TITLE: Time to kiss the world goodbye
AUTHOUR: TaleWeaver
FANDOM: Accel World
DISCLAIMER: None of the characters herein or lyrics quoted belong to me.
PROMPT: For 'The Song Time Challenge' at . Prompt was 'Falling Down' by Oasis (4:29), and the title is taken from the lyrics.
CHARACTERS/PAIRING: Arita Harayuki/Kuroyukihime. Harayuki POV
SUMMARY: Haru only took five seconds to push the button. But then, he WANTED to destroy the world.
AUTHOUR'S NOTES: the first time I saw the Accel World opening credits, I was immediately struck not just by the metaphor of the first few images – Harayuki wandering in the desert, lost and alone, until Kuroyukihime shows him how to become part of the wider world – but how incredibly APT that metaphor is. Until he gains Brain Burst, Haru is very much lost and alone in his own life, who only really keeps going because of the raw seed of grim determination he doesn't realise he possesses. It's his gratitude to and growing adoration of Kuroyukihime that nutures that seed into his desperate will to always keep fighting, no matter how high the cost or how small the chance. Forget Lelouch Vi Britannia, or Leonard Testarossa: for my money, Arita Harayuki is the anime character who most desperately wants to destroy the world. And he gets to do just that – in fact, Haru destroying his world is how the story begins! So how could I pick anyone else for a fic based on a song about the world ending?
"If you accept it, the world you have known until now will be completely and utterly destroyed and then rebuilt into something you can't even conceive."
"Just what was I was hoping for. As long as this world... breaks."
Kuroyukihime and Harayuki; Accel World Volume 1 (Yen Press English language release)
He's never told anyone but Kuroyukihime, but Harayuki truly believes that in the moment when he saw the words 'Welcome to the Accelerated World' burst into flames, he felt the world burn, crumble and re-form around him. His Duel Avatar may be named Silver Crow, but in truth Haru thinks of himself as a phoenix, reborn from the ashes of his former self.
He understands, now, that no one really has it easy. No one has a soul without wounds. His beautiful, accomplished friend Taku was slowly being eaten up by insecurity as the remorseless pressure his family put him under eroded all his self-confidence. His bright, Genki-Girl Chiyu saw the two most important people in her life after her family edge away from her inch by inch, helpless to stop it, even though she was dating one and saw the other every day. As for the girl he didn't yet know or love - well, it's really no wonder Kuroyukihime threw herself into the Accelerated World at the tender age of eight, or that she fought so ruthlessly. But at the same time... none of them were so alone, or suffered so relentlessly, as he did.
They all wanted to change their world; but he was the only one who longed with every fibre of his being to destroy the world, because anything had to be better than this.
When Kuroyukihime sent him Brain Burst, symbolised by her trademark black butterfly, Haru gave her his heart in return, sealed by the flames that marked his passage to a new world. For when he pushed that button, it wasn't just Silver Crow who found a leader to follow, a Princess to serve as her Knight-Protector. Arita Harayuki found the purpose of his life. To guard, serve, and above all love Kuroyukihime, the Black Lotus. Even when they make it to Level Ten together, even when the game ends, he will still have that.
It took a very long time – years, in fact – for Kuroyukihime to truly comprehend what she had done for him. He'd told her, of course, more than once in both the Accelerated and Real Worlds, but it was the day-to-day conversations that became more frequent as their bond grew that gradually let her understand. As with any couple, the longer they knew each other, the more they talked; the more they talked about things that weren't strategies or fight techniques the more they casually mentioned things and people from their pasts. It was only when she realised how few of his memories before her were happy ones that she truly began to see.
It was only when he met her family that Haru began to understand how deep the wounds on Kuroyukihime's own soul ran; that he realised that his unwavering, unconditional love for her might very well save her in the same way she had already saved him. That was when he finally began to not only understand, but accept, why she loved him.
It was Sky Raker who first suggested that he read the ancient poem, about the journey from the body's destruction through Hell, Purgatory, and Heaven; she even sent him a copy of the Japanese translation. But it was his beloved who tutored him in English until he could read the closest thing to the original available.
Even in the privacy of neurospeak, he stuttered as he asked his girlfriend and King if he could give her a nickname of his own – an endearment and form of address wrapped up in a single word. Kuroyukihime almost glowed as she eagerly assented, and waited to hear the name he had chosen for her.
Then Haru told her the name that his lips would never speak louder than a whisper or a prayer; a name bearing all the love that filled his heart to the edges and beyond.
Beatrice.
The manifestation of love, who brought him out of Hell and guided him to Paradise.
FINI
NOTE: The poem Sky Raker gives Haru to read is 'The Divine Comedy', by Dante Aligheri. The first part, Dante's Inferno, is probably the best known (and yes, this is where Dante of the Devil May Cry video games/anime gets his name from). If you don't understand the significance of Haru giving Kuroyukihime the nickname 'Beatrice', (pronounced 'be-ah-tri-te') go to wikipedia and look up 'Divine Comedy' and 'Beatrice Portinari' in particular for her role in it.