Disclamer: I do not own Avatar or any characters mentioned here
My first fic... a small thing reflecting Zuko's thoughts one night
It was a clear warm, but breezy night, and the waxing moon had just fully escaped the shadow of one of the few clouds in the sky. There was a surprising amount of natural light though for the almost-half moon illuminating the canyon and the outskirts of the Western Air Temple, yet it could have also been due to the many stars that hung from the dark heavens. The night seemed too beautiful to be real, yet Zuko had to admit that he was grateful for it.
The late teenager was in fact, sitting by one of the columns of the temple, his warm brown eyes half-closed while thoughts raced through his brain. It was just one of the countless nights he spent up, unable to rest peacefully… but then again, did he deserve it? Yes, it was true that most of the people in the group had gotten used to his presence, and he was also learning to adapt to his new companions, but that did not mean the prince did not have any regrets in the past.
It wasn't the guilt of hunting the Avatar (which was what was one of the only things the grouped scolded him for), but the fact that he ha betrayed two people who genuinely did try to help him: Uncle Iroh and Katara. Zuko had started to open his eyes ever since the young Earth-Kingdom boy shunned him after finding out he was from the Fire Nation, even after saving his family from the village bandits, but that was something he couldn't have changed at that time.
Yet, Zuko had betrayed the one man that had always stood by him. Iroh was the only one who showed any affection after his banishment… and he repaid his uncle how? By always taking the old man for granted and throwing his uncle's advice aside when Zuko should have listened the most. And when Katara was ready to heal his scar in the crystal cave, he showed his gratitude by working with Azula. He couldn't even remember why he joined her a heartbeat! Perhaps he was doing the right thing now, but one good deed did not redeem years of wrongdoings… and he had already gotten a reputation as a traitor.
And now there was Mai. She had just risked everything to save him, even after he had broken her heart... could they find a way to save her in return? Would she support his new cause and accept his new companions? If he couldn't do anything, would he still be a traitor for not repaying the favor?
Was he confused about what he wanted to do?
What he wanted to be?
What he wanted to happen?
Absolutely not, but it would be a while before he could sleep peacefully. Perhaps… perhaps if he trains the Avatar well, helps defeat his father and sister, and somehow does his best to take care of whatever follows if he is alive… perhaps then he could rest peacefully.