Ed Tucker paced nervously around the living room of Olivia Benson's apartment. Of all the crazy outcomes he had come up with in his head about his relationship with Liv, this never even came close to a thought. He just kept replaying the last 2 weeks in his head, trying to figure out what he could have done differently to keep her out of this. But it was too late now. The damage, whatever it is, has been done.

Earlier in the evening

It took some convincing, but she finally gave in to his request to go relieve Lucy while she went to her urgent meeting at 1PP. He could already see her trying to put those damn Benson walls back up, and he was determined not to be on the outside again.

Noah, as usual, was excited to see him walk through the door. "Tuck tuck" he happily exclaimed as he toddled towards him. Ed tossed him a bit, then kissed his head.

"Mama?" Noah asked, trying to locate his mother, who usually came in right behind his new friend.

"She's still at work bud, but what do you say we hang out for a bit?" Ed asked the 2 year old, understanding his disappointment that Olivia was not in tow.

"Pan? Cookies?" Noah looked at Ed with hopeful eyes. Ed was still a relatively new figure in Noah's life, but he already had him wrapped. Whenever Ed was in charge, they either went to run in the park or they watched Peter Pan with a box of Vanilla Wafers between them.

"Absolutely, bud."

Noah had fallen asleep about halfway through the movie, but Ed let the movie finish before moving the tot to his little bed. There was something soothing about having a 2 year old asleep on your lap. And Ed Tucker needed that at the moment.

Present

Two hours later, and all of his calmness had left as he wore out the same path between the couch and the back hallway, waiting for his girlfriend to get home. Finally he heard the lock jiggle, and the door open. As soon as he met her eyes, he knew it was bad. The brown specs that usually glow when she looks at him weren't there and her eyes had a red tint to them, like she had been fighting tears for a while. Olivia dropped her keys and bag by the entryway table, and sighed, shifting her gaze from his eyes down to her feet.

"Thanks for staying with Noah." There was no emotion in her voice. It was strained and almost monotone.

"Liv…"

"Don't. I'm fine. I don't want to talk about it right now." Olivia pushed by Ed, making a beeline for her wine rack. She expertly opened a fresh bottle of red and reached for a stemless glass that was drying on the counter.

"You can head out. I won't be getting called in." Her voice almost cracked at the end of her statement. But she focused on swirling the wine around in her glass. Closing her eyes, Olivia took a large sip, sighing as it went down easily.

"Liv, I'm sorry." Ed was devastated. Here stood this amazing woman who had been through so much, let him in to her life so much, and now because of him she was hurting. Again.

"Don't. Just….don't." Olivia downed the rest of her wine and refilled. "It isn't your fault. Just a shitty outcome to a shitty situation. But right now, I want to be alone."

"Olivia…"

"Ed, I can't do this right now…please…" Her voice finally cracked at the end, and Ed could see a lone tear streak down her cheek.

He rounded the kitchen island and approached her slowly, removing the glass from her hand.

"You are not on your own anymore. You don't have to be strong around me. Let me help you." Ed spoke softly to her, while keeping eye contact. She finally lost control of her emotions, and let out a heart wrenching sob and tears fell like a waterfall down her cheeks. It was the most devastating sound Ed had ever heard. He immediately pulled her into his chest, one hand gripping her hair and the other circling around her waist.

"Its okay, babe. It's going to be okay. I'll fix this. Whatever it is, I'll fix it." With a sobbing Olivia Benson in his arms, he was at a loss of what his next step would be. But he vowed to himself to make this right for her. Even if it meant sacrificing his own job, though he'd never voice that her at this point.

They stayed like that for a little bit, until Olivia could compose herself slightly. She pulled back, and wiped her face with her shirt sleeve. Ed brushed her arm away, and finished drying her tears with his fingertips.

"You don't have to talk to me about it, but please let me stay with you tonight" he pleaded with her.

"Stay" she whispered to him. And he knew that was all he was getting at that point.

"Go on, check on Noah and change. I'll clean up in here and be right in."

Ed watched her move towards Noah's room, and even then he could see defeat in her walk. Damn 1PP for doing this to her, he thought as he scrubbed at the stemless glass a bit harder than necessary. He took a few more minutes to just gather his thoughts and push his anger down. He had to focus on Olivia tonight. His turn in the hot-seat would come, but right now his girlfriend was being torn apart because of his rogue family member…and he had to fix it.

He cut all the lights down, switched on the nightlight in the hallway in case Noah was up in the night, and headed to the bedroom. Olivia was still in the bathroom and he could hear the water running, so he took the opportunity to strip down to his boxers, straighten up the room, turn the lights down, and crawl in to bed so he was waiting when she finished.

It was about 20 minutes before she reappeared, looking even more exhausted than earlier. Ed gazed at her as she slowly moved around the bedroom, putting away her clothes from the day. Olivia Benson was gorgeous. Ed always knew she was gorgeous, but at night when he got to see her in her most natural state, that is when he thought she was the most beautiful. She finally made her way towards him in the bed, clad in one of his oversized grey t-shirts. Ed lifted the covers up and she slipped in, immediately curling her body into his and hiding her head in the cruz of her shoulder.

Ed gripped her tightly, kissing her temple and rubbing the full length of her back with his hand. Offering as much non-verbal security and reassurance as he could. But despite his comfort, he could still feel her shaky breaths against his body and he could sense the devastation radiating off of her.

"I'm here Liv. You are not going to navigate this alone. I'm not leaving - just tell me what you need." Ed whispered softly to her as she tried to calm herself next to him.

"I need you." She finally lifted her head to look at him, and he saw her pleading eyes, begging him to take the pain away. So Ed did the only thing he could. He rolled onto his side, pulled Olivia tightly against his body, and began to kiss her. Slowly but deeply, trying to convey every ounce of his affection and protection to her. Even though he had never voiced it, Ed Tucker loved Olivia Benson. And it was growing with every second he spent with her. So whatever she needed or asked of him, he was going to do it.

Olivia wrapped her leg around Ed's body, trying to pull him closer. Tucker got the point, and began to move his body against hers, creating a delicious friction as his lips began a trail down her neck. He gently rolled her onto her back, and settled between her legs taking that moment to gaze at her. Olivia was staring into his eyes, conveying her need to him as best she could.

"Olivia, are you sure you are up for this?" Tucker wanted to make sure she wanted this. He always checked in with her periodically during their foreplay. He knew her history, and he understood the amount of work and trust it took her to be like this with him. And he would never, as long as he lived, take that for granted.

"I need you" Olivia choked out. "Please. I need you to make me forget. I just want to feel something else. I want to feel you."

"Your wish is my command, babe."