This is meant to be a fun little story that I dearly hope makes you smile. It is also posted on Archive. Enjoy!
Focus Evelyn, the young woman thought to herself, trying not to ogle the Commander before her. It was extremely difficult though, with Cullen pacing his office and allowing the sun to glint of his hair. Oh his hair. She desperately wanted to touch it, especially after accidentally seeing the curls he usually tamed. She was drawn from her admiring trance when Cullen frowned in concern.
"I'm terribly sorry if I'm boring you, Lady Trevelyan." The Commander seemed a bit embarrassed.
"Not at all, Commander." Evelyn reassured hurriedly. "It's good to know that the non-mage soldiers have managed to implement those techniques I taught."
"Yes. Though magic is a wonderful tool, it is good for them to see they too are capable of helping their fellow soldiers." Cullen smiled fondly. "The Inquisitor was clever to suggest bringing more doctors to Skyhold."
The fondness and admiration in his tone was like a cold bucket of water over her, reminding her to stop being so enamored with her cousin's paramour. Evelyn could understand why they were together. Mage and Templar. Ebony and Ivory. Pure femininity and pure masculinity. A perfect set of opposites, wrapped up in pretty packages. That didn't stop her from wishing it was her instead.
When her younger cousin Alex had asked/blackmailed her into joining the Inquisition, she'd been hesitant for countless reasons. First and foremost, the beloved Herald of Andraste and new Inquisitor was Alex's twin sister Lexi. That in itself wouldn't have been bad if not for the horrid way that Evelyn had acted the last time she saw her.
Despite Evelyn being older and better received by the members of the Trevelyan family, hardly had there ever been a time when attention hadn't been focused on Lexi's branch. Her father, the half Starkhaven love child of the late Bann Trevelyan who had rose to Teyrn status in Ostwick and married some Rivaini woman with no noble blood. At great aunt Lucille's parties, the high status couple and their three children always stood out amongst the predominantly pale, brown haired, brown eyed members of the hypocritically religious family.
The sneers and two faced natures had made her humble and sincere family drawn closer to their outcast second cousins. As the youngest of five children and the only girl, she had become strongly attached to young Alex and Lexi. When they weren't gone in the summers or winters to Aunt Amalla's family, her family would frequently take the three hour ride to the Teyrn's castle and spend many happy and freeing times with them. Well, happy to her until Lexi hit about fifteen.
When her young cousin hit fifteen, Evelyn herself had been a bit wispy and uncertain eighteen year old. Lexi, who had been an adorable child, had started her transition into a beautiful young woman. She had been graced with her mother's exotic features and the beginnings of a womanly shape. At first she had only the slightest amount of envy that many of the uncomfortable aspects of aging up had skipped her cousin. But it had soon dissolved into a change in her temperament towards the unknowing girl and a jealousy she remained ashamed of till this day.
It came to a head at their Aunt Lucille's spring ball, when the excitable Orleasian woman had been showing them the clothing and accessories she'd had made for her adoptive daughters. Evelyn had been ecstatic, the affection and encouragement of the older woman always boosting her confidence. Without glancing to see what dress Lexi was being forced into, she had hurried to prepare and felt lovely and feminine in the sapphire design that dipped lower than she would normally wear. The fabric was fine silk, the slippers were soft and her hair was in an elaborate bun to reflect her maturity. Until she saw her young cousin.
Upon return, the complaining fifteen year old had been adorned in a deeply red garment with an intricate embroidery pattern. The dress exposed her smooth shoulders and had a dip which showed her increasingly voluptuous frame. A golden choker accessory and ruby inlaid earrings accompanied the style and the draping waves of ebony hair. Evelyn had glanced at their reflections together in the mirror, and it was like seeing a goose next to a swan. Her jealousy started to rise and even worsened when the servants gushed that Lexi's face was beautiful enough without makeup touching it.
Aunt Lucille hadn't commented on any difference, cooing over them both equally, but when they hit the ball room the difference showed. This was to be the year where the many eligible young men were to admire her, since her older cousin had been married off. But one look at Lexi had them scurrying to her side to ask for a dance, or to her father to question her future availability. She was so swarmed, that she had to physically hide herself behind her brothers. But it didn't end there: Ferdinand, a particularly handsome twenty year old Antivan heir who she was particularly fond of sought out Lexi at every availability. Evelyn had felt humiliated and overlooked, and instead of focusing her rage at the fickle nature of the males she directed it at her cousin.
After having rushed out to the gardens to wallow in self-pity, she found that Lexi had followed her. Evelyn had tried to get her to leave, but she had been so concerned for her. Finally she had snapped, and spoken all manner of horrible things to her. She had immediately regretted it particularly when her young cousin had recoiled from her, murmuring an apology and returning to the ball. Evelyn had felt bad the rest of the evening, but couldn't seem to find Lexi anywhere to apologize. In the morning, they had already left for Amalla's family. She had worried over her words all summer, not knowing how to apologize to Lexi, and not wanting to send an apology in a letter. She was sure her opportunity would come in fall.
Instead, her cousin returned and went to the Circle, while she herself became more engaged in her healing studies. Then when she'd returned from her studies in Ferelden, Lexi had joined the Knight Enchanter Order and was off with her brother and mercenaries, trekking across the Marches in the name of the peace. It was not until they had entered the majestic, rebuilding Skyhold that she saw her cousin again.
"Yes, Lexi has always been clever. I suppose that's why the Inquisition flourishes." Evelyn spoke wistfully, thinking on the vastness of her cousin's followers.
Before her arrival, she'd heard all manner of interesting things that she thought was exaggeration. But in Skyhold, she had treated the soldiers who had seen Lexi escorted from the fade by Andraste, she had taught the loyal soldiers who spoke of her valiance in the Hinterlands, shared meals with the scouts she'd rescued. Then there was her pardoning of the mages, the manner of which she was reborn after closing the Breach.
But when the soldiers told her about Adamant, and Evelyn herself watched her twist an entire country around her fingers she had to agree. Her cousin had entered Halamshiraal with sneers aimed at her, and left with enough allies and admiration to power their foray against Corypheus. Even her inner Circle was a reflection of her charisma. No wonder Cullen was so in love with her.
"Don't let her hear you say that. She's very humble." Cullen chuckled, before gathering some papers on his desk with a sigh. "I hate to cut this short, but I'm meant to deliver these reports to the war room and get back to work. I've monopolized enough of your time."
"I didn't mind at all, Commander. I've enjoyed your company. Why don't I run these reports to the war room and we can have tea together tomorrow." She chimed quickly, flushing at her forward response. She was in dangerous waters, trying to get more alone time with a man who was romantically attached to another.
"I'd like that." He gave a slight smile as she left the room, Evelyn's heart beating quickly.
"Stop it, Evelyn. He's nice to you because you're part of his lover's family. Nothing more." She scolded herself.
With that harsh reminder, she made her way to the war room. She had been in their only a handful of times, but everyone in Skyhold knew where it was. It was intimidating, from the large doors to the large table with pieces the Inquisitor and Advisors wielded. Once, she watched Lexi move a piece to signify the retrieval of a traitor. The person had arrived at Skyhold for judgement a week later. It was terrifying to think of that much power in anyone's hands, and they were fortunate for her cousin's strong moral compass.
As she neared the large doors, she heard noises. She paused, knowing that Cullen was in his office and Josephine was in giving a tour to Nevarran nobles. Perhaps Lexi was coordinating something with Sister Leliana? Maybe planning her next excursion with her companions? With a shrug, she opened the door softly, planning to slip in deliver the reports, and slip out. They immediately fell from her hands at what she saw.
The Iron Bull was naked. And not his normal half-naked, but completely bare and facing away from the door. He was leaning over the table and someone's legs were drawn around his waist, the giant's hands tugging at their thighs. Familiar legs, whose owner was identified by a familiar voice moaning out and a marked hand reaching out to the mercenary.
"That's it, kadan." The horned giant encouraged, hip movements confirming what she already suspected.
Evelyn gasped softly, one hand moving to cover her mouth. Her noise and presence did not seen to register with the deeply intertwined individuals before her if the next drawn out moan and soft grunts were any indication. She hurriedly closed the war room door and scurried away to her room, feeling embarrassment for herself but heartbreak for the sweet Commander.
How could Lexi do this to him? She knew the man was a bit rough around the edges, and he'd informed her of his lyrium headaches and nasty past with the Circle. But that did not give her license to cheat on him. And now Evelyn was torn.
Did she tell the man she had come to adore over the past months?
Or did she retain familial loyalty to Lexi?
Evelyn had experienced as near to love at first sight as possible when Lexi had introduced her to him, feeling hopelessly crushed when the Herald then flirted with him and was reciprocated. It was selfish, but to inform Cullen of the infidelity was to open a window of opportunity for herself.
On the other hand, Lexi was her cousin who she was just now regaining some trust with. She even had invited her to the infamous Wicked Grace games with her Inner Circle. As easy as it would be to judge her for cheating, she didn't know what types of stresses were involved in ruling the Inquisition, or how that mark may be modifying her behavior. It could even be a preset arrangement that Cullen was privy to and was none of her business.
Shamefully, Evelyn hoped there was a potential for the end of the two's romance. Surely the Commander of the Inquisition and the Inquisitor were better for the cause if they weren't distracted by one another. Cullen needed to be able to function without concern for his paramour out fighting dragons and magisters. Lexi shouldn't have concern for his wellbeing jeopardizing her in the field.
"Dangerous thinking, Evelyn." She warned herself.
Taking a few calming breaths, she decided to try and talk to her cousin about her relationship with Cullen. While it may not be her business, she could look out for both of their happiness. Even if it meant further securing the two together. So after a brisk dinner, she went to the cleared tavern to play Wicked Grace. She knocked softly and the door was opened by Hawke.
"Hello." She spoke softly, noting that Lexi hadn't arrived yet. Most of the inner circle was present, excluding only Vivienne, Alex and his men.
"I was wondering when you'd join us, Evelyn." Dorian grinned broadly, offering the seat next to him.
"Yea, we all need to lose money sometimes, Doc." The Iron Bull greeted, and Evelyn fought to keep her face from burning, remembering she saw him naked over her cousin. She sat next to Dorian and politely accepted the wine offered.
"And you've got great timing." Lexi announced from the open door, walking gracefully over to her seat.
She looked immaculate in her skirted blue and gold suit, though she could see a few dark spots on her revealed collarbone. The dragon tooth around her neck did little to hide them. Evelyn pondered briefly how she could still walk, before noticing a brief affectionate touch of hands between her and the Bull as she sat beside him.
"Well, I haven't played Wicked Grace in a while. So I apologize in advance if I take too long." She forewarned.
"Don't worry. Once we get drunker, we all slow down." Hawke grinned, shuffling the pristine cards.
At first it was a bit awkward for her, the close knit group speaking of the oddities and such encountered on their excursions. Then Lexi noticed her shifting and began talking about the wierdo around Skyhold who kept popping up and asking trivia questions. It helped her relax and soon enough, she was laughing with the rest.
As the night waned on, Lexi and Bull drifted closer and closer, until eventually the Herald was resting comfortably in his lap after a series of bad hands. The horned male seemed familiar with the position, simply shifting one arm to curl around her and rest on her hip. Evelyn bit her lip at the lack of concern from the others. How commonplace were their actions out on the expeditions?
"Give it up, Tiny. This hand is mine." Varric smirked, finishing off his beer. The odd boy Cole looked between the adversaries and opened his mouth to reveal something, but Solas redirected him to the food they'd all tried to get him to eat. He frowned at it, but ate one of the potato wedges to please them.
"You're an excellent liar, Master Tethras. But we know that's crap." Lexi smiled sweetly at her friend.
"Damn right, kadan." The Qunari smirked, revealing his hand of four knights and the angel of death.
"Well, shit. Guess I'm paying the Chargers tab this time." The dwarf chuckled before collecting his cards and addressing the room. "One more?"
"Why not? Sleeping late would benefit us all." Dorian acquiesced.
"I wish I could, but I have patients in the morning." Evelyn sighed regretfully. Despite her mind's occupation with addressing her cousin's infidelity, she would admit to having enjoyed her time with the group.
"Are you sure we can't convince you? It's usually the last game where the bets gets even more ridiculous." Lexi tempted.
"I still got Beardy's smalls." Sera grinned maniacally at the Grey Warden, who sighed in exasperation.
"Well, I…" She tittered nervously. She did still want to talk to her cousin. Perhaps she-
"She almost says the word sometimes. Katoh." Cole spoke loudly, all eyes drawing to him. "She tastes it in her mouth, sweet release a breath away, tongue tying it tenderly like you tie her. But she doesn't. For you, and for her because it makes it mean more. A fuller feeling, a brighter burst."
Evelyn was confused for only moments as Cassandra gave a noise of disgust though Blackwall and Solas gave soft chuckles. Trollish grins crossed Sera, Hawke, Dorian, and Varric's faces as they all stared at the Bull and Lexi. Her cousin's smile seemed frozen, and the Qunari seemed concerned on her behalf. The doctor's face burned as she realized whose brain the spirit boy had dipped into.
"Yeah." He coughed awkwardly. "How's she feel about you saying this in front of everybody?"
Their eyes all drifted to their savior. Displaying remarkable composure, she unfroze herself and took a simple sip from her goblet.
"Bull and I are consenting adults, there's nothing wrong with what we choose to do in bed." She responded with an enviable amount of poise.
"The war table is not a bed!" Evelyn blurted without thinking. She flushed completely when her cousin turned shocked eyes to her. Dorian burst into untamable laughter with Varric and Hawke and poor Cassandra's face could rival a tomato.
"Pfft! Hope you took her right up the Dales!" Sera cheered.
"I look forward to informing Cullen." Blackwall smirked into his tankard.
"Evie, how did you know about the war table?" Lexi asked, voice highly pitched.
"I went to deliver reports and well…" The doctor blushed, the scene yet again rising to the forefront of her mind. She really wished it would stop.
"Well then." Lexi gave a dark chuckle, tossing back the rest of her wine. "A rift can feel free to swallow me whole any moment."
"Provided it tied you down first, one assumes." Solas added coolly, even he unable to resist the urge to tease. The Inquisitor gave him a pained look as that brought a small snicker even from Cassandra.
"Even you, Solas?" She sighed, head in her hands.
"Alright. You've had your fun. Leave the Boss alone." Bull grunted at them.
"Fine, Tiny. But I had a good one you know." Varric smiled, shuffling the cards.
The conversation turned back to simpler topics, though Evelyn's mind recoiled at how accepting they were to the infidelity on her cousin's part. She left the group, but instead of turning to her own quarters, she went to the top of the towers, wanting to try to talk to her cousin before she went to bed. She waited anxiously on the settee and stood when she heard the door open. Of course, Bull was with her because why wouldn't he be?
"Evie? I thought you went to bed?" Her cousin sounded tired, but this conversation needed to happen.
"Why are you cheating on Cullen?" There. Quick and exposed.
"Huh?" The tired woman turned her head in confusion.
"You heard me." She scowled.
"No, I'm confused as to how I could cheat on Cullen. I mean sure he'd be appalled if he found out about the war table, but he'd get over it eventually. Our friendship has survived after he caught us naked before." Lexi yawned, pulling down her hair to braid while Bull began removing his harness.
"Friendship?" Evie blinked, before hope like sunshine spread through her. "Right. Well good night." She smiled brightly at the tired and confused couple while nearly skipping out of the room.
The next evening she was happily kissing the Commander on the battlements. When they broke apart she sighed happily.
"I'm really glad that I caught Lexi and Bull on the war table now."
"You what?!"
The End…
But then…
Lexi was starting to get really annoyed with Cullen. He'd been glaring at her across the table for over an hour. Leliana and Josephine had observed him curiously, wondering what his upset was about.
"Alright Cullen. What's this about?" She huffed, hands on her hips.
"Someone told me something interesting an hour ago, Inquisitor. A story about something taking place in this room yesterday. With you and the Bull." His glare intensified.
"I'm going to kill her." Lexi growled. Leliana's eyes glowed mischievously as she quickly figured it out. Josephine began to scribble away furiously on her board, refusing to acknowledge the situation.
"Why? I have to touch this table." The Commander grimaced.
"If it makes you feel any better, we were only naked on Ferelden. The business happened on Orlais."
"….THAT DOESN'T HELP!"
Hope you got a little grin! Feel free to leave a review.