Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, but I should.

This is my first fic, so be brutally honest. When you're done reading, hit that review button. to quote my namesake, "Time…line? Time is not made out of lines, time is made out of circles, that is why clocks are round." And yes, I know that has nothing to do with what I was just talking about.

This is going to be an interesting week, Ichigo thought as he rose from his seat and began sorting through the overhead bin to find his friends' carry-ons. He was mainly grateful he could stand up and walk around now that the plane had stopped. Ichigo hated long flights, and the ones that took him from Japan to the Gulf coast of Mexico were probably his least favorite of all. Recently Chad had been invited to see his relatives, and had asked Ichigo and the gang if they wanted to come along. Of course Urahara and Yoruichi wanted to tag along, and watching with interest the plans of his favorite shinigami representative, Yamamoto decided to give all the captains and lieutenants a vacation too, at the same hotel everyone else was staying at.

"Hey Chad…" he began, staring up at his larger friend.

"Yes?"

"I was wondering, how are we gonna get around on our own if nobody else speaks Japanese?"

"¿No recuerdas? Yo hablo español."

"No me olvidé, mi amigo." Both Ichigo and Chad turned their heads to see who had said this, and were surprised to find it was Uryuu Ishida.

"Ishida, you know Mexican?" Ichigo gaped.

"For the record, it's Spanish. Oh, and Kurosaki…"

"What is it?"

"It would scare you what I know."

Checking in was a breeze. Ichigo was more than happy to get into his room. The hotel was large and spacious, and was right next to a beautiful beach. All of this courtesy of Uryuu Ishida, it really is nice to have rich friends. He lay there silently, thinking about how interesting this trip would be. He had no idea how right he was.

Soifon strolled briskly down the hall. Although the gigai was comfortable, she couldn't help but feel restricted. Quickly she knocked on the door, and almost as quickly the door opened. Mayuri Kurotsuchi's gigai looked nothing like what everyone in Soul Society was accustomed to; it was tall and muscular in appearance with light blue hair arranged in a fashion similar to that of Ichimaru's. Not even Soifon could avoid snickering when she thought about the contrast between this and the head of R&D's true form.

"Ahhhhhh, Soifon-taichou, what a pleasant surprise. Tell me, what is it that you want?"

"May I…phhhhhhhhh…please speak to Nemu, Womens' Society matters and all."

"Alright, just one second. Nemu! Get over here right now you little slut! Someone wants to talk to you!" Nemu promptly appeared and bowed to Soifon.

"Kurotsuchi-fukutaichou, take a walk with me."

"As you wish, Soifon-sama."

"Now gossiping is pretty common over at the women's society, and rumor is that during Ichigo Kurosaki's not so brilliant attempt to save Rukia Kuchiki, you developed a bit of a crush on a certain ryoka." At this Nemu blushed, well, it was more like her face turned red and she broke out in a cold sweat.

"I am also aware," continued the captain, "that you developed, in secret, a way to obtain that ryoka's affection, and you have several batches on you right now."

"What do you want from me, taichou?" It was obvious the girl was very nervous.

"Three batches. And in return I won't speak of this to anyone."

"Done," with that she handed three small vials of clear liquid to Soifon.

"They are completely colorless and tasteless," she continued. "It will work best if you mix it in with the food or drink of the desired target."

"Thank you." Soifon turned and walked away, leaving Nemu standing alone in the hallway. OOOOO Yoruichi-sama, she thought, this is going to be perfect! Nemu, however, was totally worried. In fact her thoughts were more along the lines of, "This isn't going to work out as I planned." And she was right, dead right, but Soifon couldn't have been more wrong.