What I should be doing is my homework, my geometry homework…it's due
Wednesday and I've no time this week…but I always find time for this. It's
like some sort of fix…must have it, must visit fanfiction.net or I'll go
crazed and break something.
Marvellous…anyway, here is some background on Apoc and Switch, since I think they are most obviously a couple, and I find it necessary as a writer to explain that because it wasn't explained too well in the movie. It was…very, ah, vague. Very good for plot theft…(plot theft within copyright laws!)…(I just never could've come up with Apoc the cool or Switch the ice- queen on my own.)…I am now DISCLAIMING all the stuff I may steal from the movie in this fic: I know, I know, Morpheus and Trinity and Apoc and Switch and the whole movie plot and stuff belong to the Wachowski's and the WB. I don't own the Matrix. It owns me. So don't sue! (I am really worth nothing.) And God knows doing this isn't earning me a penny either…
alright, then…
***
FROSTBITE
***
"I'll take your shift, Tank," Apoc offered, being his usual mannerly self. But manners alone would never have made him stay up an extra four hours- he was tired, but here were better things to do than sleep and dream of his past lives.
"Thanks," Tank said, and wandered off down the hallway, presumably headed for bed. Meanwhile, Apoc turned the entire set of monitors on and set them to certain locations, tapping out orders on the multiple keyboards in front of him. One screen showed a busy club where possible candidates liked to meet. The screen in the center showed an intersection in the night that was known stamping ground for agents and they superiors. The final monitor, far on the right, showed the bedroom of a messy apartment on the east side of New York City, where a sour tempered young female hacker prowled about, and dug things out from the bottom of piles of stuff.
Switch.
Apoc settled back and watched all three at once. An occasional glance to the left and center, most of his attention on the thin, pale and undernourished figure moving about on the right. **I wish she was down here. I wish someone would be nice to her…** Behind the muscle bound and cynical exterior, behind his smirking grin and quick strong reflexes that intimidated and held a gun with ease, Apoc was caring. And lonely… he had been very, very well known where he'd lived in the Matrix, prior to Morpheus; and he missed having parties and friends, and having a family. Most hackers were loners and drew inside themselves, afraid of unbarred contact with others.
Apoc was not.
***
"See that one?" Morpheus said, pointing to the screen of Tank's right- most computer while the green and black code dripped down them like runny eggs.
"Blonde, bony, antisocial?" Apoc asked, seeing a picture instead of the myriad lines of symbols.
"Yeah, if you put it that way," Tank said, eyebrows raised. Apoc usually never said much that was so opinionated. The girl in question on the screen was a 'typical' 22-year-old hacker/recluse/crime-lover from NYC, whose **given** name was Jennifer Pytrom and whose **taken** name was Switch. Her **given** person was blonde and beautiful; her **taken** person was ready to kill.
"Looks good. Let's go," Cypher said, walking into the room holding a bunch of disks. "I have our plan here," He added, grinning. Trinity followed him, hands at her sides, looking passive. Something inside told her this was not Switch's day to die.
"May I see those?" Apoc asked and he shoved the disks into the tower of Tank's computer. Schematics popped up and soon Apoc saw how they were going in to get Switch. Through the abandoned hotel, out onto 4th street, and back across an abandoned lot to the back lot of her apartment building. They would climb balconies till the seventh floor, and break the window, take her out and use the fire escape stairs to reach the ground floor of the building again. Then Cypher would pull around with a car, and they'd remove Switch from the area to another abandoned warehouse, where they would complete the whole process.
"Damn near lost the last one," Tank muttered, settling on the headset, and setting the ship's coordinates to a location right in the sector where Switch's real body lay, imprisoned in a tube of filmy green glue and wrapped in incubator wires. By saying the last one, Tank was referring to Cypher- who'd been freed a year ago.
((Author's note: Cypher is completely and utterly loyal at this point in time. He's not got a pole up his ass about Trinity, either, and there is no sign of Neo. I know the name Cypher has a bad connotation, but consider this: he's totally committed to the cause right now.))
"Right," Cypher said, feeling nervous after Tank's comment. But he blinked and he was not in the ship anymore, instead in a cool, dirty room, on the east side of NYC, in a falling apart ex-hotel.
Tank went round jacking in all of the crewmembers: Morpheus, Trinity, Cypher and Apoc. Tank was obviously the operator, while Dozer was in the medical bay getting ready for Switch's arrival.
***
The plan went as it was planned. A few bullets were exchanged upon entry into the apartment building, because Switch's neighbors were easily pissed and generally volatile, but Apoc took care of them with Cypher's help, while Morpheus ran inside with Trinity and hauled Switch out, swearing and kicking. Well all that stopped once Cypher tapped her back a few times with his handgun, indicating silence and compliance were required.
No one saw Apoc's pained look throughout the whole thing. No one was peering into the shadows on the bones of his face when Switch gasped and screamed while she was torn from the matrix and shoved unexpectedly and roughly into the grainy black newness of Reality. And no one saw- not even Dozer- when Apoc had popped into the medical bay and stood, plainly shocked, at the thin delicate lines of Switch's bony form, draped in new light blue medical sheeting. Plainly shocked at his own humanity, and her innocence when she wasn't ranting or snarling or being withdrawn. Plainly shocked at his spying from Tank's monitors and how pictures could never replace real flesh.
He studied her emaciated form… skin stretched tight over cheekbones, brow bones and collar bone, pale and under-toned in blue. Skinny arms, lined palms mostly hidden in fists. White feet stuck out from under the sheet, the bones in her ankles and heels prominent. She had light green eyes and a little bit of yellow hair.
"She'll be awake and up tomorrow," Dozer said meaningfully to Apoc, as they ran into one another in the corridor. Dozer was on his way in and Apoc on his way out. Apoc didn't sleep that night.
And the next morning, as he appeared in the mess hall sort of shoddy looking and unbearably tired, with messy hair tied into a knot at the base of his skull and dark smudges of achiness under his eyes, Switch had her first meal in the real world. She sat between Trinity and Tank, staring angrily at the bowl.
"Oh, ughh. What is this…" Switch said, trailing off. Apoc took notice at her speech. Her voice had a sweet slightly southern lilt to it, but that didn't fool him. He heard an undertone in Switch's voice that could go sour at any moment, like a guitar chord just on the edge of being out of tune.
"Ugh! I second that, coppertop," Cypher said, although he was eating. Purely out of hunger and not fancy. "Morning, Apoc. Didn't sleep too well, did you?" Cypher continued, gesturing with his eating utensil.
"Oh…uh. Yeah, I had a hard night," Apoc said. He felt as if he were being examined, as if someone had pinned him down under a microscope and was probing his brain. Switch was staring at his arms and the side of his face.
"I think I'll go now. I have to start training now," Switch said, went to leave the mess hall after putting her bowl and spork into the sink.
"What did you do?" Trinity said, looking up and fixing her gaze onto Apoc's eyes, a smile hidden beneath her cool exterior.
"Nothing. She's distant, I think," Apoc responded.
"No, she isn't," Trinity said. And Apoc winced.
"Apoc, I know for a fact those extra watches weren't for nothing. You're sparring her today. Better not be gentle," Tank said, winking and grinning.
Later, after Trinity and Apoc had finished fixing the ventilation shaft, and Cypher's watch was done, and Tank had had enough time to cram a series of martial arts training operations into Switch's head, Apoc settled into his chair and Tank jacked him into the Construct.
"This is too white," Switch said. Apoc snapped his fingers, and Tank subsequently turned the floor black and created gray walls. "Much better," Switch said, and struck at him without warning.
"Switch, you're faster than that," Apoc said, calmly, blocking a series of lightning fast punches and stabbing strikes.
"No, I'm not!" Switch said and flipped away. The look on her face was precious, a mixture between a snarl and a surprised tone. Apoc grinned and ran up to her, dealing an uppercut that could've snapped the neck of lesser fighter, but Switch had stepped back just in time and had only received some of the power in the blow.
"I disagree," Apoc continued, kicking and watching Switch block with ease. He sped up and worked harder, and finally he operated at top speed, while she was a hair away from being hit. Her foot slipped, and Apoc spun around in a flying kick that made her duck. But in two seconds he was floor sweeping with his leg, spinning around and knocking her down. She hit her cheek on the wood beneath her feet and spat out blood. Horrified at what he had done, Apoc stepped back, resisting the urge to walk over and pick her up or something.
"That," Switch began, clasping a hand to her cheek, "is gonna hurt like a bitch," she continued, "But then again, so are you." And Apoc found himself beneath his ability on the defensive side, blocking like mad, both thrilled and afraid that he was at the receiving end of Switch's temper.
"Okay! Okay! You win!" Apoc cried, still blocking, but Switch wouldn't slow down. Apoc backed himself into a wall. Switch was relentless. She spun off the wall and threw herself into Apoc gracefully, connecting with him full on. Apoc found he was pinned beneath her, with his back to the floor, both of them tinged red with exertion and breathing hard. "Ow, get off. This was supposed to be sparring," Apoc complained, pushing Switch off him effortlessly. She snarled and muttered,
"Yeah, well, it sure as hell wasn't sparring any longer after you shattered my cheekbone. You deserve being taken down by a rookie, Apoc," Switch sneered.
"Not rookie. Coppertop," Apoc corrected, getting up and finding himself lying on his back in his chair on the Neb, feeling remotely achy and defeated.
"Oh, whatever," Switch said, and went off to eat dinner.
"I think she likes you," Dozer said, catching Apoc with his crookedly happy grin as he tried to ease himself out of the chair.
"Oh, God. Ow! I'm not hungry. Dozer, can you tell the others I'm going to sleep now?" Apoc said, and slowly slunk down the corridor to his room.
***
"This is stupid," Switch said. "Why won't it work out?" She sat at the operator's desk on the Neb, working calculations on one monitor and coding a program for the Construct on the one next to it. Something was missing from the alpha string… "I'd much rather be target practicing right now," Switch muttered. She had a bruise on her cheek.
"Hello."
"What the hell!" Switch shouted and spun around, seeing Apoc loom in on her. He stepped back, a worried expression on his face.
"You alright? Sorry about the training. I didn't mean to hit you…" Apoc said, trailing off when he saw the don't-fuck-with-me look on Switch's face. "Um..."
"I'm fine, despite your fake concern. Your turn," Switch said saucily, making one last change to the program and jumping out of the operator's chair.
"Right. Thanks," Apoc said. Switch sauntered off to her room, but was intercepted on the way by Dozer, who asked her if she could help him in the medical bay.
"Okay, coppertop," Dozer began. "An extra shift- on me, or you, depends who wins this bet- says that Apoc is out there mooning about you," He said, "And that your big-ass attitude is making him sad."
"Hey! Shut up, Dozer," Switch said, a little too loudly. Dozer gestured for her to be quiet. "You piece of crap. Who said you were official matchmaker?" She continued, fiercely whispering.
"God. You're going to give someone frostbite, ice-queen! What wailed on you in that Matrix that you woke up angry instead of confused like most people do?" Dozer asked. Switch's eyes smoldered.
"Hey!"
"Come one, tell me…" Dozer coaxed, grinning,
"Apoc's quiet. And awkward, and shy, and worried, and uninteresting. There's no one for me on the Neb. My past is my own, hear? You stay the hell out of it! I wouldn't tell nobody, not even Morpheus," Switch said, and powerfully strode out of the room.
"Right. Just get pissed. I think poor Apoc will have his heart amputated because you ice-burned him," Dozer said to himself, shaking his head.
"Never a dull moment," Trinity said, walking through the bridge as she heard Dozer muttering and passed Apoc.
"Hmm?" Apoc murmured, speedily finishing the code Switch had been working on before.
"You like her?" Trinity said, examining the lines in her palm.
"No."
"Yes. You do. Don't lie," Trinity said, lips approaching a smile.
"No!" Apoc denied it again.
"Quiet. You like her!" Trinity said, smirking.
"No…" Apoc murmured, his brow creased, a worried expression on his face.
"Oh, come on. So why doesn't she like you?"
"She's distant. And bitter, and unfriendly…and…hot…" Apoc muttered sadly, clasping his hands around his arms.
"Yeah. Well, ask her about her past. And be the nicest even no matter how much she frostbites you," Trinity advised, patting Apoc on the back and heading away.
***
Apoc lay on his lumpy cot, staring at the ceiling, daydreaming. He had three more hours to sleep, and then he had to go relieve Switch from watch.
"God," He muttered and turned over. The room was dark. Someone was walking down the hall. It sounded like Cypher from the careless footsteps, not the soft quiet walk of Trinity or Morpheus.
"Hmm. Hey!" Cypher was banging on his door.
"What? Cypher? Come in?" Apoc shouted, sitting up.
"Hey, I just had an idea," Cypher said. Apoc rolled his eyes. "No, really, this is a good one. I'm going to lure Switch into your room," Cypher continued, smiling and nodding, "I'll just ask her to come over here for a second and then disappear, leaving her alone with you standing here in your doorway." Apoc stared.
"You suck."
"What?" Cypher asked, confused.
"You suck! You're taking this so lightly and you're so fucking good at it!" Apoc hissed, making a face.
"Right, then. I'll just get Switch over here and you two can shack up," Cypher said maliciously, cracking up.
"Hey!" Apoc hissed, following Cypher out the door, nearly missing grabbing his arm. But before Apoc could shut Cypher up-
"Switch!" Cypher shouted, grinning. Horrified, Apoc hurried back to his room.
"What do you want?" Switch shouted back.
"Could you come over here a second?" Cypher asked. Meanwhile, Apoc cowered in his room, hearing every single one of Switch's footsteps as she neared his door.
"Right, I'll be back in a minute," Apoc heard Cypher say, louder and closer.
"What?" Switch said, but didn't start walking. After all, she was subordinate to Cypher. Apoc turned round and peeked out his door.
"Looking at something?" Switch demanded, fearless.
"No…"
"Liar," Switch said, and leaned her weight to one side, tapping her foot on the steel grating below her.
"Why do you hate me?" Apoc asked, and took a single step out his door. He shut it behind him.
"I don't hate you. I hate timidity. Are you this shy in the Matrix?" Switch teased, slightly smiling.
"No. I kick serious ass in the Matrix. But this is the real world…and I hate to tell you, but this is the real Apoc," Apoc said, spreading out his arms and shrugging.
"I see." Switch said without emotion.
"You know, Cypher's not coming back," Apoc said. They both fell silent a minute. "But really. When they pulled me out of the power plant I was confused…and you…you're- you're lethally confident," Apoc continued.
"Because nothing changed for me. You have nice life back in the Matrix?" Switch asked, facetiously snarling.
"Well, yeah, I guess," Apoc said, quietly.
"Mine went somethin' like this," Switch began, tilting her head and fixing Apoc with her gaze. "I ran my ass off-everywhere in the old world. I was wanted in 34 countries, by 34 national security forces, and Interpol too. I was a hacker, a programmer, a fugitive, volatile, fast, and excellent at gun slinging. I was breaking laws like glass plates," Switch continued, chin up and lips curved in a smile, her eyes glimmering. Aoc stood, mouth open in surprise.
"I've been all over the Matrix and felt everything. I've been shot, three times, and survived. I've been through a car crash, a plane crash, and a train accident. I've built bombs, created viruses, emptied entire clips on people, drowned my enemies," Switch continued, lessening the glee as slowly her smile faded. Apoc stood, still staring.
"I've had to kill my brother, lost fights, been caught in war zones…" She trailed off and a dull, soft glow covered her green eyes. She stood perfectly still, silent.
"Um, Switch?" Apoc asked, tapping her arm gently.
"What?" Switch said, suddenly pulling away. The hard light had returned to her eyes.
"I was going to say…you must have been so lonely," Apoc whispered, in a very low voice, barely audible. He looked closely at her, confused.
"Yeah…" Switch responded, her voice cracking. Apoc leaned in closer to her, having a mental battle over whether or not to kiss her. He tried to look into her eyes, but they burned like hot sunken diamonds, so he focused on a spot on the floor. His mouth was a single inch from her cheek; he could smell her hair and skin, and even feel the uncertainty radiating from the both of them.
Then his will broke.
Apoc stepped back and turned away his head, saying, "I've got to go on watch now." The minute he sat down, the screens in front of him began blurring in front of his watery eyes. "Oh, my god. Now she hates me and this will never work out…" He whispered quietly and swiped at his eyes. Slowly the screens focused again, and Apoc began seeing pictures though the descending black-and-green code.
***
Meanwhile, Switch paced in her room. She was off-shift, and supposed to be sleeping, but that wasn't of the most importance right now.
Apoc…right…
Inside her head, a battle ensued. Statements bounced off of the walls from conflicting points of view and echoed acidly inside her head. One side said. go back and fix his daydreams, while the other side argued, over and over…he'll make you weak, he'll make you weak…
And weak was exactly what she was running from. No one no the Neb- with the exception of maybe Apoc- was weak. Morpheus was sleekly ever- prepared, and Trinity was strong, calm and controlled in all situations. Cypher was even deadly in his jest. Statements went right to the bone here in the real world- every look was twice as potent every word was loaded with excess meaning and emotion.
Apoc was shy, and uncertain. He wavered in his choices. He might have a cold stare and a strong grip, but inside his shell of steel there was a core of liquid emotion- love and hate and confusion and trust and betrayal probably, all rolled into one- the core that made his strong physical self very, very weak. Or at least Switch thought. He was so hesitant and timid, unlike Switch, who operated at such intensity that she had to remain distant in order not to implode and break down in tears.
Weakness kills, doesn't it always?
After that, Switch lay down, thinking she'd decided. But an hour later, half asleep and half awake, she began getting visions of alternate endings for the little encounter with Apoc. She saw him kissing her and herself start to cry, she saw him kiss her and get pushed away, she saw him end the conversation before she even got so close to him, she saw Cypher come running back when they stood next to one another like that. She saw the soft color of Apoc's eyes and the confused look on his face, she saw herself slipping into memory and saw him stepping in closely out of the corner of her hazy vision.
She saw her brother's dead body back in the Matrix, her mistaken bullet in his back, and her warm gun caught in the crook of her thumb. She saw the mirrors at Tokyo Airport, and how she'd run from both her own reflection and the law enforcement there. She saw her first meeting with Morpheus, and how when he'd said 'this is all fake' she'd brightened up and immediately drank down the red pill.
And most importantly, she saw the tiny, half-wallet-size photo of her parents- the last one she had gotten away with after they were killed- tucked between the thin, pale blue skin of her wrist and the sleeve of her shirt, secured with a rubber band and a tiny bit of tape. The last picture of them. The last link to the ghosts.
A single tear of pain slipped down her the pale surface of her left cheekbone and fell heavily on the rough brown blanket. **Weakness kills.** The words echoed in Switch's head and she curled up on her bed, fighting back the stronger emotion behind the single tear.
***
"I owe you something," Someone said, and all of a sudden Apoc stood in the doorway, the door gaping open like a fresh wound behind him. Switch distinctly remembered shutting it behind her. Above the two of them the light bulb flickered.
"What?" Switch asked, getting to her feet, caught off guard by everything- by Apoc's appearance, her tear, the past. "Owe me what?"
"This…" Apoc said, and simply strode towards her. He kissed her left cheek very gently, pausing against her for just a fraction of a second, and came away with a wet mouth. "Oh, my god. You've been crying," he said, completely shocked and bewildered. Suddenly he wondered, **What am I doing?! Did I make her cry? What happened? Should I apologize?**
"I'm so sorry…I didn't meant to make you cry...it's just…I…oh, no," Apoc said, shifting his feet, eyes growing sad again.
"Don't be sorry, Apoc," Switch said, sounding exhausted, sighing as she stumbled back towards her bed. Heavily she sat down and placed her elbows on her knees, resting her chin in her hands. "Don't…not your fault," Switch managed to get out hoarsely…before she started sobbing.
Apoc didn't know what to do. Seeing Switch the 'brave and emotionless' crying, curled up like a little girl, right there in front of him was enough to make him want to cry too, but he didn't…for her sake. Instead he sat down next to her and gave her a hug, resting his cheek on her temple.
"Not your fault…" Switch whispered into her wet palms, drawing heat from Apoc's arms and his wide hands resting on her shoulder blades.
***
Apoc left her later that night- after she'd stopped crying and somewhat come to. Wisely he asked no questions and did nothing forward, simply sat with his arm around her until the demons had melted back into the walls once more. He headed back to his room after finishing his watch- Cypher had taken over when he had gone to 'repay' Switch.
"Good morning," Switch said, betraying nothing of the night before when she walked into the full mess hall and poured some slop for breakfast. Morpheus raised an eyebrow when she sat down across from Apoc and locked eyes with him for a second, but aside from that, nothing showed. No one figured anything out- (well, besides everyone else on the ship) until Switch asked for an hour off her Switch and knocked on Apoc's door. She had no time to say anything because Apoc opened the door right when her footsteps stopped; he knew it had been her as soon as she'd entered the hallway.
They stood facing each other just inside the doorway, quite close.
"Déjà vu," Switch said quietly.
"No. Maybe," Apoc said, lips curving into a smile.
"Definitely this isn't déjà vu, Apoc. Because-" She paused, and looked into his eyes briefly, "has never happened before."
And with that she put her hands on the back of his neck, pulled him down, and kissed him like he'd never been kissed in the Matrix. But then again, nothing had ever happened in the Matrix.
Gasping, Apoc slid his arms around her shoulders and kissed her back.
He decided he liked the real world better.
FIN.
So? You like it? PLEASE- R&R!! I love reviews, I can't get enough of them!
They're like crack! So help me feed my review habit and give my your opinion. uhh…no flames please.
Marvellous…anyway, here is some background on Apoc and Switch, since I think they are most obviously a couple, and I find it necessary as a writer to explain that because it wasn't explained too well in the movie. It was…very, ah, vague. Very good for plot theft…(plot theft within copyright laws!)…(I just never could've come up with Apoc the cool or Switch the ice- queen on my own.)…I am now DISCLAIMING all the stuff I may steal from the movie in this fic: I know, I know, Morpheus and Trinity and Apoc and Switch and the whole movie plot and stuff belong to the Wachowski's and the WB. I don't own the Matrix. It owns me. So don't sue! (I am really worth nothing.) And God knows doing this isn't earning me a penny either…
alright, then…
***
FROSTBITE
***
"I'll take your shift, Tank," Apoc offered, being his usual mannerly self. But manners alone would never have made him stay up an extra four hours- he was tired, but here were better things to do than sleep and dream of his past lives.
"Thanks," Tank said, and wandered off down the hallway, presumably headed for bed. Meanwhile, Apoc turned the entire set of monitors on and set them to certain locations, tapping out orders on the multiple keyboards in front of him. One screen showed a busy club where possible candidates liked to meet. The screen in the center showed an intersection in the night that was known stamping ground for agents and they superiors. The final monitor, far on the right, showed the bedroom of a messy apartment on the east side of New York City, where a sour tempered young female hacker prowled about, and dug things out from the bottom of piles of stuff.
Switch.
Apoc settled back and watched all three at once. An occasional glance to the left and center, most of his attention on the thin, pale and undernourished figure moving about on the right. **I wish she was down here. I wish someone would be nice to her…** Behind the muscle bound and cynical exterior, behind his smirking grin and quick strong reflexes that intimidated and held a gun with ease, Apoc was caring. And lonely… he had been very, very well known where he'd lived in the Matrix, prior to Morpheus; and he missed having parties and friends, and having a family. Most hackers were loners and drew inside themselves, afraid of unbarred contact with others.
Apoc was not.
***
"See that one?" Morpheus said, pointing to the screen of Tank's right- most computer while the green and black code dripped down them like runny eggs.
"Blonde, bony, antisocial?" Apoc asked, seeing a picture instead of the myriad lines of symbols.
"Yeah, if you put it that way," Tank said, eyebrows raised. Apoc usually never said much that was so opinionated. The girl in question on the screen was a 'typical' 22-year-old hacker/recluse/crime-lover from NYC, whose **given** name was Jennifer Pytrom and whose **taken** name was Switch. Her **given** person was blonde and beautiful; her **taken** person was ready to kill.
"Looks good. Let's go," Cypher said, walking into the room holding a bunch of disks. "I have our plan here," He added, grinning. Trinity followed him, hands at her sides, looking passive. Something inside told her this was not Switch's day to die.
"May I see those?" Apoc asked and he shoved the disks into the tower of Tank's computer. Schematics popped up and soon Apoc saw how they were going in to get Switch. Through the abandoned hotel, out onto 4th street, and back across an abandoned lot to the back lot of her apartment building. They would climb balconies till the seventh floor, and break the window, take her out and use the fire escape stairs to reach the ground floor of the building again. Then Cypher would pull around with a car, and they'd remove Switch from the area to another abandoned warehouse, where they would complete the whole process.
"Damn near lost the last one," Tank muttered, settling on the headset, and setting the ship's coordinates to a location right in the sector where Switch's real body lay, imprisoned in a tube of filmy green glue and wrapped in incubator wires. By saying the last one, Tank was referring to Cypher- who'd been freed a year ago.
((Author's note: Cypher is completely and utterly loyal at this point in time. He's not got a pole up his ass about Trinity, either, and there is no sign of Neo. I know the name Cypher has a bad connotation, but consider this: he's totally committed to the cause right now.))
"Right," Cypher said, feeling nervous after Tank's comment. But he blinked and he was not in the ship anymore, instead in a cool, dirty room, on the east side of NYC, in a falling apart ex-hotel.
Tank went round jacking in all of the crewmembers: Morpheus, Trinity, Cypher and Apoc. Tank was obviously the operator, while Dozer was in the medical bay getting ready for Switch's arrival.
***
The plan went as it was planned. A few bullets were exchanged upon entry into the apartment building, because Switch's neighbors were easily pissed and generally volatile, but Apoc took care of them with Cypher's help, while Morpheus ran inside with Trinity and hauled Switch out, swearing and kicking. Well all that stopped once Cypher tapped her back a few times with his handgun, indicating silence and compliance were required.
No one saw Apoc's pained look throughout the whole thing. No one was peering into the shadows on the bones of his face when Switch gasped and screamed while she was torn from the matrix and shoved unexpectedly and roughly into the grainy black newness of Reality. And no one saw- not even Dozer- when Apoc had popped into the medical bay and stood, plainly shocked, at the thin delicate lines of Switch's bony form, draped in new light blue medical sheeting. Plainly shocked at his own humanity, and her innocence when she wasn't ranting or snarling or being withdrawn. Plainly shocked at his spying from Tank's monitors and how pictures could never replace real flesh.
He studied her emaciated form… skin stretched tight over cheekbones, brow bones and collar bone, pale and under-toned in blue. Skinny arms, lined palms mostly hidden in fists. White feet stuck out from under the sheet, the bones in her ankles and heels prominent. She had light green eyes and a little bit of yellow hair.
"She'll be awake and up tomorrow," Dozer said meaningfully to Apoc, as they ran into one another in the corridor. Dozer was on his way in and Apoc on his way out. Apoc didn't sleep that night.
And the next morning, as he appeared in the mess hall sort of shoddy looking and unbearably tired, with messy hair tied into a knot at the base of his skull and dark smudges of achiness under his eyes, Switch had her first meal in the real world. She sat between Trinity and Tank, staring angrily at the bowl.
"Oh, ughh. What is this…" Switch said, trailing off. Apoc took notice at her speech. Her voice had a sweet slightly southern lilt to it, but that didn't fool him. He heard an undertone in Switch's voice that could go sour at any moment, like a guitar chord just on the edge of being out of tune.
"Ugh! I second that, coppertop," Cypher said, although he was eating. Purely out of hunger and not fancy. "Morning, Apoc. Didn't sleep too well, did you?" Cypher continued, gesturing with his eating utensil.
"Oh…uh. Yeah, I had a hard night," Apoc said. He felt as if he were being examined, as if someone had pinned him down under a microscope and was probing his brain. Switch was staring at his arms and the side of his face.
"I think I'll go now. I have to start training now," Switch said, went to leave the mess hall after putting her bowl and spork into the sink.
"What did you do?" Trinity said, looking up and fixing her gaze onto Apoc's eyes, a smile hidden beneath her cool exterior.
"Nothing. She's distant, I think," Apoc responded.
"No, she isn't," Trinity said. And Apoc winced.
"Apoc, I know for a fact those extra watches weren't for nothing. You're sparring her today. Better not be gentle," Tank said, winking and grinning.
Later, after Trinity and Apoc had finished fixing the ventilation shaft, and Cypher's watch was done, and Tank had had enough time to cram a series of martial arts training operations into Switch's head, Apoc settled into his chair and Tank jacked him into the Construct.
"This is too white," Switch said. Apoc snapped his fingers, and Tank subsequently turned the floor black and created gray walls. "Much better," Switch said, and struck at him without warning.
"Switch, you're faster than that," Apoc said, calmly, blocking a series of lightning fast punches and stabbing strikes.
"No, I'm not!" Switch said and flipped away. The look on her face was precious, a mixture between a snarl and a surprised tone. Apoc grinned and ran up to her, dealing an uppercut that could've snapped the neck of lesser fighter, but Switch had stepped back just in time and had only received some of the power in the blow.
"I disagree," Apoc continued, kicking and watching Switch block with ease. He sped up and worked harder, and finally he operated at top speed, while she was a hair away from being hit. Her foot slipped, and Apoc spun around in a flying kick that made her duck. But in two seconds he was floor sweeping with his leg, spinning around and knocking her down. She hit her cheek on the wood beneath her feet and spat out blood. Horrified at what he had done, Apoc stepped back, resisting the urge to walk over and pick her up or something.
"That," Switch began, clasping a hand to her cheek, "is gonna hurt like a bitch," she continued, "But then again, so are you." And Apoc found himself beneath his ability on the defensive side, blocking like mad, both thrilled and afraid that he was at the receiving end of Switch's temper.
"Okay! Okay! You win!" Apoc cried, still blocking, but Switch wouldn't slow down. Apoc backed himself into a wall. Switch was relentless. She spun off the wall and threw herself into Apoc gracefully, connecting with him full on. Apoc found he was pinned beneath her, with his back to the floor, both of them tinged red with exertion and breathing hard. "Ow, get off. This was supposed to be sparring," Apoc complained, pushing Switch off him effortlessly. She snarled and muttered,
"Yeah, well, it sure as hell wasn't sparring any longer after you shattered my cheekbone. You deserve being taken down by a rookie, Apoc," Switch sneered.
"Not rookie. Coppertop," Apoc corrected, getting up and finding himself lying on his back in his chair on the Neb, feeling remotely achy and defeated.
"Oh, whatever," Switch said, and went off to eat dinner.
"I think she likes you," Dozer said, catching Apoc with his crookedly happy grin as he tried to ease himself out of the chair.
"Oh, God. Ow! I'm not hungry. Dozer, can you tell the others I'm going to sleep now?" Apoc said, and slowly slunk down the corridor to his room.
***
"This is stupid," Switch said. "Why won't it work out?" She sat at the operator's desk on the Neb, working calculations on one monitor and coding a program for the Construct on the one next to it. Something was missing from the alpha string… "I'd much rather be target practicing right now," Switch muttered. She had a bruise on her cheek.
"Hello."
"What the hell!" Switch shouted and spun around, seeing Apoc loom in on her. He stepped back, a worried expression on his face.
"You alright? Sorry about the training. I didn't mean to hit you…" Apoc said, trailing off when he saw the don't-fuck-with-me look on Switch's face. "Um..."
"I'm fine, despite your fake concern. Your turn," Switch said saucily, making one last change to the program and jumping out of the operator's chair.
"Right. Thanks," Apoc said. Switch sauntered off to her room, but was intercepted on the way by Dozer, who asked her if she could help him in the medical bay.
"Okay, coppertop," Dozer began. "An extra shift- on me, or you, depends who wins this bet- says that Apoc is out there mooning about you," He said, "And that your big-ass attitude is making him sad."
"Hey! Shut up, Dozer," Switch said, a little too loudly. Dozer gestured for her to be quiet. "You piece of crap. Who said you were official matchmaker?" She continued, fiercely whispering.
"God. You're going to give someone frostbite, ice-queen! What wailed on you in that Matrix that you woke up angry instead of confused like most people do?" Dozer asked. Switch's eyes smoldered.
"Hey!"
"Come one, tell me…" Dozer coaxed, grinning,
"Apoc's quiet. And awkward, and shy, and worried, and uninteresting. There's no one for me on the Neb. My past is my own, hear? You stay the hell out of it! I wouldn't tell nobody, not even Morpheus," Switch said, and powerfully strode out of the room.
"Right. Just get pissed. I think poor Apoc will have his heart amputated because you ice-burned him," Dozer said to himself, shaking his head.
"Never a dull moment," Trinity said, walking through the bridge as she heard Dozer muttering and passed Apoc.
"Hmm?" Apoc murmured, speedily finishing the code Switch had been working on before.
"You like her?" Trinity said, examining the lines in her palm.
"No."
"Yes. You do. Don't lie," Trinity said, lips approaching a smile.
"No!" Apoc denied it again.
"Quiet. You like her!" Trinity said, smirking.
"No…" Apoc murmured, his brow creased, a worried expression on his face.
"Oh, come on. So why doesn't she like you?"
"She's distant. And bitter, and unfriendly…and…hot…" Apoc muttered sadly, clasping his hands around his arms.
"Yeah. Well, ask her about her past. And be the nicest even no matter how much she frostbites you," Trinity advised, patting Apoc on the back and heading away.
***
Apoc lay on his lumpy cot, staring at the ceiling, daydreaming. He had three more hours to sleep, and then he had to go relieve Switch from watch.
"God," He muttered and turned over. The room was dark. Someone was walking down the hall. It sounded like Cypher from the careless footsteps, not the soft quiet walk of Trinity or Morpheus.
"Hmm. Hey!" Cypher was banging on his door.
"What? Cypher? Come in?" Apoc shouted, sitting up.
"Hey, I just had an idea," Cypher said. Apoc rolled his eyes. "No, really, this is a good one. I'm going to lure Switch into your room," Cypher continued, smiling and nodding, "I'll just ask her to come over here for a second and then disappear, leaving her alone with you standing here in your doorway." Apoc stared.
"You suck."
"What?" Cypher asked, confused.
"You suck! You're taking this so lightly and you're so fucking good at it!" Apoc hissed, making a face.
"Right, then. I'll just get Switch over here and you two can shack up," Cypher said maliciously, cracking up.
"Hey!" Apoc hissed, following Cypher out the door, nearly missing grabbing his arm. But before Apoc could shut Cypher up-
"Switch!" Cypher shouted, grinning. Horrified, Apoc hurried back to his room.
"What do you want?" Switch shouted back.
"Could you come over here a second?" Cypher asked. Meanwhile, Apoc cowered in his room, hearing every single one of Switch's footsteps as she neared his door.
"Right, I'll be back in a minute," Apoc heard Cypher say, louder and closer.
"What?" Switch said, but didn't start walking. After all, she was subordinate to Cypher. Apoc turned round and peeked out his door.
"Looking at something?" Switch demanded, fearless.
"No…"
"Liar," Switch said, and leaned her weight to one side, tapping her foot on the steel grating below her.
"Why do you hate me?" Apoc asked, and took a single step out his door. He shut it behind him.
"I don't hate you. I hate timidity. Are you this shy in the Matrix?" Switch teased, slightly smiling.
"No. I kick serious ass in the Matrix. But this is the real world…and I hate to tell you, but this is the real Apoc," Apoc said, spreading out his arms and shrugging.
"I see." Switch said without emotion.
"You know, Cypher's not coming back," Apoc said. They both fell silent a minute. "But really. When they pulled me out of the power plant I was confused…and you…you're- you're lethally confident," Apoc continued.
"Because nothing changed for me. You have nice life back in the Matrix?" Switch asked, facetiously snarling.
"Well, yeah, I guess," Apoc said, quietly.
"Mine went somethin' like this," Switch began, tilting her head and fixing Apoc with her gaze. "I ran my ass off-everywhere in the old world. I was wanted in 34 countries, by 34 national security forces, and Interpol too. I was a hacker, a programmer, a fugitive, volatile, fast, and excellent at gun slinging. I was breaking laws like glass plates," Switch continued, chin up and lips curved in a smile, her eyes glimmering. Aoc stood, mouth open in surprise.
"I've been all over the Matrix and felt everything. I've been shot, three times, and survived. I've been through a car crash, a plane crash, and a train accident. I've built bombs, created viruses, emptied entire clips on people, drowned my enemies," Switch continued, lessening the glee as slowly her smile faded. Apoc stood, still staring.
"I've had to kill my brother, lost fights, been caught in war zones…" She trailed off and a dull, soft glow covered her green eyes. She stood perfectly still, silent.
"Um, Switch?" Apoc asked, tapping her arm gently.
"What?" Switch said, suddenly pulling away. The hard light had returned to her eyes.
"I was going to say…you must have been so lonely," Apoc whispered, in a very low voice, barely audible. He looked closely at her, confused.
"Yeah…" Switch responded, her voice cracking. Apoc leaned in closer to her, having a mental battle over whether or not to kiss her. He tried to look into her eyes, but they burned like hot sunken diamonds, so he focused on a spot on the floor. His mouth was a single inch from her cheek; he could smell her hair and skin, and even feel the uncertainty radiating from the both of them.
Then his will broke.
Apoc stepped back and turned away his head, saying, "I've got to go on watch now." The minute he sat down, the screens in front of him began blurring in front of his watery eyes. "Oh, my god. Now she hates me and this will never work out…" He whispered quietly and swiped at his eyes. Slowly the screens focused again, and Apoc began seeing pictures though the descending black-and-green code.
***
Meanwhile, Switch paced in her room. She was off-shift, and supposed to be sleeping, but that wasn't of the most importance right now.
Apoc…right…
Inside her head, a battle ensued. Statements bounced off of the walls from conflicting points of view and echoed acidly inside her head. One side said. go back and fix his daydreams, while the other side argued, over and over…he'll make you weak, he'll make you weak…
And weak was exactly what she was running from. No one no the Neb- with the exception of maybe Apoc- was weak. Morpheus was sleekly ever- prepared, and Trinity was strong, calm and controlled in all situations. Cypher was even deadly in his jest. Statements went right to the bone here in the real world- every look was twice as potent every word was loaded with excess meaning and emotion.
Apoc was shy, and uncertain. He wavered in his choices. He might have a cold stare and a strong grip, but inside his shell of steel there was a core of liquid emotion- love and hate and confusion and trust and betrayal probably, all rolled into one- the core that made his strong physical self very, very weak. Or at least Switch thought. He was so hesitant and timid, unlike Switch, who operated at such intensity that she had to remain distant in order not to implode and break down in tears.
Weakness kills, doesn't it always?
After that, Switch lay down, thinking she'd decided. But an hour later, half asleep and half awake, she began getting visions of alternate endings for the little encounter with Apoc. She saw him kissing her and herself start to cry, she saw him kiss her and get pushed away, she saw him end the conversation before she even got so close to him, she saw Cypher come running back when they stood next to one another like that. She saw the soft color of Apoc's eyes and the confused look on his face, she saw herself slipping into memory and saw him stepping in closely out of the corner of her hazy vision.
She saw her brother's dead body back in the Matrix, her mistaken bullet in his back, and her warm gun caught in the crook of her thumb. She saw the mirrors at Tokyo Airport, and how she'd run from both her own reflection and the law enforcement there. She saw her first meeting with Morpheus, and how when he'd said 'this is all fake' she'd brightened up and immediately drank down the red pill.
And most importantly, she saw the tiny, half-wallet-size photo of her parents- the last one she had gotten away with after they were killed- tucked between the thin, pale blue skin of her wrist and the sleeve of her shirt, secured with a rubber band and a tiny bit of tape. The last picture of them. The last link to the ghosts.
A single tear of pain slipped down her the pale surface of her left cheekbone and fell heavily on the rough brown blanket. **Weakness kills.** The words echoed in Switch's head and she curled up on her bed, fighting back the stronger emotion behind the single tear.
***
"I owe you something," Someone said, and all of a sudden Apoc stood in the doorway, the door gaping open like a fresh wound behind him. Switch distinctly remembered shutting it behind her. Above the two of them the light bulb flickered.
"What?" Switch asked, getting to her feet, caught off guard by everything- by Apoc's appearance, her tear, the past. "Owe me what?"
"This…" Apoc said, and simply strode towards her. He kissed her left cheek very gently, pausing against her for just a fraction of a second, and came away with a wet mouth. "Oh, my god. You've been crying," he said, completely shocked and bewildered. Suddenly he wondered, **What am I doing?! Did I make her cry? What happened? Should I apologize?**
"I'm so sorry…I didn't meant to make you cry...it's just…I…oh, no," Apoc said, shifting his feet, eyes growing sad again.
"Don't be sorry, Apoc," Switch said, sounding exhausted, sighing as she stumbled back towards her bed. Heavily she sat down and placed her elbows on her knees, resting her chin in her hands. "Don't…not your fault," Switch managed to get out hoarsely…before she started sobbing.
Apoc didn't know what to do. Seeing Switch the 'brave and emotionless' crying, curled up like a little girl, right there in front of him was enough to make him want to cry too, but he didn't…for her sake. Instead he sat down next to her and gave her a hug, resting his cheek on her temple.
"Not your fault…" Switch whispered into her wet palms, drawing heat from Apoc's arms and his wide hands resting on her shoulder blades.
***
Apoc left her later that night- after she'd stopped crying and somewhat come to. Wisely he asked no questions and did nothing forward, simply sat with his arm around her until the demons had melted back into the walls once more. He headed back to his room after finishing his watch- Cypher had taken over when he had gone to 'repay' Switch.
"Good morning," Switch said, betraying nothing of the night before when she walked into the full mess hall and poured some slop for breakfast. Morpheus raised an eyebrow when she sat down across from Apoc and locked eyes with him for a second, but aside from that, nothing showed. No one figured anything out- (well, besides everyone else on the ship) until Switch asked for an hour off her Switch and knocked on Apoc's door. She had no time to say anything because Apoc opened the door right when her footsteps stopped; he knew it had been her as soon as she'd entered the hallway.
They stood facing each other just inside the doorway, quite close.
"Déjà vu," Switch said quietly.
"No. Maybe," Apoc said, lips curving into a smile.
"Definitely this isn't déjà vu, Apoc. Because-" She paused, and looked into his eyes briefly, "has never happened before."
And with that she put her hands on the back of his neck, pulled him down, and kissed him like he'd never been kissed in the Matrix. But then again, nothing had ever happened in the Matrix.
Gasping, Apoc slid his arms around her shoulders and kissed her back.
He decided he liked the real world better.
FIN.
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