Kakashi's Squad: The Team of Drug Addicts

By: Crack God

Chapter One (Chapter 1)

Sakura patiently waited for her sensei, and her other teammates for that matter, to show up at the bridge that was her squad's meeting place every morning. Annoyed, she started to tap her foot with slight anger. But not before long, she was pounding the bridge with intense fury, causing part of the bridge to sag down just inches above the water.

After twenty minutes, Naruto and Sasuke showed up, both of them extremely loopy. "Sasuke!" Sakura exclaimed. "What took you so long?"

"Hn," Sasuke mumbled.

"MEOW!" Naruto exclaimed.

"What happened to you guys?" Sakura asked in a worried tone. "It looks like Kakashi put you on some of his stuff. I mean, just like at his eye. It ALWAYS looks high."

"No," Sasuke said. "Naruto just had some chocolate flavored ramen, twenty-two bowls to be exact. He also managed to force me into eating six or seven bowls."

"Mudder Butter Skittles!" Naruto yelled like the retard he is. "I'll become Hokage and Skittles will be my super ninja assistant!"

"That would probably do it," Sakura commented. "Now the only one who is missing is Kakashi sensei. Don't you guys wonder why he is always late?"

"Not really," Sasuke stated. "I already know."

"Then why?" Sakura asked.

"Well… he's always on a bunch of drugs, to be perfectly honest," Sasuke answered. "The other day when I went into his house he was surrounded by about a million joints. He offered me some, but I had to turn him down."

"That figures," Sakura replied. "We should go over to his house and steal all of his drugs. Then he'll never be late again."

"Sorry I'm late, guys," a high looking Kakashi (he always looks high, as you should already know) sensei. "I'm afraid I got lost on the road of life."

"More like the hazy path of crack!" Sasuke shouted.

"Geez, Sasuke, I asked if you wanted some the other day and you just refused," Kakashi said. "Anyway, today your mission will be to go into the local crack center and come out with some for a certain someone."

"Why can't you just get your crack yourself, Kakashi sensei?" Sakura asked rudely.

"It's not my fault if the owner banned me from the store for trying to smuggle some of his crack out!" Kakashi protested.

"What's in it for us?" Naruto questioned, regaining his lost sanity.

"I'll give you all the drugs you want," Kakashi answered.

"What are drugs?" Naruto stupidly asked.

"You're such a loser," Sasuke spoke. "Drugs are what our high sensei is on, you retard; marijuana, crack, cocaine and so forth."

"But what do drugs do?" Naruto whined.

"How about I give you some so you can experience their magical effects yourself," Kakashi offered. "All you have to do is go into the crack center and bring me back some and we'll split the drugs fifty percent to fifty percent."

"Okay!" Naruto enthusiastically hollered. He started to run off to go get the ever so precious drugs, but then he came running back. "Where is the crack center, Kakashi sensei?"

"Just go left on South Avenue, then go onto Green Drain Street. From there go to Speed, and from Speed go to Drugy Ramen. From Drugy Ramen go to Mary Jane, then go to Marijuana. Go back to South Avenue, then to Speed and lastly arrive at Mary Jane again. A mile north on Mary Jane is the crack center," Kakashi said patiently.

"Left on South Avenue, then go onto Green Drain Street. From there go to Speed, and from Speed go to Drugy Ramen. From Drugy Ramen go to Mary Jane, then go to Marijuana. Go back to South Avenue, then to Speed and lastly arrive at Mary Jane again. A mile north on Mary Jane is the crack center," Naruto repeated, confirming the directions with his sensei. "Got it!"

Then the blonde ninja ran off to the crack center.

"Why do you need MORE crack?" Sasuke questioned. "I thought you had an unlimited supply."

"Yes, and I got that unlimited supply in which you speak of from the great crack center," Kakashi replied.

"But why do you want us to be on your filthy drugs when that means less drugs for you?" Sakura asked.

But Kakashi sensei didn't here his female student ask her question, for he got out some lovely crack, lit it with his lighter, and inhaled every precious fume that came to him.

"Ahhhhhh!" Kakashi spoke. "I love you, crack! But I can't forget Mary Jane, no I can't. I love you, I love all of my wonderfully magical drugs!"

"Umm, Kakashi," Sasuke said. "You do know that Naruto will probably just smoke all of your crack before he even gets back, don't you?"

"Hoppy, Hopper, Copper!" Kakashi exclaimed. "I love my lovable hoppy, hopper, drugy drugs!"

"I think we lost him," Sakura stated. "We better leave before any one of us does something we'll strongly regret."

"Hn," Sasuke 'agreed'.

Then Sasuke and Sakura left Kakashi all alone on the sagging bridge to fend for himself, not even bothering to look back when they heard a large splash that could have been suicidal for their sensei.

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That's the end of chapter one. I hope you liked it and I apologize for it being short.

To prevent some future confusion, Sakura is fifteen, Sasuke is fifteen, and Naruto is fifteen, so to say it more simply all three of them are fifteen. If you haven't read Perverts, Freaks and Lovers you should read and review it. It's my other fanfic story that I am writing, and it's mostly humor with some romance that will be extended in the future. I also wrote Psycho at the Table and Kill That Psycho, so read and review those as well please! Anyway, thanks for reading this fanfic and please review!