Judge a Book

"I'm cold!" One of the two men sitting in the immobile car whined, brushing a hand across the short stubble along his jawline.

"Well, tough." His annoyed companion retorted curtly, wrapping his arm around himself to retain a little of the warmth he had.

The two sat in relative silence for another ten minutes since they stopped moving. They were keeping an eye on the apartment complex across the road and so far, no noteworthy movement. The stoic man glanced at his companion and watched him blow out a bored breath. He braced himself for the man's spoiled complaints. "Arthur!" the man groaned in despair, "I am decidedly bored!"

Arthur's jaw tightened and he rolled his eyes. "You couldn't bring a book along, or something?"

Eames pouted at Arthur like he had expected the man to know him a little better. "What kind books do you think a man like me reads?"

Arthur sighed, but decided to humor the forger. "I don't know, The Complete Idiot's Guides?"

Eames jutted his bottom lip out another inch. "I'm hurt, darling."

Arthur sent him a mock-surprised look. "No?" Eames frowned at him. "What about... For Dummies?"

"Now you're just being mean!" Eames groaned accusingly. "You wouldn't suggest those things for Ariadne, would you?"

Arthur tilted his head a little, a contemplative look crossing his face. "No... she seems more like a Nicholas Sparks type."

Eames furrowed his brow. "Does she?"

"Doesn't she?" Arthur was quick to reply, question for question.

"What about Yusuf, then?" Eames wondered aloud. "The Cartoon Guide to Chemistry, perhaps?"

Arthur let out a snorting chuckle. "Not familiar with the title." he admitted, much to Eames's elation. "What about Cobb, then?"

"Cobb..." Eames trailed off, deep in thought.

"Cobb's..." Arthur wracked his mind for a good book. "...not really easy to pin a book on."

Eames nodded his agreement. "Can't argue with you there." he sighed in defeat. "Saito?"

"Competitive Strategy: Techniques for Analyzing Industries and Competitors." was Arthur's quick, confident, and fantastically deadpanned response. Eames had to laugh.

"Can't say I've ever heard of that book before." Arthur smiled at him patronizingly. "But, taking the title into consideration, I wouldn't be surprised if Saito had a hand in writing it."

They chuckled for a moment and Arthur brought a pair of small binoculars to his face. Eames watched him thoughtfully. "What about you, then?" he asked. "What does the mysterious Pointman Arthur read in his idle moments?"

Arthur pulled the binoculars away from his eyes and smiled cryptically at Eames. "Wouldn't you like to know?" And then he resumed watching the apartment.

"It's not really hard to imagine, though." Eames smiled, picking at Arthur's sleeve to regain his attention. "You sitting curled up by the fireplace in the Winter, with a cup of coffee, reading and crinkling your usually flawless suit."

Arthur sent him an unreadable look. "You have a discomfortingly vivid imagination."

Eames wagged his eyebrows. "I know." Arthur snorted and tried to carry out surveilance again. "But really," Eames persisted, "what do you read?"

Arthur looked around the car in puzzlement, then he spoke to Eames, ignoring his question. "By the way, was there a point to this dream, Eames? I seem to have missed it completely."

Eames's eyes widened, his mouth dropping open a fraction. When did Arthur realize? Arthur smirked at his expression and, placing two fingers under Eames's chin, closed it. "Damn it!" Eames exclaimed in frustration.

Arthur's warm laugh pealed out through the empty silence outside the car.

They woke up to find Cobb still in the middle of his lecture, teaching Saito and Ariadne the importance of realizing that you're in a dream. There was always the danger of secrets being extracted from them by other teams of extractors. Yusuf was standing by Eames's reclining chair with a timer. "Well, that lasted only one minute and twenty-five seconds!" Arthur grinned at the forger triumphantly. "Well done!"

"You couldn't tell me I was going to be used for an impromptu dreamsharing class experiment?" Arthur asked Eames gruffly, jerking his head in Cobb's direction.

"And ruin the surprise?" Eames beamed back. "Besides, Yusuf and I made a bet. He bet that you'd realize you were dreaming before the five minutes were up."

"Then," Arthur smiled at him. "that means you must owe Yusuf money." Eames forked over the money reluctantly.

Arthur stood up and stretched. "Well, if that's all, I'll be off."

Eames glanced at his watch. "It's late." He jumped up to join Arthur out.

"Arthur!" Yusuf called after them, causing them both to turn. "How did you know it was a dream?"

Eames turned to Arthur expectantly. "Well," Arthur responded slowly. "I always bring books on stake-outs."

Eames raised his hand guiltily. "My fault." And the two resumed their trip home. "So, what kind of books do you read?"

"More importantly, what kind of books does Cobb read?" Arthur wondered, evading Eames's question.

"I think he just sticks with newspapers and the occasional reading to the kids."

Arthur nodded. "It's not unlikely."

"You're trying to distract me, arn't you?"

"It was worth the shot."

"I think you might be a John Grisham fan."

"I might."

"Sherlock Holmes?"

"Maybe."

"You're not going to say 'yes' or 'no', are you?"

"Nope."

Yusuf shook his head with a sigh. Only Arthur and Eames could entertain themselves with a conversation about books.

The End