A/N Fear the results of my boredom.
Please do not read if your brains dont catch sarcasm, or my awkward dry humor.
It was quite random really, true, Matt has been once or twice (or more) in a police office, first of all, because his father was a police officer, secondly, because he and Mello simply atracted police officer, thank their looks for THAT.
Or perhaps its the kidnapping and other ilegal things that cause them to always end up in a police office.
Oh well.
It was quite random, one moment he was in a car, the other he had twenty-four guns poiting at him, and next he spot himself sitting in a odd-looking chair in a dark room, it was one of those scenes you only expect to encounter in old detective movies or videogames, three of them and one Matt.
A man, no, a young man with red curls and green eyes was sitting infront of him with a book, a book with alot of names and faces, probably the local criminals and the culprits who have been released, sometimes he awkwardly gazed at Matt, who, by the way, was humbly (not) sitting with his feet on the table and his arms crossed on his chest.
Then there was another man, 45 if not 50, although his temper was quite like Mello`s, their appeareance wore exact opposites.
And I dont think its the best idea to have a 50 year old police officer walk around with spanking leather black jeans and an weird feather jacket Matt mistook for something that belonged in the gay bar.
Not that, you know, he ever actually went there.
The gay bar I mean, not Mello`s jacket.
However, there was also a woman who kept walking in and out, giving the men in the room confused looks and blushed at the sight of Matt, she herself was quite young, probably a rookie, 20 perhaps 25.
"Where are you from?" Asked the red headed officer, not once parting his gaze from the book.
Matt yawned, ignoring the question.
"He asked you something!" Said the old man, "Luka" was his name, if the name on his badge is any indication.
Matt gave him a bored look. "Where im from? Well, sir, that is quite obviously my mother`s womb."
Luka murmmured something under his breath that was barely understandable to Matt, although he was sure he heard the words "Damn." and "Naruto." and "Glasses."
For reasons that are quite beyond me, what does Naruto have to do with Matt? and sure SURE they both wear goggles, but still.
The young man took it ligther and continued questioning him, obviously expecting Matt to seriously answer them.
"What hospital?" The young man asked.
Matt blinked and moved his head a little to the right to express confusion. "How do you expect me to know which place I was born in when I could hardly recognize the people around me?"
"You dont remember the hospital you were born in?" The young man gasped.
"Uh, quite obviously not since I was barely one week old."
"Oh you silly!" The young man giggled.
This even striked a chord with Matt,taking everything he had to not burst out laughing and fall on the floor. "Are you gay?" He said it like a question, altough it sounded more like the discovery of the young man`s sexual preference.
The giggling lips made place a straight line, his eyes again huge looking quite innocent, and before he could answer Luka talked.
"Be serious!"
"I am." Matt said without a spot of sarcasm in his voice.
Luka grunted and gave the perhaps-gay-young-man A Look. "Where did you grow up?" Luka asked with no remaining grudge.
"Many places,"
"What city were you born in-and do not say you dont remember because I know you do." Luka randomly chipped in, his face looking triuphant, as if he just got the trap that would catch the mouse.
How foolish.
"I cannot think straight when I do not have a cigarette sticking out of my mouth, to put it bluntly."
"Perhaps if you allow me to light one up I might be able to answer that question." He added.
Luka was red with anger, young man was red with...well,
Due to Matt`s previous statement, we can all think by ourselves can we not?
"Smoking in public areas is prohibited." Said the woman -Lara- just the second she came in, it wouldnt be surprising if she was eaversdropping on their whole conversation.
"Is complimenting a woman for her beautiful looks also prohibited?" Matt said, looking at the woman straight in the eye, police or not, Matt couldnt help himself when there was a gorgous lady in his sight.
Especially if their blonde.
Lara smiled a little and again walked out of the room.
Luka`s fist whammed in the wooden table, his eyes spitting venmon and the corner of his lips shaking. "Damn it! Take this seriously or we will shoot you right here and now!"
"Does killing me right here and now not make you yourself a criminal?" Matt asked, his cant-think-without-my-cigs- statement obviously falling in the black.
Truthfully, Luka seemed genuinely surprised by this, and the young man hid his face behind the book, allowing Matt to see what it said on the cover. "1880-2005" It said.
"Dont ask crap, killing a criminal is not a crime." Luka asked.
"I am not a criminal."
"Of course you are!" The young man said. "You are the ali of the kidnapper are you or are you not?"
"Exacly." Said Luka, perhaps he said it just to have the last word.
"Oh, kidnapping? criminal?" He asked himself "Perhaps." He yawned boredly.
"Do you personally know the culprit who kidnapped Takada?" Luka asked with a calm that surprised Matt.
"Maybe."
Alas, his calm did not last more than a few seconds. "That"
"Is."
"IT."
"That`s it? good. Can I leave now?" Matt asked.
Luka replied with a gesture that made Matt wonder if he and Mello were related by blood, the man grabbed him by the collar of his shirt for reasons unknown. "What the hell do you have against Kira?"
Matt blinked and was surprised by the man who was sligthly bent to grab his collar. "Kira? who is that?"
The young man gasped."You dont know who Kira is?" his hand reached for his lips to cover his hanging mouth, ,this just supported the I-am-gay statement from before.
"Truthfully, I have known and been in the bed of soo many girls I hardly keep up with their names, it wouldnt be a big surprise if one of them was called Kira."
Luka bit his lip. "You are not serious are you?"
"Like I said before, I always intend to be serious, if you`re not, people just dont take you seriously either, but then again, I can`t think straight when I dont have my cigs."
"Why would you participate in Takada`s kidnapping if you dont know who Kira is?" Luka asked without expecting any answer.
"Who`s Takada?" Matt said drily.
"Our Godess!" the young man said it as if he was talking about superman being real, and for reasons that are beyond Matt, and probably even Luka, The young man got out a picture of Miss Takada out of his pocket.
"Nah, she`s pretty, just not my type, I wouldn`t call her a godess will I now?"
"And besides, im more into blondes." He added as Lara walked in again with a bunch of papers in her hands, this caused her to blush.
"Sir Heffrey,do you not think we must continue on the questioning?" Said Lara,
Luka shook his head and let Matt`s collar go, with a red face he sat behind his desk and grabbed the book of the young boy, finally allowing Matt to learn his name, "Hanson"
Just who call`s his son "Hanson"?
Then again, who calls his son "Mail."
"She`s right, were you born in America?" Luka asked.
"I was born in a hospital."
"Which one?"
"Like I said befo-"
"Dont, say anything." Luka warned, and repeated his question, Matt, however, remained silent.
"Answer me damnit!" Luka yelled, causing Hanson to yelp.
"I tought you told me not to say anything."
Luka stood up. "What country were you born in?"
Matt looked unnimpressed. "Africa."
First, Luka had a triumphant look on his face, this however fade away when he realized what the culprit had said. "Are you even taking this seriously?"
"No, not really."
A/N Well, that was weird.
Please review :3