning for hiding me.
I have to give in with what he is saying though, because it makes sense, he could go to jail with what we are doing, so I make a joke about it, which he laughs at.
"I know this isn't anyone's fault, but that doesn't change the fact that I really needed a hug from you today. Not back at your apartment, or later at Hollis, but here, right now." I confess, feeling my eyes water and my chest tighten, the weight of the last few weeks hitting me. Yet he looks away from me and towards the rest of the people, my family, my friends, his colleagues. He looks towards them to avoid my eyes as I dry them.
"I'll call you later." He says, walking away from me, not trying to make any effort. Never making that effort for me.
I turn away from his retreating body and look to Jason, still staring at the gravestones. I make my way towards him, walking away from my family and Ezra. "Hey," Jason looks up at me, squinting in the sunlight, when he sees who approached him, he looks relieved.
"Hey."
"Thanks again for helping my brother out," I say, trying to make conversation on the one thing we have talked to each other about. He nods but says nothing. "Why are you so willing to give my brother a free pass?"
"I don't know," He sits up straighter and moves over when he realizes I'm not just here to give condolences he doesn't want. "Maybe it's because Ali use to threaten to turn me in all the time." I sit down in the space next to him and tilt my head down a little as he looks at the ground.
"Did she ever?" He turns his head to the side too, looking me in the eye.
"Ali was too smart for that, even as a kid. She was fearless when she needed to be. I was always jealous of that, of her. I guess that's why my parents can't even look at me anymore. They know they lost the wrong kid." His words hit me in the stomach, and I grab his hand out of sister instinct and look him in the eye.
"Don't say that." I tell him, not wanting anyone to feel like their parents hated them. He looks down and sniffs. I release his hand, but continue to look at him as he avoids my gaze. "Look, um. Maybe you coming here to day was a mistake?" I ask, trying to give him some help.
"No, just the opposite actually." He finally looks at me and gives me the look Emily and the rest of the town were scared of, the look of someone who is lost but no one will help him get found. "You don't know how good it feels to know it wasn't me." His words, shock me, and he can tell. "I don't remember a thing from the night Ali died. I blacked out and woke up the next morning with a wicked hangover and-" He stops and looks at me, hesitating to tell me more. I look back at him, trying to decipher his thoughts while he does the same to me, looking for judgement in my eyes that he won't find. "And this." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a slip of paper, handing it to me without anymore hesitation. I open it up and read "I know what you did," My immediate reaction to look for A's signature.
"Who gave you this?" I urgently ask, preparing for the answer I already know. "What does this mean?" I ask when he doesn't answer.
"I don't know, but it almost destroyed me," He admits and I realize why he lefts Rosewood right away, why he is so closed off and why he demanded Spencer to tell him Ian confessed.
"You thought you killed her?" I ask, sympathy lacing my tone as I realize the type of stress and pain he must have been going through since his sister went missing.
"Like I said, I don't remember anything from that night, I was jealous, and when I got loaded I got angry. But Ian's confession has changed everything. He did it, not me." He looks up at me, wanting me to understand him, for someone to understand him.
"I would have never believed you did it, no matter what influence you were under. We all knew you loved Ali no matter what you to did to each other."
He nods, grateful for my words. He stands up and looks around, most of the guests were gone by now, including my parents, friends, and boyfriend. "Do you need a ride?"
"No I can walk, thank you."
"Are you sure?" He asks, offering me a hand like a gentleman, his dark green eyes staring into my brown. I smile and nod.
"Thank you," I say as we head towards his car.
"I wouldn't want to walk alone in a graveyard, even if it is the middle of the day."
"Rosewood's ghosts are creepy." I comment. "I hope Ian's stays in the ground." He nods but says nothing, opening the passenger door for me. I stop before sitting down, turning towards him. "I know Ian was a lot of things to a lot of people, but he was once your close friend and I'm sorry that side of him died along with the bad side." Jason gives a gracious smile.
"Thank you, I'm glad you and the rest of the power puffs came, despite how hard it is for you four also." He places a hand on my shoulder and squeezes.
"We're getting through it, we help each other along with our families."
"A good support system has always been something I've lacked," Jason admits, rubbing his neck and looking away from me. Without giving myself a chance to back down, I get rid of the space between us and wrap my arms around his torso. I can feel him stiffen immediately, and doesn't relax until I've released him.
"I know how that can feel, and I'm not too many blocks away if you need something besides dropping my brother off." He nods, a small smile playing on his lips as he realizes I gave him a hug to comfort him. I duck into the car and close the door to hide my red face. I take the few seconds as he walks around the car to rid the blush on my cheeks and reorganize my thoughts, I didn't regret hugging him, someone was going to get one today, but it shocked both of us.
The ride home was quiet but not awkward, we were only left to our thoughts as he drove me home. I didn't know what he was thinking, but my thoughts were on the look Ezra gave me before lying to my parents, the look of shame but acceptance. It was like he knew we would never be able to tell people about us, or that he would never.
Jason pulled into my driveway, pulling me away from the bad train of thoughts I was about to head down. "Thank you again for the ride home." I say as I open the door.
"No problem, I'll see you around," I smile and nod, stepping back and closing the door, watching him reverse out and head down to his house. I was about to head inside, when my phone goes off and I get a text from Emily telling me to head back to where I just came form, for A.