Author's note: Like most of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman fans, one of my favorite episodes is "Where the Heart Is." I always wanted to see how Sully felt while Dr. Mike and the kids were away and when he admits to himself he was in love with her. We knew he miss her from when he looked longingly at her school picture and when he talked to Cloud Dancing, but I thought Beth Sullivan should had written more scenes from Sully's point of view and what he had dreamed in the first half. So I wrote those missing scenes and I hope y'all will enjoy what I wrote. Here's "Where His Heart Is!"
Outside of his lean-to anyone could hear the crickets chirping, owls whoing, and coyotes howling in a distance, but Sully didn't hear those night sounds. His mind was too busy wondering how Dr. Mike and the kids were doing in Boston. He wondered if Mrs. Quinn was better or worse. How Dr. Mike and the kids were dealing with her illness?
Sully let out a heavy sigh and murmured, "I wish I was there for them and see if they're okay."
It had been two weeks since they left Colorado Springs and a week since he got her telegram asking him to send her the papers she wrote on the Cheyenne liver detoxifying tea. Sully stayed and watched Horace send the telegram, wanting to be sure he sent all of it. Mrs. Quinn's life was depending on those papers. He guessed those fancy city doctors didn't believe an Indian tea would help her mother.
A smile crept onto Sully's face as he was remembering when Dr. Mike herself was hesitate to use Cheyenne's medicine on her patients and now she use their teas and herbs as well as her other medicines in her practice. The smile faded as he recalled when he and the kids nearly lost her to the grippe. Thank God for Cloud Dancing and his tea for saving her life. Sully still could picture Dr. Mike lying on the bed pale, her breath was labored, and her head turning from side to side as she slept. He stood there feeling helpless and praying Matthew would bring Cloud Dancing before she got worse. When Matthew came back and told him to bring her outside, he sprang into action. Sully lifted Dr. Mike from the bed and took her outside and lifted her to Cloud Dancing who was sitting on his horse. When Sully saw his brother had her, he led the horse to the reservation. After the healing ceremony and Dr. Mike had her first dose of the brew tea, they took her back to the clinic. That evening Sully had given her tea every two hours and prayed to the spirits to make her well. He hadn't prayed that hard since Abigail went into labor and was having complications and it looked like she and the baby weren't going to make it. God and the spirits took his wife and baby from him, but let Dr. Mike live.
Sensing his master's sadness, Wolf went to Sully and licked his hand and then rested his head in his lap.
This gesture snapped Sully back to the present. He started petting Wolf and said, "I'm okay, boy. I was just rememberin' how we almost lost Dr. Mike. I was so relieved I was when Dr. Mike woke up and her fever broke. I don't think I could've handled losin' another person that means a lot to me."
Sully's faithful companion lifted his head and tilted it, looking up at him if he was asking him the same question he had been asking himself since he set eyes on her. How much does Dr. Mike means to me? He knew the answer in his heart, but his head didn't want to accept it. Now two weeks not seeing her, especially at the clinic or at the homestead made him miss her more than he wanted to admit. Dr. Mike's being away was making it hard to deny what his heart was telling him for a year and half. He was in love with Dr. Mike.
"Love," Sully whispered in the darkness of the night.
After losing Abigail and Hannah Sully thought he would be alone for the rest of his days and he had made peace with it. Then he met a beautiful doctor from Boston named Michaela Quinn and he was hooked. Dr. Mike was different than any other woman he had known. She was loving, caring, open-minded, independent, stubborn, and fierily. Qualities Sully admired in her, but sometimes a couple of those traits drove him nuts, especially her stubbornness. Then he reminded himself if she weren't so independent and stubborn, she wouldn't be a doctor or here in Colorado Springs. Now Sully couldn't picture Dr. Mike not being in his or the kids' lives.
He smiled when thought about how she made things interesting after she arrived. Sully would never had thought a well-bred lady would travel from Boston to Colorado Spring alone to be a doctor, help the Cheyenne, go with him to collect water samples, or enter a horse race as a man. Yes, there weren't many dull moments with Dr. Mike around. He never told her that whenever he would go hunting or go to check on his traps he tried not to go to far or stay away too long in case she or the kids needed him. Sully knew if he told her that she would make a speech how women can take care of themselves just fine without a man.
Thinking back Sully realized how many times he had helped or rescued her since he had known her and was proud.
"It feels nice helping Dr. Mike and the kids," he thought. "I feel part of their family. They always made me feel welcome. I really enjoy spendin' time with the kids, especially Brian. The boy needs a man to talk to. It's hard not havin' a pa. I know that."
His mind wandered back to nearly a year ago when Brian asked him to marry Dr. Mike for her birthday and be his pa. Sully was afraid he spoke to Brian too harshly and regretted the way he had reacted to the boy's proposal. It shook at his core and needed to get away to think. Sully had spent two years on his own and it would be hard to change. Much like Jake, who was unwilling to give up drinking, Sully wasn't ready to give up his freedom. When he returned, Reverend Johnson was asking her to go for a buggy ride and he volunteered to watch the kids. Sully felt a pang of jealously as he watched them walking away. When Matthew asked him if he was coming to Dr. Mike's surprise birthday party Sully answered by saying he didn't know. It wasn't until Cloud Dancing's talk after race he decided to go to surprise party and to dress up for the occasion.
Sully chuckled and thought, "Dr. Mike looked surprise seein' me all cleaned up and in a suit. I was even shock 'cause I hate dressin' up, but she said that I was handsome, so it was worth it. I know we were both surprise when we kissed after I gave her the saddlebag I made her. It was a little kiss but it was still electric. It felt right but then I told myself it was nothing."
Sully knew he couldn't lie to himself any longer. He loved Dr. Mike and missed her and the kids like crazy.
"Maybe I should go to Boston," he spoke aloud.
Then Sully wondered if he would be welcome or if he would be in the way.
"What if Mrs. Quinn ain't better yet? I don't want to cause a distraction by being there," he told himself. "On the other hand, I could be there for them. I gotta think about this some more. Maybe the spirits will guide me on what to do."
Sully let out a yawn and knew he needed to try to sleep since he hadn't slept well the night before. He layed down on his bedroll, covered himself with a blanket, turned on his side and started stroking Wolf's soft coat. Five minute later, Sully was asleep and started dreaming.
Sitting on a park bench in Boston with Dr. Mike, watching Matthew and Brian playing catch while Colleen was reading a book underneath a tree. Sully turned to look at the woman besides him and she took his breath away. Dr. Mike was wearing a fancy blue dress, had her hair curled but had it down, and her face beamed with happiness as she was watching her sons playing. He thought she looked beautiful and was glad he was with her and enjoying her company again.
"I can't believe I was so hesitate about coming here," Sully thought, amusedly. "I was foolish to think I wouldn't be welcome. Well, Dr. Mike and the kids were happy to see me, but not her ma or her sisters."
Feeling his gaze on her, she looked at him and asked, "what are you thinking about, Sully?"
He replied honestly, "I was thinking, 'I'm sure glad I came.'"
Dr. Mike rewarded him with a big smile, and told him, "The children and I are very happy you decided to come here as well. We have missed you." After saying this, she put one of her small hands over his.
Sully loved the feel of her warm, soft hand under his rough hand and felt his pulse quickening at her touch.
"Now that Mother is cured and all settled back in her house, we can go back home," she announced. "I know Colleen and Brian enjoy Boston and spending time with mother, but Matthew misses Ingrid and is ready to go home. To tell the truth, I'm anxious to get back to Colorado Springs, the homestead, my clinic, my patients, my friends and to you."
Sully's big blue eyes met Dr. Mike's mix-matched color eyes and slowly their faces were coming closer. Before they could kiss, a hawk landed near her feet. He looked down and stared at the bird and the sense of dread washed over him. Sully knew in the Cheyenne's culture a hawk means bad luck and he believed what they told him. He wondered what bad luck was coming their way. Possibilities were flooding into his head. Was something going to happen to Dr. Mike? Will something going to happen to one of the kids? Was something going to happen to him? Is Mrs. Quinn going to have a relapse?
Then a male voice came out of nowhere and called, "Michaela, children, time to come home to me!"
Sully looked up and saw Dr. Mike and the kids had disappeared. He leapt to his feet and scanned around the park for them.
"Dr. Mike! Kids!" he shouted. "Where did y'all go? Come back!"
Sully jolted up from his bedroll and rubbed his face with his hands. He tried to tell himself it was just a dream but knew the spirits were trying to tell him something. Sully layed back down trying put the dream from his mind and go back to sleep, but for the rest of the night he kept wondering what bad fortune the hawk would bring.
Sully and Cloud Dancing sat together in front of the small fire after eating supper. Sully was sipping tea and thinking about his dream for the umpteenth time. He couldn't stop worrying something or somebody was going to stop Dr. Mike and the kids from coming back.
Sully's Indian brother noticed something was bothering him all evening. Finally he asked, "What troubles you, Sully?"
He took another sip of his tea before saying, "dreams."
"Dreams are the spirits telling us of the past or of the future."
"I dream I'm in Boston," Sully only told Cloud Dancing.
"Where Dr. Mike is."
Sully nodded.
"Have you ever been there before?"
He answered by saying, "never."
Cloud Dancing replied, "then it is a dream of future."
Sully once again sat quietly and was deciding whether to go to Boston or not. He had been debating this and thought about the dream all day.
Cloud Dancing saw him struggling over what to do. Cloud Dancing noticed after Dr. Mike and the kids left Sully was sad and his mind seemed miles away. When Dr. Mike left, so did his heart. Everybody on the reservation knew Sully was in love with Dr. Mike and wondered when he would tell her how he felt. On more than one occasion he and Snow Bird talked about how they hoped that their two friends would finally realize they were in love with one another and be happy. Both Sully and Dr. Mike lost a love, but the spirits was giving them a chance at an even greater love if they could admit to each other and themselves they were in love with one another.
Cloud Dancing looked at Sully who was still debating whether or not to go to Boston. He expected there was more to his dreams than he had told him, so Cloud Dancing took this opportunity to give his brother some advice.
"Sully," Cloud Dancing said slowly, trying to form the right words in his head before proceeding. When he did he began, "there are people who are destined to never meet their soul mates, but there are some who always fall in love with the wrong people. On the other hand, the spirits help a lot of people to meet their loves and sometimes when one loses a love, they will give the person another love-a greater one. I know you loved Abigail and she will always have a special part of your heart, but it's time to move on. I believe the spirits brought you and Dr. Mike together and maybe they're warning you not to wait too long to tell her you love her. If you do, then somebody else might try to win her heart. You don't that, do you? "
"No, I don't," Sully admitted and his jaw tightened as he was remembering the hawk again. He knew Cloud Dancing was right. He needed to go to Boston and try to stop something or somebody from taking Dr. Mike and the kids away from him before he could tell her how much he loved her and the kids. Sully's mind was made up. First thing tomorrow morning he was going to catch up to the stagecoach and get on a train to Boston.