Summary:adj : not admitting of passage or capable of being affected. The tale behind a team's photo. Read and Review.
I'd say this story is PreShippuden and I may have taken some liberties (hopefully nothing terrible) and I've been in the mood for this kind of genre and style. By the way, I've added dots because FFnet does things to the format...*sigh*
To be honest, I was reading some unfinished stuff and I was surprised when I saw that I began writing this story on December 30th, 2010. I'd been adding notes to this, but I didn't think that I hadn't finished this in almost a year so here it goes.
Please review, reviews are good for the soul.
December 11th:
To anonymous reviewers:
xxGrayxx : Hi. Thanks a lot for reviewing. I'm glad you liked the story. I guess you're right and I must admit I was surprised by your comment because it was focused on one character so I hadn't seen it that way. Thanks for letting me know, that's the interesting thing about reviews. Have a nice day!
Enjoy!
Impervious
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The tale behind a photograph.
i. A young artist…
because simplicity is complex
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He is a child and he secretly marvels at the way his kikaichu move and dance and change of shape.
So many ways to move
So many shapes to take
So many things to create
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And he feels like an artist whose canvas is the world.
(He pretends to ignore the way others flinch or cringe or shudder in disgust. He tells himself that maybe he is a misunderstood artist)
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His kikaichu buzz faintly when his father tilts his head. The noise turns louder when Aburame Shino realizes that his father is pleased that he can find contentment with such simple things.
.
Simplicity is complex.
(He fails to understand that there is another reason for Aburame Shibi to be happy. He might understand it when he realizes that he might never be human in others' eyes.)
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Ignorance is bliss.
ii. One day you will learn about walls
one day you will learn to pretend
Time passes and when he starts spending more time at the Academy and less at home, Shino learns why his mother insisted so much on talking about walls and shields and armors. He learns why she reminds him every single day about keeping control.
"We are Aburame, Shino."
And she says this with a voice full of pride and a dark glare that would send shivers to a Hyuuga.
"Do not forget it."
(And the brief, rare smile that appears on Aburame Shibi's face does not go unnoticed by Shino).
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So when he eats his lunch and the careless chitchat begins, he pretends.
He pretends not to hear, not to listen.
Pretend, pretend to be deaf.
"Isn't he creepy?"
He pretends to be deaf.
(He lowers his chopsticks for a second, his lunch box doesn't seem so tasty anymore)
"I saw him talking with spiders and cockroaches! With cockroaches! Ew!"
"Do you think he eats them?"
Deaf.
"Yep! Definitely gross! I bet he hides them in his clothes!"
"Is he even human?"
Just remember.
(Do anything, anything, anything to keep control)
(Not for the sake of others but for yours)
.
iii. Bent but not Broken
because you understand (and it makes your chest hurt)
It's one of those days.
One of those days when he cannot pretend to be deaf and he can only glare whoever gets in his way.
When you can't pretend to be deaf, sew your lips lest you taint the name of Aburame, lest you taint the name of those who love you.
And it is frustrating.
He has just watched his father save a toddler from certain death.
The payment is not even a fake smile and he doesn't have to be a shinobi to recognize what he sees in the child's mother.
Sometimes…
Sometimes he wonders how the rest of his clan can be impervious.
Sometimes he wonders when he'll be like them…
Because it is always the same.
Aburame Shino can't help but remember the glances, the whispers that speak of nothing but disrespect, fear, mistrust, revulsion.
Deep inside, he knows that they'll always be present with other faces and voices.
(This people. He'll fight for them someday and they'll still see him as a monster)
Nothing will change.
And yes, he knows that he must get used to that kind of reactions, to that kind of responses.
(Because nothing will change, nothing will change)
But it is not fair, but it is not fair.
And maybe, maybe, maybe his brooding is a quiet rebellion.
Shibi, serene Shibi, doesn't comment. He doesn't comment because Shino is young, inexperienced.
(And maybe, maybe, maybe he says nothing because deep down, he still sees him as a child).
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iv. Beware the fairy tales
but do not fear them
He expects almost nothing.
Not really.
.
He's learned not to expect or hope silly things.
Not anymore.
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He's not blind, he's not deaf.
Even if he continues to pretend.
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He is not a fool.
(He's not like his cousin, the one that hoped to befriend the children in the park, only to be utterly rejected.
Or like his uncle, the one whose wife left him as soon as she could, the one whose son grows alone and motherless.)
He considers himself to be able to see with clear eyes, to know that hatred is more common than love, to recognize the poison that lies and false smiles carry.
.
Because…
He knows, he knows, he knows how others see him.
FreakMonsterMistake
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A husk that looks like a human.
Nothing more, nothing less.
.
That's why Shino bewares the fairytales.
At most, he expects things as a shinobi.
Not as a human.
.
He doesn't expect them to be his friends.
Not really.
.
Allies.
Nothing more, nothing less.
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Because Shino simply doesn't believe in fairy tales.
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So when he learns that Inuzuka Kiba and Hyuuga Hinata would be his teammates, he expects them to be his allies.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Because he knows, he knows, he knows that if he expects something, he will only end up making a fool of himself.
There isn't even hope to begin with.
Not really.
But…
Even Aburame Shino has to admit that he doesn't find their company unpleasant.
Not really…
If anything, it's a refreshing change. (Not that he'll admit it, he is proud of being an Aburame)
They are so unlike him. (Or so he thinks, or so he wants to believe)
Yes, their company isn't unpleasant.
Hyuuga Hinata is meek and gentle and insecure.
(But she holds him in high regard and is always kind to him)
Inuzuka Kiba is loud and wild and impulsive.
(But he's loyal and competitive, he could be a good challenge)
They are everything he isn't.
Carefree, open, readable.
And he surprises himself when he realizes that he doesn't mind at all.
.
v. And you realize you were mistaken
and you have never been happier
Time passes once again.
(The clock never stops and the calendar loses pages)
.
Another day, another mission, another enemy to fight.
And he berates himself for taking his teammates' presence for granted.
(He should've known better)
.
And there's a moment, a fleeting moment before a kunai strikes him, that makes him wonder if he really wants to die like this.
He's not scared, but regretful.
.
Should he have tried to be a participant instead of an observer?
Because he's spent his life living in shadows, watching from afar.
Always watching and wanting, but never living, reaching out, experiencing
(Existing but not living)
.
And it is then when help appears a breath before it's too late.
And he's never been happier to see Kiba and Hinata there…
…for him…
And they're so easy, too easy to read.
Concern and relief and something that he's seen in others' eyes before (something that was never meant for him).
And it's in that moment when he realizes that he is human in their eyes.
.
He is Human as in
HumanFriendWanted
And he is no longer
FreakMonsterMistake
(And how could he have missed all the signs?
How could he have been so blind?)
.
And the sky has never been so blue and the grass has never been so green.
.
vi. Memento
A reminder of the good times
There is a new calendar on his wall and a frame now stands on a wooden desk, waiting for a picture to fill the blank space.
The picture is taken on a sunny day with cloudless skies.
A common day, anyone would say and Shino would not disagree enough.
(That would be the first time that he would appear in a photo with someone that's not an Aburame, the first of many…)
.
In the photograph, Team Kurenai appears.
Yuuhi Kurenai, Inuzuka Kiba, Hyuuga Hinata, Aburame Shino and Akamaru.
Team Kurenai.
(And somehow it sounds and feels like family).
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They all have their unique smiles.
(His is almost unnoticeable but it's there, almost completely covered by the jacket, but it is there).
.
Kurenai and Kiba and Hinata and Akamaru smile openly, without reserve.
Shino's smile is a small, thin curve but it has equal heart and warmth.
.
Kurenai and Kiba and Hinata and Akamaru have smiled at him more than once by now
(and he treasures those smiles for theirs aren't meaningless curves)
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Kurenai and Kiba and Hinata and Akamaru have shown him they like him, accept him
(and by now, he no longer wonders if he's a fool for believing them)
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He is Aburame Shino
And he is Not FreakMonsterMistake
He is Aburame Shino
HumanFriendWanted
.
.
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