Handle withCare

Handle with Care Summary, Bella is the new foster child of Carlisle and Esme Cullen, they aren't able to have children after Esme had her sixth miscarriage they got told if Esme got pregnant one more time she'd be putting her life in danger. So they did the next best thing, fostering a teenage girl, At the age of fourteen Bella hasn't had the best start in life, her mother had her at a young age but then decided drugs, drink and partying wasmore appealing than being a mother, Bella was thrown from one foster home to another, Though she has a secret no one else can know.

Rated M for Eating Disorders.

A/N, I hate long author notes etc, so I'm going to make this quick, I use to suffer from an ED so I do know what I'm talking about, I do not intend this to be a trigger for anyone, so please if you are in recovery I'd rather you found something else to read I don't want to be the reason why you slipped at the final gate, I will be using a Anorexia's way of thinking so here are some things to help you through this story,

HW- Highest weight
LW-Lowest weight
CW-Current eight
GW-Goal weight
UGW- Ultimate goal weight

Purging- Forcing yourself to be sick usually by ramming your fingers down your throat.
Jugging/Chugging Water- Drinking alot of water in a space of minutes, mainly before your going to get weighed so it looks like you've put weight on.
Chew&Spit- Basically as it sounds chewing the food then spiting it out, usually into a cup of water.
Safe food - Food that has zero calls, such as celery
Like I said above I'm not writing this to make someone think this is a right thing to do, you will basically kill yourself with this disorder, I'm only writing this as, the story came to me while I was sleeping anyways on with the show & I do not own Twilight though this storyline is all mine

Chapter one.

Bella's Point of View

Staring at the scales in the bathroom I ran my fingers through my hair before stepping off them and hiding them in the suitcase under my bed then pulled out my journal that was sitting on top of my bed side table under lock and key. Popping the lock on the front I flipped through the pages before I came to a blank page. Picking up my pen I clicked the top so the point came out of hiding and began to write.
Friday,26th February 2006

Cw- 87
Hw-109
Lw-70
Gw1-80
Gw2-77
Gw3-70
Ugw-67

I still haven't lost enough weight, over the weekend and all the exercise I did I manage to lose 3.1/2lbs I can still see all the fat around my body clinging to my bones, suffocating me making me feel like I can't breathe. Maybe I can see about joining the cross country team at my new high school, I start today so hopefully I can make it on the team without people chanting there goes the elephant.
Food is still scary, Esme made chicken curry with noodles, I read the packets contents when she wasn't looking all together I consumed 550 calories from that meal and I worked out for three hours last night to make up for it, maybe I can skip breakfast this morning and then lunch will be easy I can just grab a bottle of water and have a cigarette outside of school grounds what they don't know won't hurt them right ?

I think I'm going to bring my daily calories intake down today to make up for last night meal, instead of 600 I'm bringing it down to 200 then with a four hour work out after school, breaking it up of course so Esme or Carlisle don't get a chance to think something's wrong with me, I'm living with a doctor now, how ironic eh?, but don't worry Ana. It's you and me together in this.

Well, Ana I need to go get ready for school, until I write again.

B x

Placing the padlock back on my journal I slipped it under my pillow then got changed, it was cold today or maybe that was just me, I'd been shivering for the past few days but that was good it meant I was burning calories that my body didn't need. Unfolding the clothes that sat neatly on my bed I pulled on my long-sleeved turtle neck shirt then my skinny jeans and did up the belt. Looking in the mirror I saw the legs and waist of my jeans where baggy and I smiled slightly. Least I was losing weight I was on my way to perfection, but I didn't know how far away I was, Placing my arms through my Leather jacket I zipped it up then slang my bag over my shoulder after checking my packet of cigarettes where hidden in one of the side pockets and made my way down stairs to see a cheerful Esme in the kitchen cooking breakfast, Putting my bag on the floor next to the table I headed to the fridge and took out a bottle of bottle and then the fruit salad Esme had made for desert the night before. Taking a cup off the rack I filled it with water from the bottle and took it and the bowl of fruit over to the table. Esme followed suite with her cup of coffee and plate of pancakes she already knew I couldn't have eggs as I just came out in rash, so at least I could get out of having pancakes, horrible disgusting things that they were just waiting to clog your arteries up with all the fat that was in them, you'd be better injecting it straight into your system. Taking a piece of apple I started to chew on it while Esme got herself settled and opened the news paper to see what boring stuff was in it. Placing this cup to my lips I pretended to take a drink and used my tongue to spit the food partials into the water that was contained in the ceramic walls.

"Morning dear." Emse spoke with a cheerful tone and had a small smile on her face, like she had for the past couple of days.

"Morning Esme, Am I getting a lift to school today or do I need to get the bus?" I asked her while going back to my chewing and spiting routine. Running my fingers through my hair I watched as the bowl was now empty and the cup contained the remains of the stuff that would of filled my stomach if I actually chose to eat it. Getting up I made my way over to the sink and started to wash the cup and bowl out so I could hide the evidence, Placing them on the the drying rack I go another cup and filled it with the coffee that had been freshly made, One way to curb the hunger pains for a little while, tho I welcomed hunger it was the sign that I hadn't failed not yet anyway.

"I can take you to school dear I need to head to Port Angeles anyways to get some supplies for your room, is there anything you need straight away, as most of the stuff like drawers, bed carpet etc will need to be ordered." Esme replied and started to eat her pancakes, as they were now cool enough, I was amused at the way people ate things that will kill you, why bother I mean were only giving one body why destroy it?

I just shook my head, there wasn't anything I needed well there was but it'd be easy enough to get myself, I couldn't ask her for a note book and pretend it was for school since I already had one for each subject and they where brand new yet I was running out of space in my journal to Ana.

"Nope, I'm good but you don't need to go to the trouble, the room is fine the way it is, seriously I'm grateful enough in most foster homes you have to share so having a room to myself is a luxury." I let a small laugh escape my lips. Esme just nodded her caramel brown curls bouncing around her hair as she did so, getting out of her chair she placed her plates in the dishwasher and grabbed her car keys as I picked up my bag and followed her out to the car.

We rode in conferrable silence for a couple of minutes until I changed the radio channel to Kerrang, Summer of 69 came on and to my surprise Esme knew the words and was singing along with me

"I got my first real six string ,Bought at the five-and-dime,Played it till my fingers bled
Was the summer of 69."

Esme and I sang together before falling in fits of laughter until our sides hurt, before I knew it she pulled up in front of the school and gave me a ten dollar bill.

"Here you are, dinner money and if you want to get the late bus home then just phone and say, I'm sure you're going to have a good day and hopefully you meet a couple of new friends." She spoke making me smile and I just nodded.
"Thank you." I spoke giving her a hug luckily for me my turtle neck was woolly and ruffled up a little so she wouldn't feel the slight part of my ribs that had started to show over the past few days.
Getting out of the car I turned to face her as I closed the door, we both waved and I made my way up the steps and into the school building. Walking into the main office I stood in front of a desk and smiled softly at the old woman sitting behind it.

"Hello, I'm Bella Sawn this is my first day here I'm to pick up a slip or something like that to hand to my teacher" I spoke to the woman and she just nodded as she flipped through a couple of folders on her desk next to the computer.

"Ah yes dear , here you go, get your teachers to sign it then bring it back to me at the end of the school week if I'm not here just tell who ever is in my place to hand it on to Mrs. Cope that's me." Mrs Cope replied to me and handed me my slip,
I just nodded and made my way to my first class English maybe school wasn't going to be so bad after all I mean everyone looked quite happy I could just try and fly under the radar like I had at my other schools I just hopped people wouldn't fell pity on me because of my history I was a foster kid big deal, there were a lot of foster kids now a day's nothing made me different to them apart from the fact I was one of the fattest kids around.

Once I was in my English class I handed my slip to the teacher and sat down next to a short girl with spikey black hair. Taking out my note pad and pen I started to write down the date and what class I was in while the teacher took the class register

"Hi, I'm Alice Brandon your Bella right?" The little pixie asked while holding a big smile on her face.
I nodded my head and smiled back.
"Yeah I'm Bella Sawn, nice to meet you Alice." I answered her then went back to facing the front so we didn't get in trouble.

Well Ana Looks like school isn't going to be too bad after all.