Hello my dear readers! This is my first song fic. They are pretty fun and I might do some more.
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or these songs!
BPOV
I was Bella Whitlock. Now, I'm not sure who I am. Jasper was my husband, but now he's just a shell of the man I used to know. He came home from war three months ago. I have consulted doctors, psychologists, and therapists, but none of them can help him. They told me to keep up with a daily routine and to continue to be there for him as his wife, but there comes a time when you just lose hope. I'm at that point now. He just won't come back to me. He's retreated into his mind and nothing I do seem to bring him out. He doesn't sleep, he rarely talks to me.
After five months, I had given up hope. I was sitting on our bed while Jasper was out in the garden. My guitar was leaning against the wall. Music was what brought us together in the first place. We both loved the same kinds of music and met at a concert.
I got up from the bed, picked up my guitar, and sat back down at the foot of the bed. I plucked a couple strings before I started to play a song I had written several days ago. Writing music was all that kept me going when Jasper was away at war and also when he came home. I began to sing softly along with the tune.
When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
I heard the distinct sound of footsteps coming up the stairs and I knew it was Jasper. I closed my eyes and continued to sing.
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Tears were running down my cheeks as I thought of the lyrics. My husband had left a piece of himself on the battlefields that neither he nor I would ever get back. He had seen things that I could never imagine and that he would never forget. I had never felt that my love had been wasted on him and I would continue to love him. But, the worst part was the feeling that it was one-sided. I knew that he loved me, it wasn't that. He just didn't even acknowledge me at all and that was worse.
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
I wasn't sure why he had left the army, but I was infinitely glad to have him back to me at home. But, I would never give up on him, I knew that now. I knew that I could never give up hope on him.
And high up above earth or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
If I never tried to fix him or if I gave up hope on him now, I would never know just how strong we could be. He was worth the hope and he was worth all the love I could give him.
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream, down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face and I...
Tears stream, down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face and I...
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.
I slowly opened my eyes and saw him standing before me. I was nervous of what he would do. Several doctors had told me that war veterans could be violent and unpredictable. I watched him walk over to me. He knelt down before me and used his thumb to wipe the tears off my cheeks. This was the first time he had intentionally touched me since he had gotten back. He slowly stood and sat down next to me. I angled my body so it faced him and took the guitar gently from me. He strummed a couple notes and then began to play. This was the first time he had played since his return. Then, he opened his mouth and began to sing. His voice was the first thing I had fallen in love with.
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with every day
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
When he was finished with the song, more tears were streaming down my face. He reached over and laid his palm against my cheek. I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch and he wiped away the tears using a strand of my hair. He put the guitar down and knelt once again in front of me.
"Isabella, that song before; did you write it for me?" he asked me seriously.
I just nodded.
"Will you try to fix me?"
"Yes," I said.
"I want to be fixed," he said, his voice breaking.
"Jasper Whitlock," I said to him, taking his face gently between my hands. "You are my husband and I love you. I will never give up hope on you and I will fix you."
"I love you, Bella Whitlock."
"I love you too, Jasper," I said and he smiled. I don't know what brought him back to me, but for the first time since he had left for war, I felt like Bella Whitlock, the loved wife of Jasper Whitlock. The road ahead of us was going to be a long, tough one of trying to fix Jasper and bring all of him back to me, but with him by my side, suddenly, it wasn't so daunting.
So, tell me what you think. Should I do another song fic?
BTW, the two songs I used were Fix You by Coldplay and The Reason by Hoobastank