Ok, so I was looking over my stories and I realized I don't have one centered on my little Carlos. Well, I'm going to have to fix that! Of course, you know me, and I can't have a story without angst, so here's what I got! I've been working on this for a while and I hope you all like!
Disclaimer: If BTR was mine, which it isn't, it would be a drama. Not a kid's show.
"The most terrible poverty is the feeling of being unloved."—Mother Theresa.
"Mommy! Papi!" Carlos yelled into the phone.
"Carlos, honey, we can't talk right now," Mrs. Garcia said, sounding very stressed and tired. "The baby's crying, Lilly's sick, Peter can't find his shoes, Rhonda has soccer practice, Will has a book report due tomorrow, I need to get dinner started, and your father needs to head off to work. We can't talk!"
Listening more closely, Carlos could hear lots of noise in the background coming from his many siblings. "But—"
"No buts!" Mrs. Garcia cut him off. "I'll have to talk to you later!"
"You say that every time!" Carlos whined.
"Carlos, sweetie, I'm sorry, but I am just too busy right now!"
Carlos felt tears well up in his eyes as he slammed the phone down. This happened every time he called home. Every time! His mom and dad were always busy with his other brothers and sisters. Wasn't Carlos just as important as they were? Why couldn't his parents make time for him?"
It's always been like this. Carlos being the oldest child in the Garcia family, he didn't get much attention. Why was that? When was it Carlos' time? Why couldn't his parents love him the way they loved little baby Lisa or cute little Peter? Why wasn't his hockey as important as Rhonda's soccer or his report as important as Will's?
Carlos loved his big family, he truly did. He loved the way his dad beamed when he talked about Carlos and his accomplishments and how his mother made his favorite kind of cake from scratch every year on his birthday. He loved the pictures Peter drew for him and how Rhonda always came to him when someone from school was picking on her and she needed help. He loved the way Will looked up to him and that he was one of the few people who could get little Lisa to stop crying in the middle of the night. Yes, Carlos loved his big family and he knew they loved him back.
But that still didn't stop Carlos from wanting a bit more attention. Why couldn't, just once, Carlos be more important than his other siblings? Was that too much to ask?
Looking at the phone, Carlos quickly wiped the tears from his eyes. Crying wouldn't solve anything. Crying wouldn't make his parents love him more. He sighed and crawled into his bed and underneath the covers. He closed his eyes and laid there for about twenty minutes, thinking that he could do this forever and not have a problem with it. Just then, Carlos heard the bedroom door open.
"Carlos!" he heard Logan call out. "Kendall, James, and I are going to head down to the pool. You coming?"
Carlos peeked out from under the covers. He saw Logan standing by the door wearing swim trunks, a tank top, and a huge smile. Carlos sighed and shook his head, no.
Logan's smile disappeared and was quickly replaced with a frown and a look of concern. "Why not, buddy?"
"Oh, I, uh, I… don't feel good," Carlos lied, looking around the room nervously.
Logan made his way over to Carlos. He put his head on Carlos' forehead and frowned. "You don't feel warm. What hurts?"
My heart, Carlos thought. "My… stomach and... my head hurt… real bad."
Logan didn't look convinced. He saw right through Carlos' façade. "What's really wrong, Carlos?"
"I told you! I just don't feel good!"
Logan shook his head. "Carlos, we've been best friends since kindergarten. I can tell when something's bothering you! Now, what is it?"
Carlos sighed. There was no use lying if Logan already had him figured out. "I called home."
Logan felt a sense of dread wash over him, but said nothing about it. "And?"
"The baby's crying, Lilly's sick, Peter can't find his stupid shoes, Rhonda has soccer practice, Will has some book report, dinner needs to be made, and Dad has to go to work," Carlos said in a mimicking, mocking tone. "No one had any time for me as always."
Logan sat down on Carlos' bed and wrapped him in a hug. Carlos buried his head in Logan's chest, let out a sob, and whimpered, "Why aren't I important?"
Logan rubbed circles on Carlos' back. "You are important, Carlos! Your family loves you to pieces. How could they not? You're funny and sweet and always thinking of others…"
"Well, what's wrong with me? There has to be something wrong since they don't care about me."
"Carlos Roberto Garcia, don't you even think that!" Logan turned Carlos' head so they were looking at each other in the eye.
"Look at me. Listen to me. There is nothing wrong with you! You hear me? There is nothing wrong with you. You are one of the funniest people I have ever seen, and you are sweet as can be. You would do anything for your friends, even if it does something bad to you. You put everyone you meet in front of yourself. You wouldn't hurt a fly, and you're so unique in a way that makes you, you. You love life and take whatever it throws at you and turn it into something good. You are so special, Carlos. You are our friend. Why can't you see that?"
"If I'm so great, then why can't anyone in my own family make time for me?"
"Carlos, I'm sure that's what they want more than anything in the world! They are so lucky to have a son and brother like you. They are all so proud of you. I've heard your parents brag about you, Carlos. They get this sparkle in their eyes and they just… glow. You mean the world to them."
Carlos felt hot tears rolling down his face. "But then why do they care more for my brothers and sisters?"
Logan smiled sadly at Carlos' innocence. "That's not it all, buddy. They trust you to be on your own more. They trust that you know right from wrong and that you don't need them as much. It's not that they don't love you, Carlos; it's not that at all. It's just that… your brothers and sisters are needier right now that you are. It's not that they don't love you as much as them or as much, you just don't need them as much."
"Well, now how would they know that? Who says I don't need them?"
"That's true, you have a point. They don't see how much you need them too. But you have to remember how… hectic and stressed it can get in your house. Your parents have five kids to take care of at home, plus worry about you who is five whole states away from them. They both must be exhausted. You shouldn't blame them."
Carlos looked at Logan in a thoughtful manner. "I never thought of it that way. I guess I'm not the only one who needs them, aren't I?"
"No, you're not."
Carlos paused for a moment, and then said in a soft voice, "They really do love me, huh?"
"Carlos, they love you more than you'll ever know."
"Even more than corndogs?"
Logan chuckled. "Even more than all the corndogs in the entire world!"
Carlos beamed. "I think I might be ready to go to the pool now."
Logan helped Carlos up. "We'll meet you down there."
Logan turned to leave, but Carlos grabbed his arm to stop him. "Logan? Thanks for being there. It means a lot to me to know you and Kendall and James will never leave me."
"Carlos, we could never leave you. We love you way too much. You're stuck with us for life, whether you like it or not."
Carlos chuckled. "I think I can live with that."
Logan smiled and Carlos watched him leave the room. He pulled out his swimming trunks and a shirt, but then sat back down on his bed. He reached over a grabbed a picture that was resting on his nightstand. It was of him and his entire family. He smiled as he looked at each face and traced it with his finger. They love him, he knew that. And he loves them right back.
And although his parents might not always have the time for him, he knows one thing that will never change. Kendall, James, and Logan will always be there to support him, to hold him up. They will always have the time to play or talk or listen to him ramble. They are his brothers. His real family made be hundreds of miles away and out of time, but the brothers he has right here aren't going anywhere.
And there we have it! My first Carlos story! What do you all think? I tried to have Carlos feel neglected, but I didn't want to make his family seem like the bad guys either. I also wanted to have a little Carlos/Logan friendship fluff. I worked really hard on this, and I'm pretty happy with the outcome. I hope you all are too.
So if you guys could review this for me, it would mean the world. Reviews make me feel so good and they keep me going. So, if you could take just a few minutes and review, I'll be forever grateful!
