Author's notes: In this universe, season one of Degrassi took place when the eighth graders on the show (Paige, Spinner, etc) were in ninth grade. Everything happened as it did in cannon, with Ashley getting frozen out by her friends completely in the beginning of sophomore year, which spanned the length of season two. Shout and How Soon is Now never took place, so Ashley never made up with Paige, et al. Marco is friends with Jimmy and Spinner, but never became close with Ellie. Aside from the prologue, this story takes place in 2004, when all of the main characters (of which Marco is not) are in the second semester of eleventh grade.

Prologue: November, 2003

"Hey."

A hand abruptly caught Alex's wrist. She whipped around, instinctive aggression blazing in her eyes. Being grabbed was never the precursor to anything good.

"What?" The word was a snarl, and she pulled her arm free. The grip hadn't been tight, but Alex instantly felt less panicky. God, of course the grip hadn't been tight, queen bee Paige had been the one to grab her.

"No need to freak out, jeez." Paige held up her hands, acting as though wanting to talk to Alex was perfectly natural.

"What do you want?" Alex wasn't sure why she bothered to ask, rather than simply leaving. In contrast to Paige's chipper chirp, Alex's retort was a low growl. They were alone in the girls room, and by the way Paige's eyes were looking anywhere but at her, Alex thought she would be easily intimidated.

"Um. Paige faltered, twisting the strap of her bag around an index finger. Alex wasn't aware that word was part of the priss dictionary. Alex rolled her eyes, suddenly almost enjoying this surreal encounter. Seeing people squirm was fun, particularly when they were above you on the social totem pole.

"It's Ellie," Paige blurted out. Alex blinked.

"What about her?" Alex had seen Ellie less than twenty minutes ago during lunch, scrambling to half ass her math homework while talking emo bands with Ashley. As far as Alex knew, Paige would never willingly keep tabs on either of them.

Paige's voice went up an octave, and she looked over alex's shoulder as she explained in a rush: "She's… god, I don't know. She's hurting herself."

"The hell are you talking about?" Alex was instantly on edge again. Paige could try and spread rumors about anyone else in this godforsaken school, except for Ellie. She wanted to slap that wide eyed, oh-so-concerned expression off Paige's face.

Paige gestured to the row of sinks behind them. "I saw her, this morning. I tried to talk to her - I told her it was disgusting…" she winced, seeming to realize belatedly exactly what she'd just said.

Alex turned away, nearly clipping Paige with her bag. She stalked to the sinks, as though she might find some kind of magical proof that Paige was lying, but all that greeted her were dried smears of makeup. Alex glared down at the chipped tiles, not exactly sure what she was trying to envision. Certainly not Ellie with a raiser blade.

But the longer Alex considered the counter, the idea of Ellie hurting herself began to seem more and more plausible. Ellie's dad had been deployed again last month, and Alex could tell her mom hadn't been taking it well, by how careful Ellie was being not to mention her. Ellie had been careful to not spend as much time with Alex in general, although she had the pretense of a new job to hide behind. Alex had carelessly teased her about being a workaholic with each new reason Ellie would give for being unable to hang out on the weekends.

Ellie had given her flippant excuses from underneath her long sleeved shirts, even during unusually warm October days. And Alex had allowed herself to believe every single one of them..

"She's none of your business." Alex's voice was rough with self recrimination, not bothering to turn and check that Paige hadn't left. Fear and anger battled for dominance inside her. She fucking hated this girl, but she hated the rawness in her own voice as it bounced around the room even more.

Mostly, she just hated that Paige was probably right, and that she'd understood what Alex had not.

Paige's tone was no longer defensive. "I know she's not my business, but I think she needs help."

Alex couldn't argue with that. She felt the hot irruption of anger ebbing away, leaving her chilled and worried. "Damn it."

Ellie had been Alex's friend since the beginning of junior high, when they'd met one Saturday in the waiting room of a therapists office. Alex had come in with her mother for information on alcoholics anonymous, and the Nash's were there as a group for family therapy.

Ellie's family had continued counseling, while Emily had thrown the pamphlet out a week later. Somehow, that experience had bonded the two girls, even though neither of them could remember what would have possessed them to talk to each other.

This discovery about the only stable person in her life felt like a physical blow, and Alex desperately wished Paige weren't here to witness it. But she definitely still was. There was the clacking of heels, and then Paige was beside her. Alex didn't think they'd ever stood this close before. Paige smelled like citrus. It was a lot nicer than Alex wanted to admit.

Their gazes met in the mirror, and for a brief moment, understanding passed like a current between them. Paige had no reason to tell Alex any of this, unless this was some twisted retribution for the job that Ellie had beat her out of. Somehow, Alex didn't think that was the case.

God, Alex hated feeling indebted to people.

Author's notes: I mainly started writing this story because I wanted to see what would have happened if Alex had been introduced as more than Jay's girlfriend earlier on in the show. Speaking of, Jay so far is nonexistent. The title comes from a Rachael Sage song of the same name. I have the first five or six chapters written so far, and I'll let feedback dictate my posting schedule. If anything is still confusing, let me know in reviews. I'm also in search of a beta, Particularly for characterization and grammar, so if you're interested, I'd be grateful.