Chapter 1: And Then In Hell

One day Clownpiece decided to colonize Hell.

She went over to Hecatia and said, "get out of here noobz i run this joint now"

Hecatia replied, "hah i'd like to see you try betch" and then pointed the middle finger at Clownpiece.

Clownpiece was enraged and screamed, "FITE ME M8 I'LL REKT YOU"

Clownpiece shot out many stars and so stripes that everyone in hell went "wow" and then it really looked like America came to colonize Hell

Hecatia was shocked. "WTF OMG GET YOUR PATRONIZING BULLSHET OUT OF HERE"

AND THEN KANAKO CAME IN AND SAID, "WHO DARES TO SUMMON ME"

AND THEN SUWAKO CAME IN AND SAID, "SHE CALLED ME NOT YOU SNAKE BETCH"

AND THEN KANAKO SAID, "NO ONE EVEN KNOWS YOU BECAUSE I'M CLEARLY THE MORE POPULAR GOD YOU HIKOKOKIMORI BETCH"

AND THEN SUWAKO SAID. "HAH YOU CAN'T EVEN SPELL CORRECTLY BETCH"

AND THEN KANAKO SAID, "YOU GON' DIE BETCH"

AND THEN SO MANY SNAKES CAME OUT AND SLITHERED EVERYWHERE

AND THEN SO MANY FROGS CAME OUT AND HOPPED EVERYWHERE

AND THEN THERE WAS ANOTHER GREAT SUWA WAR

AND THEN THE STARS AND STRIPES WERE STILL SHOOTING

AND THEN HECATIA SAID "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE" BUT IT WASN'T HER HOUSE SO NO ONE CARED

AND THEN MOONS CAME OUT OF NOWHERE AND FLOATED EVERYWHERE AND TRIED TO HIT EVERYONE BUT THEY DIDN'T SINCE HECATIA'S AIMING WAS PATHETIC

AND THEN CLOWNPIECE SAID "YOUR AIMING SUCKS HECATIA"

AND THEN SHE WAS HIT BY AN EXPLODING MOON

AND THEN THE MOONBETCHES CAME OUT OF THE MOON

"WHY ARE WE HERE" YELLOW MOONBETCH SAID

"IDK BUT LET'S REKT EVERYONE" PURPLE MOONBITCH SAID

AND THEN THEY REKT EVERYONE BECAUSE THEY WERE SO UNFAIRLY POWERFUL BECAUSE OF THE GOD THAT MADE THEM

AND THEN JUNKO CAME IN AND SAID "WHERE IS CHANGE YOU PIECES OF SHET"

AND THEN CLOWNPIECE SAID "GO GET CHANGE AT THE DOLLAR STORE"

AND THEN JUNKO SAID "OK" AND THEN SHE LEFT

BUT BEFORE SHE LEFT SHE MADE CLOWNPIECE SUPER UBER POWERFUL AGAIN

AND THEN CLOWNPIECE SAID "IT'S LUNATIC TIME" AND THEN SHE REKT EVERYONE

AND THEN THE YELLOW MOONBETCH SAID "OMG A FAIRY"

AND THEN THE PURPLE MOONBETCH SAID "RETREAT AHHHHHHHHH"

AND THEN THEY ATE BEANS AND FARTED ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE MOON IN SPACE

AND THEN KANAKO'S VINES AND SUWAKO'S IRON RINGS DIED BECAUSE OF THE FART

AND THEN KANAKO SAID "THIS SUCKS I'M GOING HOME"

AND THEN SUWAKO SHOVED TREES UP KANAKO'S UNMENTIONABLES WHICH MADE HER SHET BRICKS

AND THEN THE SHET LANDED INSIDE HELL'S FIRES

AND THEN THE FIRES EXPLODED AND BECAME NUCLEAR SUNS

AND THEN OKUU WAS LIKE "OMG, LIKE, WHO DARES TO SUMMON ME AND STUFF"

AND THEN SUWAKO DROPPED A MOUNTAIN ON HER

AND THEN KANAKO SAID "GET OUT YOU DUMB BETCH NO ONE CALLED FOR YOU"

Okuu was shocked. "How could they…?" She thought. She desperately sifted through her mind for an answer, but came up with none. "Maybe... " She dreaded the thought. "What if they hate me?"

Her eyes welled up with tears. "I-I guess I wasn't good enough for you…" She sniffled, and looked away. "If… If you don't want me anymore, I'll just go…."

AND THEN SUWAKO SAID "GET OUT ALREADY"

AND THEN SHE SHOVED A TREE UP HER UNMENTIONABLES

AND THEN OKUU GOT LAUNCHED AWAY TO JAPAN

AND THEN SHE EXPLODED AND NUKED IT

AND THEN KANAKO SAID "LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID YOU CLUMSY PIECE OF SHET"

AND THEN CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS CAME OVER WITH A LAVA-PROOF BOAT AND SAID "Golly, this looks like a fine place indeed!"

AND THEN HE SAID "I think I'll call this place AMERICA"

AND THEN CLOWNPIECE SHOT HIM WITH A GUN AND SAID "GET REKT M8 I ALREADY COLONIZED THIS PLACE"

AND THEN COLUMBUS DIED

AND THEN ORIN CAME IN AND TOOK HIS BODY

AND THEN HECATIA THREW A MOON ON HER BECAUSE SHE WAS STEALING

AND THEN SATORI CAME IN AND SAID "OH NO MY PET HOW DARE YOU"

AND THEN HECATIA THREW A MOON ON HER BECAUSE SHE WAS ANNOYING

AND THEN KOISHI CAME IN AND SAID "I WONDER WHAT I'LL EAT FOR BREAKFAST TOMORROW"

AND THEN SHE TORE HERSELF IN HALF AND CREATED A GIGANTIC TEAR IN TIME AND SPACE

AND THEN SUMIREKO CAME IN AND SAID "WHERE AM I"

AND THEN HECATIA THREW A MOON ON HER FOR FUN

AND THEN RENKO AND MARIBEL CAME IN AND SAID "OMG SUMIREKO ARE YOU OK"

AND THEN HECATIA THREW MOONS ON THEM FOR GOOD MEASURE

BUT MARIBEL WAS ACTUALLY YUKARI

SO SHE GAPPED IN REIMU

AND THEN REIMU SAID "DAMMIT YUKARI I'M SO PISSED RIGHT NOW I WAS HAVING TEA BUT THEN YOU HAD TO GO AND RUIN IT"

AND THEN SHE SAID "HAX SIGN BURN EVERYTHING"

AND THEN THE WHOLE OF HELL EXPLODED AND EVERYONE DIED

AND THEN SHIKIEKI YUAMXEANDU CAME IN AND SAID "YOU WILL BE JUDGED FOR KILLING EVERYONE HERE AND BEING A STUCK-UP BETCH"

AND THEN SHE MURDERED REIMU WITH HER ROD OF REMORSE

AND THEN SHE TURNED TO THE AUTHOR AND SAID "YOU WILL BE JUDGED FOR SPELLING MY NAME WRONGLY"

AND THEN SHE OH SHET AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(RIP CrazyManiacz 2015 - He lived a completely retarded life)

Moral of the story: Do not spell Eiki Shiki, Yamaxanadu wrongly or you will be murdered. (It's her real name and title!)