Teh Bye Ball LAWLZ!!!11211!!!
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Moses's adventures
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Moses: Hai Pharaoh lol im ur son but i wanna kill myself so can i borrow ur jews
*Pharoah: What the fuck? No.
*Moses: lol imma use mah l33t hax
*Pharoah: God Dammit fine take them you piece of shit
*Moses: lol okay
Pharoah: WAIT THAT FAG DIDNT GIVE ME ANY MONEY FOR THE JEWS! LETS FOLLOW AND KILL THEM ALL
Moses: hai guyz watch as i part these crappy waves lmao
*Pharoah: That bitch. he is using pro mlg halo 3 hacks
*Moses: LOL TAKE DIS IMMA MAKE THESE WAVES GO BACK TO NORMAL
Pharoah: FUCK I NEVER LEARNED TO SWIM EVEN THOUGH THIS OCEAN IS RIGHT HERE
Moses: Okay u guise lez go to that mountain so I can get high and write shit
*Everyone: You got it bro
*Moses: HAI GUYZ LOOK BURNIN BUSHES
Everyone: Uh.. that's just because you're high-
*Moses: BURNIN BUSHES U
Moses: okay wait here imma go get those tablets lololololo
*Everyone: You know what? I'm thinkin Moses is just a stupid mofo who doesn't know anything
*Dude: Let's build a gold cow.
*Other dude: kk
*Moses: U BITCHES. I BROUGHT BACK AN iPAD
*AND YOU FAGS
*R RUININ GOD
Moses: IMMA THROW THESE DOWN
*RAGE
Everyone: OH FUCK
Moses: LOL GET YO ASS WHOPPED
Everyone: Okay, we're really sorry Moses. We'll follow you from now on
Moses: DAMN STRAIGHT LITTLE BIATCES!!!!! IMMA GO GET ANOTHER iPAD YOU FAGS GET READY FOR 40,000 MORE MILES ACROSS DAT DESERT FTW!!!!!
Everyone: Sigh.
Adam and EVE LAWLZ!!!W123081273012-ROFLCOPTER
God: Hmm. I think I should make some creatures close to me for the hell of it. What harm could it do? And they could live in my wonderful palace of Eden. Cool lemme bust out some magic
Adam: LOL WTF IS THIS SHIT HOLE
God: Mind your words boy. This is my palace.
Adam: lol u live in this crap palce? god u suck
God: Shut up.
Adam: no u. hai can i haz a friend bein by myself make mes :(
God: Fine. I'll take your Pelvis or some shit and make a different form of you.
Eve: HAYZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#!#!##! LYKE OMG HAI
Adam: OMG WANNA FUCK?
Eve: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMFG~!!!!!!! OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES
God: _
Adam: Lol god u jealous u dun have anyone to fuck
God: Shut up. Listen up guys. I'll let you do whatever you want. ON ONE CONDITION. Do not eat apples from that tree. Got it?
Adam: ya sure whatever dood
Eve: lol
(Later)
Eve: these berries are suxxor need some new crap to eat
Snake: Hey, Psst!, Girly! I got what you want over here!
Eve: wat
Snake: Check it out. These apples are awesome. You know you wanna eat one of these. They so rich and full of crap.
Eve: but lyke god said to-
Snake: Are you gonna listen to God? He sucks seriously.
Eve: lol u right OM NOM NOM NOM
Eve: OMG ADAM CUM OVER HERE DIS TASTES GOOD
Adam: wat
Eve: try dis
Adam: kk lol
Adam: OMG SO GOOD GIMME MORE OF DAT BITCH
God: OH YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT.
Adam: :(!!
Eve: um um um lyke no
God: You assholes never stop. You destroy all my plants, walk around naked ALL THE DAMN TIME, AND YOU FUCKING SHIT AND PISS EVERY FUCKING WHERE. GUESS WHO GETS TO CLEAN IT UP? I FUCKING DO
Adam: LOL U MAD!
God: SILENCE! I ASK YOU TO DO ONE FUCKING THING. YOU ASSHOLES SCREW THAT UP TOO. YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK THIS CRAP. YOU ASSHOLES WANNA EAT THAT CRAP? GET OUTTA MAH DAMN EDEN.
Eve: u sexist bastard
God: OUT MOTHERFUCKERS
Adam: :( u will pay god u will
Eve: ya once we get l33t hax :(
N0AHS AERK!!!W!)#723012983-12
Noah: LAWLZ I PRAY TO GODZ AND I GOOD BOY ROFLCOTPER LMAOFAOFLAMO
God: Hey Noah, Get over here
Noah: HEY IT MAH FAVORITE MOTHAFUCKA!!! WOOT GOD!!!!!! YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
God: Sigh. Right. Look, It appears that Adam and Eve really did get l33t hax and it seems that they corrupted everyone
Noah: OH LAWD!!!! THOSE HACKARZ TAKIN OVER YA HALO 3 LMFAO!!!!!! NOOB!!!!!!!! LMFAO!!! GOD'S A FUCKING NOOB!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!
God: You and the rest of these god damn humans never shut the fuck up do you.
Noah: LOL U MAD U MAD U MAD U MAD U MAD UMAD!!!!!!!!! GOD MAD!!!!! ROFLCOPTER!!!
God: Sigh. Right. Well. To get rid of all these bad people, I'm going to flood the whole damn planet tomorrow. Since you've been good (My fucking ass) I've come to warn you. I want you to make an Ark to survive the flood. Got it buddy?
Noah: YA I GOT IT IMMA MAKE A PLAYSTATION 3 METAL GEAR EVANGELION GUNDAM NINJA SASUKE SHINIGAMI KNIGHTMARE FRAME MICROSHIT TONY'S A FAG ARK.
God: -_- I swear, one of these days.. I'm just gonna push that rapture button.. One of these days..
Noah: OKAY TIEM TO GET TO WERK! HAI MAH ASSISSTANT GET OVA HERE NAO LMAO YOU NOOB U ASSISTANT TO ME LMAO
Assistant: Alright Noah, what do you want me to do?
Noah: HALP ME MAKE AN ARK!!! LMAO!!!!
Assistant: Fine, look, it won't make much sense for just us two to be on the Ark. If we wanna preserve some species we should take some of the more important species with us-
Noah: NO FUCK DAT LMAO LEZ TAKE 2 OF EVERY ANIMAL
Assistant: Every animal- Do you fucking realize how many SPECIES there are?
Noah: YA LEZ TAKE THEM ALL LMFAO!!!!!
Assistant: WAIT WAIT WAIT When did God say this flood was gonna come?
Noah: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO
Assistant: Okay.. Lemme.. Lemme.. get this straight. You and I are gonna get EVERY SPECIES OF ANIMAL ON THE WHOLE FUCKIN EARTH IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS, ALONG WITH MAKING AN ARK?
Noah: YA LEZ GO LMAO!!
So Noah and his assistant went looking for every species and got them all and built a Playstation 3 Metal Gear Evangelion Gundam Ninja Sasuke SHinigami Knightmare Frame Microshit Tony's a fag ark Ark within the time limit.
Noah: KK WE GOT EVERYONE ON BOARD LMAO!! LEZ FUCK THE ANIMALS!!!
Assistant: _ No. Hey, just a question, how exactly is flooding the world gonna do anything?
Noah: CUZ IT HAS WAVES LMFAO NOOB
Assistant: No, I mean, I imagine some people can swim, and some would have BOATS already. Just seems plain illogical
Noah: LOL UR DICK IS ILLOGICAL LMFAO!!!! LMAO!!
Noah: HAI LOOK A FUCKIN RAINBOW!!!! LETS BANG DAT
Assistant: You can't bang a rainbow. That would be even more fail than trying to bang the wind.
Noah: IMMA BANG IT BITCH LMAO OH LOOK A DOVE LMFAO!!!
So Noah went and tried to bang the rainbow. He unfortunately FAILED in doing so and died. What a fag.
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J0seph and Mary on the Jerry Springer SHow
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A long time ago when Joseph and Mary were around, Jerry Springer was alive. Yeah. He is fucking immortal. Anyways, When Joseph noticed his boy, Jesus, was unusually heading out into the desert and refusing to partake in his everyday chores, things began to get weird. Even more weird when Jesus mentioned an unusual individual "God" as his "real father." Joseph consulted Jerry Springer for a solution and forced Mary to take a paternity test or whatever the hell they have.
Jerry: Thank you for both coming on today.
Joseph: Yeah.
Mary: um.. sure..
Jerry: Well we have the results right here.. and.. Joseph.. You are NOT the father.
Joseph:..WHAT?
Jerry: It's true. Your son is actually the son of "God."
(Joseph turns to Mary)
Joseph: HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME
Mary: LOOK I WANTED TO TELL YOU BUT-
Joseph: NO DONT GIVE ME TAHT WE WERE GOING TO MAKE A HOUSE AND LIVE TOGETHER PEACEFULLY MARY DONT GIVE ME THIS
Mary: But I-
Joseph: HOW LONG MARY. HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN THIS "GOD" PERSON?
Mary: I I I LOOK I DIDNT WANT IT TO HAPPEN I NEVER MEANT TO CHEAT ON-
Joseph: CHEATING? YOU WERE FUCKING CHEATING ON ME?
Mary: THIS ANGEL NAMED GABRIEL CAME BY AND SENT ME A MESSAGE FROM GOD AND IWAS JUST SO CAPTIVATED I..
Joseph: NO YOU KNOW WHAT. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS ANYMORE MARY. I'M TIRED OF FIGHTING.
Mary: NO JOSEPH JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE I PROMISE I'LL CHANGE
Joseph: NO, THE FACT THAT MY SON IS NOT MINE, I CANT LIVE WITH THAT. YOU AND "GOD" CAN FUCKING DEAL WITH YOUR OWN PROBLEMS. I'M GOING TO A STRIP BAR.
Mary: NOOOOOOOO JOSEPH NOOOOOOOO
(Audience booing)