Hi there! So this is it, my first published fan fiction ever. English is not my mother tongue, so be aware that there may be some errors or typos.

After I watched The Weigh Station episode, I couldn't stop thinking: what was in Jay's head during the time he was "held captive" by J.P.? So I went for a walk in a park and I tried to look at the situation through Jay's eyes and express what he might have felt.

Let me know what you guys think about this! So here we go, chapter 1 is here:

Choices. Don't we all have them?

Decisions are never easy. But if the human's life is the matter of decision… There's always only one choice. The right one.

I've seen the look on Voight's face when I made J.P. close the deal. For the first time, since I joined intelligence, I felt that he cares. I felt he may be concerned about me, about my safety. But maybe he was just scared that something will go wrong, so he would have to take the responsibility? Who knows. I haven't been thinking so much about it.

If I told you I wasn't scared, I would lie. At first I have been thinking about the consequences, but when the cold metal of the handcuffs touched my skin, it was like… Adrenaline was pumped into my body. I may have even shivered for a moment. If I am the one who has gun in hands, I've got the feeling I'm safe and I'm in control of the situation. Having been held captive, even if it was just a setup, made me helpless.

The worst of all was the fact that I couldn't see. When J.P. took me out of that car I just had to trust him, believe he knows what he's doing. Believe he's not fooling us. Yeah, maybe I should make my hobby of it - my life in hitman's hands? Sounds like fun.

Million thoughts in my head conducted dizziness. I signed myself for this, I had to focus on the task real quick. But lying outside on the car was the most challenging task in my undercover career. Why? Lack of trust for your "partner", practically no backup (if Shostak just shot me from one of the blocks, no one would have a chance to protect me) and the eyes closed - no control over the situation. Getting back to the car made me feel a bit safer. Till the picture was sent. That was like a death sentence to me. My life versus his son life. That kind of choice you make in two seconds. And do not regret making it.

So I had to make use of that two seconds.

A/N: So, that's the first part of the story. We all know what has happened next on the screen, but what the screen can't show is the character's thoughts. If you are still willing to read Halstead's reflections during the episode, you can leave me a note in a review, which will give me more courage to post another chapter! Thank you very, very much for reading! Have a great day! :)