An Anthology of blue
Midnight blue: Starless nights
'Don't be afraid'
She has long ceased to fear him, the monster behind the mask or rather she doesn't stop to fear him, it is rather eclipsed by hate, her fear... It gives her solace though that at one point he has come to fear her as much as she used to.
'It is so dark'
It is no longer Han. Her compass was lost under starless skies, there is nothing to guide her , to guide them through their hate.
In the recesses of their minds are maelstorms, untrudged territories of darkness, of wants, of loathe so intense and vehement.
Their fights, those eloquent dances of menace, feel like farces, like elaborate cosmic jokes of something more, something unrealised ... something deeper .. A payback of sorts, as if they exist to solely destroy one another in retribution , in a designated course they can't stray from.
They fight as though they cheated one another out of each's respective destiny. Or maybe both were somehow cheated.
It is so dark, almost suffocating and Rey sees nothing, This blue, this neverending midnight blue drapes and prevails over all other colours .. It paints and hides the pure cerulean sky .. that reminds her so much of Finn. It consumes both their wholes, leaving them stranded in such bleak no man's land.
Prussian blue: The slow dripping poison.
'Don't be afraid'
Something within him has dissociated, has been substituted with an entirely different thing.
The once colourful and bold turned into something toxic, something insipid and washed out.
Hunger ... Power ... Control, such lethal triadthat is getting to his head
& Oh she wants to tell him that nothing can ever be under control, there are always anomalies, no fail proof plans, such primary lesson smart men have learnt so long ago .. Such lesson Obi Wan has failed to teach him So far. But he is becoming toxic, so toxic like cyanide that he is killing everybody near him.
He isnot Anakin, she doesn't know him anymore.
He has killed her, the last shred of himself and they have both lost home.
Electric blue: the brigdes burnt between us
'I want him back'
It attracts and repulses at the very same time, between them, there is a spark, an electric beam tying them at both ends, polar opposites ... Can't stand to be near yet never entirely free to roam, never being able to stay apart.
In the end,the blue electric beam burnt those edges around them, charred them in the wake of their differences, the bitter truth that nothing ever goes according to plan, whatever you try, however you love, the world functions to no man's likening.
Oh, how she wants to turn back the tides ... Maybe they wouldn't make the same mistakes.
'I want him back'
She wants them both back home. Han, the old unbreakable Han and her son, her little boy.
In the end, Han comes back, still they were bound to orbit each other, the dark gravity between them wouldnot let them escape each other.
'Bring him home'
Only that electricity has burnt down the last thread between them...
He is home.
Teal: the longing in your eyes
'Welcome home'
The other end of the spectrum, her eyes so clear and bright, innocent yet unrelenting, a mirror of her fragile self, the one she hides so well beneath jagged edges and roughened up façades..
There is a longing in her eyes, one he knows so well, yet refrains from mulling over it for long,
Home, Cassian thinks.
Her eyes remind him of home, the tendril of hope, of yearning that he never knew was still alive within him.
He'd catch himself smiling more, tight and fleeting but genuinely smiling nonetheless. She would catch his eyes drifting, looking across her way with such admiration and fervent longing ...that had things been different would have almost taken her breath away.
'Welcome home'
He slips away as she heaves one last breathe against him, one long sigh, a submittance, a resignation to a fate They were waiting for all their lives, the whole time.
They were fighting to die.
'Hold on to me, lean on me ... Let me carry your weight, this burden you have carried all your life'
Though neither of them speak it, it is the purest thing he has ever felt, they have ever felt, in a very long time, and he is tempted to think beneath the sky that is breaking apart, falling above them , that this is as closest to heavens as might be, that she is as closest to angels as might be.
It is but a breath that they don't exhale, but a thud and a wail, a searing gush of wind before it is all over.
'Welcome home'