I laid in my bed, thinking about Adam. Or Ryder, whatever he went by now. When I first saw him, in that coffee shop, my heart almost stopped. Did he recognize me? I thought. Obviously, he didn't. But I recognized him. I remembered when I lived with Millie Rose, a friend of Eliza's from Ohio. I had to leave the Danver's because the bullying got so bad and Alex wasn't getting any closer to accepting me. So I changed my name for the second time, first to Kara Danvers, and now to Marley Rose.
When I first met Ryder, I have to admit, I liked him. The way his face looked when he smiled, how it felt when they sang together. But I also liked Jake. So I had to choose, and I chose the latter. At the time, though, I never realized my feelings for Ryder were so much more than my feelings for Jake. But I had already lost him, and had to accept the fact that I was with Jake now. So that's the way it stayed for the rest of high school, and when I graduated, I used it as an excuse to break up with Jake and get away from my old life. I took out the brown hair coloring and put my glasses back on. Kara Danvers was back, and Marley Rose forgotten.
So when I found Ryder again, I realized I wasn't the only one living a double life. Adam had probably left his dad in search of a real family, and changed his name like I did mine. I never told him this, because I didn't want to out myself as Marley Rose, the girl who chose Jake over him. I needed a fresh start, and this was just it.
I was finally able to really date and get to know Adam. Not surprisingly, he left out everything about his high school life. I did too. But just when I thought I was getting a second chance with Ryder, everything went wrong. By staying with him, I put him in danger. And I couldn't do that to my first love. So it didn't just hurt when I said goodbye for the second time. It crushed me.
I rolled over so my face was buried in my pillow. I let out a loud sob, letting my tears soak the pillow case. Why couldn't I just be a normal girl? Why? I hoped that someday, Adam would meet someone that made him feel the same way I felt about him. But I knew, even if I ran away from this life too, I would never find someone that would make me feel the same way.
A/N 7/3/16 Just fixing some mistakes