Joe's made plenty of mistakes this year.
Like the time he walked in on his parents having sex. (He's been permanently scarred, fyi.)
Like the time he walked in the locker room and caught Van Dyke Tosh touching himself. (That one earned most awkward moment of the year award.)
Like the time he spilled orange juice all over Nick's keyboard – then blamed Frankie. (Which was proved to be a big mistake. The kid holds grudges, y'know, and has plenty of secrets about Joseph stored away in his brain. Most of which he spewed out of a mega horn while driving down the high way.)
Like the time he interrupted Kevin's alone time and was hit in the face with his guitar. (He claimed he got the black eye fighting a guy that messed with him.)
Like the time he spilled grape soda on Stella – who was wearing her brand new dress. (She was almost successful in making sure he couldn't have kids.)
Like the time he tripped and kissed Macy Misa smack on the mouth. (She didn't wake up for 3 days. Her mother nearly sued him.)
None of which measure up to this one, he thinks, standing in all his glory, completely nude in the middle of the atrium. He's hiding behind the tree, it's the middle of the school day and somebody – anybody – could see him. So, what was he doing?
He was streaking, the little devil.
Him and his brothers had made a bet – a stupid, completely idiotic, bet. If Joe couldn't get 15 girls to go out with him by the end of the week, he'd have to run naked down the hall with a brown bag over his head (with two convent holes in it to act as eyes) and pray to God that no one tried to catch him. His brothers did something and nearly every girl he asked out rejected him. He'd gotten 4 by the final day. A low blow for the charming Joe Lucas.
He takes a deep breath, pulls the bag over his head – and momentarily contemplates suffocating himself – before throwing the door open, letting out a loud tribal yell (screech) as he takes off down the hall.
He hears the screams first, then people hitting the floor, the complaints of his fellow guy students, teachers yelling about the inappropriateness of the situation, none of any doing a thing to stop him. Praise the Lord. He, stupidly, turns his head to see if anyone actually is chasing him, and when he turns back, he runs right into – oh, dear God.
Nick howls with laughter and doubles over, falling to the ground and starts rolling, clenching his sides as tears stream down his cheeks. Joe grumbles, not saying a word in fear of someone recognizing the voice as he continues his quest down the hall. Stella Malone bursts through the door at the end of his journey and she freezes for a split second before shrieking, "What are you doing?" as he gets closer and closer. He doesn't answer, keeps moving and intends to do the same until he gets somewhere safe, but of course, Stella grabs his arm and wraps her jacket around his waist. "What is wrong with you?" She asks, flustered red. He panics, catching a few teachers coming his way. He lifts the bag, showing his mouth and smashes his lips against hers. She's stiff against him for a moment, then relaxes and kisses back. Joe wishes for it to be longer, but as another breeze goes by, he remembers his task and pulls away and runs out the door, leaving an utterly confused Stella Malone in his wake.
"I can't believe you got away with it!" Kevin exclaims, shocked.
"Neither can I." Joe breathes, slipping his shirt on. "I will thank God every day for letting me get out of there alive."
"It was hilarious, though." Nick snorts. "I can't believe you actually did it."
"Joseph Lucas is a man of his word." Joe states, grinning broadly.
"Stella's gonna kill you, y'know." Kevin said. Joe groaned.
"I know." And, speak of the devil and the devil will come, a voice is suddenly down stairs.
"WHERE IS HE?" Joe's frozen for a moment, before he makes a dash for the window. He secures himself in the harness and lo and behold, there's Stella. "JOSEPH!" Her screech booms. He's bouncing down the wall quickly, and some way or another, when he reaches the ground, she's right there waiting for him.
"How did you-"
"I jumped out the kitchen window." She panted, breathless. "What is wrong with you?" She repeated as she had just an hour or so ago.
"I-uh, we had a bet-"
"A bet to get naked and kiss me?" She snapped.
"No, no-"
"Then what?" She asks, foot tapping as she crosses her arms. "Well?"
"If I couldn't get 15 girls to go out with me-" Stella snorted. "then I had to...y'know. That."
"And the kiss?" Her voice is softer.
"That was...well, I dunno." He blushed. "You weren't gonna let me go. I had to do something."
"Oh." She seems disappointed.
"Why?" He cocks an eyebrow.
"What do you mean why? Excuse me for wanting to know why my best friend streaked through the school and planted one on me." She huffed.
"You liked it." He smirked.
"Psh." She scoffed. "Oh, yeah. Please, Joseph. It was like – It was like kissing a fish. A fish that's been dead for months." His smirk stayed.
"Uh-huh." He said, not believing a word. She fumed, face growing more and more pink.
"Shut up, Joseph."
"I know you're lying." He grinned. "You always call me Joseph when you're lying."
"I do not." She turned away. "Honestly, if you think I'd ever enjoy kissing you, Joseph-" She bites her tongue. "Darn it." He laughed.
"Just admit it." He beamed at her, catching her eyes. "You know you want to."
"Fine. I like kissing you, alright? The nakedness, not so much, but-" And she's silenced. With his lips. She wraps her arms around his neck, smiling. He pulls back slightly, lips brushing hers as he speaks;
"I'd do it all again if I had to."
"Yeah, right." And he laughs and kisses her again.
Um.
I'm sorry?
OH DANG. MY FIRST OFFICIAL JOE/STELLA?
I think so. :)