Now I know this has bad spelling, so please don't jump on me about it. It is exactly what it says an excerpt from Baldrick's War Dairy… Hence the reason why I spelt everything like an idiot, or Baldrick that is.

Blackadder Goes Forth

The War Diary of:
Private S. Baldrick

You Know the Baldrick's ave been around for years?

Umm I forgot the day so…
1916...

We got up at the crack of noon to the sound of the Gerrman big guns going ratatatatatt-bong-boom. Captain Edmund Blackadder our comp'ny leader said they where just throwin nails at the walls in the uvver camp. I like our Captain, he's fun and lets me cook now.

P.S. Order More Coffee.

Umm, the day after the other one I thing…
1916...

Forgot to order more Coffee, Cap'n Blackadder is goin to av me shot for that one. He said if I don't av more coffee soon, I can just go for a walk in the big mushroom field at back of the wire fence. But I have a conning plan.

Getting better at this now…

A week later.
1916.

I ran out of creamer as welll, and custard, lucky no one has noticed. Lt George is nice hang on I'll get him to write his name here.

Lieutenant. The Right Honourable George Colhurst St. Barleigh.

Wow thanks a lot Balderz, oh wait I'll just tell you myself.

Wait a minute it's Cap'n B. I'll get him to sign it too.
"SOD OFF BALDRICK! Captain Edmund Blackadder"

What a nice man.

1917...

One of the men told me today the war started when Archie Duke shot an ostrich because he was hungry… should've come ere been awhile since I had chicken. Although it tastes like cat, funny that ain't it?

Ten days after.
1917...

Boring 'ere now, did some cooking for General Melchett, went o'er the fence today, Lt. George got his hat shot. Like me dad I was a Nun for George's picture… I painted too God day.

Next Week
1917.

Funny thing happened today, Cap'n B got arrested today. Shot a bird. But he said he loved me that was good I fink.

Later still.
1917...

Today was great, I was Charly Caplin, 'cause the Russias are revolting in red or somefing.

Too days later
1917...

I flew in a plan today… George was sickkk, Cap'n said it lookd like my food, he loves it reeelly. Ohh yeap… I met a good flyer 2day… lord flasher or somfingg and baron von rightovenn I fink he's a cook or somefing, no idea why he waz in a plane

1917...

The Cap'n was shot, went in Ospit'l today, I fund a Gerrmannn spy. But they shot a woman insted… whoops .

Today…
1917.

Big day…. Going ower the top today… got my guns ready… well gotta go. See ya in berlind

The War Diary of:
Captain Kevin Darling

1917.

Well tomorrow is a good Day, Finally Captain Blackadder is going over the top. Bloody Gad I'm not going.

The Big Day.

1917.

Bugger!