Disclaimer: I do not own any of the the Twilight characters such as Carlisle.
This is my first story so be gentle with comments please, even though I know that critcism is a good thing, i still like nice comments.
The wind whipped around me like a tornado, as the rain from the storm soaked me to the bone. I looked over the side of the sixty foot cliff as I wondered what he was doing right now. I also thought about if he knew I was here, would he save me? I'm not sure how to answer that question, but I do know that the cliff will be my downfall and no one was here to save me. Not this time.
I suppose you're wondering how I got to this point in time, where nothing matters to me but my death. Well if I were to put it in a few words, I would say it was all because of him. The one who gave me the love and happiness I've never had, and then ripped it away from me only to give it to someone else. I know that usually this type of thing wouldn't affect people all that much, but to me this is the only good thing to happen to me since I was born. But I guess the only way for you to truly get it, is to start from the beginning. My name is Anabella Kuso and this is my story of the man who ruined me.
It was cold as I briskly walked to class on the first day of school. I sighed in relief as I finally saw my classroom door, I was really early and I was the first student here. I opened the door and looked at all the vacant seats that would soon be filled. Although I don't think it would really matter, none of them were or ever will be my friend. For at this school I am invisible and ever since I moved here I haven't received a glance nor a word from them.
I sat down in the back of the room while I pulled my I-pod out of my pocket. I leaned back in my chair and close my eyes as Disturbed played obnoxiously loud from my ear buds. About twenty minutes later, the first student arrived. Normally I would ignore them, but today was different. The man who walked in was someone I had never seen before. But the thing that really caught my eye was that he was looking at me, and I mean really looking at me. It felt like someone for the first time in my life, was seeing me for who I was, and not for how I dressed.
It scared me, but it intrigued me enough to talk to him, so I did. I asked him if anybody ever told him it was not polite to stare. Sure it was rude and kind of mean, but what else do you say to someone who's outright staring at you. "Sorry, sorry I was just trying to remember your face so I could match it to your name when I do attendance later". He said a little flustered about me calling him out on staring.
"Wait, you're the teacher"? He gave me a look, as if questioning with his eyes if he really looked that inadequate to teach a handful of students. "No, no I didn't mean it that way; I just meant that you look like you could be a student here. Considering how old and droopy the other teachers are".
"Oh, well then I guess I'm going to be getting a lot of that today, maybe you could give your friends the heads up about me and ask them to pass it along". He said, now understanding why I mistook him for a student rather than a teacher. I froze, what do I say? I can't just tell him I have no friends, I'd be sent to the counselor before I could even explain myself. But there was no other option. I had to tell him, so I did.
To say he was shocked would be an understatement. He was so astonished that someone as nice as me could have no friends. But he just didn't get it, this was high school and not one person here judged on personality. No, the only right way to judge people here is how they look, dress, and how much money they have in their pocket. Once I told him this, he couldn't believe his ears. How could people be so shallow and selfish? I told him not to think too hard on it, because I have tried and there's just no solid answer for such a question.
After awhile of silence he realized I was right, and gave up on trying to find the answer. We both looked the time and found that we had an hour to spare before the other students started filing in. So we both agreed to play twenty questions to pass the time. During this game we found that we had a lot in common. We both liked eating lots of pizza, we both had a passion for writing poetry, and we both love to listen to classical music. There's even more but its way to many to actually list. By the time all the other students got there, we were the best of friends.
When it was almost time for class to start, I realized that through our whole conversation we didn't even introduce ourselves. But I suppose it didn't really matter, because he did have to introduce himself to the class, and he'll find my name out when he reads off the attendance. After my realization time seemed to fly by me, the only time it paused was when my name was called and the man whose name I found to be Carlisle, looked at me like my name was the most beautiful thing he had ever said. Before I knew it, school was over and I was once again stuck walking home in the freezing cold weather.
I looked around taking in my surroundings before I started making my way home. This was another reason why I didn't fit in, everyone has a car or they get a ride with someone else. But I have neither a car nor someone to give me a ride, so I walk. I just got out eyesight of the school when a midnight black Mercedes pulled up beside me. The window rolled down to show that it was Carlisle who was driving my dream car. "Need a ride"? He asked.
I was confused as to why he would care if I walked home, but who was I to deny a free ride home in this pre-winter weather. "Sure, but I don't want to be a burden", I said a little unsure.
"Nonsense, plus I have nothing to do but mark papers, the distraction is needed". He smiled at me and I felt my heart skip a beat. I saw him smile at other people today, but this one seemed like it was made just for me. I got in on the passenger side and we were off to my house. During the drive our conversation was focused on poetry and who we thought was better, at random times I'd tell him where to turn but other than that nothing seemed more important than him, me and this moment. When we reached my house I almost didn't want to leave, but I knew I had to. I thanked him and said goodbye as I closed the car door. I ran up to my front door and opened it; I turned around and waved to him as he drove away. He turned the corner and just as he pulled out of my view, I felt empty and lonely once again.
After that the routine was formed. I'd get to school early, Carlisle would come in twenty minutes later so we could talk until the other students got there, then at the end of the day I would walk until I got out of sight of the school and he would pull up to take me the rest of the way home. He took me out to dinner a few times, along with a movie or two. We had our first kiss under the fireworks of the New Year. Now school was almost over and Carlisle was acting weird, he had been gone for a month to who knows where. Then he comes back and it's like I'm a complete stranger.
This went on until I got sick and couldn't come to school; I went to the doctor to get tested. When the results came in I cried for three days, I had cancer and there was no one here to care for me or tell it was all going to be okay. But I wasn't going to go down like this, there had to be another way. Just as I thought that the doorbell rang, I went to the door and opened it to reveal none other than Carlisle himself. I was confused and scared as I saw the solemn expression on his face. "What is it Carlisle did something happen on your trip"? I asked getting worried about why he was here.
"No, nothing bad happened on the trip, but I really need to tell you something important. May I come in to tell you"? He asked quietly never looking me in the eye.
"Oh, yes come on in, actually I have something important to tell you myself. But you go first; I mean you did come all the way down here when you could've just called". I replied quickly while moving aside to let him in. We both then sat across from each other in my family room.
"Well first off I want to say that I really did love you. But when I went on my trip to Paris like I do every year, I met someone. She's beautiful, intelligent, and has an interest in old English just like you. The only difference is that she's not dependant and obsessive, I mean I get that you're still young and being dependant is natural. But I need someone who's going to be able to take care of themselves when I'm not around, and someone who's more in touch with how the real world works and it's not you". His words hit me like a thousand bricks filled with molten lava. I didn't know whether to cry or scream in agony.
"So that's it then? You met someone at random and now I'm nothing to you"? I wanted to scream that at him with every fiber of my being, but I just couldn't. I wanted him to be happy, and if letting him go meant he would be. Then letting him go while I died inside is what I would do.
"Now what was it that you wanted to tell me? Just because we're not together anymore, doesn't mean your problems are any less important". He said that like the topic before was nothing, it bothered me that our relationship meant so little to him. But I couldn't say anything about it, and I wouldn't.
"Oh it was nothing; I was just going to say that I couldn't make it to the party this Saturday. But I guess now you won't have to go alone so problem solved". I replied as nonchalantly as possible so he wouldn't see that I was lying. Now that he had someone else to care about, I couldn't tell him about my cancer. It would make him feel that he had to do something and I don't want that.
"Okay, well if you're sure". His answer is what gave me closure about his feelings. If he still loved me he would have seen through my lie, but no he believed it without a second thought. I gave him a smile and told him I was sure, and that I was tired so if that was all, I needed to be alone. He left without a word, and the moment I heard him drive away, I broke. I cried for hours there curled up in front of my door. As I cried I realized what I wanted to do about my cancer. Without him I couldn't fight it, but I could stop the pain for good, and I knew exactly where I would do it.
So here I am, standing at the place where we had our first kiss. It was just as beautiful as I remembered it, even with the rain. I looked around memorizing every detail so that it would be forever etched into my brain. I turned around so that the last thing I saw would be a happy moment, and I pushed off. Jumping backwards and closing my eyes, still seeing my happy moment.
Then I woke up, it was the first day of school, and I was very late. I ran around the room quickly getting ready, then bolted out of the house and sprinted my way to school. I rushed into my first class bending over and panting while saying how sorry I was for being late. "Well be sure not to let it happen again Miss Kuso, now take your seat and write the poem that you will be reading at the end of class". I knew that voice, but I wasn't sure where, so I looked up to see whom was speaking. But what I saw made my ice blue eyes bug out of my head, there he was, the man from my dream. His perfectly combed blonde hair with his green eyes and handsome features, all the way down to his perfectly shined shoes. I almost cried at the sight of him, but I had to hold it in.
He doesn't know who I am, so I had to act the same way. I went to the back of the room while my black hair swayed behind me and took my usual seat, and suddenly I knew exactly what to write about. I went straight to work and when he called me to read it, I had already tweaked it to perfection. It was secretly about him, but he would never know that. I started with the title and ended with a single tear, but what I read stunned everyone in the room.
"The title of my poem is Scars".
"Most of our life, love follows us, some of it returned, and some of it not, some people say that the ones that love you so much, that they would never hurt you, are the people who help you become the person you are today, but in reality, people come into our lives, and people leave our lives, but the scars left from the people who never loved us, are there forever, to change our judgment, to keep us from doing the same to others, and to remind us every day, that the piece that's missing is there because of a mistake that we will never make again".