When Hester was a kid, she used to read storybooks together with her mother, up till the point where Hansel and Gretel killed her. She remembered snickering at the Good princesses when she was younger, since they were all so feeble and needed a prince to save them and then after that they fell in love and got married, just like in every other fairy tale. She made a silent promise to herself to never, ever get married.
And yet, here she was, sipping tea and munching cookies and croissants with two Nevergirls and an Ever princess, asking them advice on how to propose to her significant other. Dot nearly spat her cookie out when she heard the news.
"You're proposing?!" She asked excitedly. "Yeah that's right, announce it to the whole school," Hester replied grumpily, pouring herself more tea. She always drank tea as it was, with no sugar or milk, even if it was bitter. That was one thing she and Anadil had in common.
"Ooh, can I plan the wedding?" Sophie asked excitedly, her green eyes sparkling. She didn't touch any of the confections on the table, since cookies and crossaints contained butter, sugar, and wheat, her natural enemies. And she couldn't stand tea without sugar or milk. So she sat there and took tiny sips of bitter tea every now and then, just to maintain the appearance of a warm, gracious hostess.
"Do I look like I enjoy torturing myself?" Hester growled. "Well-" Sophie began, but the tattooed witch cut her off, pointing her red fingertip at her. "Shut up," Hester said.
"So what's the issue?" Agatha asked. Finally, someone who was going to help her out. "I don't know if I should. I think marriage is stupid, and I know she does too." Hester sighed and sipped her tea.
"Then why are you even proposing?" Sophie scoffed. Hester threw a cookie at her. "Marriage benefits," she snapped. "But mostly because she loooves Anadil," Dot sang cheerfully, snickering at Hester. She threw another cookie, this time at her coven-mate. She grabbed a fresh one and took a huge bite, glowering at Dot.
"Okay, focus. Why do you need our help?" Agatha asked, gazing uneasily at the half-eaten cookie in Hester's hand. "I don't know if I should, and besides, I don't even know how to!" Hester replied, stuffing the cookie into her mouth. Sophie's green eyes lit up.
"Ooh, picture this. You take her to one of those Evil restaurants you like that smell weird. Wait, never mind. Go to one that doesn't smell. Which will be hard to find, but you'll figure it out. Anyway, you two sit in a corner alone, talking over drinks. You're sitting next to a window, and it's dark, but the scenery is beautiful. Suddenly, music begins to play. The kind of soft, classical music that Anadil pretends she doesn't listen to. A few fairies float over. Their wings and clothes are red, and their bodies are white. Never mind that they're Ever creatures, that's not the point. And they'll be white and red, because that's literally all the colour Anadil has. They're floating around and being all sparkly and pretty. Then, one of them drops the ring into your hand. Everyone is watching. You kneel down, and in a soft, tearful voice, you ask her to marry you. She cries and says yes, everybody cheers, and the fairies fly off to provide flattering lighting on the two of you. Fireworks explode outside. Everything is perfect."
Hester, Dot, and Agatha gaped at Sophie with their mouths wide open. Sophie was still smiling dreamily into the distance. Upon noticing the gazes of her dumbstruck friends, she snapped back to reality. Sophie tucked a lock of golden hair behind her ear in one graceful motion, clearing her throat and composing herself.
"A girl can dream, can't she? Besides, knowing you, you'd ask her to marry you by giving her the ring and babbling about marriage benefits," she huffed. "She's not wrong," Dot said with a laugh.
Agatha rolled her eyes. "Anyway, I think you should just ask her. It doesn't matter how you ask, or where you ask. She'd still say yes anyway," she said, buttering a croissant.
"I don't know, I just don't think it's a very good idea," Hester muttered, grabbing another cookie. "Well can we at least see the ring?" Sophie asked with a sigh, stirring her mostly untouched tea.
Hester pulled a delicate silver ring inlaid with a small ruby out of her pocket. It wasn't very extravagant, but it was lovely. "I carry it around for when I finally decide to do it," she explained, turning a little red.
Dot, who knew nothing about jewelry, gasped and leaned closer, her dark eyes widening. "It's so pretty," she said, almost longingly.
Agatha, who knew a little about jewelry, teared up and wiped her eyes hastily. "She is going to love it," she said, smiling while trying not to cry.
Sophie, who knew lots about jewelry, gasped and tried to snatch it out of Hester's hand. "Oh, now I wish I was marrying you instead of Anadil," she said, gazing at the ring hungrily.
Hester choked on her tea. "Do not even joke about that," she said, slipping it back into her pocket with a shudder. "Where did you buy the ring?" Agatha asked.
"Well I didn't so much as buy it, more like stole it. But I picked it out myself," Hester said, a little defensively.
"It's all silver and red. Just like Anadil and her depressing lack of colour," Sophie said dreamily, pretending to sip her tea. "Quit insulting my girlfriend," Hester snapped.
"Look, Hester, I think you should do it whenever you want. Anadil isn't going to leave or anything. She loves you, and I know you love her too," Agatha said gently. "So no pressure," Dot piped up, turning her teacup to chocolate.
"Alright. Thanks, Agatha," Hester said, getting up to leave. She slid her hand into her pocket, and turned back to glare at Sophie. She held out her palm. Sophie sighed and placed the ring in her hand. "So close," she muttered, pretending to sip her tea.
"I cannot believe you just tried to rob Hester," Agatha said. "We're Nevers. Are you surprised? Besides, it's her fault for not noticing my finger lighting up," Sophie scoffed. "Well, I'm going to go now. If I stay here any longer I may kill her," Hester said, glaring at Sophie.
After Hester left, Sophie leaned forward, her eyes gleaming. "Listen, you two. Hester, being the stubborn idiot she is, probably isn't going to propose to Anadil. Ever. So it's up to us to help her out," she said. Agatha frowned.
"Remember what happened the last time you tried meddling in romance?" She asked. Sophie waved a hand airily. "Oh, but this is different. This isn't me and that fatheaded prince Tedros. It's Hester and Anadil," she replied. "Quit insulting my boyfriend," Agatha muttered.
"That's fair," Dot said, turning her plate to chocolate. "And we wouldn't be doing anything too bad. We'd just be moving things forward a little," Sophie added, gesturing enthusiastically. "I'm in," Dot said, eating her plate.
"Aggie?" Sophie batted her green eyes at her best friend, giving her her best puppy dog look. Agatha sighed. "So long as we don't do anything too bad," she said.
"Why, Aggie, what makes you think I would do something bad?" Sophie widened her eyes innocently. Agatha groaned and put her face in her hands.
"So what's the plan?" Dot asked. "Well..." Sophie beckoned the two closer, her voice low. "Why are we whispering? It's not like Hester's going to burst in and find us," Dot whispered. "Probably for dramatic effect," Agatha replied.
"So on Friday nights, the two of them usually go out and do something fancy, stuff like going to see Never plays or to an expensive restaurant or something," Sophie began. Agatha frowned. "Do you stalk them or something?" She said. "No, Dot told me. I asked, since I don't have much going on in the romance department myself," Sophie replied. Dot blushed.
"Anyway, this week they're taking the 7.30 train to that new restaurant that's opening in Netherwood," Sophie continued. "Wait, how are they getting there? They can't take the Flowerground on their own while they're still students, can they?" Agatha asked with a frown. Sophie rolled her eyes. "Aggie darling, do you really think these two don't have fake identification cards to go on the Flowerground alone?"
"Oh," Agatha said. She made a mental note to talk to Hester about her steadily increasing list of crimes. Dot raised her hand. "Also, how do you know that?" She asked. "I am your great and all-knowing Dean, darling. Also, sometimes I eavesdrop on them when I have nothing to do," Sophie replied.
"Anyway, here's the plan. When we get there, I steal the ring from Hester. Agatha, you organize the fairies, and Dot, you get the music," she instructed.
"Can we skip the fairies? Because I feel like Hester would blast them to ashes, and also I really hate fairies," Agatha said. Sophie looked scandalized. "Do you want your friends' proposal to be less than perfect? Just because you don't like them and there's a chance that Hester might kill them? If anything, I think she'd be glad to have a chance to-"
"Okay, okay," Agatha said hastily, before Sophie launched into one of her trademark dramatic monologues.
"So is everyone clear on what we have to do?" Sophie asked, looking around. Dot and Agatha nodded. Sophie grinned.
"Well, let's get moving then. We have a proposal to orchestrate."
Several hours later, Agatha, Sophie and Dot were sitting together in a cramped booth in the restaurant, trying to spy on Hester and Anadil, who coincidentally had chosen seats by the window.
The restaurant was actually quite pleasant, albeit a little dark. It didn't smell, for one thing, and the furniture was all black and white. Soft sounds of music drifted through the place, creating quite a pleasant ambiance. Though the food they offered made Sophie want to gag.
"I can't believe Hester's fake name is Rowena of Bloodbrook," Agatha muttered. "Well at least she's not pretending to be 'Callista of Neverland', the world's first white-haired Ever." Sophie snickered.
"I got the music. When do I play it?" Dot asked, holding up a record. "Wait for my signal. The plan is this: they have dinner, then they talk. And as they talk, we move in. I will steal the ring later, so Hester doesn't suspect anything. And by the end of the night we'll be able to plan the first Never marriage to happen between two girls," Sophie said cheerfully. "Sounds good. What could possibly go wrong, right?" Dot asked.
"Is everything okay? You seem kind of distracted," Anadil said, stroking one of her rats. The two of them had just eaten, and they were waiting for the bill. "I'm fine," Hester replied, a little guiltily.
After she left Sophie, Agatha, and Dot, she did quite a lot of thinking about what they said. She made the decision to propose that night, but she was still kind of nervous. Hester planned to take Anadil for a walk, then pull the ring out of her pocket, offer it to her, and say something casual like, "we're probably going to spend the rest of our lives together, so we may as well make it official." Anadil would snicker a little, make a comment, and allow her to slid the ring onto her finger. Simple.
"So what did you think of the food? I thought it was okay enough. Nowhere near as good as the place in Ravensbow we went to last week," Anadil continued. "Oh yes, that one was good," Hester said. The waiter came by with the bill, and she paid before Anadil could protest.
"Shall we go now?" Hester asked, extending her hand to Anadil. The albino witch smiled, her rats hopping onto her shoulders. "Sure, let's-"
Very loud, angry music suddenly filled the restaurant. Everyone jumped in surprise, but most of them were nodding along to the music soon. Anadil raised her eyebrows. Dimly, she could hear the faint sounds of a very familiar voice screaming "WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU", and another familiar voice apologising rapidly.
"Don't you listen to that band?" Anadil asked. "And isn't that Sophie and Dot?" Hester frowned. She craned her neck to locate the source of the voices.
Hester didn't get a chance to see if it really was Sophie and Dot, because a bunch of fairies floated towards her and Anadil, their wings and eyes red and their bodies white. Hester's eyes widened as she slowly began to understand. A vein began to pulse in her neck.
"Oh no," she muttered. She felt in her pocket for the ring. It was gone. "Oh no," she repeated. Anadil frowned. "What's happening?" She asked, narrowing her red eyes.
The music stopped abruptly, and the restaurant was filled with the sounds of shouting. "YOU HAD ONE JOB, DOT. ONE JOB," Sophie yelled. Dot looked like she was hoping the ground would open up and swallow her. "I'm sorry, I took the wrong one, I told you I probably misread the cover or something," she squeaked.
"Sophie, I sent the fairies out," Agatha said. "Good," Sophie huffed. "Yes, but did you remember to give them the ring?" Agatha continued. "Of course I- oh no," Sophie replied, her eyes widening in horror as she noticed the ring still shining on her finger.
She turned over and saw Hester staring at her like she was trying to decide exactly how to murder her, while a very confused Anadil beat the fairies away with her hand, her rats squeaking menacingly at the poor fairies.
"Okay, we can still fix this," Sophie said, trying to sound upbeat. Dot glared at her. "You also only had one job, and you-"
"Not now, Dot," Sophie said, dragging Agatha with her as they marched towards Hester and Anadil. Dot rolled her eyes and followed suit, the record in her hands.
"Hester! Anadil! Fancy seeing the two of you here!" Sophie said cheerfully, her hands behind her back. "I am going to murder you in your sleep," Hester snarled in reply.
"Yes yes I know." Sophie rolled her eyes. "Now since you're not going to do it, I am. Anadil," she turned to the very confused albino witch who was still fending off the fairies. Sophie sighed. "Aggie for heaven's sake call those things off," she said. Agatha whistled to the fairies and told them to go away before she ate one of them.
"Now, Ani, since Hester's a stubborn idiot who won't ever say this to you, we thought we'd help say it for her," Sophie continued cheerily. "Not we. You," Agatha corrected. Sophie ignored her.
"But due to ah, a few slight mistakes, namely Dot stealing the wrong CD-" she paused to glare at Dot, who responded with an indignant 'but you forgot the ring!' "-things didn't go as planned. But don't worry, I can still fix this!" Sophie held the ring out to Anadil.
"Anadil, will you marry Hester?" She said. Hester had gone a purplish-red colour. She wasn't sure if she wanted to kill Sophie or see how Anadil reacted first.
"I- what- of course I will!" Anadil said, grabbing the ring. She slipped it onto her finger, struggling to conceal a smile. "But why didn't you just ask me yourself?" She asked Hester. "Because I didn't get a chance to, not with these idiots interfering," the tattooed witch growled through clenched teeth, slowly registering her joy that Anadil said yes.
"So you really want to?" Hester asked softly, the purplish colour of her face fading to a pinkish blush. "Of course I do. I love you, you idiot." Anadil kissed her gently, and Hester smiled.
Sophie clapped and cheered. "Congratulations to Hester of Ravenswood and Anadil of Bloodbrook, soon-to-be Evil's first same-gender married couple! And of course, congratulations to me, for orchestrating the perfect plan, and for being able to fix it even when things went wrong, and- Hester why are you looking at me like that. Everything turned out well didn't it? You're getting married soon, so stop glaring at me like that. It wouldn't have happened without my help. Wait a minute hold on what are you doing call your demon back now Hester- no no no no no stop it OW that hurt I'm leaving now stop chasing me damn it HESTER LEAVE ME ALONE I'M SORRY."