Disclaimer: Code geass and Yugioh, and all their characters are the property of Sunrise and of Kazuki Takahashi, respectively.

CHAPTER 1: PIZZA

CC woke up earlier than usual today. Rising up from her bed, she seemed more anxious than usual. She had been given a note last night that someone was giving her a large amount of pizza today, at precisely 10:00. To her, it didn't seem unusual at all, as long as there was pizza. The emerald haired girl always liked pizza for as far as she can remember. In fact, her first memory was that of her chewing a slice of mozzarella pizza. Donning her usual argent clothing, she went down her home's stairs, passed by her refrigerator for a slice of last night's olive pizza, and walked calmly to her car. Then she remembered that she didn't have a car, so she did what she usually does in such situations; mooch off her neighbors.

"Lelouch! I need your car!" She looked at the watch at her right wrist. "Its 9:32 and I want to be on time to eat my free pizza!" She yelled to the house next door. "Get your own ride, you witch!" Her neighbor, a raven-haired man about her age replied with spite. Lelouch had always hated having to do what CC told her to, but often he did, partly because they had a past together, and partly because she had an album full of pictures that showed Lelouch making out with women. This wouldn't bother Lelouch if he wasn't dating 4 of them at the same time. Using her trusty "Affair Card", CC acquired a ride, even convincing Lelouch to drive after telling him that his current girlfriend will break his neck once she sees "photo 32." Lelouch stopped his car in front of a large office building. "Is this the place?" Lelouch asked. Replying with an affirmative nod, He dropped CC off the building and drove away. Looking at the floor and office number at her note, CC hurried off, eager to gorge possibly her weight in pizza. Reaching a pair of metal doors, CC imagined the amount of pizza that may be behind the doors. Impatiently she pushed the two doors open, but was surprised to see not pile upon pile of free pizza, but a gathering of many of her friends, along with a gray-haired man sitting on a foldable chair in the middle of the group. "Okay, I'm out of here." CC turned around and tried to leave, but Lelouch pushed her back in, and locked the doors. "Lelouch! What's the meaning of this!" She spoke furiously. Then she realized what the entire thing was. "Ms...". The gray-haired man at the center looked at a chart in disbelief. "CC? That's a weird name. Any who, your friends have staged an intervention." CC was furious. She desperately looked for a way out the room, but found only windows that led to a painful drop into a dog pound, which for some reason, housed rabid coyotes and a disgruntled Pomeranian named Puddingtops. "Lelouch, let me out of here, or they ALL see the entire album!" Instead of cringing, Lelouch smugly showed her a black photo album, and then burned it in front of everyone. Realizing she had no way out, CC decided to go through the ordeal. "Very, well shall we start?" the gray haired man made CC sit down on a swivel chair, convinced it will ease her tension. "Let's begin shall we?" The gray haired man sat down. "My name is Eldritch Samuels. I'll be facilitating your intervention for this day." CC clenched her hands on her chair. Everyone in the room was looking at her, some familiar, others not as much.

"What the hell is he doing here?" CC pointed to a nondescript man at the back of the room. Everyone looked to the direction CC was pointing. "Tamaki! This is a private intervention! Get out!" A tall, intimidating man yelled. Tamaki was a relatively minor person in not only CC's, but everyone else's lives. He usually serves as utility for the group, and such has little or no importance to everyone. "But Mr. Todou..." Tamaki tried to reason to Todou, but to no avail. "Tamaki, I'm giving you 3 minutes to get out. If you don't, I'll personally break your neck." But Tamaki was unfazed with Todou's threats. "I'm an important part of this group and you all know it! Who went to the sewers to get sewer gator pictures for Lakshata's scrap album? Me! Who carried all of the supplies AND Deithard's rock collection during our trip to Mount Fuji? Me! Who pushed Ougi out of the way when during that buffalo stampeded during our trip Africa? Me! Who..." Tamaki's excruciating rants were cut short by Kallen throwing him out of the window. "But I don't have a rock collection..." Deithard thought to himself. "Can we start now? I want to eat pizza now!" CC complained. It was bad enough that was tricked into coming to an intervention, but if there was no pizza... "That's exactly why we're here, Ms. CC." Eldritch began. It didn't take long for CC to realize the purpose of the intervention. "Ms. CC, you have an addiction to pizza." Eldritch's words hit CC hard. No one, not even Lelouch, had the guts to say those 6 words to her. Furious, she grabbed Eldritch by his collar and shook him. "Say. That. Again. I dare you." Her voice was filled with malice. If it were any other thing, she wouldn't mind, but this is pizza. This is personal. Asking for help, Todou and Kallen restrained her before she breaks his neck. "Okay." The now-nervous psychiatrist fixed his plaid shirt and continued with the intervention. "Let's try this again, this time, with no chocking." Eldritch took a breath of air. "Your friends... and Tamaki are worried that you may be having a dependency to pizza." CC scoffed at the very idea. "I'm not addicted to pizza." She retorted. "If I was, I would've gone berserk when I realized there was no pizza here when you said there will be pizza." Her voice steadily shifted from calm to crazy as she said her last statement. Aside from that, her hands were shaking; her facial expression was becoming more demented, and Kallen and Todou, who where restraining her all this time, were losing their control over the increasingly irate CC. "Give me pizza!!" She roared, throwing both Kallen and Todou off her in won fell swoop. "She's losing control." Eldritch carefully went closer to CC. reaching for his pocket, he pulled out a small vial, and opened it. The vial housed a strange aroma that seemed to calm her down. "Au de Pizza."Eldritch closed the vial after CC returned to her usual composed state. "Let's start with your friends stating how they feel about the situation." CC, becalmed by the pizza scent, made a request to Eldritch. "I get to pick who goes then." Such a request surprised Eldritch. "Well this is unorthodox. I really think we should..." CC walked closer to Eldritch. Fearing another attack, he slowly backed away. Despite being calmer, CC was still sore with the surprise. "My intervention. My rules. Understand?" CC's eyes were fixed on the trembling psychiatrist, who merely nodded. "Calm down Eldritch, Calm down... they're paying you 1000 an hour; just remember that..." he thought. "You." CC pointed to Suzaku. "Tell everyone I'm not obsessed with pizza." Suzaku carefully stood up. "Am I addicted to pizza?" CC's voice was inquisitorial. "Well, I don't really know..." Suzaku's thought's drifted to the last time he was with CC.

Suzaku had just returned to his room. It was hard living in a fortress, but that's what happens when you're in the military. "Suzaku!" A pink haired woman greeted him inside. "Euphie! What're you doing here?" he asked. "I realized you had a hard day today, so I cooked you a nice dinner! But then it caught fire, so I ordered pizza." Suzaku sighed for relief. Euphie's cooking often resulted in him spending 3 hours in the bathroom in the middle of the night. The 2 waited for hours, but no one came. They called the pizzeria several times, but no one was answering. "I'll go get the pizza for myself Euphie."Suzaku went out of the barracks and jogged to the local pizzeria several kilometers away. When he arrived, he saw the place in ruins. "What happened here." he thought. With the pizzeria destroyed, he had to settle for Chinese take-out. As he walked back to the base, he saw a badly injured man on the road. He rushed to his aid, but instead he pointed to a green haired woman nearby. She was carrying several boxes of pizza, and didn't seem to care that some of them had blood splatters. "I'm still hungry." Suzaku cringed. CC stared at Suzaku, her eyes empty and zombie-like. There were bits of tomato sauce on her face. Suzaku prays it was tomato sauce. "Speak of this to no one, or I'll be the one to out you."

"No, no she's not." Suzaku's voice was filled with fear. For now, his secret is safe.

"Well, okay then." Eldtritch thought is suspicious that Suzaku would deny CC's addiction, given he was the one who thought of the entire intervention. "Who's next?" CC considered who'll be next. After a few minutes of deliberation, she chose Kallen.

"O.K., Ms. Kozuki, please tell us of what you think of CC's addiction." Eldritch asked. Lelouch found it strange that C.C. would choose Kallen. She and the crimson haired woman were never on good terms. Kallen smirked. She relished the chance to tell every vice C.C. has, not only her addiction to pizza. "Finally. A chance to tell everyone everything, the pizza addiction, the multiple arsons, that insurance fraud thing that got Mao in prison..." Before she could start, C.C. whispered something to her ear. "Remember last week, Kallen?"A trickle of sweat fell down Kallen's face as she remembered the events that transpired last week. "Oooh, another flashback..." Eldritch thought

Kallen Kozuki sat atop a beautiful hill, along with Lelouch Lamperouge. She and Lelouch were having a date, and this time she made sure Lelouch wasn't with any other girl. Realizing that it would be mathematically imposible to separate Lelouch from his usual horde of random fangirls, she did the next best thing; eliminate all who aproached. It was pretty easy for her to do that, as out of every girl who's ever adored Lelouch, Kallen was the only one who knew how to kill 25 people in 5 minutes without any weapons. Still, she couldn't attack them while she was with Lelouch, so she called in a favor from a "friend". "It's a beautiful day, isn't it, Lelouch?" She asked the raven-haired man, placing her head on his chest. "It is." He agreed. "I just find it strange that you're the only girl besides Nunally that I've seen all day."Kallen giggled nervously. "Oh, don't be silly, Lelouch!" The lush hill in which she and lelouch were atop of was not as it seems. The entire place was rigged with hidden gun turrets and trap doors, and within the hill was a prison that housed 3 dozen women, and Suzaku. "Let me out! I'm not one of them!" Suzaku roared. The others inside the hill, however, were not amused. "We've all seen your web blog, Suzaku!" Millay haraunged. "g4yw4d h4z b357 l3l0uch p1cturz, d0w." Anya commented while typing on her celphone. Outside the cage they were held, C.C sat down on a stool, with piles of pizza boxes behind her. Opening 1 of the boxes, she looked to see that she had no pizza left. "Hmmmm... Kallen said She'd give pay for more pizza if i caught more of Lelouch's fangirls..." On cue, 3 women were passing by the hill. One of them looked up and noticed Lelouch. C.C. grinned. She picked up her celphone and called the pizzeria. "Hello, I'll have 2 boxes of mozzarella overkill and one box of paella surprise. Yes. The same place. And could you hurry? Their date's almost over." C.C. closed her celphone and returned to the task at hand. "That's it, come closer to the trap..." The green witch pressed several buttons and watched the pitfall in action.

"That prison wasn't intended to house 2304 people..." Kallen thought. " C.C. is a law abiding citizen that has a moderate but not clearly addictive love for pizza, and has never masterminded an insurance scam and blamed in on a chinese albino who thinks he can read minds."Kallen said with a tense and fabricated tone. Eldritch was befuddled. A few days ago they were all complaining on how C.C.'s obsession with pizza was distrupting their lives. As for C.C., she merely smirked as Kallen said everything she whispered to her, word for word. The last part about the insurance scam was overkill though. Eldritch only hoped they wouldn't want their money back.

One by one, everyone in the room attempted to expose C.C. for the ravenous, pizza obsessed monster that she was, only to be halted by a secret only C.C. knew. Whether it was Todou's odor problem, Rolo's pictures of Nunally in her underwear, Viletta's brief stint as a stripper, or Gino's "Superhappy Aardvark time", everyone denied C.C. ever having laid hands on pizza.

Lelouch clearly saw through C.C.'s ploy. He knew that if they didn't made C.C. admit her addiction, they wouldn't be able to send her to rehab, and they would have to spend half their income for pizza for the rest of their days. Still, they could just stop buying pizza, but then C.C. would simply get their bank accounts. She had ways of doing that. "Mr. Lamperouge, care to share to the group on Ms. C.C.'s addiction?" Eldritch asked. Lelouch spent a few minutes thinking of what to do. Finally, he spoke. C.C. wait patiently for what Lelouch would say. She knew that he would surely affirm that her addiction to pizza, so she needed to hear what he would say in order to prepare for her counterattack.

"You're right. C.C. has no addiction." Everyone in the room, save for Eldritch, was surprised. "Mr. Samuels, would it be alright if you send 5 boxes of pizza to the room?" Eldritch was worried. "You're paying, right?" He asked. Lelouch replied by showing his checkbook. "Yes.. I'd like 5 boxes delivered... Yes, all of the toppings... alright, 30 minutes." After half an hour, The delivery man carried 5 boxes of pizza. "Pizza..." C.C. said, enthralled by the scent of 12 cheeses. C.C. stretched her hand, and in zombie-like fashion tried to obtain a slice. Her desire for pizza, however, could not be fulfilled due to a raven-haired man blocking her way. "Move." But Lelouch would not. "If you're not obsessed with pizza, then it would be alright if you didn't have any." Several people in the room were catching on to Lelouch's plan.

"That's right." Kallen lifted a slice out of the box. It was covered in all manner of toppings, from pepperoni to more bizzare ones like mutton or coconut. Kallen took a bite off the slice, making C.C. recoil. Soon enough everyone in the room except C.C. were eating a slice of the italian delicacy. "Hey, Tamaki, have one!" Todou threw a slice of pizza out of the window and onto Tamaki's head. "What was that for!" Tamaki took the slice off his head, bits of tomato sauce and meat still in his hair. "Hey, Pizza!" But before he could consume the slice, the dogs within the pound atacked him. Mr. Puddingtops managed to eat a large amount that was still on his head.

Tamaki recieving pizza was the last straw. "MINE!!" C.C. went berserk. She always thought of herself as being on top of the pedestal, immune to such base emotions. Too bad she wanted pizza more than her place at the pedestal. Her golden eyes went blood red. "Must...feed..." In a flash, she siezed all slices of pizza within reach, even using her mouth at times. Lelouch smirked.There was no way the Green witch could get out of this.

Eldritch, however, was not as amused as Lelouch. Being experienced with cases like this, albeit with more orthodox addictions like drugs or bishounen. He knows that Lelouch had released a pandora's box. "Mr. Lamperouge... we should stop your friend immediately. Feeding her addiction will only..." Lelouch wasn't listening. C.C. snapping was a 1 in a million opportunity, like winning the lottery or a popular anime with no homosexual pairings. He wanted to remember this moment for all time, so he was busy recording everything with a camcorder.

"Um.. Lelouch.." Kallen, her hand swelling from a bitemark, walked up to him, still busy recording C.C.'s tirade. "Yeah, what?" He said, not really listening.

"I think we should stop C.C. now." Lelouch still wasn't listening. "Lelouch, please... C.C.'s starting to bite people..." Lelouch's ears were deaf to Kallen's pleas. C.C.'s rampage still continued. In an attempt to quell her, Todoh attacked her, but C.C. easily dodged his attacks. He was instantly knocked out after a windmill kick to the face.

"Hey, Lelouch..." This time it was Suzaku who went to Lelouch. "We should stop C.C. now... Look what she wrote on my face..." Lelouch was too busy recording C.C. to notice what was on his face. Kallen, however had the time to look a tthe writing. "H-O-M-O. Homo." Kallen didn't see the big deal. "Well, at least she spelled it right.."

"And what is that supposed to mean!" Suzaku asked angrily.

"Never mind. Let's just stop her." Kallen and Suzaku began their assault on C.C. Suzaku started off with a low kick, but C.C. simply jumped out of the way, and countered by throwing sharp pencils at his eyes. Kallen tried going for a sneak attack, but was repulsed with a chair to the head. "This isn't working..." Kallen said, trying to get up after being hit with a chair. "Aren't you going to stop her? She's trashing the place!" She asked Eldritch. "I was, but then I realized my insurance covered berserking patients."

Eventually Lelouch also had enough, mostly because he's out of film. "Okay, that's enough." Lelouch pulled out a small gun and aimed it at her. "Suzaku, Kallen, restrain her." Remembering their wounds from their previous attack, they were both reluctant to strike C.C. "Fine. I'll have Rolo restrain her."

"Rolo was thrown out of the window." Suzaku pointed at the same window Tamaki fell off.

"Todoh?"

"Bludgeoned with a metal club."

"There's only one person now who can stop C.C..." Lelouch revealed his celphone and began to call the only person who could take down a berserking C.C. "Hi." Said a robotic voice. "You have reached V.V.'s home. I am currently at Clovis' having my mullet cut. Please leave a message after the beep."

"Lelouch, what do we do now?" Kallen asked. By now the entire place was in ruins. The only people left standing were Lelouch, Suzaku, and Kallen. Everyone else either ran off like a bunch of cowards, or joined Tamaki and Mr. Puddingtops. "Now." C.C. turned to Lelouch. "I. Want. Pizza." C.C. slowly made her way to them. "Quick Kallen! Shield me with your forehead!" Lelouch went behind Kallen, using her as a shield. "This is the end, guys." Suzaku said. "Any last words?"

"Yes. Lelouch, I wish I had your hair. Suzaku, EVERYONE knows about it. Euphie's just oblivious."

"Okay, my turn." C.C. went closer and closer, like a cat toying with her pray. "Suzaku, if we ever get through this, stop wearing overcoats. Your'e not Seto Kaiba. Kallen, don't be jealous. I wish I had your hair. Also, I was always afraid you'd kill me if I didn't go out with you."

"I love you guys!" Suzaku hugged both Kallen and Lelouch.

As C.C. went closer and closer, Their lives seemed to flash before their eyes. "I never wore that dress before..." Suzaku muttered.

"Hehehe... Bunny suit..." Lelouch drooled.

"Hehehe... Lelouch..." Kallen drooled.

But C.C.'s attack never came. As she was about to pounce, C.C. was shot with a dart gun. "Okay. I draw the line with trying to kill the guy paying." Eldritch reloaded his dartgun. C.C. was on the floor, sleeping like a baby. "The guys from rehab will be here at any moment. You'll receive my bill tomorrow." Eldritch left the decimated room. Seeing that C.C. was incapacitated, the trio felt it safe to stop cowering in a single spot.

"So... Anyone up for trashing C.C.'s place? That was the whole point of this intervention." Lelouch asked.

"Wouldn't C.C. beat us up if we do?" Kallen said, afraid of the green witch's wrath.

"Nah." Lelouch assured. "We'll blame it on Tamaki."

"That works." Lelouch, Kallen and Suzaku left. Eldritch returned inside the room upon Lelouch's exit. "They're all gone." C.C. immediately got up, as if she was never hit a dart. "Are the paintbombs ready?" She asked Eldritch. "Everything is ready, as per your instructions."

C.C. sneered. "Excellent. This'll teach them to mess with me."

"You still have to go to rehab, though." Eldritch told her.

"I've visited Mao before. No wonder he keeps getting crazy, the place is like a spa."

"And my fee?"

'It's been sent to your account."

"Yay. Always a pleasure working with you." Eldritch went outside and got a box of pizza. Both of them took a slice out of it.

"To pizza."

"To money." The two toasted their pizzas like champagne. Taking a bite, they began to laugh maniacally.

Meanwhile, Lelouch, Kallen and Suzaku where trashing C.C.'s home, breaking vases, eating her pizza, flooding her bathroom, eating her pizza... However, for some reason Suzaku stopped."Hey, you hear that?"

Elswhere, several ticking bombs in different areas detonated in unison. One of those places was her own home.

"C.C..." Lelouch muttered, trying to wipe the paint off him.

--

Author's notes

My first fanfic. I was thinking of making one for a long time, but a majority of fics i see are too depressing. Plus, no other anime before code geass has as much crazy folks with various problems, but evangelion and gundam SEED did come close.

-Please comment appropriately. NO swearing and flames.

-If you have sugestions on who should go to therapy, just post them on comments or whatever.

-If you liked, 1337 Anya, then you'll be seeing more of her later.

-in case you're wondering this is an au, but aspects of the original story will appear, albeit normalized

-Last thing; seriously, Suzaku should stop wearing the overcoat. Few anime characters can pull it off, and i think one of them is Seto Kaiba.