Dear Fanfiction mates,

I do not own Sonny With A Chance or the Bachelor.

Thanks,

Lauren

[Scene opens with the immaculately dressed "Bachelor", Chad Dylan Cooper holding a bouquet of roses on the steps of a pristine mansion, overlooking the seaside. The wind howls, bringing with it the seasonal aroma of local jasmine blooming in the property's stately gardens. Chad watches from the distance as a trio of girls clad in satiny dresses and carrying large, expensive handbags waltz across the cobblestone path leading to said porch and greet them politely with a slight nod of his head.]

[The girls in turn aged sixteen to seventeen years of age vary. There is the dark eyed, porcelain skinned witty edged Sonny shivering beneath a pale wash of moon looming in the pitch black nighttime sky, blue eyed Miley Stewart offering a wide grin upon her heart shaped features, a shy Lilly joining her friend in this teen season of The Bachelor, the ever spunky Selena Gomez from Wizards of Waverly Place, and the ever narcissistic Tawni Heart, who appears to be gazing admiringly at her reflection from a small, handheld mirror.]

Chad: Ladies! How nice it is to join me in this celebrity edition, teen based The Bachelor. Tonight, you shall be introduced to your rooms in the Household and the rose ceremony will begin in just a few moments. Now, as you know, last season Portlyn, Nadia, Gracie, Sheryl, Seraphine, Olivia, and Delilah were sent home. The five of you remaining as based upon my decision have a shot at becoming my girlfriend, in the final rose ceremony which in other words is the basic elimination round. Tomorrow night, two girls will be sent home. I will have but two dates tonight that bring me closer to finding out more about you and makes it a whole lot easier to choose the girl of my dreams.

Selena (pipes up, hand raised in the air): Which will be when, Chad?

Chad (smiles appeased, as though he's no clue she's trying to test his patience): Sel, please. I can't just give away the point of the show. That would be a disappointment to the fans and well, not fair to everyone else.

Miley (arches eye brow amused): Chad, Chad, Chad! Could you be a dear and present the roses already?

Lilly (steps forward, elbowing her best friend hard in the ribs): Do you want us to get kicked off? Stop with the impatience, girl. It's killing the mood, don't you see?

Miley (scoffs): Lil, I got this. I'm just trying to see when we'll all be on our way toward claiming his heart.

Sonny (bites lip agitated): You mean you! Everyone has a chance, Stewart.

Miley (rolls eyes): Please, you and your pasty skinned complexion are a joke. Even Chad thinks so.

Sonny (crosses arms across chest defensively): Hey, it's not my fault I don't believe in tanning beds or those dreaded spray tans. It's totally superficial. At least I don't look like a lobster...

Miley (eyes blaze with fury): You wouldn't last one day in my shoes. And, FYI I do not look like a lobster. It's better than being a ghost!

Chad (steps in, shoving a rose into Sonny's hand to quiet her next outburst): Ladies, chill out. This isn't all about you, is it? I, the Bachelor, must maintain order over everything that goes down here. This is a television show, for Cripes sake! There are cameras rolling, watching your every move. Now, if you could just take a rose and wait calmly as I show you each to your rooms, the order will be restored.

Tawni (smirks at herself in mirror): Can anyone see how beautiful I look in this light?

Sonny (while admiring the deep, red rose whose petals glisten with beads of moisture, snatches the mirror from Tawni's death grip and flings it across the porch, where it crashes against a gleaming marble bird's bath, shards of glass shimmering beneath the dim glow emanating from a line of Japanese lanterns strung in the gardens): Tawni, it doesn't surprise me how you could only care about yourself in the pretense of a charming host.

Chad (glances toward Sonny, touched): You really think I'm ah, charming?

Sonny (blushes various shades of violet): Yeah.

Chad (smiles broadly): Oh, Sonny. I believe I have an idea who my first date will be tonight.

[Chad strides toward Miley, Lilly, Selena, and Tawni; doling out the four other roses. Miley hug it close to her chest, while Selena strokes its petals as though in love. Lilly inhales its perfumy scent, and Tawni snaps the rose from its rigid, green stem; tucking it behind one ear in an exuberant fashion.]

Lilly(breaks silence): OK, why is Sonny Monroe your first date, huh? Are we all just a waste of your precious "Chad Time"? Cause' it sure seems that way.

Chad(says softly, locking eyes with an infuriated Lilly): No, I don't like you any less than I do Selena, Sonny, Tawni, or Miley. I like each of you in different ways. For instance, the first time we met, I was intrigued by the fact you loved skateboarding, surfing, you know all the things the girls I'd always met never seemed to like.

[Chad shifts closer to Lilly, planting a kiss on her cheek and enveloping her in a flirty embrace. The other girls', glad they have a chance with him, sigh contentedly.]

Chad(composes a relieved smile): Since that is settled, there should be no jealousy amongst you all. Got it? Are you ready to see the rooms, Ladies?

[The girls' nod in agreement, still clutching their roses and follow him in a murmur of pleasant chatter into the wide, doorway of the giant, household.]

To be Continued.