Of Pearls And Stars: Arvakr
Chapter 1
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"Dance with me." I demanded when we arrived in my home in Falkreath, turning my attention to the dark haired male that seemed so much more handsome than normal. He cracked a genuine smile, shaking his head; giving me butterflies when his piercing green eyes met mine again.
"You need sleep, Princess."
"Oh, please, Arvakr!" I whined, but felt my heart pound as he took my hands in his and pulled me to him with some laughter. My blood felt so unbearably hot under my skin as we twirled around my entry hall; laughing as he fought to keep me balanced in my drunken stupor.
I couldn't stop the thought that crossed my mind as he held me close, our eyes never breaking contact.
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I could love a man like this.
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Arvakr was not a cook, I had realized very quickly as we stood in my kitchen – me leaning against the wall while he slaved over the pot. I couldn't help but laugh as his creation quite literally exploded in the pot, leaning over; gripping my sides weakly. He turned with specks of it all over his face and I laughed harder, barely managing to remain standing as I stumbled over to him.
I grabbed a rag, wiping away his mess with giggles still apparent, trying to pretend I didn't see the way his face was flushed pink.
"I'll take it from here." I giggled, watching his eyes flash mischievously through long lashes. Which, had I been more aware, I would have known that was never a good sign when it came to my dark-haired friend, but I was too absorbed in my laughter to connect the dots before he had gripped my sides and began tickling me.
I squawked in a very unladylike way; slapping at his hands weakly as I attempted escape – only to accidentally back myself into the wall, where he paused to smirk down at me.
"No, Princess, I said I would make you dinner and I meant it." He informed me smugly as I fought to tame my giggles, now bright pink as he turned away from me and began cooking again. Not for the first time the thought crossed my mind; I smiled.
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I could love a man like him.
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We were running through the beaten path towards Sky Haven Temple, laughing as we tried our damnedest not to get soaked to the bone. I stumbled, and he caught me easily, snickering at my misfortune as I fell into him. We made eye contact, water seeping into every inch of our clothes, but doing nothing to cool the heat in my chest as he grinned down at me.
My gaze moved along his features – taking in his high cheek bones, and his thin lips that were currently slightly parted as he caught his breath. I cursed silently that such a beautiful creature had come to know me as I drank him up like a woman dying of thirst. As we stood still in the freezing rain – me pressed to his chest and gazing into bright, playful green eyes – a single thought crossed my mind.
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I could love him.
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Since returning from Sovngarde, Arvakr had been asleep; I was concerned for his wellbeing. He had literally dragged Alduin up the mountain and then came to this room and collapsed – and had yet to wake.
Arngeir had said it was exhaustion; a good sleep would have him right as rain, and yet here I was, unrested, filthy, and fighting tears on the third day of his endless sleep. No amount of fighting or disagreement could have numbed me to seeing him motionless in this bed. I hadn't slept since we arrived, choosing instead to hover despite Arngeirs protests.
My face was buried in my hands, and I almost missed the way his eyelashes suddenly fluttered; a low groan alerting me to his awakening. Green met pink and the tears I had managed to contain began running down my face.
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I love him.
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"I feel like I lost a fight with a giant." Arvakr admitted later that day; I couldn't help but giggle. He was back to himself, it seemed, and it relaxed me substantially. He was alive and well and it was all going to be okay now.
"Aye, I thought you might. You almost died – twice – then marched yourself all the way to the top of High Hrothgar with Alduin on your back." I tried not to let my smile falter as he frowned, shaking his head.
"I should probably get back to Sky Haven Temple sooner rather than later." He admitted, and I felt myself bristle at the idea.
"Why?" I heard the petulant tone as I spoke and tried to reign it in, not meeting his gaze. "It's over. You don't have to be their Dragonborn anymore."
"Are you going to leave the monastery?" Arvakr responded, and I knew he wasn't going to expect my response, from the snarky tone he was using.
"Yes. I want to go home and fall back off the radar." I admitted, brushing my dirtied hair from my face and looking up at him. "I can't change who I am, but I think we've done more than enough." I said simply, watching as a curious look crossed his features.
"Really? Just like that?" For some reason he seemed surprised.
"Just like that. I'm too tired to deal with this bullshit anymore, Arvakr." His eyes widened slightly at my language and I stood, knowing I needed to get away from him before I got too emotional. He always seemed to elicit that kind of reaction from me, for some reason.
"I watched you almost die – twice – and took down the World-Eater himself; if the world can't right itself by this point it doesn't deserve to be righted." Jaded. Why did I sound so jaded?
"Why did that come first?" He asked before I could fully leave the room and I paused, glancing back at him over my shoulder, confused.
"You talked about almost losing me twice," He explained at my expression, and I saw the way his lips twitched as if he was fighting a grin. "Why did that come first?" I flushed, turning away from him with stiff shoulders. That was a good question, wasn't it? You would think I would have been more worried about the world nearly ending – us almost failing – but no, Arvakr was at the forefront of my mind.
"Because you were right, I suppose." I walked out feeling a heavy weight on my heart. I just wanted everything to go back to the way it was before – when things were simpler. Well, as simple as things could be between an assassin and a mage. Preferably something akin to what we had before – happy, playful, and carefree, most of all. I just wanted to be able to pretend this whole event had never happened, and that everything in it was just some figment of my imagination.
I was so grateful to finally bathe after that. Arvakr had been convinced to stick around for a while by my words (and most probably Arngeir saying something), to finish completely healing as we tried to figure out what the best course of action for Alduin would be. I sunk into the water, feeling refreshed to finally be cleaned for the blood and grime from our misadventures; once I was smelling better, I managed to drag myself to the kitchen, where I ate my fill of whatever was immediately within reach of me. Now that I knew Arvakr was safe and sound, it was hard for me to contain my appetite and desperate need for rest.
I was just so exhausted. The world had been ripping every direction with me and I wanted to be done with being the savior of the world. I had thought in my naivety, that I wanted an adventure. Some grand scheme for me to be a part of that would make me feel alive and excited for my fate – and now that I had it all I wanted to do was lie down and sleep it off. I hated being a hero, it was so much work.
"Hence why I chose a life of villainy," Arvakr announced, sitting across from me with one of his familiar grins that I loved so much. "Lower expectations." I snickered despite my best efforts, shaking my head at him and taking another bite of my apple.
"Is it that obvious what I was thinking?" I asked ruefully, watching that familiar amused twinkle cross his eyes.
"I can hear it – since Sovngarde, actually." My heart stopped for a moment and I wondered what kinds of things I had been considering since he woke up. His eyes were knowing and smug and I just knew he had heard something I didn't want him to. Of course he had. He always seemed to know things I just really wish he didn't, even before he could hear my thoughts.
"Well, that's… awkward." I coughed.