Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural
When Cas said he'd had sex Deal felt like he was going to be sick. He felt like he was dying and like his mouth had gone dry, he felt like his heart was shattering into pieces and he just wanted to go to his room, turn off the lights, get under the covers and stay there for the rest of eternity. He wanted things to go back to the way they'd been before angels and the rest of the crazy shit that had been going on started, when he looked for his dad, and hunted ghosts. Salt and burn was easy, hell, demons were easy but this, that moment, the seconds seemed to last for years, and time stilled around him. He felt like he was choking on his burrito, or maybe that was his heart, perhaps it was the tell tale lump in the throat that foreshadowed crying. Whatever it was, he swallowed and gave Castiel, fallen angel of the lord, a reassuring smile. He began spouting lies left and right and pretending his world hadn't just come crashing around his ears. That night when he went to his cement build room, he shut the door and turned out the lights, stumbling to bed and crawling under the covers. He'd locked the door so unless someone was going to pick the lock he would have some time to himself. He wanted to scream and shout and stomp his feet and cry and punch that bitch in the face. He wanted to punch everyone in the face. Life had gone tits up the moment Castiel had uttered those words. He seemed both proud of it, for it had been an achievement to him, and disappointed that it hadn't actually counted. Dean took a shuddering breath, his movements slow and he tried to calm himself. "Get your shit together man." He snarled at himself. He was acting stupid, like a girl, over Cas like they were something more than friends. Dean wanted more than friends but clearly, Cas did not.
"Dean?" Called a disembodied voice from the door along with a soft knock. Dean said nothing, just listened. "Dean?" Castiel called again. Dean wondered if Cas was going to plead his case, beg to stay in the bunker, he'd promised the ex-angel the night but in the morning said he'd have to leave. Ezekiel had spoken, angel to angel a moment before they seemed to come to an understanding and Sam was returned to the world. "I know you are in there Dean, I just wanted you to know, and you can talk to me. I know when you are lying Dean, angel or not." Castiel seemed to be softening as he spoke. Dean still stayed silent. "I wish to talk and if that means asking Ezekiel to open the door or asking Sam to pick the lock then I shall." Castiel's voice sounded pleading and gentle but the threat was clear. Dean sighed as loudly as he could in the hopes that Castiel would hear it as he shuffled and stumbled in the dark towards the door, flicking the lights on and unlocking it. As he slowly pulled it open, Castiel seemed relieved, like he had not really meant his threat.
"What?" Dean grumbled.
"You were lying earlier when you were pretending to be pleased with my…intimacy." Castiel said.
"That's what you wanted to talk about?" Dean hissed viciously.
"I was concerned both as to why you felt the need to lie, and why you were displeased with my story." Castiel said, not seeming fazed by Dean's ferocious words.
"I told you why people lie." Dean seethed.
"Well then what is it that you desire?" Castiel said recalling when Dean told him people lie when they really want something. That was, not that Cas found it important at the time, how to become president, in Dean's words.
"I desire to be left alone." Dean snarled as he went to shut the door only to be stopped by the angel.
"Also a lie Dean." Castiel said as he pushed into the room and stood watching the hunter closely. "And I will not leave until you talk to me." He declared. Dean debated what to do, declare his love, shove Cas out of hid room, flopping on his bed, or just leaving.
"Fine. Damn it Cas, you know what? Fine. I like you and I was disappointed you…" Dean trailed off before deciding he'd chosen the wrong course of action and hurried from his room in search of a drink. Castiel hurried after him, practically chasing him.
"Dean." Castiel said as he grabbed Dean's arm, halting his escape. He yanked on Dean's arm, spinning him around and causing their lips to press together firmly. Dean blinked in surprise and Castiel slipped his arms around Dean's waist. When the angel finally released him Dean huffed awkwardly.
"That escalated quickly." Dean said pulling out of Castiel's grasp. "I'm not gay." Dean tried to reassure himself.
"My vessel is a male, I however, am neither male nor female." Castiel said. "If you desired I would have changed myself to a female vessel but I no longer have the power to do that. I apologize." Castiel looked sad, disappointed even.
"Not a girl, but not a dude. That's good enough for me." Dean shrugged nonchalantly before yanking the angel against him and kissed him with as much love and need as he could muster.
"I don't want to be just good enough." Castiel pouted when their lips broke.
"Slow down tiger, I love you, I'm just not ready to jump in the deep end just yet." Dean smiled at Cas whose face lit up.