Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders, or "Stupid" by Sarah Mclachlan.
"How stupid could I be? / A simpleton could see / That you're no good for me / But you're the only one I see..."
Sodapop Curtis intertwined his fingers with Sandy Harrison, grinning at her as the weight of his ring suddenly felt ten thousand pounds. He stroked her hand with his thumb, trying to think of a way to pop the question. Soda and Sandy had been dating for quite a long time now, and he was sure they were both crazy in love with each other. The way Sandy's china-like blue eyes glittered when she looked at him, and the way his stomach always filled with butterflies when he saw her, were signs he considered as being in love.
"Sandy, I just want you to know, that I love you a lot," he grinned a winning smile. They were sitting in the empty park, the tall light flickering above the park bench. He unwrapped their fingers and wrapped his arm around her neck, kissing her cheek.
Blood rushed up to her cheek as she took hold of his hand again. "Soda, there's something you should know..."
It was rare that Sandy and Soda had serious conversations, but when they did, it was normally about something small. Like the time Sandy had been upset about the girls Soda had been clobbered with each time she would visit him at DX, or any other place. They understood each other like no other. In simpler words, they were perfect for each other. At least in Soda's mind they were.
"What's wrong?" he looked down at her. Her blonde hair was hugging her face, her eyes fixated on the grass infront of them. She looked pale, her expression emotionless. He so badly wanted to kiss her and tell her everything was going to be okay, but instead, he kept quiet and braced himself for whatever she was about to say.
"I..." she began, looking down at her hands. She fidgeted with her fingers, and began to drum her fingers on her skirt.
"Sandy, baby, what's wrong?" he pressed on. Trying to get Sandy to talk about her feelings wasn't easy for Soda - she was tough when it came to feelings. Normally she was a real easy going and sensitive person, but she could back up whatever she said. Steve approved of her just fine, and as far as he knew, and Ponyboy liked her too.
"I'm pregnant," she blurted out. Tears rolled down her cheeks, looking crystal clear as the moonlight reflected off of her skin. His heart stopped, and his arm froze in place. Suddenly remembering why he had brought her here, he dug in his pocket for the ring. Pulling it out, Sandy's eyes darted from the ground and she widened her eyes at the ring. He fiddled with it, nervous.
"I was gonna ask you before you told me you were...pregnant."
He knew that Sandy was aware of him asking her to marry him. They had spoken about getting married and growing old together plenty times before this occasion. Now that she was pregnant, and they both loved each other, he could marry her. He was excited for his life to begin -
"It's not yours," she whispered, cutting off his happy thoughts. Though her voice was inaudible, he had heard it as if she used an amplifier. Freezing in place again, he dropped the ring on the ground. He had pawned a few of his mother's jewelery items to buy that ring - he knew it was wrong, but his mom would have wanted him to be happy. And marrying Sandy would have made him one of the happiest people on the universe.
But she had cheated on him. That changed everything.
"You cheated?" he asked, his voice catching on the last word. He could hardly believe it. His beautiful Sandy had really cheated on him - and he didn't even see it. Everyday she looked at him with the same awed expression, but he had never suspected anything negative about it. Reality had a hard time coming down to Soda, and when it did, it hit him hard. First, Ponyboy was gone, and now he had found out that his girlfriend had cheated on him. What else could go wrong?
"We can get married anyways," he tried to grin, and gave her a light and reassuring shake. More tears came rolling down her cheeks. He brushed them away with the sleeve of his shirt and looked down at her.
"No," she shook her head. "My parents are sending me away."
"Love has made me a fool / It set me on fire and watched as I floundered / Unable to speak..."
He stared at her. First, she had cheated on him. Second, she had gotten pregnant. Third, she had rejected his lame attempt at a proposal. And fourth, she was leaving him.
"Please," he squeezed his eyes shut and took his arm off of her shoulders. "Please tell me you're kidding." He couldn't accept the fact that he wasn't in some sort of fantasy world where he would have a happy ending. He was just a dumb, school drop out hood who had been cheated on with the girl he had been in love with. The girl who he would have spent the rest of his life with happily.
"I ain't kiddin'. I'm goin' to live with my grandma in Florida," she got up from the park bench. Soda just looked at her as she quit crying and stared at him. "I love you, Soda, I just ain't in love with you."
Those words stung. He nodded, trying to take this all in. The night that he had told all of his buddies about, was ruined. For the first time, in a long time, he had bragged about proposing to Sandy. He had gotten props and pats on the back from all of his friends - and seeing her had made him the happiest man alive. Now he felt like he had just been shot. Right in the heart.
"Create an oasis / Dries up as soon as you're gone / You leave me here burning / In this desert without you..."
Soda lounged around the rest of the week. Every night he would cry. Just when he thought life couldn't have gotten any worse, he had remembered about his kid brother running away. Life wasn't anything like he wanted it to be. He could have a junior Sodapop, a wife, and then maybe in the future a few grand kids. But that was all optimistic bullshit now. He wanted to get over it, but he couldn't. He seemed to think that heartbreak was worse then having any sort of disease. It hurt just as much, and their was no cure for it.
"You wanna get a bite to eat?" Steve asked for the tenth time, trying to cheer his buddy up. Steve knew how depressed Soda was about Sandy, but he couldn't help but at least make an effort to brighten him up a bit.
"No," he answered again. He took a long, and peaceful drag of his cigarette. He dropped it to the ground, squishing it with his heel. He stared long and hard at the ground, dazing off into the world that didn't exist. Again.
"Soda, buddy, you gotta get over the chick," Steve said in a soft, bitter tone. The same tone he used every day of his life.
"I know," he admitted. He knew he had to get over her, but he couldn't find it in himself to. He just couldn't believe she had really cheated on him. She was so sweet...so beautiful...
Steve threw an arm around his shoulders. "C'mon buddy, I'm sure Evie's got a coupla friends -"
"What?" Soda stared wide-eyed at his best friend. It had only been a few days since he had been given the news, he couldn't find it in himself to hate her. There had to be something that he did to cause her to do such -
''I said, she could pro'lly hook you up. If yer interested,'' Steve and him walked up the porch, sitting down. Steve managed to get a cigarette out of his tight jean pocket, and fumbled with the almost-dead lighter until it lit.
''No, man.''
Soda sure as hell knew it would be a long time until he would be able to get over Sandy. It would be a long time until he would be able to get back into the dating game. A lot of girls often flirted with him, but he hadn't thought much of it until Sandy had brought it up to him. He went to DX for his love for cars, not to flirt with girls and cheat on Sandy.
Soda sighed and shut his eyes. He thought back when he was younger, when everything used to be so simple.
"Everything changes / Everything falls apart / Can't stop to feel myself losing control / But deep in my sense I know / How stupid could I be?"
It was pretty hard to write in Soda's head about Sandy - they aren't my favorite couple in the Outsiders, but I tried pretty hard with this. Review :)