"I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
Anywhere, I would've followed you"
The rain lightly drizzle as the male members of the Beale family slowly carry a black casket out the church. The men walk down the step with caution, careful to not slip and drop the casket. The casket which holds someone everyone loved. Following behind, Chloe's mother weeps endlessly as her sister holds her. At the end Trailing behind them is Beca Mitchell; holding a expressionless look. She's holding everything in her. She can't stumble, fall, and cause a scene. Yes, the pain is unbearable, but she must stay strong.
Beca continues to hold the gaze when she watch the casket lower down to the ground. She can hear Chloe's mother weeping then the voice of Chloe's father whispering comforting words to his wife, attempting to not break down, but fucks sakes the man lost his daughter so he holds on tight to his wife, sobbing for he lost his little girl.
Beca stands there expressionless, it doesn't feel real. It still doesn't feel real when the casket is lowered and is slowly being buried. It seems like she can't move; can't look away until a hand lands on her shoulder which makes her tear her attention away from the casket to the tall blonde; Aubrey Posen.
She's staring at her with a tight lip that soon fade away as a choke sob escape her lips. It comes crashing down, everything comes rushing in. The sudden pain her heart stabs. She touches her chest for it burns. Beca feels her hot tears free falling like a waterfall
"Aubrey, this is real!" She cries out then points to the casket,"Chloe is- Chloe is-"
She couldn't finish the sentence for she choke on her own tears. Beca knees become like jelly, she's shaking then slowly falls, but Aubrey swoops in to catch Beca, embracing her before the brunette can fall to the ground.
Aubrey and her weren't the best of friends- hardly consider friends- more like best friend of my girlfriend so I have to be nice. The two always had this tension towards each other- Aubrey may piss her off a lot and she may as well piss the blonde off but at this moment- the two need each other more than ever. Beca may lost her best friend and lover but Aubrey also lost someone special; her best friend of so many years. Aubrey lost the one person who stayed with her, supported her when her father didn't, Aubrey lost something she can never have again.
The two hug tightly before they separate.
"If you need someone to talk, I'm here for you."Aubrey sadly whispers.
"Same to you."Beca looks away.
The blonde gives her hand a squeeze before she walks over to Chloe's parents to drive them home.
Jesse soon replace the empty space.
"Beca, it's raining hard, you should go home."Jesse whisper softly, grabbing her hand.
"I can't go back home when Chloe is here," She wipes a tear,"When she's here alone."
"You'll get sick if you continue to stand here in the rain."
"Good. Maybe I'll get sick enough to die."
Jesse grabs her by both shoulders, his expression hardens,"Beca, do not say that, okay?" The brunette looks away,"Let's go, I'm driving you home."
He pulls on her arm but Beca slip her arm out of his grip,"No. I'll drive home. You go home and comfort Aubrey because she needs you more." Jesse nods, understanding that Beca needs to be alone. He knows her enough that her way of processing this is to be alone, so he walks, stops then turns,
"Beca, please be careful."
He then turns around and head towards the parking lot.
Beca stays alone with her thoughts. It's odd how the world decide to rain today as if it also feels the loss.
Her body burns, and each rain drop seem to sizzle in her skin.
'Why does losing someone hurts this much?'
'Because Chloe wasn't just someone. She was the moon and the stars, she was your universe.'
She takes one look before she heads out.
Her thoughts seem to run on five words; I should of stop her.
Arguments between Chloe and Beca were rare but when they fought; they fought badly. This time however; seem to be really bad. The brunette glares at the redhead who is pacing back and forth,
"Seriously Chloe, I don't see what the problem is?"
"That's just it Beca! You never seem to know what the problem is!"
"Well sorry I can't pinpoint what the problem is this time!"Beca cross her arms over her chest."What is it this time Beale?"
"Oh, so you want to know?"
"I did ask, didn't I?"She snap back with sarcasm .
"God! you're such an asshole!"Chloe shouts. She shakes her head,"You been so distance lately. You spend all your time on your laptop and work."
Beca rolls her eyes,"Oh my god, this again?"She crosses her arms,"Chloe, I'm busting my ass off so I can be where I want to be!"
"But you never spend anytime with me!"She stop pacing and turn to Beca,"I miss spending time with you."
"I don't have time to waste!"
"Oh so you're saying I'm a waste of time?!"
"Oh my god, that's not what I'm saying!"
"Then what are you saying?"Chloe ask once again pacing back and forth.
"What I'm saying is I can't let you hold me back from succeeding!"In that moment, Beca knew she fucked up. It's not what she meant- she didn't mean it.
That sentence seem to catch Chloe off guard since the Redhead stop pacing and stare at the brunette with her mouth slack.
"Oh so I'm holding you back now?!"Chloe cries.
"Chloe that's-"
"-No, say it!"Chloe shouts,"Say it!"
"Fuck fine! You want to hear it? You want to hear me say that you're holding me back from my success?"Beca couldn't shut her mouth- anger fill her body and whenever she angry- she says things she doesn't mean."You want me to say that your distracting me from my career? Is that what you want to hear?"
Tears fill Chloe's eyes as she swiftly heads out the door."Chloe no wa-"
"-No don't even try Beca. I'm leaving since I'm holding you back!"Chloe furiously walks out in the rain towards her car.
"Fine leave then! I don't fucking care!"Beca shouts as the car drives out the driveway of their house onto the rainy streets- never to return back...
Beca holds herself tightly as the memory plays through her mind. Thoughts of 'what if' and 'Could of' runs through her mind. She's full of sorrow and guilt. She knows it's her fault that maybe she should have apologies or stop Chloe from driving off in the rainy streets. Maybe if she didn't let her anger out, just maybe, Chloe would be alive.
She's a idiot for not stopping her,"This is all your fault, Chloe's blood is on my hands."
She rubs her teary eyes as she walks closer to her car where she'll drive back home...
Not home, just a building that is fill with memories...