It Was Dark Out

Mr. Gold had noticed a few times during the past month that his eyesight wasn't quite what it used to be, especially when driving at night. He meant to go and see an eye doctor, maybe get a pair of glasses, but with his wedding and the turmoil the return of Marian had thrown everyone into as well as the town suddenly going without power because the backup generator was frozen, he hadn't had time. And with the freezing temperatures, Belle had developed a cold and asked him to pick her up some cold medicine. So here he was driving back from the pharmacy when all of a sudden all the street lights went out.

Damn piece of junk generator! It's always going out at the worst time! You think Regina would have installed a better one!

He began to drive slower, squinting in the near pitch dark.

Suddenly something ran out in front of his car.

Rumple braked frantically but it was too late.

He saw a glimpse of something pointed, like a deer's antler, before he hit it.

Damned deer! What the hell was it doing in the middle of the street? This isn't mating season!

The limp form lay in the road, a patch of slightly less inky blackness.

Gold got out of his Cadillac, swearing and hoping the damned animal didn't put a dent in his antique car otherwise he'd resurrect it from the dead and run it over again on principle.

He checked the car, it seemed undamaged.

Then he turned to see to the deer, pulling out his cell phone to call and report the accident. But it rang and rang and no one picked up. Where the hell was Emma?

He looked down at the dead buck. And saw to his astonishment it wasn't a deer at all . . it was Hook!

Several hours later,

Storybrooke General Hospital:

"He's still in surgery, Emma. There was a blow to the head . . .and some really bad brain trauma," a nurse explained.

"How . . how bad?"

"The doctor won't know until the swelling goes down some. But it doesn't look good. If he wakes up . . he could be totally disabled or . . . "

"He already is disabled!"

"I mean mentally . . .or he could just remain a vegetable," the nurse said. "I'm sorry."

She left and Emma whirled on Gold, who had a white foam collar around his neck since he had gotten whiplash from hitting Hook. "How come you didn't see him, Gold?"

"Well . . . Emma, it was dark out . . . ."

"You didn't see his hook shining?"

"In the pale moonlight? I thought it was an antler! And by the time I could even see he was in front of me it was too late!" Gold protested.

"You really didn't know it was him?"

"No! I thought it was a deer looking for a mate!"

"He was looking . . for me . . . "

"And he didn't remember to look both ways before crossing the street?"

"Umm . . .this is Storybrooke. Not too much traffic . . .and it was at night . . ." Emma began lamely.

"AND he was wearing black! In the pitch dark! How was I supposed to see him?" objected Rumple. "By his pearly white smile?"

He shook his head. Damned anachronistic pirates who were too stupid to practice proper safety procedures when crossing the street!

"Look, dearie, sorry I can't stay ad hold your hand but Belle's at home sick and I have to get her this medicine . . ."

Emma gaped at him. "You just ran Hook over! Don't you care?"

"Of course I care. He put a dent in my Cadillac's grill. Hope you have $500." He turned to leave.

"That's it?" Emma cried, outraged. "You're not even going to say you're sorry?"

Gold spun back around, aggravated. "Yes, I am sorry, Miss Swan! Sorry that he wasn't a deer so I could get some compensation from my insurance company! Hitting a deer is considered an unfortunate accident! Hitting a drunken pirate now . . . that's considered a putting an animal out its misery!" I wake up every morning with a good attitude and by the end of the day idiots have happened and ruined everything!

Then he stalked out of the hospital, leaving Emma fuming behind him.

And so the spinning wheel of fate turns in Storybrooke . . .