Somehow, they're here again.
Quietly, Touko takes in the view stretched out below them, and N does nothing but watch her as the Ferris Wheel continues to turn. At the back of his mind, he wonders if the contraption had been renovated since the first time they had been here - it is not at all difficult for him to recall the ceaseless rattling that croaked in the background while the intensity of his confession had sunk in, but now the ride moves soundlessly, and the silence now is nothing like the uncomfortable one that had followed their conversation three years ago. Briefly, her gaze flicks to meet his, and though she is quick to look away with flushed cheeks and a bitten lip, the smallest smile tugs at N's lips.
It's bizarre, reflecting on how much things have changed. Once, they had sat in this same place, but the tension then had been heavy, suffocating them as both tried to grasp their ideals and fates. Then, Touko's drive alluded him completely, as did her bond with Pokemon. Then, perhaps even his own place in the world alluded him, though even now he thinks that would be difficult to admit. It's not as though any of these things have left entirely, however. There is still tension, but it's almost gentle, as it has less to do with their ideals and more to do with their truth. Still, Touko causes his head to spin and his mental formulas to unravel, but it has less to do with her bonds with Pokemon and more to do with her bond with him. Still, N's own place eludes him and he remains too stubborn to admit it, but there is a dull and unfamiliar warm feeling he finds here that wasn't there before.
Perhaps these things have merely evolved into something different?
"I'm sorry," Touko mutters, though N isn't entirely sure whether she's addressing him or not. She sounds bitter, withdrawn, and N finds some sort of pleasure in the fact that he can recognize that this is how she behaves in her few truly honest moments. Her gaze flicks to meet his briefly, her lips pursing as she mulls over what she's about to say. "I should have saved Rosa, myself. But I was... Distracted..."
Distracted by trying to find you.
N misses the unspoken words, though his chuckle is still somewhat nervous and almost flustered. "It's alright; I think it was something that I had to do for myself, anyways." Touko says nothing, merely clenching her fists and turning back to the window as though upset by his response. Did he say something wrong? Perhaps he should have just accepted her apology and forgiven her, or something? His head spins and he can sense that his mental formulas are derailing, but he also senses that there is nothing he can do to stop them. It's vexing, that in the past three years he spent trying to learn to communicate with people, conversing with Touko remains beyond difficult.
"But you had to face him again," Touko whispers, barely audible despite the fact that the Ferris Wheel is much quieter than it was three years ago. Her cheeks are bright red as she adds, "AndIcouldn'tprotectyou."
N frowns. "Pardon?"
Gritting her teeth, Touko hisses, "It's nothing. Never mind." It seems wrong to let the topic slide like that, but N hesitantly complies, looking down at his lap while Touko looks back to the view yet again. At the back of his mind, N wonders why every Ferris Wheel ride he takes with Touko seems to lead to awkwardness. That, and why the ride seems to last so long.
Not that he minds the latter; he does love Ferris Wheels, after all.
Before he fully comprehends what he's thinking, N foolishly states, "I'm sorry I led to you leave your home for so long." Finally, her gaze flicks back to him, her brow raised and lips curved downwards. It's odd, how he always finds his gaze lingering on either her lips or her hands.
"It's not like you asked me to," she replies tartly, though N notices that her hands have uncurled and now her fingers nervously drum against her knees. "I wanted to find you. Just because, you know, it felt weird without you around." There's a moment of silence, and her hands are fists again as she hastily adds, "Because we're, um, counterparts. That's what Reshiram says, anyways." N nods, and he misses how Touko's shoulders sink somewhat at his complete gullibilty.
"I think I felt somewhat similar," N admits. "Counterparts... Zekrom never mentioned anything like that. She just giggled and refused to elaborate." Then again, it makes sense for the Dragon of Truth to be more frank and honest. Not that this makes Zekrom's antics any more tolerable, but...
Touko reddens, coughing awkwardly. "Er, right. Um..." The smallest smile tugs at her lips, though she is quick to turn to the window in some attempt to hide it. "I'm glad. Er, that you felt similarly." N nods, and the silence that lingers is much more comfortable than any of the previous ones.
"It's weird," Touko murmurs thoughtfully a few minutes later, just as N is beginning to wonder about the length of this ride again. "Being back, I mean." N smiles softly with a slight nod, following her gaze to take in Unova himself. It's odd, he decides; before he had left, he can't really recall having any particular feeling of belonging in his birth region, but... Now, there's a quiet and alien thrum in his heart, and he wonders if this is how it feels to be home. Finally, the throbbing ache of missing something is finally gone, and as the corner of his gaze trains itself on the brunette sitting across from him, he wonders if it is the Ferris Wheel, the region, or his "counterpart" that makes him feel as though he's where he belongs.