Emma's Song

by Andthentherewasmel

Wrote this whilst struggling with a lot of things going on in my life, when I wasn't coping with everything and I didn't want to go on. I know it's not inspirational or anything, but I very much see it as the part of me that created Emma, that hopeful part that someday it'll finally get better, finally speaking out. This is Emma's philosophy.

watch?v=6CJ96LGGP6w Listen to this whilst reading! :D

Wrote this whilst struggling with a lot of things going on in my life, when I wasn't coping with everything and I didn't want to go on. But then my dog came and curled up next to me in the sunlight that was coming through into my room through the blinds whilst my dad sung downstairs and I realised for a moment that I was okay. In that moment, I was okay, and even though I was crying, it was still okay. My dog doesn't understand why I was crying, but he understands sadness, and he made me understand happiness through just the simplest of things. Being with me.

I hope you enjoy this, I know it's not inspirational or anything, but I very much see it as the part of me that created Emma, that hopeful part that someday it'll finally get better, finally speaking out. This is Emma's philosophy. This is how she lives. How one day, I can live.

Emma's Song.

One day, I might wake up- and perhaps see the sun through the blinds, and my arm will have gone numb from sleeping on it all night.

One day, I might peer endlessly into the crack of the blinds where the sun gleams through like gold onto my face, which might be darker by then; perhaps more freckled, I wouldn't know, and I might smile to myself at the new day embracing me.

I might perhaps spend some time with the sun on my face, and I might wonder about things that we're meant to wonder about.

How we got here, what is the meaning of all of this, and I might just back at my life and wonder what I have accomplished.

I might think to myself, when did it all go wrong? Or maybe I will think to myself- it's been okay.

Yeah...It's been okay.

I might hear the gurgles of my child or the broodish music of my teenager. I might hear the rumble of my partner, or whatever they are, snoring from beside me.

Maybe I will lie alone, content in my own bed.

Maybe the phone will buzz excitedly as something extravagently important enters my life, perhaps a friend will have great news. Perhaps a friend will bring me news that will never leave me. Perhaps my friend will have left me forever, and that text will be the signal to let go.

Maybe I will have let go, maybe the pain will have left. Maybe it won't.

But! Maybe I shouldn't be looking at the maybes. I should be looking at what will happen.

I will wake up tommorow, and I will achieve at least one thing.

I will breathe. I will.

I will live.

I will die.

And I will not just exist on maybe and perhaps.

Becuase to live and die rather than just exist, you have to do things. Otherwise, your whole life- our whole lives, will be nothing more than another great perhaps we never got to explore.

-Andtheretherewasmel