I'm Your AntiDrug You're My New Addiction

by Dextris

Gaara is a doctor in a commited relationship, Only problem, is his partner has been in the hospital more than he should.

"Kiba..." The brown haired boy ran his nose along the red head underneath him. His breath ran along the boys neck, creating a rather arousing sensation in the red heads body.

Kiba was little less than an average person. He had a harder life than the regular people his age. A life that consisted of drug abuse, violence, and sex along with many other minor things. When he was born, his mother was in a series of depression due to the fact that his father had left her while he was still an infant. His mother never got over the love she felt for the man that abadoned her, leaving a lingering tension in the air as he grew up. She often had random mood swings and could end up resorting to abuse when she couldn't handle things. Kiba and his older sister, Hana had learned to deal with it and grew to an understanding when it came to the action of their mother. Watching his mother struggle throughout his life had left a large impact in the way Kiba dealt with himself. Kiba had grown up poor and was always unstable when it came to his emotions. He had feel victim to the use of drugs, using things from heroin, weed, and crack. The addiction had nearly taken his life more than once, nearly overdosing on the durgs. His use of drugs had started around the time he was going through puberty and had been having a difficult time with the kids he grew up with. Depression had overcome him, taking a large part in his drug abuse. The kids he grew up with had always given him a hard time by accusing his sexuality most of the time. He had never been sure if he was straight or gay, untill the last time he had nearly overdosed, but growing up with no man influence had left him open for the bullying he had endured. Everything fell into place in his mind when he woke up in a hospital bed some months ago. His eyes were met with the glowing shimmer of a light blue. The pale skin had a unique glow to it and was complimented by the shaggy like red hair. Kiba was almost sure he had still been high or was going through a side effect of some kind of pill they put him on, but it wasn't. He watched absent mindedly as the red head had swiftly and easily restored Kiba back to good health.

It wasn't until he was fully coinscious that he realized that his doctor was his age. Realizing that had made his feelings rise for his doctor even more. Kiba had been trying to keep himself in the hospital longer so he could keep meeting with his life saver. Gaara, his doctor hadn't paid much attention to Kiba's feelings. In fact Gaara didn't care for Kiba much at all when he took Kiba as a patient. One thing he had always resented were drugs. Saving someone from overdose had always left Gaara with a feeling of accoplishment, but when he saw that it was Kiba who had been put into his care, he felt nothing but sorrow.

"Kiba...n-not so rough..." Gaara moaned twisting Kiba's hair into his fist. Kiba kissed all along Gaara's neck, pulling down his shirt for more revealed skin, while pulling himself in and out of Gaara at a steady pace. Gaara concentrated on his breath while his eyes stared upward at the ceiling. He couldn't wrap his head around what was happening and for the most part, he didn't care.

He didn't care about the fact that he was going against his religion. He didn't care that he was creating sin or that the person he was making sin with was an addict. All he wanted was the torturous pleasure that was flowing through him currently. He liked the feeling, mainly because it numbed his body with a current of a worry free lifestyle. His mind fought with his body every second of the endless activity. "Not so rough" He had said. "Not so rough.." Gaara rolled his eyes upward. "Not at all....I shouldn't be doing this at all.." His mind told him. But the pleasure didn't cease. With each passing second, it seemed to increase. Maybe not by much, but enough to block out his arguing thoughts, enough to stop his worrying coinscious, enough to take him away from reality.

He suddenly wondered how it had come to this. How had he lived his life day-in and day-out, never once doing something like this, and then falling on his hands and knees for one person. Gaara gripped Kiba's hair again, releasing it then clutching it with the rythm of pleasure pulsing into his body. "It was for him...I did this for him..." Gaara told himself. "It's not wrong if I'm doing it to help someone else release from their sins...No, it can't be wrong." But he knew it was. Conducting sexual activity with a partner of the same sex was way beyond what he had learned, pre-marritable sex in itself was something that could send him to hell.

Kiba pulled his head away from Gaara's chest and stared into his partner's teal eyes. Locking eyes had made the entire experince even more intense then it already was. Gaara couldn't stare at his sin any longer and snapped his eyes shut. Kiba didn't understand the amount of torment he was putting Gaara through by doing this and contiuned into him.

Gaara turned his head away from Kiba, releasing a soft moan. Kiba kissed along Gaara's neck, runing his tounge up towards the tourtured boys ear. He nipped his earlope, his hot breath brushing against Gaara's face. Gaara dug his nails into Kiba's back, pulling his shirt into a ball, trying to contain himself as best as he could. It wouldn't be so bad if Gaara didn't enjoy it so much. This was now their seventeenth time in the six months that they've began dating that they had sex in the hospital. That didn't include all the times they had fucked when they where alone.

All of the excitment and pleasure finally died, moments later. Kiba came inside of Gaara, then pulled away from him after catching his breath. Gaara slid down the wall of the closet they were in and drew in deep breaths. He watched as Kiba fixed his pants, just barely catching a glimpse of what he had left on Kiba.

Kiba drew in one last breath before kneeling down next to Gaara. He rubbed the pressure points on his chest, feeling an slight pain come up. After a small moment, the pain subsided. He figured it had to of been because of his loss of breath, or something like that and dismissed it to the back of his head. He turned to his head towards his doctor. Gaara had fixed his clothing and immdiately had his hands pressed together. Kiba watched as his love began reciting some kind of prayer. He glanced over at the closed door, then back to Gaara. Kiba interrupted Gaara's prayer, pressing his lips into Gaara's. "Why do you always do that?" Kiba asked after pulling away. Gaara turned to him, his eyes open in shock.

"I...I have to...or the Lord won't-"

"Lord won't what? As far as I'm concerned, the Lord won't do shit. Good or bad." Kiba stated.

"Kiba!" Gaara exclaimed after hearing the words come out of his mouth. Kiba looked at him from the corner of his eye. "God doesn't determine things that our mind decides, he determines what happens to us after death. He's not supposed to create good or bad, just seperate them."

"What? By making sure that anybody who dies a virgin that lived under a rock in their parents basement all their life shall be put in Heaven, and then sending everyone else to hell?" Gaara's jaw dropped at the words he was hearing. "Look, I'm not saying that there isn't a God, or afterlife, I just think that the circumstances that society came up with and proclaimed as God's divine judgement is a buncha bullshit."

"Kiba, you don't know that!" Gaara jumped.

"Yes I do! Just take a good look at the bible! The ten commandments! 'Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commient thy neighbor, Thou shalt not disobey thy Mother and Father, Thous shalt not use thy Lords name in vain, Thou shalt not create adultry' Thou shalt not fuck someone that isn't of the opposite gender! It's bullshit. You can't have sex, you can't go against chirst, you can't even masturbait for fucks sake! All of that to get to heaven? If we can't do that alive then what the fuck can we do when we get there? If it's anything like this, send me to hell." Kiba said with a rising furry.

"Don't say that....Kiba, that's not true, God's-" Gaara was cut off.

"Then what about you?" Kiba threw at him. " You talk so high about 'God', but you continue to fuck me when you think he's got his head turned. How's that any different from what I'm saying?"

Gaara was struck by the statement. It sounded so much worse when it was actually said to him then when his coinscious brought about the sin he commited. "...I..." Gaara didn't know what he was trying to say. Kiba had him there. How was preaching about God and then going against all of it any different than being against it in the first place?

"See? Even you don't know..." Kiba mummbled. Gaara swallowed a lump in his throat. He stood up and ran his sweaty palms against his thigh.

"We should get going...breaks almost over...." He said unsure of himself.

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"Your bodies just adjusting, there should be a few blood spots every now and then," Gaara explained to a paniced woman. She clutched her stomach not seeming to believe him, but remained silent. "You're only seven weeks along but, if you don't feel comfortable, we can do an ultrasound so you can see."

The woman nodded. "Yes, please." Gaara smiled at the woman, giving her a feeling of reassurance. He pulled out the equipment and after readying it, placed the tool against the womans stomach, while directing her attention to the screen above the desk. The screen was white, the tones of black fuzz showing a hidden child in the picture. Gaara pointed to an area on the screen. "See? The babies coming along fine. There's its feet developing..." The woman let out a sigh of relief. Gaara continued to point out the developed areas of the child, talking calmly to the woman.

"Oh thank God..." She said aloud. Gaara fringed at the word. After earlier, he did anything he could to keep him from thinking about the question Kiba had planted in his mind. He was quiet for a moment, thinking about it. After the woman turned to him, Gaara forced the question to the back of his mind. "I-I didn't know I was pregnant...I would've been more careful, but I didn't know..."

Gaara gave a small laugh, remembering that just a few months ago, his sister was saying the exact same words. he thought about it a moment and realized that she would be due any day now. "It's alright, just take it easy for a little while. Now you know about the child, so make sure you start eating a better diet too, you don't want an unhealthy baby." Gaara advised. The woman nodded and stood up.

"Thank you, for seeing me so soon." The woman nodded curtusly and then left.

Gaara sighed, staring at the white screen. He stared blankly at it for sometime, trying not to let his mind go back in time. All he wanted to do now, was attend to his last few patients and then go home. Whether or not he'd see Kiba again he wasn't sure.

Gaara started thinking about Kiba, about the time when the nurses wheeled him into his room. Kiba had been in that room more than he should've been. Gaara had never had him as a patient, but Kiba was talked about by the other doctors that had attended him. They had always talked about how annoying he was, having to save his life all the time for the same stupid reason. "God Damn, the kid obviously doesn't give a shit about his health, why keep rescuing him? His family doesn't seem to give a shit either if they keep letting the kid overdose."

"Yeah, I've already had to attend to him three times. It's a miracle his body can even fight back, his immune system is shot for shit, he'll end up dying soon anyways."

"I was tempted to not work fast enough when I was treating him, but drug addict or not, he's still a patient, and as much as I hated it, I had to do what I could."

Gaara had all of those comments flowing through his head as Kiba's uncoinscious body was layed out in front of him. Gaara wasn't debating on whether or not to save the kid, he already knew he was going to do whatever he could to save him. What he was worried about, why all the comments he heard had frightened him, was wondering what if he coudln't save the kid? Over dosing so many times is incredibly dangerous for any persons' body. Even if Gaara had extracted all of the drugs from his system, he'd have to worry about other problems, like if his heart failed, or his blood began to clot, or his brain shut down. Gaara immdiately jumped into action, saving the other worries for when the moment came. Several times Gaara had almost lost the kid. It was a miracle that Kiba had actually lived through this last overdose. After experincing first hand what Kiba caused, he immdiately knew that if Kiba took in anymore severe drugs, he was dead. One shot of herione would kill him the quickest. It'd end up stopping his heart after a period of time, while popping so much as four more 1200mg pills would definintly slow down his blood flow and inturn cause heart failure, if he some how survived that, he'd probably end up with a blood clot in the wrong place and end up suffiocating his body to death.

Whatever it was, Gaara couldn't watch it happen, not to one of his patients. Kiba was hospitalized for about three weeks after Gaara had tended to him. Gaara asked that he could be put in charge of watching over him and he slowly tried to get Kiba to trust in him. Kiba wasn't very talkitive after it had all happened either. In fact, most of the time Gaara had ended up talking to himself when trying to communicate with the boy. Every now and then Kiba would say a small bit, but nothing more than needed. Then there was one day when Kiba had asked the questions.

Gaara had just stopped by to check up on his blood pressure and take a sample of his blood, to make sure Kiba hadn't some how snuck in drugs. Kiba was staring out the window, at something only he seemed to notice, when he finally spoke without being asked to. "Why haven't you released me yet?" Gaara had to think about it to understand what he was talking about.

"Why haven't I released you? Because you're an addict." Kiba turned away from the window confused. "Letting someone like you out this early would mean that I'd just be seeing you again the next night, wouldn't I?" Kiba looked down. Gaara smirked. "I don't want to release you yet until you're at a better health level and have a better control for your addiction. You overdose again and you'll finally get your wish fulfilled."

Kiba sighed. "I...I don't want to die...I just..." He turned his attention back out the window. After a moment of silence, he spoke again. "Have you ever had the feeling that you're completely alone?" Gaara turned away from the paperwork he was filling out. "That everyone around you...isn't really there? Like it's all make-belief?"

Gaara set down his papers and sighed. "Everybody goes through that feeling Kiba, I can understand how you want to get away from it all, but depression isn't an excuse to abuse drugs. Once you get out of that state you'll understand that you really aren't alone."

"That's the thing...I haven't felt like that for awhile now... I actually feel like I've got someone behind me to catch me when I start to fall. I don't know where it came from, but, it makes me afraid to leave here." Kiba explained.

"Well, that's a good thing. Knowing someone's there for you can make anyone feel just a tiny bit better. And you need to stay here for sometime. Maybe we can put you through some therapy to help you with your addiction. If you can stop taking in so many drugs, you may even be able to help restore some of your damaged areas."

"Hm." Kiba stared down at the bed sheets. "I just like it when we talk..."

Gaara smiled at the comment, while pulling out a fresh needle and flicking the tip of it. "Yeah, for once I'm not talking to myself... " Gaara ran a wet cottonball over Kiba's shoulder, before penitrating the skin with the needle and drawing his blood. Kiba watched as his blood filled the container.

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"fuck, Gaara!" Kiba rested his head against Gaara's shoulder while Gaara dug his nails into Kiba's back.

"Oh, Kiba, Ohhh!" Gaara moaned loudly. He threw his head back against the pillow as Kiba was once again ontop of him and was once again fucking him. Kiba was less than gentle this time around, thrusting himself into Gaara as hard as he could. Gaara drew in deep breaths, letting them out in moans. Kiba grabbed onto Gaara's hips and used them to help thrust harder into him, making Gaara's nails dig deeper into his back. Gaara was once again greeted with the same arousing pleasure that he had regretted so much. His body was filled with such an intoxicating feeling, he wasn't even thinking about his normal ponders during their sexual activity. The only thing he was focused on was the body ontop of him.

Kiba was on the verge of cumming just before he felt the moist spill from Gaara. Not even seven hours earlier, they had been at it in the janitor's closet at the hospital and now they had already gotten all over eachother. Kiba finished inside of Gaara and collapsed ontop of him. His nerves were twitching and his hair standing on end. Gaara was breathing heavily against Kiba's ears, his legs still spread apart from the rough experience. After a moment he relaxed his legs and closed his eyes. It was around 11:00 p.m. right now, and he was dead tired from all the patients he attended as well as attending to Kiba to.

A little over an hour ago, Kiba had called and told Gaara how he had been having cravings again. Gaara was just going to have him over to try and help calm his craving, but, like most of the time, they just ended up fucking eachother. It was good for Kiba, keeping him from doing any drugs, but Gaara just secretly wanted it all to go away. Directly after work Gaara had gone straight to his church and confessed his sins, only to be told that he was forgiven, like he had been told everytime he confessed at the church. Gaara was ashamed of himself for being so two-faced on the situation. He was begining to ask questions about himself. Was he really with Kiba to help with his addiction? Or was it now the other way around? Did Gaara truly believe his religion? Was there really a God? Or was it just as Kiba said? Just a buncha bullshit...?

Kiba kissed Gaara continuosly, leaving a trail of hickies along his neck, but careful not to go too high up. Kiba's hands were still shaking like they were when he had arrived in his drug craving mind, but for a different reason. No matter how many times him and Gaara had sex, Kiba couldn't get over the fact that Gaara was his. He had never dreamed it possible after learning Gaara was a strong Catholic that attended church every sunday on his own accord, but some how it had come to be. Kiba traced his finger along Gaara's bare chest, then along his abdomen, and then towards his thighs. Gaara pushed Kiba's fingers away from him and then turned on his stomach, his head laying away from Kiba.

Kiba decided not to think anything of it and wrapped his arms around Gaara. His touch somehow annoyed Gaara. He kept it to himself and tried to focus on the black that filled his sight. Eventually he ended up drifting off to sleep with Kiba's arms still around his shoulders.

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Kiba woke up the next morning feeling refreshed and dirty at the same time. His eyes fluttered open to show his arms wrapped around a pillow. The sound of a shower running was heard in the background as Kiba sat up and stretched. He was still naked from last night and hadn't used much of the blanket, leaving a cold feel on his skin. A shower didn't sound too bad right about now, but he knew from the last time he tried to do it, that if he were to climb in with him, Gaara would end up furious. Kiba yawned, trying to wake himself up before a sharp pain pulsed through his chest. He winced before runing his hand along his chest, the pain subsiding. Kiba scratched his head as he picked up his clothes from the floor and began to put them on, thinking nothing of the odd pain. He left his shirt on the bed and didn't bother to button up his pants. Kiba yawned and then stood up and stepped out into the hallway. He turned his head to the door behind him and watched the little bit of steam seep out from under the door only to dissapear. He bit his lip, wanting to go in their, but left it alone, deciding to respect Gaara's wishes. Kiba headed down the other end of the hallway and walked into the kitchen. He looked into the fridge for something to eat. His eyes scanned the food Gaara had in his fridge, nothing really catching his attention. He was in the mood for something good, something that had just the right amount of flavor to it. Kiba closed the fridge and then began rummaging through Gaara's cabinents. Something that was dry, not soggy or wet, something that was-

Kiba's eyes locked onto one of Gaara's spices. The little glass bottle contained something that looked too much like what he was craving just the night before. He quickly shut the cabinent and reached for the box of Frosted Flakes ontop of the of the fridge. 'Cereal'll do..' Kiba thought, trying to trick his mind from going back to his earlier craving. He poured the cereal into a bowl, then added milk and took it with him to the table. After taking his first bite into the cereal, he realized that the shower had stopped runing. He chewed the cereal, listening to the crunching sounds it made when he bit into them. He hadn't even noticed that he began drumming his fingers against the table until the sound caught his attention. 'Not Good' Kiba quickly scooped a spoonful of cereal into his mouth. There was no way he could possibly ask Gaara for his help now, Gaara never did anything this early in the day. And by the sound of it, he had to be at the hospital soon, which also meant that Kiba would have to go back home before he left.

Kiba scooped another spoonful into his mouth, listening to Gaara moving around in his room down the hall. He felt terrible having to rely on Gaara so much, but Gaara never said anything to Kiba about it so it couldn't've been bothering him, right? The only thing that really seemed to bother Gaara was the sex. He had talked to Kiba about it before but he didn't tell Kiba that he wanted to stop fucking, just not to feel the guilt he felt afterwards. Kiba felt horrible for not being able to help Gaara at all with his feelings but he wasn't a religious person so there wasn't much he could do. He could tell that the anti-religion was starting to have an impact on Gaara and it was begining to worry him. Kiba knew that alot of the stuff he said and did went against Gaara's religion majorly, but he never put the thought of how it would effect him into any of it. He was so used to doing things freely, it was hard for him to adjust to doing things with more caution. What Kiba didn't understand about Gaara was, if his religion forbid homosexuality so much, and Gaara was such a devoted catholic, why had he decided to start dating Kiba in the first place?

"My God Kiba, can't you even put your clothes on when you eat?" Kiba twitched, startled by Gaara's deep voice. He was so lost in thought, he didn't notice the stopping of movement in the background.

"Hn?" Kiba looked down at his chest to find it bear. He forgot how much Gaara didn't like him doing that.

"You're gonna get sick walking around like that all the time." Gaara said with a worried tone. Gaara had on a mid-sleeved black shirt on that looked somewhat like a solid color baseball t-shirt. He was wearing his dark brown dress pants and had a towel ontop of his head as he rubbed it against his hair to make it dry faster. Kiba blushed at how good Gaara looked when he had to get dressed up. The damp appearence he had didn't help him in any matter either. Kiba turned his head. 'Now's not the time for this...' He told himself.

Gaara looked down at Kiba, watching his fingers as they drummed against the table. Kiba felt his gaze and immdiately pulled his hand under the table. He wasn't going to send Gaara off in a worried state. Kiba was starting to be able to control his cravings. Every now and then he'd feel like he absolutely needed the drugs, but Gaara was always there when he did. The small craving he was having now, Kiba could easily control. Gaara shook his head, trying to ignore Kiba's jittery-ness. Sometimes Gaara really questioned if Kiba was truly having his cravings as bad as he said he did.

Gaara pulled the towel off of his head and tossed it onto one of the chairs by Kiba. Kiba could already smell the vanilla-honey soap that radiated off of Gaara's skin. He looked up at his red haired partner and saw some kind of confusion in his eyes. Kiba turned away, a feeling of guilt pulsing through him. Gaara ignored Kiba's look of worry and began to gather all of the things he needed to take with him to the hospital. He pulled on his messenger-bag and turned to Kiba. "You want me to give you a ride?"

Kiba wanted to say yes, and almost did, but caught himself. He knew deep down that Gaara preferred to be away from him when he got to thinking the way he was. Kiba bit his lip, then shook his head. "Nah, I can just walk." Kiba stood up, picking up the cereal bowl and taking it into the kitchen. He rinsed it out and set it in the sink. Gaara stood by the door way, looking around for his keys. He was about to set his things down, and go back into his room, only to hear his keys jingle in front of him.

Kiba held them out to Gaara, jingling them to grab his attention. Gaara gave a half smile and took them from him."..Thanks."

Kiba nodded. Gaara turned towards the door, but stopped and looked over his shoulder at Kiba. Gaara looked first at Kiba's smooth and masculine face, his eyes traveling down Kiba's body, taking in every curve of his chest down to his stomach. Gaara felt his heart jump, and quickly looked away. Kiba stared at him awkwardly and confused. Gaara opened his mouth to say something, but what he was going to say, he forgot. "Um,..." Gaara started. Kiba watched him patiently. Gaara closed his eyes and then shook his head. "Break. Lunch break." He threw out there. "I'll see you then?"

Kiba smiled and nodded. "Alright..."

Gaara smiled slightly."Okay," He turned towards the door, only to turn back towards Kiba. "You sure you don't want a ride? That's kind of a far walk y'know."

"I'll be fine." Kiba assured him.

Gaara sighed. "I know, I just," He looked down for a minute, then back up at Kiba. "I just worry about you..."

Kiba felt his heart flutter when Gaara said that. It was the small words like that that told Kiba that this wasn't a one-sided relationship. He smiled, laughing slightly. "Gaara, don't worry. I'll be okay."

Gaara thought a moment, then nodded his head. "...Okay." He stepped away from the door and closer to Kiba. Gaara smiled after Kiba slid his hands around his hips, pulling them closer together. Gaara tilted his head back, and placed his lips against Kiba's. Their lips flickered off one anothers for a brief, tender moment. They held a kiss together for a long moment before Gaara began to pull away, Kiba holding the kiss together for just a second longer. Their eyes locked and Gaara smiled. "Break's at four today." After saying that, he kissed Kiba one more time and then turned and walked out the door. Kiba stared after him, wishing the moment could've lasted just a bit longer.

Kiba gathered everything that he had brought over Gaara's the night before and headed out the door. He locked the door using the spare key Gaara had given him. He sighed and then began walking back to his home on the other side of the city. Konoha was as busy as ever, people crowded the streets, shopping malls were packed, the market place was completely full, everyone having to push and squirm through the crowds. As Kiba made his way further towards the outer parts of Konoha, the streets slowly began to thin. The enitre back alley way of Konoha gave off a dark feel. Just looking into one of the alley ways could send fear down someone's spine. Not for Kiba though. He grew up around here, knowing just how to get out of the tough situations this side of the city had plagued the place with.

Kiba was walking casually towards his small apartment building that was now in sight. His eyes feel upon the window of the fourth floor, his window. He felt a sudden dread come over him, knowing that he'd be there for a good two hours before he could go back into the city to meet up with Gaara for lunch. The entire walk home he had been biting his lips and playing with his fingers through his pockets. The craving he had earlier had gotten worse. It was still small enough for him to control, but if it had gotten this bad in the fourty minutes it took to walk home, how bad would it be by the time he'd go to get Gaara? Kiba peeled off a bit of skin from his lip and then spit it out. A small trickle of blood seeped out of his lip. He ran his tounge over it and quickly stopped the bleeding. He suddenly thought back to when he was a kid and how he used to always watch the shows with magican's on them. He found the magic tricks so fascinating, wishing he could do as they did. When he was younger, he used to hide under his sheets, or in the closet and pretend that magic had taken him to a better place, a happier place where he had a dad, and his mom was always happy. A place where his sister would take him to the park and they'd play for hours on end until their Mother would call them in for a big dinner. They'd go inside and eat until they couldn't fit anymore food into their stomachs. Then, there parents would put him to bed and maybe read him a bed time story to help him fall asleep. Whenever Kiba was scared or angry, he'd go to his closet and throw the sheets over him. He'd sit there, wishing that magic would make him dissapear from his house. He used to try and make his toys dissapear, but never could. Instead of giving up on the magic he believed in so much, he'd watch his shows over and over again thinking maybe he had said the words wrong, or he had waved the wand the wrong way. Whatever it was, he'd figure out how to make things dissapear. He did eventually find a way to make his world dissapear, and unfourtanetly it was through drugs. Kiba shook his head, hating how he had chosen to do such a stupid thing. Now, years later, he can barely survive a walk without wanting to "dissapear". 'Just gotta make it home...' Kiba told himself. 'Once I get home, I'll take a shower to kill some time...Maybe put on a movie to take my mind off of it...'

As if someone had heard his thoughts, a deep voice called out to him. "Kiba!" Kiba cringed at the voice he reconigized so well. He turned his head slightly to see Shikamaru. He was the last person Kiba needed to see right now. Shikamaru walked over to him, a cigarette placed inbetween his lips. He pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and blew out a puff of smoke. "Where the hell you been man? I haven't heard from you in awhile. Is everything alright?"

Kiba's heart suddenly began thumping in his chest, a small panic holding tight to him. "Ugh, yeah, everythings great..." He said as calmly as he could. Shikamaru looked him over while taking a long drag on his cigarette. Kiba felt the smoke travel up his nose, the nicotine from it calming his craving slightly. Shikamaru noticed and then held his cigarette out for Kiba to take. Kiba barley had it in him to shake his head.

Shikamaru raised his brow. "No...?" Kiba remained quiet. "Dude, you feelin' alright? I'm not charging you for a puff, you know that right?"

Kiba nodded, clenching his mouth together tightly. "I'm...trying to quit..."

Shikamaru stared at him a minute and then began laughing. "Bullshit." He said in between laughs."You've been addicted to this shit for too long, how the fuck you think you're gonna quit?" Kiba stared at him blankly, not quite sure what to say. Shikamaru looked around and then stepped closer to Kiba. He pulled something out of his pocket and slyly slid it into Kiba's. "Here. This is on me. Should help you get into your right mind." Shikamaru pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and then chucked it onto the ground. He looked up at Kiba and smirked mischeviously. "Don't be a stranger now." With that he turned and left.

Kiba stood there for a moment, tense. His finger twitched as his mind focused on what Shikamaru had put in his pocket. Kiba was almost positive of what it was, but he tried to tell himself that maybe it was something else. 'Could just be cigarettes...' He told himself. But as his hand reached into his pocket, his face went pale at the reconigiton of the plastic bag inside.

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Kiba sat in his room, fingering the plastic bag that Shikamaru had given him. He was begining to loose his mind to the craving that he had in his hands. He stared down at the marijuana, biting his lips. 'One more time wouldn't hurt...' he thought to himself. Before he knew it, he had the weed already packed in a blunt wrap and was now scrounging around for a lighter. He used to always have them laying around, why couldn't he find one now? He suddenly remembered the first time Gaara had stopped by his house.

Gaara seemed rather uncomfortable with the living conditions Kiba dealt with and had tried to put some kind of orginazation to his room. He had gone through all of Kiba's things, throwing out anything that was completely useless and putting away everything else in the drawers Kiba had never bothered to use. Kiba specificly remembered the one thing Gaara had done that did make his room feel at a higher standard then what it really was.

"This!" Gaara chimmed holding up an entire bag of all of Kiba's lighters. "This is completely useless now. So they get thrown away. That means that you won't have to worry about having to light anything because...!" Gaara had waited for Kiba to finish his sentence.

"...I'm not gonna have anything to light..?" Kiba mummbled.

Gaara smiled. "Good boy." He teased putting the bag of lighters into his coat pocket. "Maybe if you can go a long enough time without this stuff, we can go do something nice like...." Gaara thought about it a minute. "I dunno, what would you want to do?"

Kiba smiled. He barely had to think about it. "Go to the movies. The good ones. Or to see a magican!" Kiba said excitedly, having always been fascinated by them since he was a kid.

Gaara smiled. "Alright..." He tapped his hand on his pocket. "As long as you stay away from these."

Kiba stared blankly at the blunt he had in his hand. He shook his head trying to set it down, but for some reason he couldn't get himself to let go of it. Kiba's hands were shaking madly from the craving that was fogging his memory. It was just one joint. It couldn't do anymore damage to him than what was already done. Kiba bit his lip and then remembered that Hana had kept matches in the medicine cabient for her 'candle baths'. He rushed into the bathroom, trying to avoid his mother or sister and snatched the matches, then retreated back into his room. "Don't do it Kiba' He started to tell himself as he began striking the match.'You wont get to go to the movies with Gaara..Or to see the magican....' But the craving was too much. Kiba struck the match and then held it up to the end of wrap. His fingers were shaking almost uncontrollably as he pulled it to his lips. He placed it in between his lips and took a long drag on it. The drug traveled through his body, filling it with a numbing sensation. Kiba rested his head back against his bed, his mind slipping away. He breathed out a thick cloud of white smoke and then took another puff of it.

Kiba didn't have a clue how long he had been laying there on the ground. He lost track of time hours ago. His eyes had been focused on his small puppy that was laying next to him on his floor. Kiba had been having conversations with the dog, him occassionally laughing at something the dog had apparently told him. Kiba reached for the plastic bag that was just above him. He grabbed it and pulled out another blunt, lighting it with another match. He had done this at least three times already. The drug had calmed Kiba so well the first time that after he had gotten in the shower and out, he found himself about to throw the bag away, but the effect of the drug had slipped from him and instead of getting rid of it in the trash can, he got rid of it by lighting joint after joint. "This is my last one, promise." He said aloud to an invisible friend.

Kiba heard the sound of his cell phone go off, the ringing penitrating his cloudy mind only a little. Kiba laughed at the ringtone and then began singing along to the song of Anberlin's cover of 'Love Song' by 311. "...I will always love you..." He finished after the ringing had stopped. Kiba smiled and then closed his eyes, drifiting off into sleep. "...always love you..." He mummbled to himself, the image of Gaara appearing before him. He smiled. "....always...love..."

The sound of pounding slid into Kiba's thoughts. At first, his mind ignored it, but then the pounding got louder, waking Kiba up and alert. He rubbed his eyes, listening for the pounding again. After it started up one more time, he realized it was coming from his window. Kiba turned his head towards the glass, surprised by two things; First, it was Gaara pounding on his window and Second, it was already night time.

Kiba stood up to let him in, but found it hard to keep balance. He looked over at his clock to find the numbers glowing at 8:56 p.m. Kiba blinked, looking again, not able to believe the time. Gaara pounded hard on the window to bring Kiba's attention back towards him. Kiba's head snapped toward the window also now realizing that it was raining. Kiba quickly walked over to the window and unlatched it, letting a soaking wet Gaara into his room. Gaara jummped down from the window seal and stared deadly at Kiba. Kiba gulped, he knew he was furious. Gaara's jaw was locked tight, his fists clenched together. Kiba looked down, like a puppy would during a scolding from his master. Kiba's eyes then landed on the plastic bag laying just in front of Gaara's foot. His face went pale as his earlier actions flooded into his mind. Gaara's anger kept him from noticing. He finally opened his mouth to say something. "...I...waited..." Gaara started. "Out in the FUCKING rain...For over an hour..." Kiba looked down at Gaara's wet clothes. "Then, I come by here, climb up the FUCKING wall, just to find you laying on your bed, sleeping." Kiba's eyes went back to the plastic bag on the floor. All Gaara had to do was take a step forward and he was done. "Then after that, I spend two hours pounding on your FUCKING WINDOW!" Gaara began leaning closer to him, Kiba fearing that he might step forward and lose the last bit of patience he was barely holding onto. "Did you not hear me calling? I left ten FUCKING VOICEMAILS Kiba!!! TEN!!" Gaara closed his eyes, trying to calm himself down. Kiba took that oppurtunity to kick the bag under his bed, and out of sight. "Do you have any idea how fucking worried I was? I tried calling you a little after I left to tell you I'd be getting off early. I thought we could maybe do something together, go to the movies or something, but you didn't pick up your fucking phone. I started freaking out, driving around all over the fucking place looking for you. I stopped by, but no one was home. Kiba, I thought something terrilble had happened to you. Why didn't you pick up when I was calling?"

Kiba bit his lip. There was no way he could tell Gaara what he did. It could end up the last thing he'd say to him as his boyfriend. He swallowed the lump in his throat. "I'm sorry...I fell asleep... I didn't know you were calling..."

"For six hours!? You fell asleep for six hours straight?" Gaara questioned. Kiba remained quiet, looking away from his worried face. Gaara let out a frustated sigh. He ran his hand through his thick red hair. It took him a minute before he started talking again. "Kiba....maybe we should..." Kiba looked up at Gaara, his throat closing up at what he expected him to say. "Maybe we should...just. stop seeing..." Gaara bit his lip, then looked at Kiba. He stared at him for a moment, and then cocked his head slightly, his sight being caught off guard. "Look at me..." Kiba kept his eyes locked onto the floor. "Kiba, look at me." Kiba still didn't look. Gaara reached forward and then grabbed Kiba by his face, holding his chin forward. Gaara stared into Kiba's eyes, his mouth dropping slightly in disbelief. "You've gotta be kidding me..." Kiba closed his eyes, guilt crashing down on him. "You've been high outta your fucking mind." Gaara let go of Kiba with such force, it caused him to stumble backwards a bit. Gaara shook his head, biting down on his cheek to keep from exploding. He let out a long sigh. "Where is it?"

Kiba looked up at him, already feeling his eyes begin to swell up with tears. He tried to open his mouth to tell him, but his voice was choked off by tears. Gaara stared at him growing impatient. "Dammit Kiba, I'll tear this fucking room apart if you don't tell me." Kiba swallowed and then took in a deep breath.

"It's...under my...."Kiba didn't finish. Gaara stood there a momant and then looked at his bed. He quickly dropped to his knees and looked under his bed. His eyes landed on the plastic bag. Gaara closed his eyes, wishing that it wasn't true, but it was. He reached under the bed and pulled out the bag. Gaara stood up and dangled the bag in front of Kiba.

"Was it worth it?" Kiba didn't say anything, confused by what he was asking. "Well? Was it?" Kiba looked down, a tear strolling down his cheek. "I'm done." Gaara said, his own voice cracking with the threat of tears. "I can't do this anymore Kiba. I can't hold your hand every fucking day."

"Gaara," Kiba started.

Gaara clenched the bag in his hand. "Do you know what I did today?"

Kiba shook his head, the tears streaming down his face now. "I'm sorry...I couldn't take it...."

Gaara swallowed a lump in his throat. He couldn't stand to see Kiba the way he was, but he was too angry to give in either. "I took my name off of the volunteer list at my church. I gave them back their books." Kiba looked at him confused. "I gave up my fucking religion Kiba! Just so I could be with a fucking drug addict!" Gaara's eyes were flooded with tears. Kiba stood up, not sure what to do. He was shocked with the news Gaara had just told him.

"Gaara..." Gaara wiped his eyes and looked up at Kiba. Kiba suddenly felt a bit of anger on his side. "Six months..." Gaara stared at him confused. "It's been six months and you want to leave me for the first time I smoked pot?" Gaara opened his mouth to talk but Kiba cut him off. "Gaara, I know that dealing with me has to be hard, but think about it...I've done almost any kind of drug you can think of and in six months with you, I was able to stop..." Gaara looked down, his face once again damp with tears. "Today was the first day I didn't tell you about a craving and look at how quickly I fell to it." Kiba's voice cracked off into sobs. "Gaara, without you, there'd be no way I could stop..."

"Kiba..."Gaara cried. He looked down at the floor and wiped his eyes. "P-promise me Kiba," Kiba looked at him, their eyes locking after Gaara looked up."Promise me that if I give you another chance... You won't give this another chance." Gaara said indicating the weed. Kiba stared at the bag and then into Gaara's eyes.

"Promise..." Kiba mummbled. "I promise you Gaara. " Gaara stared at him for a minute and then nodded.

"Okay..." He moved in closer to Kiba and placed his hands behind Kiba's neck. "I promise...to leave religion out of our relationship."

"Gaara, you don't have to-"

"Kiba, I do...I noticed how uncomfortable those prayers made you...and, I think you were right anyways..." Kiba stared at Gaara's soft delicate face, waiting. "It is just a buncha bullshit...I just grew up being taught religion so it was instinct for me to think that way. I realized now that I felt different about it. I was taught that if I didn't believe, I'd be sent to a place filled with tourture, so I wouldn't let myself think otherwise...but now I realize that any place without you is enough tourture..."

"Gaara..."

Gaara locked eyes with Kiba and then smiled. He leaned closer and kissed Kiba sweetly, his lips cold from the rain. Kiba ran his thumb up the side of his cheek, wiping away a tear that was rolling down his cheek. Gaara smiled through the pain and kissed Kiba again.

Kiba pressed his lips into Gaara's with more passion than he ever had before. Their lips brushed against one another's, tounges lightly flickering inbetween. Gaara felt Kiba's hands travel up his shirt, removing the wet cloth from his cold skin. Kiba ran his hands along Gaara's sides, taking in all the detail. He rested his hands on Gaara's hips and connected their lips yet again. Gaara ran his hands along Kiba's arms, then to his shirt, runing his fingers through the thin creases along his white v-neck. He found his fingers at the bottom and began pulling it off. After his shirt came off, Gaara threw it off to the side and then stared into Kiba's eyes. The air was thick and hot suddenly, their breaths lightly touching eachothers skin.

Kiba began kissing him, pushing him back carefully onto the bed. Gaara stared up at Kiba, watching as the man began to remove his pants. He threw Gaara's pants off to the side and began undoing his own. Gaara pulled his legs up, spreading them for Kiba. Kiba started kissing along Gaara's neck, while pulling the two of them under the blankets. Gaara impatiently removed Kiba's boxers and then his own. Kiba hovered over him, then gently set his body against Gaara's. Gaara let out a deep breath, relaxing himself as he prepared for him. Kiba stared at Gaara's naked body, his eyes catching every detail. In just a matter of seconds, his cock was already hard, lust for the red head underneath him suddenly over coming him. He spread Gaara's legs farther apart and slowly eased himself inside of him. Gaara squeezed onto Kiba's hair, letting out another breath to keep himself relaxed. He closed his eyes, arching his back up into Kiba's stomach, as Kiba pushed himself fully into him. Gaara's mouth hung open slightly at the small pain that traveled through him for the short time Kiba had been inside of him. Kiba kissed along his cheek bone, before starting to slowly pace himelf in and out of Gaara.

Pleasure began to tingle through their bodies, first at a slow rate, and then increasing with each passing second. "Kiba..." Gaara breathed against his ear, sending a chill down Kiba's back. He continued to press against Kiba, wrapping his legs around his waist to secure their position. Kiba ran his hand along Gaara's thigh, grabbing him for support while he pushed further into him, and then pulled himself out. Gaara held tight onto Kiba's neck, their foreheads pressed against eachothers. He ran his bottom lip against Kiba's cheek, then kissed him through all of the pleasure.

It was the first time in a long time Gaara hadn't felt that paign of guilt stabbing at his coinscious. In fact, if he remembered correctly, the last time he had felt like this was when he first kissed Kiba. Gaara smiled, staring into his lovers eyes, recalling the precious moment.

Kiba ws still being treated for his addiction, put through counciling and all that good stuff. He was sitting in his bed, eating with Gaara during his break. They had become rather close in the long weeks they spent together. Kiba finally felt that he had someone to rely on for once, and Gaara felt happy just to know he had made such an impact on the kid. Gaara had just finished explaining to Kiba his relationship towards his family. "...I'm not really sure why, but my mother died accusing me of being a demon from hell...That's how I got my name, you know..."

Kiba stared at him with a look of sorrow. "Gaara...that's...I'm sorry."

Gaara shook his head. "Nah, it never really bothered me. I mean, I guess in a way it did, but I eventually got over it. My father died a few years ago, and me and my siblings kinda tried to start over. I guess the main reason why they denied me so much was because of how I used to behave in church. I guess I didn't really respect the place when I was a kid... That, and just following the resentment my father always had for me.."

"Well, that's not your fault... you can't help how you behave when you're a kid." Kiba said. Gaara shrugged it off like it was nothing and bit into the flavored tounge he brought for lunch. Kiba watched him as he chewed, his gaze looking at something on the wall. Gaara felt his eyes and looked at Kiba. His heart jumped immdiately at the overly-cute face he was making. Gaara felt his face redden. He pulled a napkin out of his pocket and tried to hide his face by pretending there was something on it. Kiba sighed and took a bite out of his hospital food, watching Gaara as he bit into the tounge once again. Kiba smiled a bit when he saw a speck of the food resting on his lip. "You got something..." Kiba indicated his face and Gaara immdiately wiped his cheek. "No, it's right- Here lemme get it." He took the napkin from Gaara and reached out to wipe it off his lip but soon found himself staring at them. The soft, smooth texture drew Kiba to him like a magnent. Gaara stared at Kiba's smooth, tan skin, and lost himself in the texture, fogetting what Kiba was even doing in the first place. Kiba placed his lips on Gaara's and shared the most sincere moment they had yet. Kiba's tounge pressed against Gaara's as their lips flickered against eachothers.

It wasn't until a minute later that Gaara pulled away. He covered his hand with his mouth, shocked at what he had just done. Without saying another word, he got up and began to leave. "Gaara, wait-!" Kiba called after him as he watched Gaara rush out of the room. Kiba's head dropped, his eyes staring down at the napkin in his hand.

Gaara closed his eyes ignoring the rest of the memory. He moaned slightly, his lips connected to Kiba's. His heart was pounding so fast in his chest, his nerves numb with pleasure, his mind fogged by lust, it had to be the best moment of his life. It felt almost like Kiba and Gaara had never fucked once before, and that this was their first time. Gaara pushed his tounge passed Kiba's lips and took in the taste with so much intensity. Kiba felt Gaara tighten around him, making a small moan escape his lips. He felt the heat clamping around his dick, making him thrust into Gaara for more. They had sex so many times before, but Kiba could never remembering feeling his lust so high for him than now. He stared at Gaara, wanting more of him. He thrusted harder into him as if the further he went, the more Gaara was his. Gaara threw his head back at the sudden roughness and smiled in ecstasy. "Ohh, Kiba..." He pushed himself against Kiba trying to get him to go further. Kiba got the hint and pushed himself in even further. Gaara wrapped his hands around Kiba's body."Oh!!!K-k-" Gaara cut off into moans, once again arching himself upwards. He bit his lips at an attempt to contain himself, but failed. Kiba breathed down Gaara's neck, feeling his climax coming on. He dug his nails into Gaara's hips rushing into him. Gaara pulled his legs further upward, trying to get more of the tormenting pleasure to run through his small body. He gripped onto Kiba, moaning loudly with the intense amount of bliss. Kiba pressed harder and harder into Gaara, forcing out the lustful moans, and the blissful movement.

They were at it for a good hour or so before Kiba threw himself into Gaara one last time, then collasping beside him. They layed there for awhile, trying to catch their breaths, Gaara cuddling onto Kiba's chest. He closed his eyes, relaxing to the sound of Kiba's beating heart. His breath had steadied, his body calming down from the exciting activity. He ran his hand along Kiba's arm, feeling for his hand. Once his hand slipped into his grasp, he laced their fingers together, then felt the warm lips from his partner press against his forhead. "I love you Kiba..." He mummbled just before he drifted off into sleep.

He wasn't sure if Kiba had responded to it or not, the black slumber took hold of him before he could tell, but he didn't need to hear it from him to know it was true.

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Gaara woke up the next morning to the sound of his phone going off. The ringtone indicated that it was from the hospital. He jumped up looking at the clock, only to see that it was two hours earlier than his normal work schudele. He rubbed his eyes, trying to clear his vision and looking for his pants. His eyes adjusted to the morning darkness, and he spotted his pants on the other side of the room. He quickly jumped out of bed and rushed for his phone. The ringing hadn't stopped, seeming to grow louder with each ring. Gaara reached into his pocket, found it empty, then dug into the next one. He pulled out his phone and quickly flipped it open. "Hello?" He asked, pullling out a blanket and wrapping it around himself.

"Gaara?" A woman from the other end asked. Gaara looked over at Kiba's sleeping body and then stepped out of the room, closing the door gently behind him. The woman's voice had a sound of distress in it.

"Yes? He asked.

"It's about your sister, Temari. She's gone into labor." Gaara sighed slightly, thankful it wasn't anything dangerous. He couldn't help but feel that the sentence she said had decieved him though. "She was asking for you to be there, I figured I could at least let you know."

Gaara nodded. "Thank you, I'll be up there in a minute." He hung up the phone and then quietly stepped back into the room. He set his phone down and then dropped the sheets, picking up his boxers.

He dressed into yesterday's clothes that were still a bit damp from the rain and headed towards the door. He heard the bed creak, then turned to see Kiba rolling onto his side. Gaara bit his lip before deciding to say goodbye. He walked over to the bed and leaned above Kiba. Kiba felt his presence above him and tiredly, his eyes flickered open. He was startled to see Gaara dressed and ready to leave. "Where are you going?" He said, his voice groggy.

Gaara leaned down to Kiba and kissed him. "I gotta go over to the hospital, Temari just went into labor."

"Oh..." Kiba murmured. Gaara sighed and then ran his hand through Kiba's hair. He at least smiled slightly at his touch.

"Will you be okay by yourself?" Kiba nodded. Gaara stared at him for a moment, then kissed him once again and left. Kiba sighed, staring down at the sheets him and Gaara had spoiled the night before, then closed his eyes and let himself drift back to sleep.

Gaara stepped outside to find it once again pouring. He sighed and then rushed over to his silver BMW, climbing quickly inside. He turned the keys in the ignition and began driving towards Konoha's hospital. Gaara yawned, looking at the time. 6:49 a.m. Temari picked the perfect time to give birth. He rubbed his eyes and then nearly passed up the Hospital enterance. Speeding into the parking lot, he quickly parked the car and then turned it off, sitting in there for a moment trying to wake himself up. He left out another yawn, and then climbed out of the car and into the rain.

Gaara rushed into the hospital, and up to Temari's room. He was surprised to see all of the people inside of the small room. His throat tightened once he realized that he'd have to explain to his family why he wouldn't be attending to church anymore. Almost as if they had felt his thoughts, all of his family members heads turned towards him. Gaara swallowed the lump in his throat and stepped further into the room. He walked up to one of the doctors and asked how Temari was coming along. The doctor seemed to be frowning through his mask. He shook his head and then pulled Gaara off to the side. Gaara turned back to the rest of the family only to find their faces bent in curiosity. The doctor turned to Gaara and pulled down his mask. "Something might be wrong. We're not sure what it could be, the baby was doing perfectly fine throughout her entire pregnancy and now we're getting bad responses from it. We haven't told anyone else about this because we're not really sure that this will cause a problem. Once we get the baby out, we can easily figure out the issue and fix it."

Gaara blinked, dumbstruck by the sudden news. "What do you mean bad responses?"

The doctor swallowed thickly before continuing. "Just a moment ago, it's heart stopped. It was only for a few seconds, but it still stopped."

Gaara stared at him, confused. "Stopped? Babies hearts don't just stop and then start up again without something bad happening." The doctor looked at a loss for words. Gaara sighed stressfully and turned back into the room, looking at Temari as the nurses were trying to get her prepared. He shook his head and then turned back to the doctor. "This baby had better not die on her, you hear me?" He threatened. The doctor blinked and nodded.

Though Gaara wasn't exactly on good terms with the rest of his family, Temari had always stood by his side. She was the one that at least tried to make conversation with the boy through his later childhood. While their brother had always acted in an awkward manner towards him, Temari at least seemed to show sympathy. His uncle had dispised Gaara throughout most of his life due to the fact that if he hadn't of been born, his dear sister would still be alive. Due to his mother's dying words, religion had quickly become another excuse for his uncle's hatred towards him. Even though Gaara and his uncle had been talking after the death of his father, the loathing feeling had always lingered in the air whenever they were in the same room. Temari acted as the peacemaker between the family. Calming Yashumaru when Gaara had said the wrong thing, and comforting Gaara when everything seemed to be a force against him. Gaara hadn't exactly been able to do much for Temari so he wanted to at least make sure that the baby his sister carried would come through.

"Yes, of course. "The doctor assured. Gaara stared at him a minute longer to get his point across and then went back into the room. He walked past his Uncle, and then his brother and stood next to Temari to examine her well being himself. He looked to the monitor that was hooked up to her, then back to her. She stared at him with a look of worry. If your brothers a doctor, it isn't usually a good thing if he wants to look at you himself. She put her hand ontop of his to catch his attention. Gaara twitched almost unnoticably, looking up at his older sister. She gave a worried smile. "There's nothing wrong, is there?" She asked.

Gaara felt all of the eyes in the room land on him. He looked into the soft blue color of his sisters, seeing the worry that was eating her alive. She could feel the obvious uneasyness coming from the doctors. Gaara swallowed down a lump and began to talk. "There's....Um," He looked back at the monitor and then to his sister. "There's nothing wrong, don't worry." Temari smiled at the answer, but there was still worry in her face.

"If you say so, then, okay." Gaara felt like he was about to throw up. He looked over at the doctors. They were going through paperwork and didn't seem to have much of a care for what was going on. He looked at the blonde haired and blue eyed doctor he had just spoken to and could see the hint of worry in his face. He turned back to his family and then back to the doctor. Gaara walked up to him, seeing him monitoring the baby, through a small screen.

"Hey." The doctor spun around, his eyes landing on Gaara. "Look, um..." He tried to find a name amongst his clothing.

"Naruto." He replied. Gaara nodded his head.

"Naruto," He ran his hand through his hair. "I didn't mean to, ugh, well."

Naruto smiled in an understanding way. "Don't worry about it, from the looks of things, the baby should be fine. It may just've been a misreading in the monitor, everythings showing up well on here. I hope I didn't worry you, I just felt that I needed to let you know when something happens..." Naruto said apologeticly. Gaara nodded, about to turn and head back over to his sister, but then awkwardly turned back to him.

"Let me do the procedure." Gaara said in almost a demanding way.

Naruto blinked. "What?" He asked like he had mis-heard.

"I know it sounds odd but, Temari doesn't trust the hospital. If I'm doing it then she can relax a little bit. If she's worrying too much, it could affect the way-"

"Gaara, we don't let doctors do any kind of procedure on their family members, it's against the rules." Naruto stated bluntly.

"Well, they don't need to know it's me." Gaara threw back at him.

Naruto shook his head. "I'm sorry but, you yourself aren't in any kind of state to be doing anything on the patient. You're worrying too much. The most I can let you do is stay by her side while she's giving birth." Gaara opened his mouth and then shut it. He was right, Gaara was far from in good shape to even help with the procedure. He'd just have to stay by Temari and talk her through it. Naruto looked back at the monitor, watching it closely to make sure he did just make a mistake. One of the nurses came running up to Naruto.

"The baby's coming." She quickly said. Naruto put down his things and rushed back into the room, Gaara lingering a minute before returning with him. He watched as his sister threw her hands across her body in the shape of a cross and then mummbled a prayer to herself. Gaara bit his lip and walked over to her side. He noticed that the nurses had sent away the rest of their family. Temari smiled. "I asked them to let you stay..." Gaara turned back to his sister, confused by the decision.

"Why me?" He asked.

"Because you're the only one that can handle this... You deal with these kinds of things every day, don't you?"

Gaara could tell that there was a small panic going through his sister. Their father had always told them that it was the doctors fault that their mother hadn't pulled through. He preached about how the humans were messing with the destiny God had chosen for them and that by trying to alter it, they had killed their mother sooner than her time. Temari had always feared that she would never make it through labor and had always been relunctant to have children. She wouldn't of had kids in the first place, but after having a one night stand with a man, she wound up pregnant. The family had begun to resent her for her 'irresponsibility', casting Temari into a world of depression. Gaara had returned his favor by pulling her from it and talking her through the entire thing and out of abortion. Temari was always strong when it came to religion, but unfortunately, she was weak to the influence of alcohol. She had hated herself for her own mistake, her family members resentment feeding her depression. Yashumaru had convinced her that she would be a repeat of her mother for the way she acted, while their older brother Kankuro had just not talked to her. Gaara always treated Temari with respect. He felt like they could connect in a way, both of them feeling the resentment and their mistakes. He had almost confessed to her about Kiba, but kept it to himself, forgetting that Temari had done almost everything by the bible.

Gaara smirked. "Don't worry about it, nothing bad's gonna happen. I promise."

Temari swallowed hard, her eyes starting to swell up with tears. "I'm scared, Gaara." Gaara grabbed her hand and gently rubbed it for comfort. She smiled slightly.

"It's gonna be alright. Take a deep breath." Temari inhaled and then squeezed tightly onto his hand, feeling the baby begining to come through. The nurses began to talk to Temari, telling her to steady her breathing, and not to worry. Gaara felt his hand going numb as she sqeeuzed onto it like a lifeline. It was only a matter of time before she had began screaming from the agonizing pain. It killed Gaara a little inside, having to watch his sister endure so much pain. Sweat had formed on her forehead and around her neck. Gaara kept talking Temari to a calm, everytime she felt like giving up on it. He talked to her with a mellowness that relaxed her only for moments.

It had been a long, agonizing birth, the baby almost out. Gaara was almost positive that Temari had broken at least one of his fingers from grabbing it so tightly. Gaara felt his phone go off in his pants pocket. The tune could barely be heard through Temari's screams and the doctors talking. He recognized the tune as the Anberlin song, the ring tone for Kiba. He wanted to answer it, worrying that he might have been having his cravings again, but his hands were occupied. Gaara then decided to ignore it. 'I'll call him back right after this is over...' He told himself. Gaara turned back to his sister watching her begin to hypervinalate. "Temari, breath in and out." Gaara said to her. She tried to listen to him, trying to steady her breaths but not doing very well. "Just hang on, you're almost done." She nodded and again tried to steady her breaths. Gaara thought back to his phone. Kiba hadn't called back, so it must not've been anything important. Kiba had always called again and again if it was serious. Gaara let the phone call slid into the back of his head, the baby's crying tearing his thoughts back to his sister. Gaara felt air slid to his fingers and then realized that Temari had finally pushed the baby out. She layed on the bed, exhausted and sweaty. Naruto had taken the baby and begun to rinse it off. The nurses allowed the family members back inside, Yashumaru giving Gaara a cold stare as he entered. Gaara ignored it, then felt the presence of his older brother behind him. "How'd she do?" He asked.

Gaara looked up at him and then down to Temari. "She made it..." He replied, shaking his hand trying to get feeling back into it. Kankuro bit his lip, staring down at Gaara's hand.

"It was that bad, huh?" Gaara lifted up his hand, seeing that it had turned a light shade of blue.

He blinked, feeling awakard at the typical conversation he was having with his brother. "You should've seen her." Gaara said with a laugh. Kankuro stared down at Temari and sighed. Gaara felt the tensity of the air increase slightly. Maybe that was the wrong thing to say..."Um, I didn't mean..." Gaara cut off trying to figure out how to word it. "It was just- I wasn't..."

Kankuro looked up at him, confused. "Whaddya talking about?" Gaara blinked, feeling stupid now. Kankuro looked back at Temari, a sad smile on his face. "This was how ma looked when she died...She was so exhausted looking and tired..." Gaara looked down. The last thing he wanted to talk about was the death of his mother. Kankuro rested his hand on Temari's forhead. She had gone completely uncoinscious, too worn out to stay awake any longer. "She's not gonna...you know...?"

"Huh?" Gaara blinked, realizing it was him he was asking. "N-no, she's perfectly fine. This is a normal thing for woman to do after going through labor. Mom just died from..." Gaara looked down again. "Loss of... blood..." He mummbled.

A nurse came up to the three of them, a clip board in hand. "Excuse me, do you know if she had decided a name for the baby?" Yashumaru looked over at the two and then shrugged.

"Not as far as I know..." He told her. The nurse nodded.

"Well, we can always wait for her to wake up and ask her then." She smiled and then turned on her heel and left.

Gaara sat in his car, driving back towards Kiba's house. He had just gotten out of the hospital, leaving to check up on Kiba before he could get a chance to hear what name was given to the newborn. He picked up his phone to call Kiba back, hitting the speed dial before his eyes could catch the voicemail he had. He held the phone up to his ear, listening to the continuing pattern of ringing before Kiba's voice picked up. "Hey, It's Kiba, can't pick up the pho-" Gaara pressed the end button and then hit the speed dial again. He was met by the same response. He hung up his phone and then tossed it on the leather seat next to him.

Gaara found himself sitting at a redlight, stuck in the back of traffic. His eyes met with the glow of 9:19 a.m. He threw his head back and groaned. There was no way he'd be able to make it to Kiba's and back in time for work. He looked down at his cell phone and bit the side of his cheek. 'Maybe he was in the shower...' Gaara drummed his fingers against the stearing wheel. 'I'll at least leave a message...' He decided, picking up his phone and speed dialing Kiba again. He had hoped Kiba would pick up this time, but he was met with the same message. He waited for his voicemail to finish and then left his message. "Hey, its Gaara. I'm on my way over there, I dunno how much longer it'll take, I'm stuck at a light. Call me when you get this." He hung up and then threw his phone back onto the passengers seat.

It took a good twenty minutes before Gaara got past the red light. He took a longer way there, figuring that the main road would be backed up as well, with everyone heading to work at this hour. He bit his lip wondering what it was that kept Kiba from picking up the phone. Just as his mind brought the question up, an ambulence sped by him. ' Hopefully he didn't...' Gaara didn't finish his thought.

[Earlier]

Kiba stretched out his legs, not able to fall back asleep after Gaara had left. An odd pain in his stomach had been keeping him awake. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, pulling himself awake. He looked at the clock seeing that it was only 7:20 a.m. 'Gaara must've just gotten there a few minutes ago...' He thought to himself. Kiba ran his hand against his chest, pushing on his pressure points. Whatever it was, it wasn't going away. He threw the sheets off of his bare legs and walked over to his closet. Kiba pulled out a set of clothes and put on a pair of regular blue jeans, with a black and white baseball tee. He let out a yawn, stretching before the pain in his chest stopped him. Kiba again pushed at his pressure points, hoping it would subside. He sat still a moment, waiting for the pain to stop. It grew weaker, but he could still fell it there. He shook his head, trying not to think about what it may have been.

Kiba spent the next hour or so, suffering with the pain in his chest. Every now and then it'd start pounding with such pain, Kiba would keep himself from breathing until it'd pass. He lay on his bed trying to fight the pain off by taking in deep breaths and exhaleing them slowly. It was now a quarter past eight. 'M-Maybe I shoulde call Gaara...He should be able to tell me what to do...' Kiba picked up his phone, staring at Gaara's phone number. He didn't want to bother him with his sister giving birth. He set his phone down and then walked into the bathroom, opening up the medicine cabinent. He dug through the pill bottles, looking for some kind of pain relievers. Kiba found a bottle of tylenol and quickly popped out two pills from the bottle. He picked up the glass of water they kept in the bathroom and filled it with water. The pain in his chest was emerging again, this time worse than before. Kiba closed his eyes, wincing at the pain, and then placed the pills in his mouth. He brought the glass to his lips, pouring some into his mouth. His eyes widened after realizing he couldn't swallow the water. He dropped the glass, the water from his mouth spilling out, taking the pills with it. His eyes watered as the pain cut off his lungs. He stood still for a moment, trying to get the pain to pass, but it wasn't going anywhere. Kiba quickly rushed into the room, grabbing his phone and calling Gaara. His heart speed up as he began to slip into a panic. He tried to draw in deep breaths, but cut off when the pain was too sharp. Gaara hadn't answered his panic in him began to rise. His voicemail picked up and Kiba began begging for relief into the phone. Tears flooded his vision as the lump in his chest seemed to widen. "G-gaara, Please pick up, please. I-I can't breathe, My chest..., there's something inside my chest... Gaara please, I don't know what to do, It... won't go away, I can't... breathe, Please pick up, I'm scared." He cried into the speaker. The phone slipped from his grasp as the pain spread further. He tried to take in air, but nothing came into his lungs. He grabbed at his chest as the lump seemed to expand further. His hands gripped at his throat, as if he could pull open his lungs and let the air fill them. He cried in agony before hearing the door knob jingle. His eyes quickly landed on the door. "G-gaara, please." He prayed to himself. His lungs felt like they were going to burst trying to pull air in, as his sister walked into the door. Kiba tried to rush over to her, but his body began to fill with a numbing tingle.

Hana looked up and saw Kiba's blue face and dropped everything she was carrying. "Kiba!!" She quickly rushed over to him as he lost his balance and fell. Hana immdiately began to perform CPR, then dug into her pocket for her phone.

"911, what's you emergen-"

"My Brother! Somethings Wrong! H-He can't breathe! Please, I don't know what to do!" Hana yelled.

"Calm Down ma'am. Tell us your location and we'll send an ambulence." The voice repsonded.

Hana took in a deep breath and told them their address. She looked down at Kiba's pale face. "Please Hurry..." She pleaded.

Gaara tried calling Kiba's phone, but was met once again with his voicemail. He was starting to get frustrated."Kiba, pick up your fucking phone! I can't make it to your house, there's too much traffic. Please answer, I don't want to turn around if you need me...Call me as soon as you get this, please. I'm starting to get really worried..." Gaara clicked off his phone and stared down at it. He waited a moment longer for it to ring, then turned around and headed back for the hospital. He'd try and call him again once he got there. Gaara sighed, taking an alternate route back to the hospital. He wished he would've taken this way in the first place, he would've maybe made it in time to check up on Kiba and then head back.

Gaara turned into the parking lot, his eyes meeting the bright red color of the same ambulence that had passed him before. Gaara sighed. What a great way to start the day...He grabbed his phone and hopped out of the car. Today was going to be a hectic day, he could already tell if someone was being brought in this early.

As soon as Gaara punched in, the nurses rushed up to him, asking him to take the patient that had just arrived. "...It's a male at age nineteen, he suffering from some kind of blockage to the lungs." One of the nurses explained. Gaara rubbed his eyes and took the clipboard from the nurse. His heart dropped when his eyes feel onto the name. "Kiba..." he mummbled.

He dropped the clipboard and quickly rushed into the room. Kiba was laying on the bed, crying as the doctors ran around like a bunch of headless chickens. Gaara ran over to his side, seeing that they had just hooked the monitors up to his chest, his heart was pumping at a slow and unhealthy rate. Gaara couldn't believe his eyes. Kiba was barley coinscious. He looked up at Gaara and tried to form a smile, but he couldn't feel a single thing in his body. Gaara snapped to the doctors. "Somebody get him an oxygen mask! He's going to die if we don't get oxygen into his lungs!" He ordered. Gaara quickly began feeling at Kiba's chest, trying to understand what was happening, but Kiba's body wasn't giving any hints. His shirt had been torn open, indicating that Gaara wasn't the first one to examine his chest. A nurse approached him with an oxygen mask. Gaara yanked it from her and quickly wrapped it around Kiba's mouth, squeezing the oxygen into his lungs. Kiba closed his eyes, the pain too much for him to handle. Gaara turned back to the nurse. "We need to scan him, to see what's going on in his system."

The nurse stood there awkwardly. "Can we even do that when he's-"

"Go do it! We don't have time to stand here and talk!" Gaara yelled.

The nurse yelled back. "We probably don't have time to run the scans either! If his lungs are begining to fail, then we don't have the time to run a bunch of tests on him!"

Gaara looked back at her and opened his mouth, only for a sob to escape his lips. He turned back to Kiba. Gaara had never once lost a patient. He had always known what to do when they were rolled into his office. But for the first time, he didn't know what to do. He stared down into Kiba's pale face, squeezing more air into his lungs, keeping his heart beating barely. He pressed his palms against Kiba's chest and pushed into them, trying to get the oxygen to circulate through his body, only to have made a wasted effort. Gaara bit his lip before turning back to the nurse. "Surgery," He mummbled. "We can do surgery. Try and figure it out from that." He said desperately.

A different doctor stepped into the conversation. "Surgery's way out of the question. We're not pulling out the knives until we know for sure what's wrong. If it turns out to be something like internal bleeding then-"

"Well God Dammit! Figure Out What The fuck's Wrong!!!" Gaara yelled at them, tears choking him off. "He's dying here and no one's making an attempt at saving him!!"

The doctor was quiet for a moment. "...If...We could drain his blood. There may be drugs left in his system if he happened to take any lately, but it's a long procedure, if his lungs happen to give out on him during the process, then there's nothing else we'd be able to do, not to mention it'll take some time to hook it up to him." Gaara stared at him, and then nodded.

"Okay, Yeah, we'll do have to..." The doctor nodded and took the nurse with him to grab the machine. Gaara stared at the open doorway, afraid that they'd be too slow. He felt a hand tighten around his own. His head snapped back to find Kiba squeezing onto him, sobbing.

"G-gaara....I-...I love you so much..." He barely managed to say. Gaara locked eyes with Kiba, shaking his head. "I-I'm so sorry..." He cried, wincing at the large lump that blocked his lungs. "It...Hurts so much..."

Gaara ran his thumb along Kiba's cheek. He couldn't find anything to say to him. "I-it'll be okay, I'll fix it." He promised. Kiba's eyes filled with painful tears.

"I don't want to die..." He squeezed tighter onto Gaara. "I want...to stay here with you....Gaara I don't want to die...I'm scared.."

Gaara's cheeks flooded with tears. "D-Don't talk like that, you're gonna get through this." He smiled a bit."I'll fix it, I swear. I did it before, didn't I?"

Kiba stared upwards at the ceiling his eyes going black. "I'm scared..." He breathed.

Gaara wiped the tears from his cheeks. "Don't be scared. I'm here for you, Kiba. You're not going to die on me."

Kiba felt his heart begining to fail on him. "I don't want to die..." He repeated. The heart monitor began beeping slower and slower.

"You're not dying...You can't die..." Gaara cried, trying to convince himself, along with Kiba. "We still haven't gone to the movies..." Kiba's grip began to loosen around his hand. Gaara's lip trembled, he already knew what was coming."We didn't get to see that magician yet either...." He mummbled, squeezing the oxygen mask once again.

Kiba felt the oxygen burst into his lungs, but the feeling quickly dissapeared. His eyes stared up at Gaara, the light above him seeming to grow brighter and brighter, flooding his vision from the person he wanted to see the most. This was his fault. Gaara had told him, told him one more time and he was done. But he didn't listen...He ignored it like everything else. He had to take that last puff, didn't he? Had to light that last blunt. The lump in his chest was just a way to make him suffer for all of the pain he had put everyone else through. For all of the tormenting he had put on Gaara. Not only did he have to deal with someone else's drug addiction, but he also had his own coinsciousness weighing down on him, along with the dissapointment of everyone around him. And Kiba didn't care about it. He had been so selfish towards Gaara....Putting all of his problems on him when Kiba didn't want to deal with them. Not just Gaara either, his family as well. His sister had always been there for him and he pushed her away. He held a grudge against his mother instead of coming to an understanding like Hana had. He couldn't ever remember telling them he loved them, or that he was sorry, or even so much as thank you. Kiba cried harder, the lump holding onto the last string of life left inside of him, ready to snap it at any given moment.

Then, as if a plastic bag had been removed from around his lungs, the pain had just vanished. The light blinded his vision, sinking his eyes in pure white. His ears rang as the noise around him died down. He could no longer hear the doctors scurrying around the room, or the yells from them either. The only noise he could hear was his own breathing. Breathing, he was breathing again. Even though the noise seemed to tell him what he drew in was air, his body felt empty, weightless, the numb feeling that had tourtured him for too long had been replaced by an odd warmth. It took a minute for Kiba to realize that he was no longer strapped down, that lump that had held grasp to his chest was gone. The bright light seemed to hold a vast emptiness to it, an endless space. After a moment, he saw a hand. It reached out for him, wanting him to take it. Kiba stared at it a moment then he reached up to it, feeling it grab tightly onto his.'Gaara...' He thought to himself. It had to be him. Only Gaara could manage to take away all the pain, to take all of it away so quickly, just like he had done before. He smiled, feeling his eyes fill with a blackness from the contact. It wasn't a dark blackness, but a calm one...A peaceful blackness. Kiba felt his eyes rest. Sleeping, that's what he was doing, he was just sleeping. He'd wake up later, and Gaara would be right by his side, to tell him everything was okay. To tell him he had pulled through, barely managed to, but he had pulled through, just like all the other times. Then they'd go home together, they'd crawl into bed together, and make love like they had all the time in the past, they'd wake up the next morning and stay in bed all day, or go see a movie, or just walk around in a park somewhere. Then they'd go back home and crawl back into bed together, just like they had always done. Kiba let the last tear roll down his cheek before his coinsciouness escaped him.

The room rang with a beep, the heart monitor failing to detect any beats "No, no, no, no." Gaara mummbled. He quickly began pumping the oxygen into Kiba's lungs, looking to the heart monitor to see if it was getting to him. The doctor and the nurse stepped in with the machine pulling it towards Kiba's body. They stopped once they noticed Gaara trying to bring Kiba back through shocking him. Gaara pressed the metal into Kiba's chest, watching as his body moved upward with the electricity. He turned his head to the heart monitor, it's endless beep ringing in his ears. He tried again, but had gotten the same result. After a third time, Gaara collasped onto the bed not allowing his mind to accept what had happened. The doctors all began to move out of the room, going to record the failed patient, or to help return the machine back into it's original room. Gaara strained his ears listening for a heart beat. His heart skipped when he heard the faint thumping, but it was easily crushed as he realized he had been listening to his own beating heart. He felt Kiba's skin grow cold in his grasp.

Gaara closed his eyes, tears flowing down his cheeks. "I didn't get to show you my nephew..." He cried, Kiba's hand limp in Gaara's grasp. "I didn't get to say I love you....." His head dropped onto Kiba's chest, his tears falling uncontrollably. "Oh, Kiba..." He cired. "Kiba...I love you. I love you so much...I'm sorry I ever yelled at you, I'm sorry for pushing you away before," Hana had stepped into the room, her shock silenced by the painful picture before her. "Kiba, I'm so sorry..." Gaara whined, not wanting to believe this was actually happening. Not wanting to believe he had just lost his only love..."Kiba..."

Gaara sat mindlessly at his desk. His eyes were focused on the wood, but it wasn't what he was looking at. He was looking at Kiba, a happy, smiling Kiba. A tear rolled down Gaara's cheek, unnoticed by him. It had been a month since Kiba's death, the pain as fresh as it was the day he died. They performed an autopsy on his body to find out what had happened and discovered that a blood clot from near his stomach had traveled to his lungs and had gotten stuck in a major vein, blocking oxygen from traveling to his heart. His death had been announced at 10:29 a.m. on October 23rd. Gaara was taken off of work until he was able to pull himself back together, not being able to return until everything was taken care of. His family had found out about his relationship with Kiba and, to his surprise, Kankuro and Temari were okay with it. His uncle was completely sickened by it and how his siblings approved of it and left the town, and hasn't been heard of yet. The death had managed to bring Gaara slightly closer to his family, but being closer hadn't affected him slightly. His heart had been crushed and there was no way to cure it. He promised Kiba he would bring him back, promised to fix everything, promised to make it all better, but the words slipped right through the meaning. He hadn't been able to make it all better, he hadn't been able to fix everything, he hadn't been able to bring Kiba back. He let Kiba's life slid right through his fingers. If he had known it was a blood clot, if he knew that, he would've been able to keep his promise.

Gaara's jaw tightened, thinking about Kiba's dying words. 'I don't want to die..' The words that had brought them together in the first place. The words he spoke when Gaara saw him as nothing but a patient. The painful words that had seperated them just as easily. Gaara's eyes wondered over his desk, landing on the screen of his phone. He clicked a button that turned the screen on and saw that he had an unheard voicemail. He wasn't going to listen to it, but his finger's glided over the buttons second naturely. He put the phone on speaker and set it down. "You Have One Unheard Message;

"G - gaara, Please pick up, please. I - I can't breathe, My... chest, there's something inside my chest... Gaara please, I don't know what to do, I t ...won't go away, I ...can't breathe, Please pick up, I'm scared." Gaara stared down at his phone, his eyes flooding over with recognizition of the voice coming from the other end.

"Kiba..." He mummbled. Gaara watched the screen of the phone as the time of the message beeped on and off at 08:23 a.m. Gaara's throat tightened. Kiba had suffered through that for over two hours. Why hadn't Gaara picked up the phone when he was with Temari? If he answered the call, Kiba could may still be breathing. If Gaara had just answered the damn phone, Kiba could've still been alive. Gaara cried silently to himself, trying to pretend that Kiba was still with him, and that he was just in his room right now, watching a movie, or playing with his dog. Gaara began sobbing, wrapping his arms around himself. He'd no longer have someone to go to when he was confused. He'd no longer have someone to talk to and take care of. He'd no longer have someone he could hold in his arms, or someone to kiss, or someone to confide in, or someone to make love with. It was all over. Kiba had passed on, while Gaara was left alone to cry after him.

Gaara's shoulders began shaking as he cried harder for Kiba. His heart hurt so much. Kiba was on his mind all the time, and all the time Gaara was hurting, crying. He wanted Kiba back so much. He wanted to hold Kiba in his arms so badly, and rest his head against his chest so he could hear Kiba's beating heart. Gaara closed his eyes, knowing he'd never be able to again.

There was a light tapping on his door. Gaara wiped his eyes. "C-come in." He answered through choked tears. The door creaked open and Temari stepped in. Her face was soft and sad, her eyes showing the pain she felt watching her brother falling apart. Gaara stared forward at the desk, wanting so badly for things to go back to before.

Temari opened her mouth, having a hard time trying to get out what she was trying to say. "The...Funeral's starting soon." She barely mummbled. Gaara didn't seem to have heard her. His face was so full of pain and sorrow. Temari bit her lip, hating to see him like this. "You know he wouldn't want to see you like this." She said. Gaara shook his head slightly and then smiled, a smile that was too sad to even be considered a smile.

"I wonder what he would want to see me in..." He mummbled, invisioning Kiba before him, telling him what to wear. "He always said I could pull off brown..." Temari stepped further into the room, closing the door and then walking closer to Gaara. She put her hand on his shoulder and found herself almost on the verge of tears. Temari's touch seemed to make the pain in Gaara's heart worse. He turned around and looked up at her, his teal eyes full of regret and pain. Temari smiled sadly and pulled Gaara up, trying to encourage him to get dressed. Gaara felt Temari's arms wrap around his body, his eyes heavy with tears. He cried loudly, burying his head into her shoulder. "It's not fair, Temari. It's not fair..." Temari ran her hand up and down Gaara's back for comfort.

"I know it's not..." She pulled back slightly and lifted Gaara's face up. "Kiba wouldn't want to see you crying over him like this, just like you wouldn't want to see him cry so much for you. I know it's hard, Gaara, believe me. I wish there was something I could do to make that pain go away, but there isn't. It's going to be there the longer you hold on to it. I'm not telling you to forget about Kiba...just," She wiped away the tears that were falling down Gaara's face with her thumb and then let go of his chin, resting her hands on his shoulders. "Live for him. Live for the things that he didn't get a chance to see. Take both of you two there, don't linger behind."

Gaara stared down at the floor, thinking about her advice. "...Live for Kiba..." He mummbled. "...I..." He cut off, shutting his eyes, trying to keep the tears from flowing over again. He wanted to try and believe that he could, believe that he could take both of them and move on. He didn't want to move on, but he knew he had to. Temari was right about that, he couldn't allow himself to linger when he had more to live for. Gaara swallowed a lump in his throat, without Kiba, it didn't seem like he had anything else to live for.

Temari watched him a moment longer and then exhaled. "Kankuro's waiting out in the car. Just come down whenever you're ready." She looked at Gaara and then smiled. "Gaara, it wasn't your fault..." She said before she turned and left the room.

Gaara stared blankly at the closed door, Temari's words seeming to drift around in his head. He sat there for some time before finding it in himself to stand up and move towards the closet. He pulled open the door, and stared blankly at the black suit he had only wore once in his life time, which had been at his father's funeral a few years ago. Gaara ran his hand along the texture, wondering if it may have gotten smaller on him. He pulled it out and undressed. His heart felt heavy and his mind a mess. The cloth slid easily onto his small body, the suit once slightly too big for him, was now a perfect fit. He put his black jacket on, buttoning it slowly. After he had fully dressed he stood in front of the mirror, staring at his torn apart reflection. He closed his eyes, picturing Kiba standing behind him, with his hands on his shoulders admiring the way the suit fit him. He'd kiss Gaara along his neck, while running his hands along his stomach, feeling the smooth skin beneath the creases. He'd tell Gaara that he looked beyond amazing and then spin Gaara around into his arms and kiss him, kiss him with so much passion and love. He'd hold the kiss longer than it was meant to last, and then kiss him again after it ended. Gaara would push him back slightly and mockingly tell him he had to leave, while Kiba would continue to test his limits.

Gaara felt the warm liquid run down his cheeks, his eyes burning from all of the tears he had cried in the past week. He opened his eyes and took in a deep breath. Gaara stared forward at his reflection, still picturing Kiba behind him. He smiled to himself and grabbed his phone. He looked down to see that he was still on his voice mail. He saw the one message he had and ran his thumb over the screen before snapping the phone shut. Gaara stared painfully at the phone. "I'll see you in a few..." He mummbled, turning towards the door and pulling it open, then climbing down the stairs. He stood in front of the main door and took in a deep breath before reaching his hand out, turning the door knob. It'd be the first time Gaara had stepped outside since Kiba's death. Gaara eased his way through the door way and began walking towards Kankuro's car. To his surprise, it was pouring rain. He stopped in his tracks and looked up into the sky, the rain pelting down against his skin. A small smile spread across his face. "Live for both of us..." He said aloud to himself. "Will that make up for the movies?" As if Kiba had been watching him, his answer came to Gaara when his phone went off, playing the ringtone for Anberlin. He pulled out his phone and found a reminder notice. It had been for Kiba's seventh month without the drugs. Gaara smiled and nodded his head, not being able to control the tears that ran down his cheeks. "...Always love you." He said with the song, standing a moment longer in the rain before Kankuro honked his horn.

Gaara turned to the car and saw his siblings staring at him and waiting. He looked back up into the rain, staring at the grey clouds that sent them towards him. "I know you're up there Kiba, wait for me." He mummbled before turning towards the car and forcing his body to move forward.

Gaara pulled himself into the car and shut the door, staring down at the floor, before pulling his seat belt on. Kankuro looked at him from the rear view mirror, then started the car. Temari sat in the passengers seat, looking out the window, her aura still full of worry. Next to Gaara sat his small little nephew, sound asleep in his booster seat. Gaara sighed, turning his head and looking out the window himself as Kankuro pulled away from the house and began driving towards their destination that was an hour away.

Gaara's eyes watched blankly as the houses and cars flashed past them. Once everything began to slow down, he turned to the front of the car and saw that they had been stopped by an accident. An ambulence was pulled off to the side, while two bodies were being pulled out of one of the cars, while the other medics worked on the person in the second car. Kankuro sighed, staring at the bodies that you could tell weren't going to make it.

A cop then stepped out and began re-directing the traffic. Temari looked back at Gaara from the mirror, worried what the accident might have reminded Gaara of. Gaara's face was blank and sad. His eyes were red and puffy from crying so much lately, but no tears were flooding them. He turned away from the graphic scene and stared down at his hands.

The dead bodies had immdiately reminded him of his loss. Gaara bit his cheek, remembering his promise to Kiba. He'd live for him, not cry for him. Today would be the last day he cried for Kiba without doing something about it. He wasn't going to let Kiba's death kill him as well. It'd just be a constant reminder of what he lost.

Kankuro stared out the window, looking at the scene to see that the only man that had survived was now being arrested for possesion of illegal drugs as well as drinking under the influence. Kankuro sighed. "You know, it makes it hard to believe that there's a God when the bad guys always win..."

Temari looked over at him and then down at the ground. "...Yeah..." She mummbled, fidgeting with her bracellet. Gaara stared at Kankuro from the back seat, surprised he had said that. His mouth was opened slightly as if he was going to say something, but no words came out. He turned his attention back out the window and looked back up into the clouds to find the sun trying to force its way through. The rain pelted down still, but not as fiercly as before.

Gaara stared out at the passing cars and began thinking about the people they had just passed. He wondered if the people that were killed were going to be missed. And if they were, were the people that will miss them be as hurt as Gaara had been by Kiba's death? Then he thought back to the drunk man that had been arrested, wondering if anyone would be thankful for him surviving.

Gaara sighed, realizing just how easily death could claim someone. Something as easy as a heart attack, to something like a car crash, death was everywhere you turned your head. The only thing that kept it so unnotinced were the amount of people that hadn't run into it yet. Gaara smiled to himself. Whether he liked it or not, Kiba had met death, and Gaara would soon as well. It could be in years, or seconds, but when it happened, Gaara knew he'd be prepared for it, and he knew that he would accept it willingly, no matter where it was that death would take him afterwords. He'd be ready for it, ready to be reunited with Kiba and spend enternity with him.