She can't believe she didn't see it earlier. She should've expected this, should've known that this was a possibility, that this--- that his obsession could lead to---
Of course she'd had her own problems, what with being an intern, and then a resident and discovering that the only person she had to make happy was herself, not to mention being alternately infatuated and furious with him… Not to mention that little thing with having the fate of your patient's lives in your hands day in and day out... She's expecting too much of herself if she thinks she should've caught it. She had no way of knowing that something like this could happen.
She was a catch, they had a child; this wasn't how it was supposed to be! They were supposed to live happily ever after now, after eight years of struggle. She wasn't supposed to turn into her mother…It wasn't frickin' fair!
Barbie, I don't know how you managed to survive preschool, let alone four years of college, three years of medical school, your internship and residency, and awww hell, the world in general if you haven't figured out by now (although honestly, you're a little slow on the uptake so I'm not really surprised at aaalllll…) that life, well she just isn't fair. She's a bitch, always taking what you've always wanted and turning it into your worst nightmare. Suck it up.
A sour laugh forces itself out of her lips at the irony… she wonders if one of his internal voices is Dr. Cox too… Probably. Of course his version of Dr. Cox gives him more than the occasional 'not-really-a-pep-talk' pep talk…
Ewwww… Not that there's anything wrong with that but, no, he's her husband and he's a co-worker and no…
Looking back so many little things stand out like giant flashing beacons… the way he always plays with her hair when it's freshly curled and the ringlets are still tight, how much he enjoys it when she gets…aggressive in their love play… when he paid special attention to her hair that time when the colorist completely botched the whole thing and there was too much orange and practically made her a frickin' redhead and it was agony waiting three weeks until she could fix it, she could barely wash it, and it was so gross, but he'd liked it so she'd gotten over her little phobia, just a little… although she did bleach it back to her natural blonde and had tried to ignore how disappointed he'd looked.
So, maybe there were signs, but it was only natural to not want to see them.
Maybe she was reading too much into this, maybe she should go back to therapy, maybe maybe maybe…
There really isn't a choice, they've got a daughter now and this relationship has to work – no matter what.
She almost almost feels sorry for him, because she sees the way that Dr. Cox looks at Jordan now, and how when Jordan thinks no one is watching, she returns the glance. They love each other, even though Jordan would kill her if she ever said that out loud. They love each other the way they should love each other…
He doesn't have a chance. Dr. Cox will never leave her, and Jordan would certainly prevent any attempts to drive them apart with lethal force.
JD is so frickin' screwed.