(Just to clarify they have not met yet and they work at different hospitals but House has had his infarction.)

Wilson is 31 years old and Italic

House is 41 years old and Bold

Thursday 5/11/2018

11:21 What are the rarest causes of bone infarctions?

11:24 Shouldn't you be looking at the most common causes first?

11:26 Been there, done that. No common health disorders. Now rarest causes?

11:31 Who is this?

11:34 God

11:36 So why are you texting me God?

11:37 Isn't it obvious?

11:39 Well apparently, but I would've thought you'd know what was wrong with someone.

11:42 Ah I've been foiled. Now come on, you're a doctor, causes, go, hurry.

11:46 What? Seriously who is this? How do you know I'm a doctor?

11:50 Haven't we already been over this? I'm omniscient. You're not helping.

11:53 Julie? You're not trying to get back at me for something are you?

11:59 No I am not your girlfriend. I do not know you, I just texted a random number because my lackeys are idiots so you couldn't possibly be any worse. And I know you're a doctor because the first thing you did was try to answer my question, you could have just been someone with vague medical knowledge but you weren't at all phased by the randomness of the question until you realised I wasn't someone you knew. Therefore you are used to dealing with sudden, important questions of this nature on a regular basis so you are either a doctor or a teacher.

12:00 I went with doctor.

12:02 If you weren't such an ass I might have actually found that impressive. It was still creepy.

12:03 A man's life hangs in the balance.

12:06 I'm an oncologist, that's not my speciality.

12:08 !

12:11 Fine, er hepatitis, rheumatoid arthritis, thrombophilia or antiphospholipid syndrome

12:12 Already done a blood test, not hepatitis and no signs of any of the others. Come on, think of something more exciting!

12:14 I don't believe your patient (I really hope you do actually have a degree and aren't the crazy guy who walks round hospitals muttering to himself) would agree that this is exciting.

12:15 Well I don't walk round them and that is not my problem

12:15 You really are nice aren't you

12:16 That's what all my hookers say

12:18 I didn't need to know that

12:18 You asked for it. Give me more ideas, something really out there.

12:19 From the sounds of it you're the one who's really out there.

12:22 I resemble that remark

12:22 And just because they aren't showing signs doesn't mean they don't have the condition

12:24 You're right! I knew there was a reason people called me God. Well mostly I call myself that but its the same thing really.

12:25 What?

12:31 Hello? 'God' are you there?

James Wilson shook his head before leaning over and banging it repeatedly on his desk. He had to admit that last sentence looked a little weird.

He couldn't help himself though, whoever this guy was he piqued James' curiosity. Not only did he call himself god but if he'd actually discovered a rare underlying medical condition for a bone infarction that fast then maybe he had reason to.

And he was starting to sound crazy again. Great.

12:40 You seem like the kind of guy who likes to boast so I'll just wait for you to come back

Friday 5/12/2018

7:43 Okay come on you can't just leave it at that.

7:45 Was it a genuine medical mystery?

10:30 Would have been if it weren't for me!

10:36 He's being discharged by the end of the week.

10:49 So the bone infarction was because of...

10:53 Gaucher disease, type 3.

10:56 Are you joking? And a bone infarction was his only symptom? Gaucher rarely results in problems like that. And how old was this guy? It usually presents in adolescence at the latest.

10:59 Family history of it, but he didn't understand it so he never told us. The idiot also had myoclonic epilepsy which he also didn't think to tell us.

11:16 Huh

11:18 Everybody lies, especially patients.

11:21 Wow you really do have an awful outlook on life

11:22 Since I was the man just proven correct, I'll take that.

11:24 Okay I get it, you're omniscient I should bow down before your miserable greatness

11:25 Finally you get it

11:27 What are you then, an epidemiologist?

11:29 Double speciality in nephrology and epidemiology, I work as a diagnostician

11:31 Makes sense.

11:31 And as you already know I'm an oncologist

11:33 What are we doing swapping life stories?

11:36 Well I was trying to show some semblance of common human decency but since that clearly doesn't agree with you just call me James.

11:38 That takes all the fun out of it

11:39 Out of what?

11:41 It might have given me something interesting to do for a whole five minutes if you'd let me try to guess your name.

11:41 Make that two, it's not really an unusual name.

11:42 Oh I'm sorry that my normal name offends you. Yours is clearly something hip and modern.

11:44 Wait does that mean you could actually get my last name if you tried?

11:45 Probably

11:47 Oh crap

11:48 Don't worry, I've got no need to stalk you in person if I can just bug you over the phone

11:50 What I relief, I can't imagine why I was so concerned for my safety

11:53 Heh

11:53 Since you still don't seem to care about manners, what should I call you? And unlike you I probably won't be able to guess your entire life history from whatever name you decide to give me.

11:55 However it would be relatively easy to look me up

11:56 How about you promise not to 'deduce' me and I won't google you, deal?

11:58 Greg

12:00 I will take that as a yes. And hold on, your name is equally boring!

12:03 Petty

12:03 I like that

12:06 Good for you. Now I have to go because, unlike some people who seem to have far too much time, I actually work.

12:07 Bye bye dull Jim

12:10 Goodbye, you miserable bastard